tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post662225953678865444..comments2024-01-11T13:58:09.780-05:00Comments on Happyendingz - confessions of an erotic masseuse: "No Where To Go From Here But Up"cjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01910801307428469433noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-24802489788923213892012-02-02T11:42:37.046-05:002012-02-02T11:42:37.046-05:00woww great post good luckwoww great post good luckbusana muslimhttp://toko-baju-muslim.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-69431340163973848122011-11-12T23:48:57.448-05:002011-11-12T23:48:57.448-05:00This blog is really well written and articulated, ...This blog is really well written and articulated, are you sure this is the only occupation you can get into? Not that I have a problem with your current occupation, but it's just seems a little odd that you can articulate yourself so well, its apparent your an educated woman. YOu have potential.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-55868790644237676622011-11-05T22:52:58.638-04:002011-11-05T22:52:58.638-04:00because there's no blessing in this work...IT ...because there's no blessing in this work...IT SUCKS. we immediately begin to think it's the only way.<br /><br />FUCK starbucks. i dreamed of working in the profession i work in, it is a creative profession, which i dabbled in here and there. over time i pushed myself to really commit to it. it has been scary to drop the security blanket of massage, but i just had this first month making a decent amount working in my creative profession. i used to be a temp administrative assistant; i worked half this month and i made more than i made working full-time as a temp. cj, i really want to support you in following your dreams. i don't wanna sound cheesy but God loves you sweetheart. He really does. you don't have to work at starbucks. but if you do, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. and it wouldn't be forever.<br /><br />now i wanna tell you something that i know a sex worker can hear. i used to hustle and hustle and hustle, enduring the "how much does my extra $100 get me" in the rooms with the family pictures. i'd hustle and hustle, and i might be happy if i made...let's see, 140 x 3 massages...420. and that was WORK. exhausting WORK, like battle fatigue kind of work. war. but i didn't usually make it. i might make 120 for one massage and say, eeeh, it's still more than starbucks.<br /><br />here's the nice part. in my creative profession, we have a day rate. i dreamed of making $400 a day. i have been getting those jobs. last week, i had a job where i made $500 for a day of light, pleasant creative labor. and i have the 100/day days. but it's beautiful. to be working in my vision.<br /><br />cj... i believe there is a way out. NOW. i did whatever i had to do to get to this point. i did some shady things. but i knew i needed this.<br /><br />i wanna support you, even if it's just in blog comments, to LIVE YOUR VISION. whatever that thing is, that you wanna do, you can do it. you talked about tanning salon, about owning one. that is not an unreachable dream. and it's a legitimate dream. there is a demand in NYC where i live for spray-tanners. you go to people's homes and spray tan them in a pop-up thingy. people are willing to pay big money for hilarious shit--not just for handjobs! BIG MONEY. i really, really wanna encourage you to stay positive and really connect with your innermost dreams. even if you have a mini dream, that will lead to a bigger dream.<br /><br />i didn't think i had shame about what i did, but now i look back and i see i really did have shame about it. because it's SO possible to have a life without sex work. for me it's a lifestyle that i was addicted to. but what i believe is this: the skills are transferable into a legitimate profession.<br /><br />i feel so MAD when i think of this douchebag jizzing on your face, thinking this is SEXY. what an ASSHOLE. i jerked tons of dicks of married men and it's just, it's just fucking horrifying. it's like being a drug dealer. it doesn't take long to relax out of the sex work mindset. it is so healing, so healing to do good work and to have a vision. <br /><br />you can do anything you want. i'm really perceptive about people even from limited bits of information--as sex workers are--and I feel absolutely sure you are smart, lovable, witty, clever, and i'm sure you have a million gifts to share with the world and parlay into marketable projects/businesses. you deserve and are capable of making yourself proud.<br /><br />i'm not going to apologize for the lecture, because it isn't a lecture. i'm truly sharing from my heart. love love love love love.<br /><br />-"n," your friend in nyc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-29143313031595219542011-11-05T22:52:24.743-04:002011-11-05T22:52:24.743-04:00<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
CJ, from your ...<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<br />CJ, from your blog-reader in NYC, same age as you and started around the time you started (at least your blog), i read this and feel so much love for you. <br /><br />you know what? i quit massage. i have been massage free for two months now, one day at a time. i had quit before, but this time, i think it is for real. i so, so, so just feel love when i read a post like this, so exactly the same as what i've been through. it's amazing how the shaming comments on here seem to be from people who have a vested interest in the sex industry and the idea of women offering sexual services to guys for money being cool. we do it even knowing it isn't cool. and there's the commentor who said 'starbucks is always hiring.'<br /><br />cj, i wanna tell you i have found earning money a difficult thing my whole life since i had my first job which paid 5.15 an hour. i found sex work at age 28 and thought my problems were licked. after my first month as a sexworkaholic, i never, never came close to what i made in the beginning. why? why are sex workers always broke? you always talk about being broke in your blog posts--always needing the money...why? why? why? (continued...)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-47230766336128289832011-10-16T16:23:14.411-04:002011-10-16T16:23:14.411-04:00LOL! I love the Anon who is pretending to be an e...LOL! I love the Anon who is pretending to be an ex boyfriend...LMFAO!!!!!! What a loser.<br /><br />CJ you're awesome! Keep making your money, keep reading these comments, and keep your chin up!Shannon Raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01523008485373557979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-71966685671676178592011-09-23T14:49:21.698-04:002011-09-23T14:49:21.698-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Shannon Raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01523008485373557979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-76972628950411135772011-09-23T02:27:45.195-04:002011-09-23T02:27:45.195-04:00CJ: What you wrote helped me. I belive in the powe...CJ: What you wrote helped me. I belive in the power of confession and it is helpful to know how to deal with shame. I need an Eric. Thank you for writing this the way you did.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-41428767519398398172011-09-22T00:09:30.127-04:002011-09-22T00:09:30.127-04:00that broad's greek, Unknown.that broad's greek, Unknown.rdg-abenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-91443006575781142872011-09-21T15:57:59.602-04:002011-09-21T15:57:59.602-04:00I say rent a space at a salon or at an existing pa...I say rent a space at a salon or at an existing parlor. You can be your own boss and set your own hours and rules. I know a Russian person who rents a room at a nail salon. She'll only come in when someone books an appointment with her prior. She doesn't need to sit around all day just waiting. And she sets her hours to 10 am to 7 pm. If a client can't book between those time with her, then they don't book with her at all. She also uses this as a cover for her sexual vents, as she does do extras for clients that she likes. If she doesn't like you, you won't get anywhere with her except a really good massage.John Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00996523017704582325noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-87899384686853959082011-09-21T13:57:49.661-04:002011-09-21T13:57:49.661-04:00Go back to a different place, work there while in ...Go back to a different place, work there while in school, and then quit the business. You are not happy living this life so make plans to get out of it. Just make sure that if you quit the blog give us a sign off.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-13728756759413318142011-09-21T10:25:01.019-04:002011-09-21T10:25:01.019-04:00CJ-
Longtime reader - first time commenter. Like...CJ-<br /><br />Longtime reader - first time commenter. Like you, during periods of disappointment and hardship in my career/life, I have found myself doing things I had formerly sneered at and turned my nose up to when I knew of others doing them. Many of your posts over the years have revealed your disapproval and derision towards those who do the things you now find yourself doing. That's cool, and that's human.<br /><br />Hopefully, now that you've seen the rock bottom as you say, you will remember a valuable lesson from this experience. We really can't judge others too harshly when we don't know what kind of shit they are dealing with.<br /><br />Good luck with everything; we're rooting for you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-15698568305700160692011-09-21T07:57:43.068-04:002011-09-21T07:57:43.068-04:00Last post? Hope springs eternal...
And I promise...Last post? Hope springs eternal...<br /><br />And I promise you, your urgent need for medication has nothing to do with this blog :/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-57060879506830109902011-09-21T07:09:42.555-04:002011-09-21T07:09:42.555-04:00To the guy who wonders if I am off my meds...
no.....To the guy who wonders if I am off my meds...<br />no...i dont take any...although I should after this girl...shes nothing your little fantasies and hopes dream up...hence the downward spiral...trust me,not too long ago she was away from all of this and doing...ok...for a fucking nut-bag.<br />all "sex work" aside<br />she is smart, fairly cute, fucks like a minx, but insane when it comes to anything outside of 'meaningful' sex- if showing intimacy(aka loony)...she should keep to the cuddling handjobs and footrubs that she is awesome at. <br /><br />Grow up hun 29-30 is barely your 20's something...whatever sells those eyes tho.<br /><br />...shameful really...not what you do, but why you went back and what you went to since then. Pathetic to the nth degree...You are just weak and so is your constituency in life(if you still talk to anybody/family honestly besides Eric without discourse)...and realllly? Eric?) lmfao<br /><br />...although the times were great. I will admit that. you got good "game" and i dont mean seducing.<br />....done reading and posting, we'll cross paths im sure.<br />(the never posting Anon, unlike the peanut gallery of Anons out there)<br /><br />This will be my last post,K...<br />I wish shit was different but ill never "out you" and your little BS game for it makes you coo.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-35030168691930321872011-09-21T00:31:10.942-04:002011-09-21T00:31:10.942-04:00Oh CJ...do you read these comments?
Im wondering ...Oh CJ...do you read these comments?<br /><br />Im wondering is there NO other business in town other than the one you worked at? <br /><br />Independent is harder...you have to advertise, schedule your own time, ensure your own safety, set your own boundaries, etc. When I first started reading your blog, you were pretty hard on women who provided more than just the perfect happy ending...I'm wondering if you are being equally as hard on yourself now that things have changed? <br />Build in some self forgiveness...and then...get over it girl. Nothing wrong with simply applying to a new erotic massage business, is there? <br />I think its unfair for any of your fans, or your haters, to expect you to stop this line of work without Plan B already providing an income. I also think its pretty unfair for you to continually shame yourself for all your alleged sins during this learning experience we'll call being "independent". It is whatever YOU define it as...not what others tell you it is. <br /><br />And CJ, real talk, "rock bottom" cuz you let someone finger you might be a lil dramatic. If you think about it, outcall is dangerous..."rock bottom" could look alot worse. <br />My advice, as a seasoned pro pervert, stop letting individual events define who you are. As you already know...adult service is a dance, a game. Get your game back... its all in how you see it. How is a "butt release" at the Biz any different/safer/better than a facial at a hotel? Its the same...what is different is how you FEEL about it because you are more isolated (working alone, noone to process with). <br />Remember the guy you thought had died at the Biz? Picture that same event in your current state of mind. <br />I think you are too isolated, you are shaming yourself needlessly, you are defining things with good/bad/worse/better value judgements that have NO built in forgiveness for the crazy situations you encounter. Same crazy situations at the Biz, you would sit back and laugh as you dished on it, you wouldnt be so quick to blame yourself for other people's bad behavior. <br />Consider this... you are coming from a position of weakness at the moment. If you arent coming with your A game...you shouldnt be doing outcall. Outcall requires you to be completely in tune with all your senses and listening to your gut to keep you safe. Right now, you're too distracted listening to your negative self talk to hear your instincts that will keep you safe. <br />You are an expert at the game...if you want to keep playing until you retire, find another Biz to work from. Right now...the energy coming from your current posts...reads "VICTIM" and outcall isnt the place. <br />Words to live by: Do you!<br />Much support to you...Miss Fortuneshttp://blog.missfortunes.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-53220987750593408922011-09-20T19:56:11.171-04:002011-09-20T19:56:11.171-04:00Regarding four posts back:
Huh?!? Wait... huh?!?...Regarding four posts back:<br /><br />Huh?!? Wait... huh?!?<br /><br />Did somebody forget his meds?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-20983897973977160012011-09-20T18:21:36.442-04:002011-09-20T18:21:36.442-04:00They say that you have to hit bottom before you ca...They say that you have to hit bottom before you can get help.<br /><br />It sounds like the law of diminishing returns has set in, and not only is it *not* fun and exciting anymore, it's starting to warp your sense of who you are.<br /><br />I think it might be time to stop, get some professional help if you can and start thinking about a Plan B for your life.<br /><br />I'm wishing good luck, as always.Tom Moranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13490214833767751455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-17316184232042477802011-09-20T15:15:26.238-04:002011-09-20T15:15:26.238-04:00Wow as others have said you are truly a talented w...Wow as others have said you are truly a talented writer. But I have to re-iterate that you need to accept that what you do is indeed sex-work. You don't get semen in your hair from massaging someone. I'm sure his wife would call it sex work. And speaking of wife, CJ please be careful! His house!?!?!!! Really??!!?!! Did you at least have your techie friend 1) check for hidden cameras and 2) hide nearby to make sure the wife didn't come back!!!<br /><br />But, IMHO, there is absolutely nothing wrong with sex-work between two (or more) consenting adults. And when I say consenting that includes adults not under any form of physical or psychological duress.<br /><br />A lot of men (present company included so you know my bias on this topic) have this primal need for sexual encounters and gratification....Why not capitalize on it?<br /><br />Just be true to yourself, be comfortable with who you are, but don't compromise any of your values, boundaries, etc. And most importantly don't put your safety at risk!<br /><br />BTW I am not implying that who you are is a sex worker. In other words being a sex worker is not what defines you. You ARE (--insert real name--). And only you know what that real means.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-40237510190801341432011-09-20T15:15:23.449-04:002011-09-20T15:15:23.449-04:00?...Fuck off Pussy/confused anonymous...this Anony...?...Fuck off Pussy/confused anonymous...this Anonymous only concerns one person and that doesn't involve you. and dont try to make it, you admire/jack off to a person you know nothing about<br /><br />this is between me and the woman hiding behind the shrouds of decent "therapy" for needy pushy old dick'd men...a talent-less hack except for mixing booze and fucking around with men she doesn't know(except "regulars" lmfao)<br />...driving her 'truck' with her 'blonde' hair...she talks a good game in life/relationships, but is SOo0o full of B.S. she cant stand being herself...trust me i know, justify all you want you will never find that love again you harlot...<br />I wish we met before he used you...but, you decided to be fucked up instead and take it out on the good girl that i would have fallen for. I knew something was up when you gave the best HJ I had ever had and knew how to scream like a banshee...its all a act, even the 'LOVE'...why take trips to fuck with other guys cocks when you had a big dick at home that was wiling to fuck you til you were shaking, begging for death, melting into me cooing for more, so i could truly support the best in you, your heart not your wallet...Fun watching you fall from afar tho...its truly is BS...hope you get a kid out of it, or well for its sake I hope you dont. Every decent man you find you play games with...shame cause you could have the sunshine and all the lust you could handle. shame you couldn't seduce a real man...instead you went ape shit. And now your in PA playing with gross cocks from pushy men... Congratulations! K,so youve come/gone a long way...and not upwards you slut. I would have lavished in it tho(if you could have had love and focused it on me) but you are too tired after work from all the wrist/tit/ass/leg whoring lol...you only like the word slut when there is a whip after it...to each their own.<br />mine own<br />you will sell your home/car etc soon enough, you're soul is already up for auction, although its cheap in quality so i don't think it'll go for much. If writing for the bottom of the barrel pervs is what will make your money/satisfaction so you don't have to touch them or let them cum on your face/tits/ass etc then sure,plus it validates your fucked up mind...why not...at least since i last knew you you are upping the slut factor(just That much more)...would have been fun when you were not being so insecure about your body and love...guess need overrides that. Good luck on keeping the house and family together You.<br /><br />Why read relationship books if you fucking suck so much at them? just wondering...? you're the smartest sluttiest idiot i know K,laterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-65674386506930356132011-09-20T12:01:57.708-04:002011-09-20T12:01:57.708-04:00Huh?Huh?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-80500790550737940482011-09-20T04:51:03.422-04:002011-09-20T04:51:03.422-04:00I have known you a Long time my dark seductress......I have known you a Long time my dark seductress...<br />this blog means shit to the either of us> I know your aspirations and they aren't BS B.S.<br />You said you wouldn't, but now you<br />re too much, too deep in...its ruined relationships before and you Know that...this "Derek" guy doesn't exist is my best guess but the loathing you have over your predicament is killing you. Between family and home you scrape by since 17 learning the "business" but never growing from sexuality to maturity, from instability to tranquility, from chaos to control...and that is what I missed and wanted to most out of you 'CJ'...i never believed your PA hair-salon BS from day one but Love is what Love is, and i hope you find something real in life.<br />May it make you pass out and shiver lol.<br />M.JayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-4439415858161701742011-09-20T04:05:05.748-04:002011-09-20T04:05:05.748-04:00Im glad others have acknowledged your writing tale...Im glad others have acknowledged your writing talent. Not too mention the fact of how well and length of time you have ran your blog. Been a fan for quite some time. Take care!Mr. Phttp://www.mrparlor.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-25631307509079927472011-09-19T20:20:05.452-04:002011-09-19T20:20:05.452-04:00I am really happy to hear that you found a confida...I am really happy to hear that you found a confidant to talk to about your experiences completely. It is very important that he handled it in a non-judgmental way. It helps my heart to hear it made you feel better. I've been reading for the last week. My life partner has been in the FBSM industry for 3 years now and never quite come clean on the details. I think I'm crazy and she thinks . . . I don't know. I'm a writer myself and I'd agree with other posters that you definitely have the chops. Please share more of your stories. I hope it helps you and it's already helped me.gonzo's the greathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05902158471426123951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-60627576305308044382011-09-19T19:00:41.577-04:002011-09-19T19:00:41.577-04:00I feel for you, go back to your beginnings and sta...I feel for you, go back to your beginnings and start massage therapy again, check chiropractor, physical therapist offices. maybe some fancy motels. <br /> Good luck, I admit I would miss your blogs, but I am not one to revel in someone's miserythedougfoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13045375546893568290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-27025517372389182462011-09-19T18:11:52.518-04:002011-09-19T18:11:52.518-04:00You know, I just found this blog, about a week ago...You know, I just found this blog, about a week ago, and I think you're great. A tremendously talented writer, a tremendously beautiful woman, and very troubled, at this point.<br /><br />What's troubling you is the fact that you felt earlier on,(from your writings) that you had more control over the situations that arose, and it's pretty apparent that now, you have less and less.<br /><br />I'm 48, married 23 years, with kids, I've never been to a masseuse, never been to a hooker/call-girl. That stuff never did it for me. Even when I was in my 20's. I had one night stands, no regrets, but I never understood why my gender does this. I'm not a prude, I have more then my fair share of kinks, but I never got that aspect of maleness.<br /><br />Anyway, CJ, you're nerd friend is giving you good advice. You can write about the good and bad. You have an audience, and alot of people who read and care.<br /><br />I'm not here for the dirty details, I'm here because you're a talented young woman who tells a great story.<br /><br />I read all the comments, and the ones that most disturb me are the ones that call you a sex worker, and the ones that encourage you to go the extra mile for your clients. I guess my gender never fails to disappoint. The comments that really disturb me, are the ones that tell you that you really should shut up and take it, for the money. Implying, that in some way, we're all really whores who need money, and in reality we get facials everyday, no matter what our occupation is. What a bunch of bullshit.<br /><br />You write less, now, then you did in the past. This line of work is weighing on you. In 3 years it's taken a toll. <br /><br />I think, that with respect to what you do for a living, women would look at it 3 different ways:Some would say, no way, that's gross, I'd never do that. Some would say, whats the harm, what's the big deal. Some would say, I'm okay with this, no harm no foul.<br /><br />I think you're the one in the middle. You enjoy the money, but not the job. It repulses you, to a certain extent, but not always.<br /><br />The true measure of your unhappiness is that I know, if money wasn't the issue, you wouldn't be doing this. You make more in 2 days, when business is good, then you would working retail/fast-food in a week.<br /><br />Dilemmas/disappointments abound. Take Eric's advice. Write!!<br /><br />Good luck, Rob.robhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06254562690879376106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869610604851314861.post-17767281071974353532011-09-19T14:40:27.927-04:002011-09-19T14:40:27.927-04:00The deep despair and anguish sex workers directly ...The deep despair and anguish sex workers directly cause cannot be put into words; when wives find out it is devastating; and before they know the truth, they always sense something isn't right. All the men going to these places-you will not ever be satisfied, you will not find what you want, Imtimacy is not in a massage parlor. CJ-please find God and stop disgracing yourself, your body, and women. You are more than a body.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com