Finally, here is the thrilling conclusion to my confession about getting off at work. I debated for a while over whether to even talk about this or not since I haven't told ANYONE - not even Trina. So here goes... (forgive me Trina!!!!)
I don't know how many times I've faked an orgasm at work, but let me tell ya - I'm goooooood. I do the squealing, head thrashing, heavy breathing, everything. I'll even throw in the customers name (when I can remember it). The Big O isn't an extra by itself, but it's assumed when I'm asked to do any options where I play with myself. I really hate to burst some bubbles out there, but 99% of the time we're faking it in session.
When a guy pays to watch me take care of myself, I go from Ordinary Masseuse to CJ-SUPERSTAR! It's all an act for 2 reasons:
1) I am TOTALLY embarassed about what I look like during orgasm. In fact, I won't even let my boyfriends look at me when I cum. When I reach orgasm, I'll usually grab their heads and pull them down so they can't see my face. I know that sounds totally mental, but that's just how I roll.
2) When I actually do touch myself in real life, it's probably the most boring thing you've ever seen - I barely move and I make absolutely no noise. I've discovered that guys don't want reality in session - they want the whole screaming, thrashing porn star performance.
And for all those customers out there who didn't buy my act and thought they could talk me into a real one, let me know if this little scene sounds familiar?
Me: "Oh I couldn't do THAT for real!"
Them: "Come on baby, I'll make it worth your while."
Me: "Well, I've never done this for a customer before... But for you... OK!"
And a few quiet moans, sighs and a lip bite later, I was several hundred dollars richer and they were none the wiser. Maybe I should have become an actress.
Now this brings me to the deep dark secret that I've been dreading about. I've never told ANYONE this before, but yours truly - CJ - once had an orgasm during session. A really good one too. And ironically, it wasn't during one of my Oscar performances either. Let me explain...
It was during a mutual massage, and the guy had asked for a "cowgirl" release. This is where the customer lies down on his back and I straddle him like we're fucking. Then I reach my hand behind me and work his cock so to him it feels like we're actually fucking (this position goes by other names, but I call it the Cowgirl). He was a Regular that I was comfortable enough with - not a great looking guy, but really really sweet.
As I was working him with my hand, I was also bouncing up and down. So with each bounce I was stroking his cock at the same time. It wasn't like I was grinding on him either - it was just a sort of light, rhythmic fucking motion. Well, as we were pretend fucking he starts with the sexy talk. "Oh CJ... you make me feel so good... I am sooooo hot for you right now..." I told you guys before that I'm a total sucker for sexy talk, so I was just drinking it all in.
Now for an average looking guy, he had a really sexy deep voice. And I think it was the combination of the two that finally got to me. We kept in this position for several minutes. I was in no hurry for him to finish since I was enjoying myself too. He kept caressing me with that silky voice of his, "Mmmmmmmmmmm... You are just soooo sexy... don't stop you beautiful, beautiful girl..."
Suddenly I felt something was wrong. At first, it seemed like a tiny little panic attack, but something about it wasn't right. I felt funny, like there was a knot in my stomach. But it's not my stomach - it's somewhere lower. I think I feel something in my... in my... OH GAWD.
I stopped bouncing. And that's when it hit... The first wave of a giant orgasm. I think I said "oh shit" or something like that because he asked if I was OK. But I wasn't OK. I clutched at his chest with my free hand and let go of his prick at the same time. I actually had to steady myself as wave after wave of intensity washed over me. And by the time I figured out what was happening, it was already coming to an end.
I sat there, shocked for a second, before his voice reminded me I wasn't alone. "Are you sure you're OK CJ?" Now remember what I said before about being embarassed about cumming? This was no exception, and I suddenly felt very very aware of being naked in a room with a naked man underneath me. I actually ended up telling him that I didn't feel good and I had to leave - NOW. So I jumped off the table, grabbed my clothes, ran out of the room and locked myself in the bathroom. That's how embarassed (and mental) I was!
After a few minutes I calmed down, and finally went out and apologized. I explained to him that I just had a wicked stomach ache but I was OK now. I promised him a double next session, and he was OK with that. He never found out that he was the ONLY guy to ever give me an orgasm in session (and one of the few people EVER to see my orgasm face!).
But now the whole world knows and I hope Trina will forgive me for not telling her this story in person. The weird thing is that I have never had an orgasm like that since then. I've even tried recreating the exact same scenario with a boyfriend - but nothing. And the next time that same customer came in, I felt nothing. It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing I guess. Darn.
CJ
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12 comments:
Interesting story.
You won't let a boyfriend see your face when you orgasm? Seriously?
I love eye contact during an orgasm. I wonder if that's just me?
Oddly enough, I feel the same way about orgasm, don't really want my partner to be looking at me. With my current partner its not an issue right now, without her glasses she is practically blind and due to an eye problem lately she isn't allowed to wear her contacts. Its made me a lot more comfortable in bed knowing she can't really see me.
Yeah, I know thats wierd, I have no idea why it bothers me, but it always has.
It is an interesting story.
From a technical aspect I am familiar with the position. It use to be a favorite in certain Russian houses, particularly in Butler and Totowa, NJ. VERY sexy and intimate [at least in appearance] when done by a provider who knows what she is doing and how to cup her hands so it feels just like being inside a woman.
As to orgasms... I am of the firm belief that the only thing more beautiful than the sound of a woman's laughter is that of her in robust sexual release. Especially if she allows me to think I had anything to do with either. :)
You should never hide your pleasure from a lover you care about.
This one of the best post she has written ever.I only wish she was available in my area.
So have you actually gotten off for real? How often do you get to massage a guy you're actually attracted to?
Well, I've just spent much of the afternoon reading your entire blog from the beginning (as many people have said: you are a terrific writer), but I had to pause here. Many of the posts turned me on, but this perhaps more than the others.
I wouldn't dream of scolding you for NOT wanting to reveal yourself in orgasm---particularly at work, where, as you've more or less said, one of the perks of the job is being in control while you watch a guy come---but I would gently encourage you to try it out at home now and then, for the sake of your man, yourself, and maybe even humanity.
Okay, I'm going overboard, but not really that much.
See, for me, that old biblical euphemism for sex, "knowing" (as in "and Abraham knew Sarah"), is actually quite a good one. Because I think that in the throes of genuine passion you get a fuller, more profound understanding of the mystery at the core of another person than you could through even hours of conversation. It's like a glimpse of the wild animal that lurks within the sweetest, gentlest, most civilized person; and it's in pursuit of that encounter that I am drawn to have sex with women rather than just taking matters into my own hand.
Moreover, it seems that the power in that glimpse doesn't seem to wear out very easily, either. I've found that even when some other things start to get stale in a relationship, the thrill of that inner secret, revealed in the face of an orgasmic woman, her soul naked, is the best turn on of all. And maybe it's also the closest and truest that the connection between two human beings can get.
Sometimes when I have an orgasm I worry about how I look. When I'm sweaty and naked with him like this, my face wracked in my own ecstasy, am I still pretty?
I worry about how I sound. Do my squeals turn him on? Does he wonder what my little grunts and groans mean? Does he like them?
I worry about how I smell. He says I'm sweet, but I'm not. He must hate my smell.
I worry about how I feel on him, all slippery, moving up and down, up and down. Does it hurt? Does he want it to last or is he anxious to get on with his life?
Some days I think it is easier to just take care of myself and not get so involved.
I think I once had a similar experience from the customer point of view. This took place in a full service Asian Massage parlor in Connecticut. The situation was that it was during the summertime and the air conditioning at this place was on the fritz, so it was balls hot. We'd just finished with the "massage" portion of the session and moved on to the full service (you everyting, right? 100 dollah). Instead of flat on my back I was sitting up on the table with this girl riding me cowgirl-style. It was feeling pretty good, but I was starting to feel a little smothered due to lack of A/C. So to move things along a bit and to get some air, I grab her by the hips and start bouncing her up and down on me. I'm a big guy, 6 ft. 250 lbs, and this girl, Jenny, was petite as many Asian girls are, about 5 ft. 120 lbs. So I'm bouncing her to get some airflow between our hot sticky bodies and Jenny starts moaning. I figure this is pure theatrics to get me to finish faster, and for once I'm not inclined to disagree as I really just wanna finish and cool off. I'm getting pretty close when all of a sudden she started smacking my shoulder and saying, "no, no, you stop! you stop!" Of course I was a bit shocked, and I stopped bouncing her. All of a sudden she grabs my head with both of her arms in a Ranger death grip and groaned like she'd been stabbed. Then she jumped up off of me and left the room. So I'm sitting there, shocked, and wondering what the hell just happened. Minutes tick by. I figure the session is definitely over and start to gather my clothes when Jenny walks back in wearing a towel and lugging a portable fan and a cup of water for me. She plugs the fan in, gives me the water, and then explained in halting Engrish that I was a bad boy for bouncing her and making her come (You bad boy! It too hot for you make me come. Me not want work afta dis!) Honestly I was relieved, as I thought I'd done something to hurt her and that she'd run to get some gangster security guy hiding in the back to kick my ass (I'm convinced all these places have them). Instead she took off the towel and asked how I wanted to be finished, and by this time I was more then willing to just accept a quick handy. Then she escorted me to the shower room and gave me a gratis post-session body wash while admonishing me not to ever do that again, as apparently it was unprofessional (How you know I come like that? You come back but no make me come anymore! It too hot for dat!).
Believe I'm not bragging, as I can honestly say that when I go to an AMP the girl's orgasm is low indeed on my list of priorities. I guess it was just one of those things that happens from time to time. I never did see Jenny again (or at least not that Jenny).
Anon,
Now that's what I call a job hazard. What a great story! See - it really does just throw you off your game when you have an orgasm at work.
CJ
My orgasms are also quite boring LOL...I'm quiet as a church mouse. As for having a problem letting others see your face when you cum is not entirely uncommon...my brother has admitted to this problem as well and will usually transition to doggie style in order to finish. I am apprehensive too but in a different way. I get so anxious that I often have difficulty cumming (will she think I look funny when I orgasm? Am I pleasing her etc.)...Its gotten so bad where the girl thinks its her fault that I don't come (I tell her it isn't which is the truth-I have this the worst with very hot women). Most of the time I have to be comfortable with the woman I am with to show the 'o' face.
There is a certain vulnerability involved when showing your 'o' face in the most intimate of encounters because in a way it signifies a loss of control and power (thats one of the reasons why some people don't like others to see them that way). It also might be the reason why girls like cj like seeing guys orgasm (that sense of power). I knew a girl who was with a muscular 6ft 1 200 lbs male (she was a petite woman 5ft tall-around 105-both were aquaintances of mine)-she confided in me and admitted she really enjoyed the fact that a little woman like herself had such power over a strong man like her boyfriend by making him cum so hard ("a guy who could break her in half if he wanted"-her words).
Sounds like CJ was in the moment when that happened and put her brain on autopilot. Could be the reason why she hasn't experienced something similar since because her brain gets in the way of completely enjoying it (I often have similar problems-of course I could be projecting). :)
I never thought about worrying to have the "O" face, I just try not to fart!
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