Saturday, April 12, 2008

Happy Endings - Or The Art of Closing the Deal

Hey guys!

I've been getting some interesting comments on the subject of Limp Dick in young guys. It looks like most of you believe it’s between meds/drugs and performance anxiety. Thank God none of you thought it was my fault!

Honestly, I couldn’t say one way or another what the reasons are. I mean, I’ve dated guys taking all sorts of drugs who had no problems whatsoever of getting it up. I’ve also dated guys with NO history of drug use who had arousal problems. Go figure. Heck, I once had a boyfriend who was model-hot. He could fuck all night, but had 1 problem – he couldn’t cum. He could get hard, but no orgasm. Talk about being cursed…

I have no proof if any of my customers are using drugs or stimulants or whatever, so I’m reluctant to point my finger. Know what I mean? Now performance anxiety?!?! There’s no performance to be anxious about! Remember, I’m being paid to do all the work here, and shooting a load ain’t exactly gonna impress me. So I don’t want to point my finger there either. All I can say for certain is that we’ve all started noticing it with the young guys just over the last year or 2.

Now I know it’s not my technique since I’ve been perfecting the Hand Release for years now. Come to think of it (no pun intended), I can truthfully claim that I have thousands of success stories! (pun fully intended there).

The secret is relaxation. If a customer is uptight or has the wrong attitude, I know we’re gonna have problems. Now if I guy WANTS to cum, he’ll have no problems. I would say that about 7 out of 10 customers look forward to their happy ending, and let me do my job. It’s those last 3 guys who give me trouble, and it’s usually because they want to prolong the end part.

So here for all the world to see, is the typical happy ending, as brought to you by CJ…

I keep an eye on the clock so I can wrap up the massage before the 5 minute mark. At this point, he’s usually on his back and I’m just finishing up his legs. I like to finish with the legs instead of the arms since it kinda builds up the excitement as I work closer and closer towards his crotch (also helps them to cum faster). I usually don’t say anything at this point - I’ll just oil up my hands and immediately apply them to his dick.

The oil is in a warmer, so there’s no shock to the guy. First I’ll work his cock up and down to get it nice and oily. Then I’ll start the gentle tugging to get him hard. The beginning is always the toughest since it’s like working with a wet pasta noodle. Now is when I start my talk…

“Close your eyes… Don’t talk... Relax - just think about these warm hands on you...”

Then I’ll usually keep quiet and see how they’re reacting. By now they’re usually hard and it’s much easier to maintain the up and down motion. I don’t do anything exotic like a twisting motion or anything since most guys can’t tell the difference with all that oil anyway.

Now those 3 guys out of 10 that I told you about – they’re the ones who want to stretch out their time by distracting themselves. Let me tell ya – some guys just will not shup up! They'll talk about stupid shit like the weather, traffic, books, movies, news, etc. Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve got a naked woman with YOUR cock in her hand, and you want to talk about the weather? When these guys start their shit, I quickly shush them up. I may not be able to keep them from thinking about baseball cards, but I can at least get them to shut up. The key here is to get them to focus their attention back on their dicks. And I can tell I’m succeeding when they start to get harder and begin that involuntary twitching thing they do.

At this point, I’ll usually cup their balls with my free hand. It’s important that you space these things out. It’s kinda like driving a manual transmission – You can’t shift up to the next gear until you’ve revved the engine up first. Same thing with the balls – you can’t cup them till the dicks nice and hard. Once it gets a little bit harder (or he starts moaning) you can start rubbing the balls gently.

I’ll check the clock again to see how we’re doing. If things are MOVING ALONG, and the guy has a good attitude, I’ll overlook the 5 minute thing. I can tell if a guy is genuinely trying to work with me and not take advantage, so giving a guy a few extra minutes works a lot better than reminding him he has 1 minute left before he has to resort to masturbation. Now you can always pay for extra time. We charge “$15 for 15 minutes (and Audrey gets the money). But that 15 minutes is gonna go to massage – not the hand release! And you have to ask for it BEFORE I get started on the happy ending - that $15 doesn't reset the jerk-off clock.

Now where were we… ah yes… Balls. So anyways, I’ll start working the balls between my fingers. Some guys may cum at this point. I’d say maybe half or so. If nothing changes in the hardness, breathing, or other signs after a minute, I’ll say “You can touch me if you want…”Just the statement alone is enough to bring out the heavy breather in most guys, and once they start squeezing my ass or cupping my breasts, I can count on them finishing in another minute.

After a minute of touching, if their breathing becomes rhythmic and they haven’t become super-hard yet, I’ll start with what I call the Naughty Talking:

“Come on baby…Cum for me. You like it when I work your cock? You like these hands stroking you? I just love to watch a man cum…”

I call this the Naughty Talking as opposed to the Dirty Talking. With the Dirty Talking, I’ll ask the guy to start picturing his cock in my mouth, or how I’m riding him up and down (always pick an image that works for when he’s on his back with his eyes closed - I learned this technique from Trina). I usually charge an extra $50 for this. That may sound crazy, but when a customer is 90% to orgasm, it’s amazing what they’ll do (or pay) to seal the deal. And don’t start assuming that I’m ripping these guys off – just remember that they’re getting the same high quality customer service everyone else gets – they just need that extra little KINK to get over the top.

To get to this point should take me about 5 minutes or so. If it’s just not happening, I’ll tell the guy sorry, but the time is up. Almost always they knew this was gonna happen, so I don’t feel too bad.

Now let’s summarize:

1st Gear - Baby Oil
2nd Gear - Relax
3rd gear - Jerk
4th gear - Balls
5th gear - Touch/Squeeze
6th gear - Dirty Talk

So there you have it... CJ's 6 steps towards a Happy Ending.

Now don't move... I'll get a towel.

CJ

17 comments:

AR said...

reading about your technique always gets me hard!

thanks cj..

;)

The Girl in the Mirror said...

So how long did it take you to figure out all of these tricks? I know by now you're a seasoned professional but there must have been a period of not really knowing what was up... so to speak.

Capsule said...

Question... Does this profession interfere with your personal life? I know you mentioned you don’t tell your BF’s what you do, but I’m more curious about how it affects the sex portion. I would assume you use these same tricks you’ve learned from the trade off the clock; so does it seem like bringing your work home with you? Or vice versa... say you stumble upon some new technique at home, would you share it with your clients, or does it remain between you and your BF?

I guess I’m just asking if the separation between personal and professional comes easy. You know, other than the universal:

“You’ve got 5 minutes until Oprah’s on, baby... After that you’re on your own!” :)

cj said...

Dear Girl and Capsule,

I was going to answer your questions here, but the answers just got more complicated recently. So I'm going to dedicate my next post to you guys. This topic deserves way more than 3 sentences!

CJ

Em Jay Peeeee said...

Yeah, let's here more about "cj at home."

Since it has become your day (or night) job, do you hate giving hand release to boyfriends?

Do you give them massages regularly? I imagine that they are always begging like little beeyotches for a massage from the pro.

Do you find yourself having to give less oral since you've perfected the art of the stroke-off? Or maybe you like giving oral to BF's?

Since you work with cocks, do you find yourself less interested in them in your personal life?

Inquiring minds wanna know!

Eric said...

Any guys ask you for nipple play? Their nipples, not yours. That gets me going if I'm feeling kind of "slow".

cj said...

Eric,

Yes, I get asked to do nipple play. I'll pinch and tweak them, but won't touch them with my mouth. And I'll only do it if asked. I don't charge extra for it since it's not really a big deal, and it helps some guys get off faster.

CJ

Drew said...

Hi CJ love the blog I've been reading it for a year... finally took the leap of faith, with your insightful stories, and had a pleasant time. Keep the stories coming...

Anonymous said...

What are your techniques with those that are, shall we say, "smaller"? Do they pose any problem to your work?

Anonymous said...

You really have it all figured out, eh? And yet they still don't get off on demand. What is THEIR fucking problem?! lol

Some perspective, about "relaxation", in particular, seems in order.

Customers know that getting a HJ is illegal. That cops watch places they want to raid from outside (photographing customers to make a case that it's not a parade of cripples and old ladies, but horny young men going in all day - and build probable cause, or at least suspicion). That the same cops can barge in at any second to catch people in the act. That acquaintances/GF/priest/mother may be about to pass/drive by right as we come in or get out.

I know that you live in Denial Land because you have never been busted, you know a couple of cops, and you think you're not doing anything "wrong" in your almost-legit "spa". But some read the papers.

That's for starters.

Then, there's the masseuse. She may be hot, have the equipment, and the technique down... but, is THAT really all?
Does she glance at the clock often (I swear, this is one of my pet peeves and a boner-killer)? Is the chemistry right or does she move away everytime we turn towards her, or look away with a bored expression on her face?
The few times I failed to perform, it was with a hot young thing. OTOH I've nailed a nasty ho on the rag and got real hard for some "mature" and/or average-looking ladies. They were human. They had warmth and patience.
I doubt than any would describe what they do as "up-down-repeat and pull balls if the guy takes time", if you catch my drift...

And then:

What in hell makes you believe that it is natural for a man to lay down to be touched by a stranger, be naked in front of her (while she's not), and then to have his package handled, regardless of how it feels physically?
It is a vulnerable position (why do you think that some guys want to keep their shoes on?). Do you realize that men are programmed and raised to be in control, not to be passive and be serviced (this is what women do)? Why do you think we do nervous small talk or try to touch? We're desperately trying to participate, to do SOMETHING.
"Is she a doctor? A nurse? A whore? Why am I naked? "Why is she telling me about all these rules?"
Don't you know that some people have hang ups about massages period, let alone massages with a surprise (WTF it's gonna be) at the end?

And then:

How many guys have asked about dicks on your blog?
"What's the biggest you've seen? How do you handle small ones? Are black guys really big? Do I need to shave? Do guys ever not get hard?", etc.
What's with the obsession with dicks, are they fucking gay?
NO! They're insecure. Who cares what the whore thinks, right? She sees 10 dicks a day. But no, we, and ESPECIALLY the young inexperienced bucks, the ones who DON'T normally have sexual problems, worry about the performance and what you think of it. It's inexperience.

After the initial discovery phase, if the guy doesn't turn away from massages, he becomes more and more comfortable, to the point that being naked IS a turn-on, and he gets a kick out of the girl seeing him pitch a tent. Some even get a perverse "rise" out of trying to "turn" a legit masseuse.

Now YOU are a self-professed 10-year pro with a flawless technique. A "Therapist". So where's the Goddamn compassion and understanding?
"5 minutes and you're on your own"?!
I can really see why you demand the tip upfront.

And keep ragging on Asians, too. You wouldn't want your readers to get a glimpse at THE OTHER WAY (there's some lame Asians, too, guys, to be honest, and some just don't get them... but it's NOTHING like what CJ claims).

Anonymous said...

You really have it all figured out, eh? And yet they still don't get off on demand. What is THEIR fucking problem?! lol

Some perspective, about "relaxation", in particular, seems in order.

Customers know that getting a HJ is illegal. That cops watch places they want to raid from outside (photographing customers to make a case that it's not a parade of cripples and old ladies, but horny young men going in all day - and build probable cause, or at least suspicion). That the same cops can barge in at any second to catch people in the act. That acquaintances/GF/priest/mother may be about to pass/drive by right as we come in or get out.

I know that you live in Denial Land because you have never been busted, you know a couple of cops, and you think you're not doing anything "wrong" in your almost-legit "spa". But some read the papers.

That's for starters.

Then, there's the masseuse. She may be hot, have the equipment, and the technique down... but, is THAT really all?
Does she glance at the clock often (I swear, this is one of my pet peeves and a boner-killer)? Is the chemistry right or does she move away everytime we turn towards her, or look away with a bored expression on her face?
The few times I failed to perform, it was with a hot young thing. OTOH I've nailed a nasty ho on the rag and got real hard for some "mature" and/or average-looking ladies. They were human. They had warmth and patience.
I doubt than any would describe what they do as "up-down-repeat and pull balls if the guy takes time", if you catch my drift...

And then:

What in hell makes you believe that it is natural for a man to lay down to be touched by a stranger, be naked in front of her (while she's not), and then to have his package handled, regardless of how it feels physically?
It is a vulnerable position (why do you think that some guys want to keep their shoes on?). Do you realize that men are programmed and raised to be in control, not to be passive and be serviced (this is what women do)? Why do you think we do nervous small talk or try to touch? We're desperately trying to participate, to do SOMETHING.
"Is she a doctor? A nurse? A whore? Why am I naked? "Why is she telling me about all these rules?"
Don't you know that some people have hang ups about massages period, let alone massages with a surprise (WTF it's gonna be) at the end?

And then:

How many guys have asked about dicks on your blog?
"What's the biggest you've seen? How do you handle small ones? Are black guys really big? Do I need to shave? Do guys ever not get hard?", etc.
What's with the obsession with dicks, are they fucking gay?
NO! They're insecure. Who cares what the whore thinks, right? She sees 10 dicks a day. But no, we, and ESPECIALLY the young inexperienced bucks, the ones who DON'T normally have sexual problems, worry about the performance and what you think of it. It's inexperience.

After the initial discovery phase, if the guy doesn't turn away from massages, he becomes more and more comfortable, to the point that being naked IS a turn-on, and he gets a kick out of the girl seeing him pitch a tent. Some even get a perverse "rise" out of trying to "turn" a legit masseuse.

Now YOU are a self-professed 10-year pro with a flawless technique. A "Therapist". So where's the Goddamn compassion and understanding?
"5 minutes and you're on your own"?!
I can really see why you demand the tip upfront.

And keep ragging on Asians, too. You wouldn't want your readers to get a glimpse at THE OTHER WAY (there's some lame Asians, too, guys, to be honest, and some just don't get them... but it's NOTHING like what CJ claims).

Anonymous said...

sounds very mechanical when you put it like that but when you're rubbing cocks for a living I can see how you would view it in mechanical steps...whatever works-how ever if guys actually knew what you were thinking alot less guys would get there happy ending-you must have the fake porn actress thing down. As a side note your previous boyfriend has what is called delayed ejaculation (where they can get hard but cant cum during sex)-There are varying degrees of severity (I have this problem too but I can sometimes cum if I am very comfortable with the person I am with).

MelissaBlade said...

Wow "Anonymous" clearly has some issues.

Great post, although I find all guys are a bit different so I like to ask. Some men like the head stroked as well and others find it unpleasant. Haven't tried the dirty talk yet. I'll give that a try. Thanks CJ!

CkretsGalore said...

Ok I have to ask you....do you just do your best to ignore your Anon comments? They irk the shit out of me!

Anonymous said...

You know ladies, that anon brought up some really good points. Being another inexperienced guy in this field, I can validate his concerns completely.

I'm convinced I'll enjoy the illegal Asians more... because they are much more natural, authentic.

I can't even begin to state how backwards Western women are, but the original article did a good job... Heh... is my 5 minutes up?

Mechanical is right!

This website provides some nice logistics. That's it. No soul, or right brained guidance... The intrinsic nurturing that all men crave, yet nearly every female has been tricked into abandoning....

Anonymous said...

i'm thinking of getting into this business, your tips help alot, thanks.

Buddha said...

Awesome. Oh... just sent you an email, too.

I need some advice.