Confessions of an Anonymous Masseuse

It's funny - I get a couple requests a week from you guys to see me in session. Some are as simple as "I'll be your way next Thursday. Can I see you around 1?" All the way up to "I know this is gonna sound weird, and you'll probably say no, but here goes anyway..."

One paticularly flattering guy said he was willing to drive 10 hours to see me! LOL Now if only I could get my old Regulars to get off their assess and do the same, I'd be happy. I thought one of the more unique requests was from a guy who wanted to visit with his girlfriend so she could "study" my infamous double-handed criss-cross technique (demonstrated on him of course). Now if your girlfriend is willing to take a lesson in handjobs - THAT is love.

Unfortunately, if I want to maintain this tell-all blog thing, then I can't see any one! And you know what - I think that totally sucks. You guys should all write your congressman and demand to make massage parlors legal. Stand up for your rights! (no pun intended).

Now before you all make up posters and T-shirts and chain yourself to City Hall, let me leave you with 1 last story. This was perhaps the most creative request ever to see me.

Imagine this...

You fly into Philly International Airport. At the curb, there is a limo waiting. The windows are blackened, and the chaffeur will not talk to you. He takes your bags and issues you into the car. During the drive, you have absolutely no idea where you are going. the twists and turns in the road reveal nothing. In fact, the limo may take a few unnecessary turns just to throw you off.

At last, the limo comes to a complete stop. For the first time, you hear the limo driver talk. He simply instructs you to put on a blindfold that is sitting on the seat in front of you. After it's snugly on, he finally comes around and lets you out of the car. You are escorted a few steps left, right and then straight. A door is opened and you hear a little electronic chime letting you that you have just entered "The Business."

A friendly female voice welcomes you and takes your hand. She leads you a few more steps into a room. You are instructed to keep the blindfold on as unfamiliar hands begin to undress you. When you are ready, you're led to a massage table, helped on and told to "make yourself comfortable."

You lean back and relax as she leaves. A few moments later, you hear the door open and close. Instead of a voice, you hear the soft rustle of fabric. There's a slight noise made as a shirt hits the floor. You hear the unmistakeable snap of a bra being undone. Then a zipper and more quiet noises as a pair of pants joins the shirt.

Finally, a different set of unfamiliar hands begins to softly caress your lower legs, and slowly work their way up to your head where they remove the blindfold.

"Hi, I'm CJ."

So, think that would work?

CJ