Everything You Wanted To Know About Erotic Massage But Were Afraid To Ask

I've been getting a lot of messages lately from guys who are new to the world of erotic massage. Well, welcome to my corner of the internet where I've been talking about all the secrets, tips, code words, and tricks of the trade!

A lot of you out there tell me you enjoy reading about my adventures, but haven't tried it themselves. Some guys are scared because they've never been around masseuses before while others are worried about getting arrested. And then there's the occasional guy worried about catching something. I can assure you guys that we are harmless, there's nothing to worry about, and you should JUST DO IT. I've been getting a lot of the same questions over and over, so maybe this is a good time to go over what I've taught you guys over the past year.

So let's review:

About Me
My name is CJ and I'm an Erotic Masseuse. I provide relaxing massages with a "Happy Ending" at my Business. I started this blog because it's fun to share all these wacky stories with everyone. And in order to do this, I have to remain anonymous and can't make appointments with any of you. Sorry! This hurts me more than it hurts you since I could really really really use the business right now.

The Index
The best thing you can do is to just start reading all this crap from the beginning. But for those of you who are lazy, or just in a hurry, you can quickly catch up on all the required reading. I guess you can treat this as an index of all the good stuff.

1) For those of you completely new to the world of the "Happy Ending" the best place to start is to click here to see what happens in a typical massage session.

2) For Massage Parlor lingo and terms, click here.

3) If you want to know how to identify a massage parlor in your area, click here.

4) Once you've found a place you want to visit, click here to learn proper massage parlor etiquette.

5) For those of you who are too afraid to visit a massage parlor, click Here, Here and Here.

6) Anyone who reads this mess regularly knows that I'm totally against the Asian Massage Parlors (AMPs). It's not because I'm a racist or anything, or that I just want to trash the competition. It's just that most of the asian places around here are tied to organized crime and the girls who work there are pretty much trapped there. Click here for the full story.

7) If I still haven't convinced you yet to try an erotic massage, but would like to work your way up starting with a regular therapeutic massage, click here.

8) Now for the rest of you who ended up here by accident, Click here if you want to escape quickly before your company figures out what you're doing and fire your perverted ass.

So far the funniest case of being in the wrong place is the girl who wrote me asking if she could "contribute" something to this blog. I figured she's a colleague out there just wanting to share a couple kinky stories. Nope - turns out she's a sports massage therapist looking to practice her writing skills. I guess she did a google search for "massage therapy" and wrote to everyone who popped up. I said "Honey, unless you're jerking off the lacrosse team, I think you're in the wrong place." I haven't heard back from her since.

OK, start your reading - I'll wait.

Done? To all the newbies out there - feel free to leave comments on the old stuff. I get to see all of them and will gladly answer your questions.

Welcome everyone! So get comfortable, lie back and relax. Your CJ will take care of you. And remember - I work for tips.

CJ