Freak of the Week - Me

Hey guys. I know it's been a while. Since I've gone independent, it's not that I'm busier - in fact it's quite the opposite. It's just that things have kinda moved in a direction I wasn't expecting and I really didn't want to talk about it.

But this whole blog thing is supposed to be about me "confessing," right? Well, confessing about what customers do is one thing, but confessing about what I do is something else.

And that has been the problem lately.

You see, I've always gotten a kick outta telling stories about the guys that came into The Business. And as far as I was concerned, it was never really about me since I pretty much did what I always do:

1) Take off clothes
2) Massage
3) Happy Ending

It was the customers that would mix it up and make things interesting. Now that I'm not at The Business anymore, the dynamic has changed. I no longer have to follow my script, watch a clock, or obey Audrey's rules. In fact, whatever happens between 2 consenting adults in a room all by themselves is perfectly OK - right?

And this is the problem I've been having lately. My outcall sessions have become less like erotic massage and more like (for lack of a better word) dates. And if that sounds creepy it's because it is. I mean it's fine when a session is pure business (see steps 1-3 above), but when a personal component gets added, it can be uncomfortable (i.e. "I brought a bottle of wine...").

A couple of times now, the guys have combined dinner with their sessions. Now don't get me wrong - I love Olive Garden as much as the next girl - but it starts to get awkward when I have to make another excuse to Derek WHY I'm busy again at night, and WHY I smell like garlic.

And that's another thing - my schedule has become mostly a night one. At The Business, we got all the walk-ins during the day between the truckers, traveling salesmen, and the lunch crowd. With my best Regulars, it's local guys who have had the ability to see me on a routine basis. And hotel rooms are much easier to get in the afternoons than the mornings...

Then there's the sessions themselves. When there's no more clock watching, the guys want to take their sweet time getting started. I don't mind small talk, but get those damn clothes off and let's get to business! And even the most straightlaced of the bunch now wants me to do a striptease, or put on some lingerie, or whatever - stuff they never asked for at The Business.

And finally, there are the cuddlers. Right after their happy ending, they want to just "...cuddle for a minute." Well, on a massage table that's just damn impossible. But on outcall it's always a bed we're on. And cuddling on a bed is just really really uncomfortable with a customer. But the saving grace is that the guys are already spent and aren't in any condition to start any monkey business.

So there you have it. Since quitting The Business and going independent, I'm slowly turning into the escort equivalent of your girlfriend in 9th grade - you get to touch a boob and get a handjob.