I just wanted to give you guys a quck update on what's going on with Sugar Daddy Pete (SDP).
I am kinda surprised at the amount of comments I got over this one. But what really surprised me is how supportive most of you are for me to actually fuck him for money. Honestly, I didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted by that!!!
It's funny, a couple years ago there would never have even been a debate over this. I was younger, I was rolling in cash, and Sugar Daddies were a dime a dozen. Today business sucks, I know I'm getting older, and I'm lucky to have a customer who tips extra. Ugh.
Well, I bring all this up because SDP called me today and we have a "date" for Friday (my day off). And since all your advice was rattling around my head all weekend, I actually told him up front that he's not getting laid. That's right... I said it straight up. I know how the Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship works, and I'm not going to let him set the rules. He seemed OK with it over the phone.
Now here is the part where I confess what really happened.
When I had him on the phone he kinda hinted at getting a room on Friday, and that's when I gave him my I Don't Roll Like That speech. However, I was really nervous after I laid down the law, so I followed it up with something wishy-washy like "I need to get to know you first..." In other words, it totally sounds like I'm leaving the door open.
I never realized that negotiating for no sex could be so hard!
CJ
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13 comments:
That was smart on your part to leave things open like that. Now you can go out with him and have a good time. And, in the future, things can progress naturally. In other words, you're free to do what feels right to you, after that. I can't wait to hear how things go on Friday.
AJ
all i have to say is we'd BETTER hear about friday girl! don't have too much fun!
Good. Your way, your rules. Whatever it may be.
And SD may be a bit more scarce but they are always around.
i agree with the rest that you seemed to do well in your conversation with him on setting down rules. i wish you the best.
I bet he's confused as heck now! And also maybe turned on. You told him "no" but didn't slam the door completely shut. That always gets my juices flowing...
Hmmm, now I'm wondering what would happen if you did sleep with the guy. Would it be just like he was your boyfriend or would you act as though it was an escalation of the erotic massage act? I imagine there is a difference.
Would it be all about his pleasure or would he have to go downtown on you? Would there be cuddling afterwards?
hmmmm. I don't know. Is it just me, or does all this talk about "no sex" actually make sex inevitable?
I cannot wait to hear what happens:) I hope you post this weekend.
Oh, and I'd probably end up doing him;)
Hey Guys,
Just a quick update to the update...
I could lie to all of you on Monday and just CLAIM that I did it. After all, that would be the exciting conclusion to all this buildup and drama, right?
Well, chances are I'll be a good girl, but we'll see. My real life just doesn't seem to be as dramatic and exciting as all those movies on Lifetime I keep watching...
CJ
MJP,
I've never actually had sex with any of my Sugar Daddies, so I couldn't say.
The closest comparison would be my guy friends who see me personally and professionally. Most guys can't handle it, and even I admit it gets weird to point where I have to end it. But some of my best friends have been customers.
I guess it's all in your attitude and whether you have ulterior motives or not.
CJ
I think you ought to stick to your guns on this one CJ. There is a reason that you are losing sleep (well not literally but you know what I mean) over this. Crossing this line is a huge deal. I can say with the upmost certainty that you will regret it if you fuck this guy and take his money.
His being married makes it twice as evil.
..to add to my above comment, I just found your blog and I love the way you write. It's been really cool to get inside your head. I figured i'd throw in my two cents on the topic at hand. Reading the comments can help.. but you probably already knew what to do before you even wrote the blog. Regardless; keep us updated hon ;)
There are really only two ways to approach a sugar daddy/sugar daddy light situation. Honestly and dishonestly.
If you are talking about going out and dinners, etc, that isn't SB/SBL, that's dating or friendly hanging out. If the guy is handing you money, or "helping" you with bills or taking you out for expensive shopping trips THAT is SD/SDL scenario.
Now if the guy is being honest and has let you know upfront what he wants for that kind of "help" then the only way he is participating in it is if you've led him to believe there is a good chance he is going to get it.
So you've entered into an understanding of sorts. So you either do the honest thing and complete the agreement on your end or you do the dishonest thing and you don't.
If you decide on the latter your are practicing the "dry hustle", as it is known in the game. You've gone from being a sugar baby to being on the grift. It is what it is and you do what you do but I'll suggest to you, as someone whose been on so many sides of the sex industry for way too many years, you can fool the clients if that is the way you choose but its never good to fool yourself.
And a PS so that there are no mistakes about what I mean. There is no judgment in my game and I'm not judging you here. All I am noting is that in reading your otherwise very interesting blog I've noticed a tendency to rationalize from time to time. Like when comment in this article about "not doing any thing whoreish". Lovely Lady, you are going the guy a hand-job for money. Society, nor the law, makes no distinction between hand-jobs and/or blow-jobs and full service provided in exchange for cash. It's all prostitution. I pay women for sex. I'm a monger. It works the same the other way around. I don't pretend to myself its anything other than what it is.
So you have already done acts of paid for sex with this man. He's either asking you out because he enjoys your company or he's asking you out because he is trying to take the paid for sex to another level. Your comments seem to indicate you think it is the latter.
All I am suggesting, with the above, is that you not play any games with yourself and decide what you want to do about it. Either way is fine but OWN it.
I wish you well.
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