Tales of an Erotic Blogger

Hey guys. Sorry that I disappeared again, but I was dealing with a lot of bullshit around here, not the least of which was the pain in the ass this blog has become. Not that I hate sharing stories or anything, but a reader turned me on to something that really got to me. Apparently, someone has (or rather had) been reposting my entire blog as their own website. I won't go into details since I don't want to give them any more attention than they deserve, but let's just say that when I saw it for myself I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I cried for like 2 days before I calmed down and figured out what to do.

I contacted my Techno-nerd Velma. She's a computer geek, so she figured out what to do. So a big Thank You to her and and an even bigger Thank You to the guy who originally emailed me about it. You know who you are!

I was pretty upset about the whole thing, but it's not the first time someone has tried to scam me concerning this blog. Apart from all the guys who've been trying to set up an appointment with me, there are some strange people out there that have gone to great length to try to fuck with me.

At first I was naive enough to fall for some of this shit. It was mostly guys just asking where I was located. But when I refused to give out that info, guys started to ask if there was anyone local I would recommend. I fell for that at first, and a few guys actually figured out where I was just by the process of elimination.

So now my policy is not to mention ANY parlors. Even the one owned by my girlfriend up north! Which is a damn shame because we could both use the business. But then I got a few offers from guys who wanted to do business with me. The most common was the offer of "Consultant" to some imaginary "Producer" who was working on some project about the inside world of massage parlors. But I think the most creative idea was for me to travel the country and perform my craft in various massage parlors around the country - or as I liked to call it, committing a misdemeanor on camera in multiple states.

Now one scam that I did fall for was a phony magazine interview. I have done a few interviews with people who have contacted me personally, the most famous of which was the disastrous Playboy Radio interview. So when this young lady contacted me from a very real magazine asking me if I'd chat with her about The Business, it was nothing unusual. She more or less proved that she was legitimate - in that she really was calling from the offices of a real publication. So I gladly called her for a little chat.

It was the usual stuff at first, "How long have you done this?" "Do you like it?" "What's the typical stuff that you do?" Etc... But then the questions changed.

"Do you see married men?" "Have you ever been confronted by a wife?" "Are you OK with what you do?" And my personal favorite... "Don't you know you ruin families?" Not that this last one was really a question, but I appreciated her sentiment. She wasn't asking me questions about The Business, she was trying to figure out if her husband was cheating on her.

From the general gist of her questions, I determined the answer was yes. I didn't tell her.

CJ

Close Call

Hey Guys. Sorry I haven't been around lately but things just got crazy after the whole Playboy interview thing.

As you may have noticed, I took down the links to the interview. I had to - Who on Earth would have guessed how many people listen to that show on Playboy Radio???? After I did the show last Thursday, I spent the weekend confessing (or denying as the case may be) to friends that I was on the radio.

So after a week of dealing with the fallout, I regret to announce that I will not be returning to the radio any time soon. Sorry!!! I made the final decision yesterday after a guy who I've been flirting with called me up and said "Hey... there was this chick on the satellite that sounded just like you..."

Yikes. Too close to home. WAYYYY too close.

And to make things more stressful, Audrey had some sort of family emergency last week and abruptly announced that she'll be out of town for the next month, and I'm in charge. Good news is I don't have to stare at her or put up with her bullshit for a couple weeks. Bad news is that we all have to cover her shifts.

Normally I wouldn't mind inheriting the extra business, but the problem is that Audrey's customers are notoriously cheap (and used to having their way with her). And to make it worse, I discovered just recently that she slashed her prices WITHOUT telling us. Great - now I have a whole month to deal with her cheap ass customers demanding happyendings at bargain basement prices.

But enough of my bitching. Since I've been slack at updating lately, I'll make it up to you guys by FINALLY getting around to answering all your questions and comments from the last 2 weeks.

So come on down guys! This month, all handjobs are $20 off. Just use the password "Audrey sent me."

CJ

Look Ma - I'm On The Radio!

OMG - I'm soooooooo sorry guys that I didn't give you any heads up about the whole Playboy interview thing. Everything happened so quickly that by the time I realized it was for real, I barely had enough time to mention it here.

My head is still spinning! So let me take a deep breath and tell you what happened...

OK, a couple days ago I got contacted by a woman claiming to be from Playboy Radio. I say "claiming" because I've been contacted by other people before with all sorts of weird offers. One of them was some guy claiming to represent Playboy's "Hottest Butt" contest and he wanted me to talk about it on this site. So needless to say, I'm always suspicious of anyone offering anything.

Since it was a woman who contacted me, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Turns out she was the real deal and wanted me to be interviewed on her show!!! I was in shock! I mean, it's exciting to be asked to talk on the radio, but it's also scary because I still need to stay anonymous. So we did a back and forth for a couple days before I worked up the courage to do it.

Funny thing is that I was too worked up over the interview to remember that it's exactly the kinda thing I should be talking about on the blog. Whoops. So I left a quick post and before I knew it - I was hiding in my car in the parking lot behind The Business pretending to be on a VERY long cigarette break. I figured that was easier to believe than "I need 10 minutes to reveal all our dirty little secrets nationwide on satellite radio." They asked I come on next week to actually tell some stories, so I'll probably do it again.

So what did you guys think? Can I turn this into a weekly appearance on the Today show?

CJ