How To Get Free Handjobs - And Other Things I Shouldn't Be Telling You

Sometimes I forget that this is supposed to be a "confessions" thing, but lately the topics have been rather uncomfortable for me. I really hate talking about the legal stuff - as you can tell. I really don't want to turn this into a debate over what we can and can't get away with. Let's just say that all of the stuff that me and fellow masseuses have done over all these years - well, we've gotten away with it. So let's just leave it at that.

Now last time I mentioned how I used to give away happy endings. Well, it was at the first Business I worked at, and I had to put up with it for about a year and a half. But don't bother looking for it now - it's long gone. Like a lot of places, it eventually switched over to full service and closed down. I left way before that happened.

Ya wanna know how many guys I jerked off for free during that first year - too many to count! If you remember, that place was owned by two women I affectionately called Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dawn. They figured that mandatory happy endings were a little legal loophole - after all, it's not prostitution if I give it to you for free! This was one of those "obvious" massage parlors. I mean, it didn't even try to look like a day spa or anything. At that time the place was partly full-service (except for good girls like me). Not that it was supposed to be - but some girls were breaking the rules big time.

This was the deal... The house pocketed all the "massage" money at the door. The only $$ we made were off the options in the room. I think back in those days we charged $40 for topless, $60 for G-string, $80 for nude and $100 for mutual. Then there was the "no options" option - which was a straight massage where I kept all my clothes on, but I still had to give a happy ending!

Now that I think about it, I'd say about half my customers back then were the "no option" cheapskates. How on Earth did we put up with it you ask? Well, the paying customers more than made up for it. But after a couple months of free handjobs, I started to bitch to the other girls and eventually we came up with a plan. We started asking for a $20 "tip" for the massages up front.

This plan was implemented with mixed results. Some guys told us to go fuck ourselves, while most just gave in. Then there were a few who "tipped" us a dollar or 2 - just to piss us off. They were still getting their happy ending, but NOW it was starting to make us angry. So we all finally complained to Dee and Dawn and they agreed to let us stop with the mandatory HJs.

But before you guys start accusing me of false advertising, I will let you know right now that there are still businesses out there that give it up for free. In fact, one of the full-service Businesses across town still offers handjobs for a $5 massage tip (but their girls are all skanks and not nearly as nice as us!). But I try not to mention that little tidbit in front of OUR customers.

So that's your tip of the day - if you're willing to give up a nice view of a half naked masseuse, you may get a freebee out of it. Wait to see what options they offer then go for none (or the cheapest). There's a pretty good chance that your masseuse will make your day - Just because she wants to! LOL

CJ