Thursday, June 26, 2008

CJ Comes Over to the Dark Side - Part 1 - My First Customer

Well after much soul searching, I decided to finally share the tale of how I got into this strange business. It wasn't exactly a fairy princess story, but what the heck, it paid the bills - fabulously.

Ya see, after I graduated high school, I got a few odd jobs at first. Looked into a few jobs including Nurses Aid (image me as a nurse!). Then I heard about the program for licensed massage therapy and decided to sign up.

First job was at an upscale day spa downtown. You'd think the job would be sweet, but let me tell ya about those rich bitches. A bunch of no tipping, cheap asses. They always remembered to tip the girl who did the nails or hair, but us masseuses they always forgot. To make matters worse, I had to put in 24 hours per week AND be on-call for another 24. Back then a typical session was about $60 to the house and tips were optional. Well since no one tipped me, all I got was $20 per massage plus $6 per hour whenever I was in the spa. And I got NO money for being on call. It wouldn't have been so bad, except that I averaged about 3 sessions per week. Talk about a disappointing job. I remember once thinking that the Shampooer had a better job than me - and that's why today I tell strangers that I'm a Shampooer at a day spa!

At this time I had a friend named Greg who I used to party with. Well, I used to notice how his wife Rita always had new clothes, and was quick to pick up the tab. I'm not the kind to be jealous of anyone, so I never asked any questions about what she did for a living. Then one night at Greg's I was talking with Rita and she asked me what I did for a living. When I told her I was a LMT (Licensed Massage Therapist) but didn't care much for it, her eyes got big and she said "Girl, have I got a job for you. I'm a masseuse too!"

But for some reason I thought there was something funny about the way she said it. I asked her where she worked, and she said it was across town at a place I had never heard of. She said they gave "relaxing massages" with "options." I think I gave her a weird look (remember - I went to school for this) when she explained that she did these massages only for men, while topless or wearing a G-string.

Let me tell ya - I looked at her like there was a horn growing out of the middle of her forehead. She noticed and laughed. "It's not that bad! I get about $40 to $80 per massage. Here - I want you to come with me to work tomorrow."

And that was the very first time I had ever heard of an erotic massage. I had no idea what to make of the idea of getting topless in front of strangers, but that amount of money per massage was just crazy. At that time I was living with a psycho boyfriend and any money to get me out of that shithole was welcome, so looking back I think I just kinda stopped asking questions because I could quadruple my income overnight.

The next day I went with Rita to her business, which was owned by two women who we would later affectionately refer to as "Tweedle-Dee" and "Tweedle-Dawn." They seemed nice enough and were very impressed with the fact that I had my LMT license. I was hired on the spot and told to get ready to take my first customer.

Now lets pause here and reflect over what has just happened (because I've gone over this in my mind a hundred times since then). What I've written here is pretty much EXACTLY what was discussed with me before I got hired. Now let us continue with this exciting story...

This guy shows up who's friends with the owners. They tell me to take him in session, so I lead him into one of the rooms. This guy (we'll call Mister) starts looking me up and down, telling me how beautiful I am and that he'll take a "nude with mutual."

Nude? NUDE? No one said nude!

"Hey mister - you wanna get me fired! I can't get naked! I can take my top off but that's it!" I was so scared about getting fired on my first client that I completely forgot that I could also take the pants off. He kinda giggled and said it was fine then. It was a little surprising how easily I took my shirt off in front of a stranger. I just figured that the room is dark, he's lying face down, and my boyfriend will NEVER KNOW.

He took the hour, so I started doing a complete therapeutic. I tried to ignore the fact that he did NOT wrap the towel around him. He was pleasantly surprised at how good I was and kept telling me so. I had never heard anyone enjoy my work that much before. The old Rich Bitches never said anything except "you're doing it too hard" or "it hurts when you do that." I have to admit it was kinda flattering, especially since I rarely ever had a male client before.

He flips over and I start on his pecs, once again trying really hard to ignore the fact that he's NOT wearing the towel. I work down to mid torso then jump straight to his legs, but before I can continue he looks at the clock and says "Now it's your turn."

"My turn for what?" I really had no clue what he just meant.

"I wanted a mutual. Remember?" He was being patient. I asked him what a mutual was. "uh... that's where I get to massage you."

"What?! You can't do that! I told you mister, that's against the rules and I don't want to get fired" I said angrily. I think he realized I was serious, so he said I could just finish up then. So I went back to his legs and started working them again. I had to go quickly since his 45 minutes were almost up.

I notice now that he's fidgeting, and then finally he sits up and asks "what about the ending?" in an annoyed tone. I told him I was almost done and he said, "... no. I mean the hand job."


????!!!! ???!!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!! ?


I can't really describe with words what I was thinking at that moment. I was shocked, offended, scared and confused all at the same time. That was it for me. I yelled "I'm not doing that!" Then I threw my shirt back on - oily hands and all - grabbed my bra and bolted out the door. I went straight to the office and explained that I was just taken advantage of by that "friend" of theirs and that none of it was my fault - "Please don't fire me!"

But all they did was laugh. This really threw me. I felt like I was Alice and this was Wonderland. What kind of place was this???? Naked men? Naked Masseuses? Handjobs??? Remember - I was a young, naive and just out of high school. I had no idea what a "massage parlor" was.

When they were done laughing, they told me not to worry and they would take care of it. Dee went to see Mister to explain that I was a newbie. A few minutes later, she comes back and says "Everything's cool. Here - this is for you." Then Dee hands me $100 in cash. "That's your tip." My eyes bugged out - I had weekly paychecks that were less than that. To Dawn she said "He thought she was sweet, but we have to talk to her."

This is when someone finally explained to me what "Erotic Massage" REALLY meant. And my life hasn't bee the same since.

And that ends Part 1 of my so called "first time." Unfortunately, this is the nice part of the story. Part 2 is going to be harder for me to tell.



Anonymous said...

CJ-- you are a great story teller. I've been hooked after first reading your blog several months ago. I've always preferred "non fiction" in my reading and yours is compelling. I've had a very vanilla life and it is a kick reading insights into other's lives that are more varied and interesting. You've piqued my curiosity with this post and I'll anxiously await your next. Take care and be safe. Best, David

ez cheese said...

I would give you a $100 tip simply to see the look on your face when he said, "What about the handjob?" Seriously...that shit is funny.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you were hazed. That guy probably gets off on breaking in the newbies.

Historical Wit said...

second the ez cheese. That shit is funny. Great write. Keep this up and you will be an author and ex-massage dudette.

Medic said...

This is the best post of yours I've read so far. Very interesting (and funny).

leebee said...

Aw! You were such an innocent newbie! Too cute! :P

Sean said...

I agree with the other comments - you're a great storyteller.

Anonymous said...

This was great stuff! I can't wait to read part 2.

Unbroken said...

That was an outrageous story! You tell it so well that it's easy to picture the entire episode. Looking forward to more!

Marius said...

buahaha... and boom goes the dynamite..Great Story!

Anonymous said...

Lol while in line at bestbuy. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Wow... For the first time reading this blog, I felt bad for you.

I hope you can find it in yourself, then, to imagine how curious men who only have vague notions of what goes on in parlors, feel on their first visit.
Some of us are either very young, or have been divorced/widowed for a long time... all inexperienced or rusty. And horniness is not the only thing that brings us into your kinda place.
It is not THAT natural, even for us guys (we're not all pigs!) to get naked in front of a stranger or to let them service us (we're used to doing the work).

My first HJ took me by surprise - I thought I was in a legit place, and so did my first FS - I thought I was only going to get a HJ. Nice surprise in both cases, but the girls probably thought I was a little goofy. As the second one was sliding down to get me inside her, I remember thinking, "Holy shit, I can't believe this is happening!"

So here's to hoping that you can flashback to your rookie days next time you're tempted to call a customer a retard or a freak.

Rottie said...

Nice, honest story CJ. That part 1. Everything's really what would happen to a newbie. When's Part 2 coming up?

I'm also a newbie in this site, and a new fan of yours!