Confessions of an Erotic Fag Hag

I got a lot of interesting responses from you guys about identifying massage parlors. That Craigslist ad is a perfect example of what I was talking about. It was one of those that does a good job of saying it without saying it. Know what I mean?

What really clues you in are the photos. Posting a Glamour Shot is one thing, but bending over and showing cleavage? That's not for Grandma's benefit.

Now the big red flag for me was the phrase "draping optional." I've heard of this technique used by independent erotic masseuses. Basically it's her code word for happy ending. If you ask for "draping" (a towel wrapped around your waist) you're looking for a therapeutic massage only. If you decline the drape (letting it all hang out) then she opens the door to a world of sensual delights...

A legit masseuse would never offer you a draping option. Believe me - she doesn't need to see your junk to do her job. In fact, the various techniques to keep you covered are part of our training. There are even some massage styles that have the body being completely covered except for the specific region that's being massaged.

But what I really wanted to talk about today is our gay customers. We're in a small town out in the suburbs so there's no visible "gay community" to speak of. You really have to be in Philly before you'll see anyone who's out of the closet.

In other words, everyone is pretty closeted out here. There are parlors that cater to gay men, but you have to be in the city to find one. So out here in the boondocks, what are you gonna do if you're a gay man and you really really really want a professional handjob? You go to the nearest source of professional handjob givers - the local massage parlor!

Think of it this way... If you're a guy and you really needed a sports massage, you'd probably turn to a masseur because he's an expert at what he does and men tend to be better at sports massage because of the techniques it requires.

Same thing applies to handjobs. Each of us girls here at The Business have our own little group of gay Regulars. None of mine have ever made "Freak of the Week" because they never ask for anything weird. Remember my FOTW - Tony and Tina? Even that guy was straight - he just enjoyed wearing women's clothing.

Some of my gay customers take a fully clothed option with happy ending because they have no interest in the view. But believe it or not, most take either a topless or G-string. Most common answer? They love the look of the female body. They never touch me, but they do enjoy looking. Go figure.

I like the gay customers because they're always respectful, tip well, and usually great conversation. I would even go so far as to say the most business like. They never have issues about what we will or won't do. They never try to haggle over price. And the nicest thing of all is they never grab your ass or pester you for full service.

Customer wants a 30 minute topless session, doesn't pinch me, and compliments my hair? - gay guy.

Customer wants a 30 minute nude session while wearing an adult diaper and calling me "mommy," THEN tries to shortchange me? - straight guy.

You can call me a Fag Hag any day.

CJ