Urban Legends

My previous topic got me thinking about other stories that float around the local businesses. We have our own set of local gossip and urban legends, so I thought I'd share them here since it's the kind of stuff that you'll never see on the internet (until now).

The Undercover Cop
This is more of a scam than an urban legend. Rumor has it that some guy has been going around pretending to be a cop in order to get out of paying for his sessions. The scam goes something like this...

He shows up at the front desk talking on his cell phone and acting all serious. In the room, he may pretend to be on his phone again. He doesn't put the money down first (scam artists NEVER do). Then immediately after the happy ending, he puts on a convincing show about how he's a cop, but he really really doesn't want to arrest you because you're such a "good girl." So after the masseuse is scared to death, he gives her a warning, then takes off without paying.

Hasn't happened to me, but I've heard it more than a few times lately. Remember ladies - ALWAYS take the money up front.

The Millionaire
Anna Nicole Smith is the patron saint of all strippers. She lived the dancers dream of actually marrying a rich customer. Well, we have an urban legend like her around here.

Supposedly there was a girl at a local business that had a millionaire as a Regular. I didn't know her (of course), and the story is always told by a friend of a friend of a friend who knows it's true.

Local wealthy guy goes to a massage parlor out of loneliness and falls in love with his masseuse. He makes an honest woman out of her, and now she's a local socialite hosting tea parties and running his massive business empire.

I call bullshit on this one. Now I'm sure there's some local businessman who has a wife who used to be an erotic masseuse, but that's probably where the story ends. But with each telling he gets richer and richer and she becomes fancier and fancier. The truth is probably closer to Gas Station Owner Knocks Up and Marries Local Masseuse. Occasionally she runs the cash register.

The Divorced Guy
A guy going through a messy divorce goes around town giving away all of his wife's jewelry to masseuses and escorts. Now this is a story that I think is true because it happened to a friend of mine.

Apparently a local guy discovered that his wife had been cheating on him, so they split. The divorce gets so ugly that the guy decides to take his revenge by taking all of her jewelry and then going on a happy ending spree.

The story is that he would take a session, but instead of paying in cash he would offer some super expensive bit of his wife's jewelry. I worked with a girl at the Old Business who got a pair of diamond earrings from this guy - that's why I know it really happened. Rumor has it he did this all over town and managed to clean out his wife of thousands of dollars worth of gold and gems.

OK - it's true that my friend got a pair of earrings from a customer. BUT let me tell you what I think really happened.

I think some local got hold of a large stash of cheap-ass costume jewelry. Then he came up with a convincing sob-story about where it came from and why he wants to unload it. And in the dim lighting of a session room, I'm sure any $10 trinket looks like a thousand bucks.

I never saw the earrings in question, but I'm sure they looked great in the dark. Heck, even I have a collection of jewelry I've gotten from customers. The difference is I won't take it as a tip.

So those are some of the best stories we tell each other after a hard day at work over a few drinks. Sometime after the 3rd shot the conversation always goes like "Didya hear about Candy...? You're not gonna believe this, BUT..."

And now that you've all read this on the internet it has to be true!

CJ