Decisions, decisions...

I've been in a weird mood lately (in case you haven't noticed). Things at work are stressful as usual. And to make matters worse, Audrey has gotten bitchier and bitchier.

It got so bad that we actually had it out a couple weeks ago. On this particular day, she managed to steal 2 customers from me just by walking up to the front desk and saying "I got this one" as I'm booking them in. The first time she did it, I chalked it up to her just being an asshole as usual and taking the first customer of the day. But the SECOND time she did it, my jaw dropped open in disbelief. She couldn't have offended me more if she had just slapped me in the face.

I was seeing red for half an hour while she was in session. When she came out I waited for her in the office and practically took her head off, I was so mad. We literally screamed at each other for about 10 minutes. Afterwards, she took off for lunch by herself - her way of saying "you can go next." What a sweet lady, huh?

Anyway, I was bitching about this (as usual) to a friend of mine who owns a Business, and "Sheila" said I should come work for her. This is nothing unusual. She offers me work all the time, and over the last couple of years I've actually worked a couple shifts with her - just as a favor.

But this time it was different. Sheila said she could really use an LMT on staff, and their business has been booming over the last 3 months. The problem though, is that her place is full service. She insists that's not a problem since about half their clients are handjob only. Also, her place is about 90 minutes from home, and my current commute is less than 30.

I told her I'd have to think about it, but I would definitely give it a real consideration this time. What I didn't say to her is that personally I think her Business is filthy, and the girls are all trashy. I know that sounds like the pot calling the kettle black - BUT, The Business is spotless and the girls don't look like they walked in off the streets (except for Cindy - LOL).

To be honest, Sheila's place looks and smells and feels like a brothel. Look - I love her to death, don't get me wrong. I would even help her out in a pinch if she needed some extra help covering shifts. But I don't know how I'd feel driving to that dump every day.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I'm only good in a car for an hour TOPS. My definition of "outer space" is anything more than 60 minutes from my house.

We talked numbers for a few minutes, and it may or may not be better than what I'm doing here. I don't know. Not being FS in a FS place has it's good and bad points - the worst one being the pressure to go FS for better money. However, the good thing is that you get an instant clientele - guys who don't want FS. So it's a toss up (no pun intended).

So that's the dilemma I'm facing now. Of course it doesn't help any that business has been building up towards the Mother Of All Massage Weekends - Thanksgiving. That week alone is worth sticking around this hell hole.

I think next week I'll go over all the things you guys need to know to get around a massage parlor. I need all of you out there to help our economy and go support your local masseuses over Thanksgiving weekend.

Who knows - the job you end up saving may be mine!

CJ

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

I had a client last week who made a comment about how I should write a book about all the wacky stuff that happens around here. This guy, Ken, thinks he's a super freak because he asked me to spank him.

Not while he had a dildo shoved up his ass.
Not while choking on a used G-string.
Not while calling me "mommy."
And I wasn't even wearing a rubber nazi officer uniform.

He just wanted to be spanked before the happy ending. That was it. Just a spanking. And yet the way he was carrying on, he thought he was a bona fide porn star. "Oh yeah... I like it kinky. I bet you don't get requests like THIS every day."

Dude - you don't even know the half of it.

I didn't say anything because I really didn't want to burst his bubble. If it will make him happy, I'll let him think he rocked my world. "No Ken... You are a WILD MAN!"

I guess this is the sort of thing that happens when you have a midlife crisis. I can only assume that the missionary position is all he gets at home. If that's the case, then a little spanking is pretty crazy for him. Oh well.

I'm not knocking Ken. I'm just saying that I've seen some pretty strange things in my time. Some things around here are just so odd that I doubt that many of you guys out there would even believe them.

Now I have what I call my "A material." Most of that stuff I've shared with you guys here. Stories of sugar daddies, guys in womens underwear, unusual happy endings - stuff like that. Things have been so boring around here lately, that I usually try to share a funny tidbit as soon as I've wiped the cum up and shown the guy to the door.

Then there's the really weird stuff. Stories that are so strange that I've only shared them with other masseuses. And when I do, I get only 2 responses. Either "yeah right." or "Holy Shit - I heard about that guy." So I find it funny when someone says I made something up. All I can say to them is if you can't believe any of this shit, then you ain't seen nothing yet.

I'm sure one of these days I'll get daring enough to try to do these stories justice, but until then you'll have to put up with the boring day-to-day crap going on around here.

Take yesterday for example. No one came in. Well, one guy did and he wanted to see Trina. Since I was working with Audrey, he was outta luck. So he went out and came back with a box of donuts and one of those cardboard containers filled with coffee! We may not have had a single customer that shift, but we went home happy - buzzing on caffeine and sugar.

Now THAT is a true tale from the massage parlor.

CJ

The Search For CJ

I get about half a dozen e-mails each week from guys claiming they've "found" me - or at least asking if I was the masseuse they had 3 years ago ("Remember me - I was the tall thin guy wearing a Yankee's ball cap?"). As you all know by now, I need my privacy in order to write anything interesting so I can't afford to see anyone who reads this. It's a catch 22.

Which is a shame because I would absolutely LOVE the business right now. Plus we'd have plenty to talk about!

Anyway, before I started sharing lurid stories online, I would periodically surf the internet for any references to myself and the Business. It's always interesting to see things from the customers perspective. So for all you "hobbyists" out there - don't think that we don't know what you guys are saying about us.

Mostly I'm talking about those adult review websites. Both Audrey and I are members of several of them, just so we can catch up on all the latest gossip about us and our competitors. Yes - we use the internet to spy on other Businesses and each other (I don't know how many times I've read a bad review about a "skank" named Audrey). We need to work for customers just like any other business, so we keep an eye on our competition.

But what's really fun is when you find something on a local business forum posted by a very unhappy housewife who just discovered her husbands credit card statements. Guess which of the following reviews was written by a woman?

A) "I got a blowjob from the blonde slut and ended up with a rash"
B) "They're all a bunch of dick sucking whores."
C) "Those skanks stole my wallet!"

The correct answer is "D" - all of the above. It's kinda obvious when it's not a customer because the stuff they say is just way off in left field. Well, if they're talking about Audrey, then the rash thing might be true.

Anyway, guys tend to share different info. Like some of these gems:

"Gave a less than enthusiastic hand release"
"Awesome tits"
"No FS. HJ only. Clothing options"
"Will let you finger her"

Needless to say, I've never had a customer who said he came in because we had good "reviews." Guys don't tend to share their secrets with us, which is a shame because I could probably give more accurate reviews of the local girls than most of that crap they post on the websites. Honestly - if a customer wanted to know where to get a decent BJ, I could recommend girls I know at other Businesses.

Now recently I've been following the internet chat on "CJ." Personally I think it's funny and flattering to see how much some of you guys have to say about me. To be safe, I will neither confirm nor deny how accurate any of your info is, but let me just say that I'm not too worried about being discovered any time soon.

And remember - this isn't a contest. So whoever does their homework and actually finds me - I've decided that you're not getting a freebie! LOL. Actually, I don't know what I'd do if a customer ever said "you're CJ, aren't you!" I think I'd totally freak out.

To be honest, the idea really does make me nervous. I mean, if that were to ever happen, then our real address and names could be posted all over the internet, and that scares the shit out of me. Most of you guys who have written to me seem normal and nice, but I have had more than my share of assholes and stalkers.

So those of you who still insist on finding me, good luck and just be cool about it. I wonder how many masseuses out here have been asked if they know a "CJ?"

CJ

The "Reverse" Parlor - A Massage Parlor for Women

When I did the QA a couple weeks ago, some of you asked if there was a female version of the massage parlor. Well, the female version of a happy ending does exist, but it's probably not exactly the party you think it is.

I have a guy friend from massage school who I'm still in contact with. You all got me thinking about the whole reverse parlor thing, so I gave "Rob" a call. I know he spent a couple years in a day spa located in a ritzy ski resort up in Canada and some of the stories he tells are hilarious. He always claimed that he rarely "dipped into the cookie jar" as he put it, but knew the guys who did it for a living. Yeah right.

I'll try to describe what they did using terms that I use for The Business. Basically, there were no clothing options since it was all under the table. What they did have the option of was a "clit massage" by either hand or tongue. Meanwhile, women who wanted to fuck would see the guys in their hotel rooms after work.

Now keep in mind that these services were not offered to anyone, and were only advertised by word of mouth (no pun intended). The way Rob describes it, the clients were basically very wealthy and very bored housewives who could do whatever they wanted while the husbands were out skiing. And unfortunately, he said that these women weren't exactly the Housewives of Atlanta, if you know what I mean.

I guess it wasn't uncommon for Rob to see one of his fellow masseurs out for drinks with some of the clients - after all, it was a ski resort and there was no where else to go. But every now and then he'd catch a coworker cozying up to some rich bitch, and he knew something was up. Those of you who have been to fancy restaurants and clubs have all seen them - the young guy getting mauled by the older couger.

Rob said you NEVER offered "services" to anyone. The customer had to initiate it first, and she HAD to have a referral before the masseur would even discuss it. So if a woman casually said "Darla said you'd take care of me" then he knew it was OK to start negotiating. However, if she said "I heard I could get taken care of here" then they would play dumb and deny eveything.

Now before you all start enrolling in massage school and moving up to Canada, let me tell ya that it wasn't all fun and games. Since they had worked up this secret referral system, the guys pretty much had to cater to anyone who used it - else they risked being exposed to the management and losing their jobs. This meant that any woman with the proper "referrals" had to be serviced - no matter what she looked like. Ewww.

I asked about the money and he said that they were "taken care of" - whatever that means. Well, it was enough for him to keep doing it for a couple of years! It couldn't have been too bad because it turns out that he saved enough to quit the business and go back to school for nursing.

When Rob asked about me, I told him I was working at a Day Spa downtown, but Trina ended up at a massage parlor! Am I a bitch or what?

CJ

The Art of the Facial

As you may have noticed, I finally changed my pic. Get used to it, because I'm not changing it again. It was taken a couple of years ago by an ex, and the bra reminded me of today's topic.

Now I kinda understand the appeal of the facial to guys. To begin with, men are just fascinated by their own cum. And I know that you guys enjoy shooting all over us girls as a way of marking your territory (I know - I do this for a living). I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying that I know you guys enjoy the visual of cum splashed breasts, asses and faces. So if some guy wants to pay extra to make a pretty mess, I usually don't mind.

I have to admit that I'm pretty good at making the most of a good cumshot. When a customer asks to cum on The Girls, I have a whole routine I do now. I have a special way of holding them up and out for a tempting target. I also make sexy little faces and say things like "coat me in that hot cum...", etc. And after he's done, I always make it a point to run my fingers through it and comment on what a "mess" he's made. Guys gobble that shit up.

But the facial is a whole step above all that. So, I've only offered it to a very small group of guys that I'm really comfortable with.

Now I know I've made that statement a hundred times before. BUT when it comes to semen on my face, I really really mean it. I have to be practically in love with you. I'm so serious about this that I've rarely agreed to facials with guys that I've dated.

It's not that I have an aversion to semen. I don't mind it's taste or smell. And if it's a boyfriends birthday, I'll even swallow! The problem is that most guys just can't aim. They shoot it all in your eyes, and let me tell you - that shit stings! And cum in the hair??? That shit doesn't come out easily and you pretty much have to jump in the shower. That's why I don't like doing them at work - it's just not worth the hassle no matter how much I'm offered. What's the point of a few extra bucks if I have to spend half an hour washing and drying my hair, or trying not to scare off customers with my "pink eye?"

With that said, I was particularly confused by this one guys request. About 3 years ago, I had this Regular back when EVERYONE was rich (remember those days?). We were seeing each other often, and his thing was lingerie. He would bring in something new each session. Usually it was things like lacey teddys, garters, etc. But this time he had brought just a plain white bra and panties - kinda like the one in the new picture.

It was a Sunday evening and we had the whole place to ourselves. Usually he took a 1 hour massage with me in the lingerie. We would normally finish with me kneeling before him while he stood up and jerked himself off on whatever he bought me. Then he'd take the freshly soiled lingerie home for his own future amusement.

But this particular evening, he said he wanted to "...do something different... I want to cum on your face." I said "sure" since it was the end of the shift and I had time to shower, and he was essentially just moving the target a few inches up on my anatomy. I was already familiar with the scent and feel of his cum on my skin, and he had even splattered my chin and neck a few times by "accident" in the past.

Now here is the part that I want you guys out there to explain to me...

"But" he said, "I don't want you to clean it up immediately." I gave him a weird look. "I want you to just wear it for a bit. Walk around and stuff for a few minutes."

Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. I totally didn't get it but hey, whatever floats your boat. He then proceeded to take care of himself and he shot a rather watery load all over my lips, cheeks and chin.

When he was done, I opened my eyes and asked "can I move now?" only it came out as "...an I ooove ow?" since I was doing my best not to let it ooze between my lips. I spit a few times till I could open my mouth, then I got up and starting cleaning up the room and putting things away. He started throwing his clothes back on, just as if everything was normal.

When I was done, I asked if I could clean up now, and he said "No, I want you to walk to the office and back. Then you can clean yourself off." So I did, and he followed me. I even took an extra minute back there to check some paperwork, being careful not to leave any stains on the desk.

By now, the bra had taken the brunt of the dripping semen which I'm guessing is what he wanted. But my question to all of you out there is what's the deal of me wearing his jizz for a while when he could have just cum directly on the bra? I'm guessing it's a humiliation or power trip thing, but he totally did not act the part and that's why I'm confused.

So there you have it - a facial story, a new picture, and a puzzle to figure out. This should keep you guys busy this weekend.

CJ

Business As Usual

Well, the repair work is mostly done and we're up and running again. The place smells a bit like paint, but I have to admit that I like the new color of my room.

Audrey did end up changing the floor plan slightly. Trina and I still have showers in our rooms but now they share the same set of pipes. And the shower was removed from the storage room since no one ever used it.

But I think the biggest and perhaps smartest difference is that Audrey took my advice and changed the room shapes to accommodate tanning booths in the future. The idea is that if and when we decide to hang up the massage oil bottles, we can convert over to a tanning salon with minimum remodeling. And in the meanwhile, we can add another booth whenever we want.

Audrey and I had a good talk recently about the future of The Business - in light of the recent water disaster, and the closing of the local AMPs. She knows I want to eventually open my own tanning place, and I know she wants to retire soon. So if she ever decided to retire and let me take over, this place could be converted to 100% legit in no time.

My dream business would be both massage and tanning - with 2 different entrances so the massage customers would still have their privacy. That way the real bread-and-butter money would come from tanning, but I'd still get to pocket a wad of cash each week doing massages for Regulars only. THAT would be a dream job!!!

Now before you guys all go into a panic about me converting this blog to "Confessions of a Tanning Salon Attendant" - it's just idol chit chat right now. These hands still have another couple of years of HJs still left in them. But could you imagine...?

"... had to replace a couple light bulbs in Booth 3 today... "
"Trina spilled a bottle of lotion on the carpet..."
"Mrs. Green fell asleep in the room - AGAIN."

How boring would THAT be?

CJ

Titty Fight

In keeping with the tradition of Half Nekkid Thursday, here is the final pic in the infamous "Road To A Titty Fight" series.

In our last episode, Cindy and I had been "encouraged" or "persuaded" to compare The Girls to each other. A face-off, you could say. Heck, after a couple of beers it doesn't take much to get me to give The Girls a bit of fresh air.

In my corner were The Girls weighing in at an all natural 34 D. In Cindy's corner were Da Girls weighing in at an artificially and hormonally enhanced 34 C (yes - she was already a couple months pregnant and drinking, but the baby's fine so I don't want to hear it).

Personally, I think it was a tie. Ron thought I won, but I think he was hoping I'd have a few more beers in celebration with him. What do you guys think?

CJ

p.s. I know I'm going to get a lot of complaints about how small the picture is and that I'm not showing any nipple. But hey - beggers can't be choosers. And enjoy it now because I'm replacing it next week with something more conservative that will be my permanent photo. But at least I can say that I put my money where my mouth is!!!!

Freak of the Week - The Couple

Work has finally started on the torn up rooms. This means that we're back to an evening schedule for the rest of the week. The guys will have the place to themselves in the mornings, and the girls will have it in the afternoons.

Yesterday was weird because I came in at 2:00 and the guys were supposed to be completely gone. Instead, there were like 5 men just sort of lingering around pretending to be cleaning up. You could tell they were trying to check us out as we came in for work, so I reminded Audrey that not a single customer will walk through that door as long as they were here. She finally said something to their supervisor and they were gone 10 minutes later.

Massage Parlor Rule #7 - never let the customers see other guys.

I hid in the office until they left. Every minute they're here after 2:00 is a waste of my time. It wasn't until about 3:00 that we were finally able to open. I was pissed and told Audrey so. She promised it wouldn't happen again.

But I won't complain too much since I did pretty well over the weekend. Everyone came in to make up for the loss of work last weekend. It was funny - so many guys were worried about us that Saturday and Sunday became a sort of homecoming. I'd say business was almost double that of a regular weekend, despite the bad weather.

But my most interesting session wasn't with an overly concerned Regular. I had my first couple! Well technically second, but the first where the girl wanted to get involved.

They were a pretty good looking couple in their late 20's I'd say. And it was obvious from the beginning that they were still in the honeymoon stage and totally obsessed with each other. An erotic massage was the girlfriends idea for a birthday gift for her man. She insisted on watching and I think it was partly for the turn-on and partly to make sure he didn't get more than a hand job.

Now I mentioned that they were obsessed with each other, right? The girl practically shadowed me from the moment I entered the room. I explained the options and she offered to pay for a topless which more than made her boyfriend happy. She made me a little nervous and annoyed with the hovering, so I made sure that I did a professional job with the massage to make her feel like she was getting her moneys worth.

The boyfriend notably kept his hands to himself during all this. I think she would have chopped them off if he tried to touch me. Hey - I wasn't complaining. The two of them were doing some sort of lovey-dovey baby talk while I was doing my thing, so I kept it quiet and just described what I was going to do before it did it - just so there were no surprises.

Then when it came time for the happy ending, I let her know directly what I was about to do, and she nodded her agreement. So I grabbed the bottle of oil from the warmer and lubed my hands up. As I started to work his shaft, I noticed that he got quiet and tensed up as if he shouldn't be enjoying himself at the hands of another woman.

Then I noticed that she got quiet too - as if he shouldn't be enjoying himself at the hands of another woman. This is when she asked if she could "help." I said "no" since the double handjob is really awkward for the guy and I could probably finish him off quicker than she could (I'm a professional).

Then she got weirder. "What do you do with the cum? I mean, shouldn't he be wearing a condom or something?" I think I may have paused mid tug on that one since it's probably the oddest thing anyone has ever asked me in session. I wanted to tell her that we collect it in test tubes and sell it to blackmarket sperm banks, but instead I said I usually let it shoot on the guy's belly and then I wipe it up with a towel.

I guess this treatment wasn't nearly good enough for HER man's precious seed because she still looked uneasy. So then she got even more weirder. "Can he cum in my mouth?"

Now when you read this, it appears as if she's just this kinky bitch who loves pleasing her man. BUT... the way she looked and sounded when she asked told a different story. I swear to you guys - I totally got the feeling that this girl really didn't want me touching this guys semen. His dick in my hands was pushing the limits, but his man-essence? Forget it!!!

It takes A LOT to weird me out nowadays, so I took it in stride. I decided to take control of this session back from psycho girl so I get this over with quickly. "Fine," I ordered, "Go over there and lay your head right here on his stomach." She walked obediently to the other side of the table. "I'm going to aim him directly into your mouth and he's going to tell you when he's cumming."

I think they were both relieved by this solution because she smiled and he got noticeably harder in my left hand. I continued to work him up and down, only at a steeper angle that pointed the head of his dick towards her open mouth. Finally, the boyfriend started to moan and she inched her tongue to within about an inch of his cock. He moved his hands up to the back of her head and said "Now baby, now!"

I expected her to open her mouth and just let it shoot in, but instead she actually grabbed his dick out of my oily hand and then totally deep throated him - oil and all. I pulled my hands back just so they wouldn't get sucked in too. He made some sort of growling noises for about a minute while she continued to aggresively blow him.

And the weirdest part out of all the weirdness that happened just now was my initial reaction. Now you guys out there know that I actually enjoy watching a man cum. Those little jets of semen are my proof of a job well done. Well, when this overly protective girl pushed my hand out of the way and took over the happy ending, I actually felt a small pang of jealousy.

Not that it had anything to do with an attachment to the guy. It was totally about me doing my job. My first thought was "Hey bitch! I did that - not you!" I know that makes me sound nutty as well, and you may not believe it but that was how I felt.

What can I say? I take pride in my work and I felt like she was taking credit for it. Next time I get a couple, I'm making her do all the work while I supervise. And I'll probably charge extra.

CJ

Dude are you serious?

I usually let people say whatever they want to in the comments - even if it pisses me off. It just makes things more lively. I think I've deleted maybe 3 comments since I started doing this, and that was because they were advertisements of some kind.

I figure that if someone says something particularly nasty about me, it gives me an opportunity to be nasty right back. But for the most part, everyone here has been nice. I've found that when someone says an insulting comment, it's usually based on ignorance. That gives me a chance to re-educate some of the more naive people out there about The Business.

For example, I used to get a lot of comments from guys who thought massage parlors were the same as brothels. I used to get angry, but later I used it as an opportunity to explain that not all parlors are full service, and not all masseuses are full service.

What I'm trying to do here is let people know what really goes on behind those session doors. And hopefully they'll walk away knowing that it's really not as bad as you think. What I get a kick out of is hearing some guy tried a parlor for the first time and that my advice made him feel comfortable enough to give it a go. To me, that's the biggest compliment I can get.

As for you guys that get into it with each other, I don't mind that either. It sometimes brings up some interesting topics that I can talk about later on. I think one of you guys summed it up best when he said that if I deleted everything that wasn't nice, the only comment left would be "Hey CJ Ur tits r kickin - when can icu?"

And if that ain't a compliment, I don't know what is.

CJ

Freak of the Week - Bob The Builder

This has been like the weirdest week. We got flooded. The Business is half torn apart. Audrey is up to her old bullshit again. And all the freaks have come out of hiding. It must be a full moon.

Let me make this quick. We were closed over the weekend while the workers removed all the affected carpeting and walls. Now all that's left is a giant tarp covering up half our space. Inside it's just bare concrete, wires and pipes.

So what is it exactly about bare concrete, wires and pipes that turns guys on? Monday was my first full working day since the flood and EVERY customer made a comment about wanting to do a session behind the tarp. There's just something about construction work that turns guys on. At first it was funny. Then it was annoying.

Then there's Bob.

Bob actually put the money where his mouth is. He was my last customer last night and I swear, he would not shut up about the construction. You know how guys get when they're in "man" mode - he stood there with his hands on his hips asking technical questions and making suggestions about how we could improve things. Meanwhile, I was in "girl" mode and was trying to lure him into session so I could get the heck home on time.

I knew what he was going to say and he finally did. "Hey - can we do it right here?"

"Sure Bob. Just whip it out right here and I'll take care of you."

So he did. Now normally, I would have just grabbed him by his dick and dragged him into my room. And if he were a newbie, I would have kicked him out without waiting for him to zip up. But Bob's a Regular, the place was empty, I was tired, and I figured we could make this quick.

I led him over to where my room used to be. The shower stall is still there, but the wall behind it is gone. I told him to "get comfortable" while I ran across the hall to get some warm oil. When I came back, he was standing there with his shirt on and no pants. I don't care if you're Brad Pitt - that's always an unattractive look for guys.

I led him to my shower stall (or what was left of it) thinking this will make for easy clean up. Bob normally takes a G-string, so I pulled off my hoodie and put it on the ground. Then with my bra still on, I knelt down on the hoodie and started to work his cock gently without oil. Bob prefers the "striptease" so I usually undress at various points during the massage.

I think the whole kinkyness of it was getting to him because he got excited a lot quicker than usual. Normally I can get him semi-erect with my hands dry, then I switch to oil, but tonight he went from zero to 60 without much effort from me. Heck, I think he was looking more at the water pipes than he was at the girls.

But now that he was good to go, I realized how awkward it was going to be to oil him up before I was undressed since I wasn't surrounded by towels and sheets. So I decided to improvise. Instead of lubing him up with oil, I spit on his cock.

When I did that, his eyes got really wide. "Holy shit girl! That's hot. Keep doing that..."

And I thought I was just being lazy.

I sped up the pumping motion with my left hand and started to massage his balls with my right. Then I stopped and spit on him again, only this time I made it a point to spit on the head and let it drip for a second so he could enjoy the show. Bob moaned for a few seconds, then I started working him again.

This is great, I thought. He doesn't even care that I'm still in my bra. I knew he didn't have much longer to go, so I started pointing him towards the shower stall. Bob is a "director" so he always tells me exactly what to do to finish him off.

"Just like that girl... Oh yeah... Now spit on it again but don't stop..." He looked up. Either he was about to cum, or he was turned on by the bare heating duct. "... now faster... faster... that's it..."

Bob let out a really loud groan that kinda carried in the hollowed out space. His cum shot neatly into the shower stall, just like I had planned. I continued to stroke him slowly until he quieted down. Then he looked at me and gave me a big grin.

I lifted my left hand, which was dripping with semen and stuck my tongue out like I was going to lick it off. Bob was in no condition to be teased any further, so I just smiled at him and then grabbed the towel.

As I imagined, clean up was really easy. And I had managed to complete an entire session in a third of the time while sending Bob home in a good mood. He even tipped me a couple bucks extra!

So I was able to go home finally - also in a good mood. I really needed the pick me up because I lost out on work for a few days and discovered just this morning that Audrey actually kept appointments over the weekend. I almost flipped out when I heard that from Cindy. Fucking bitch keeps her own appointments, but tells us to go home.

But I feel better now. It looks like The Business will operate with half the rooms gone for now until the insurance crap is settled and the work begins. Meanwhile a massage table was moved into the tanning room and we're all going to share 2 rooms.

I'll live, but I miss my room.

CJ

Disaster Update

Hey guys!

Just a quick update on what's going on (don't you like it when I have nothing better to do?).

Audrey got a BUNCH of guys in here yesterday to rip up the carpet and most of the affected walls. It looks like shit, but at least we can open up again. I guess it's going to stay this way for a few days till we figure out what insurance is going to cover, and how we want to redo the place. You guys had the right idea of taking this as an opportunity to remodel.

Right now each room has a shower stall, but Audrey is concerned about the quality of the pipes in all of them. So she might remove some of the stalls and replace them with tanning booths. I know that sounds really weird, but you would be surprised at the number of guys (and occasional girl) who use the 1 booth we have. I tell ya, ever since this whole metro-sexual fad got started, more and more guys tan.

Funny how it never rains, but it pours. It feels like the phone has been ringing off the hook ever since we had to close. Regulars I haven't heard from in ages all of a sudden wanted appointments this weekend. And Audrey said she lost track of the number of cars that pulled up front, drove past real slow, then took off. Whatever. I'm going to try not to get upset over it.

Anyway, I've actually appreciated having a few days off. Maybe now I won't be so irritable when I write. Who knows - maybe next week I'll have some stories about how Audrey "pays off" the contractors! LOL

CJ

Half Naked Friday

Since this week has been so stressful and the blog has gotten so down, I decided to end the week on a high note. So here is the next pic in "Road To A Titty Fight" series. This pic was taken earlier this year. It was right after work, and Cindy and I went to Trina's place to have some drinks and relax.

Here's the background: after a few beers, we started talking about the blog and thought it might be fun to finally get a better pic for my profile. Trina fumbled around for a pair for dark sunglasses and I posed for a few pics taken on my cell phone.

I posed for a few pics, then Cindy joined me. Trina wanted nothing to do with it, but after a few more beers, she jumped in. Trina had her friend "Ron" over, so we let him take the camera. This is when today's pic was taken.

A couple more beers later and Ron suggests we flash the camera. "Hey! They won't know who you are with the sunglasses on!"

Remember, we were drinking.

Anyway, we were hesitant at first, but then tops started getting pulled up and Ron more than encouraged us. In fact, he even got Trina to flash the camera once.

Remember, we were drinking.

Right about here, somebody said something brilliant like "Who has the biggest tits?" I suspect it was the guy.

Well, tops got pulled up again and a few more pics later Cindy and I were mashing our breasts together. Meanwhile, Trina was laughing her ass off and our happy little photographer was clicking away with my phone.

Needless to say, all of the photos were funny, but none of them were suitable for use on the internet. A few I texted to friends, and that was the end of them. I just kinda forgot about them until you guys started making a fuss a couple months ago.

I tried my best to edit them so they were safe to post. I REALLY had to cut out Trina in order to get her permission. Cindy didn't care so much. Besides, I think she likes showing off her girls.

So enjoy these while you can. I'll be replacing them next week with the now infamous "titty fight" shot.

CJ

Disaster Update

Ugh. What a night. So here's what happened...

Apparently a fitting on the shower in room 2 burst open sometime in the morning. It was inside the wall, so water did not spray over the room like Audrey first said. Instead, it seeped all over that half of The Business. Trina's room, my room, the storage room and the hallway were all soaked.

When I got there yesterday, there were like 5 guys plus the landlord running around fixing things. 2 years ago when my toilet exploded, I had to wait a day for one guy to show up. I have to admit one thing about Audrey - she has connections. She was besides herself, so I tried my best to calm her down. I agreed that there was no way we could do business with all that activity going on.

After the pipe was fixed and most of the water was removed, a guy showed up to give an estimate on repairing the damage. The one wall was totally ripped apart by the plumbers, and the carpets were a mess. None of the furniture seemed to be damaged but everything kinda smells funny now. Luckily, the water didn't reach the office or the tanning room. We have a $5000 tanning booth sitting directly across the hall from where the leak was.

According to the guy, the wall where the shower is has to be completely replaced. All the carpet in the 3 rooms has to be ripped up. And parts of my wall may have to go too.

Audrey can't afford to shut down completely for a week, but we also can't operate while they're doing the work (apparently you guys can't seem to get it up when you hear the chattering of Mexican guys painting outside the door). So for now we're all gonna share the remaining 2 rooms. We'll push opening from 11 to noon, and Audrey will let the contractors work in the mornings.

But for today, Audrey doesn't want me to come in till the bad carpeting is ripped up, so I'm looking at an evening shift instead of a day. Oh well, not like I make that much money on a Thursday anyway.

BTW - I like how so few people cared that The Business got flooded, but instead they're going at it in the comments of my last post. Thanks for the sympathy guys!!!

CJ

Disaster!!!!!!

Audrey called me right after The Business opened at 11. She was crying. Apparently a pipe exploded in the shower stall in Cindy's room, which is right next to my room. Water everywhere. She said it looks like it was gushing for a couple hours because there was water all over Cindy's room, my room, the storage room and the hallway.

I normally work Wednesday nights, but Audrey said there was no way we were opening up today. So I'm going to work right now to give her some moral support and see how bad it really is.

I'll give you guys an update tonight since it looks like I won't be working.

CJ

Monday Night Football brought to you by HappyEndingz! - and other reasons why handjobs should be legal

You want to know what I think about all this nonsense about police raids and legalization and AMPs and stuff? Personally I think they should shut down ALL full service parlors, AMPs and brothels. That's right - ALL the full service places. From my experience around here, those places are all nasty, the girls are dirty, and they bring crime to their neighborhoods. There, I said it.

Am I being a hypocrite? No - I also think that whatever 2 consenting adults decide to do with each other for money is no one's business. So I'm actually OK with the whole escort thing. It's the full-service places I have a problem with.

You see once a place goes full service, it stops being about massage and starts becoming a brothel. Then the place stops hiring masseuses and starts hiring dirty girls with VD and drug problems (or if you're an AMP, you bring in the slaves). And before you know it, 3 people get shot in the parking lot over a crack deal gone bad. THAT is what happens when a massage parlor turns into a brothel. I don't have a problem with a guy paying for a blowjob - I have a problem with the drugs and violence that full-service places bring to a neighborhood.

As for handjob-only places - I think they should be legalized. We keep our businesses clean. We do our best NOT to hire druggies. And the only thing I'm a slave too is chocolate.

Yes - there are AMPs out there that are not worked by slaves and run by the mob, but the ones I've seen around here are. I've been in this business for a long time and I've seen dozens and dozens of girls come and go - but I have NEVER worked with an Asian girl who came from one of the local AMPs. NEVER.

Don't you think that at SOME time during my illustrious career, a girl from one of the AMPs would have come over to one of the other places looking for a better job? I know for a fact that we make more money because customers tell us what they tip at the AMPs. Our Business is much cleaner looking. We're not located in a ghetto. And heck - we even have health insurance!!!!!!

So please stop thinking that it's just an amazing coincidence that 99% of the Asian girls in The Valley have chosen to live together in a converted garage next to the train tracks.

And thats what I think. I mean, if the full-service places were regulated, kept clean, and didn't attract drug dealers and stuff, then I might feel different. I know it works in Nevada, but that's the reality here in SE PA.

And if HJ only places were legal - think about what our advertisements could say!

CJ

p.s. Come up with some catchy slogans!

Sayonara Suckers

Let me tell ya - the shutdown of those Asian places has been the main topic around here for the last few days. I mean as far as we're concerned, it can be good and bad. Good in that we'll eventually get some of their customers, but bad in that it'll scare off everyone from all parlors until it all blows over.

Did I know the places in the article? Kinda. One of them I've driven by and the other I've heard about. Let me tell ya - they all fit a type of mold. It's always a low rent, hidden kinda place like an old house in a bad part of town. What these mob guys do is find a place they can get for almost nothing to set up shop. Then they throw in a couple of beds (not massage tables), a "table shower," and finally some high-security doors and they're in business.

How do I know? I've been talking to the customers about it all week. I'm a little surprised at how many guys have actually tried an Asian place at least once. But the stories are all the same.

For example, I knew that their typical sessions are different from ours - but now I have a better understanding of why. At the AMPs, the sessions start off with a "table shower" then move to an actual bedroom. No massage tables - that would be too expensive. They just use regular beds for the massage and happy ending. Then some of the places offer clothing options, some don't. Odd thing is that I've heard that the massages can be pretty good. Anyway, after the massage, the girls may then offer options.

This is where it really departs from what we do... The guys will take the money and leave it on a table - THE GIRL DOES NOT TOUCH IT. She leaves the room, usually to get a condom, and ANOTHER woman comes in to collect the money. I remember guys telling me this and it made no sense to me before. After reading that article, I realize it's because the girls NEVER GOT THE MONEY. It makes perfect sense now. At first I was guessing that it was some weird legal thing to separate the exchange of cash from the happy ending, but now I know the truth.

Then the girl comes back in and performs whatever happy ending the guy paid for, then sends him on his way. Now this routine may differ in other parts of the country, but this is pretty much what guys around here have told me.

Someone asked if this is typical of Asian places only, and now I know it's not. There are so-called "European" massage parlors that have fresh-off-the-boat Russian girls. I know they have them in NYC, but none around here.

Customers have told me they're pretty much the same routine as the Asian places in that the girls actually live inside the business and aren't allowed to handle the money.

So how do you identify a place thats run by the mafia and uses unwilling girls who are little more than sex slaves? Well, the first hint is a giant, locked and barred security door covered with Police Brotherhood Assocation stickers. That security door may be more about keeping the girls in than keeping the cops out. And the PBA stickers have no meaning, I mean anyone can get them and I don't want to go around saying that the cops condone this sort of thing.

Am I worried about us at The Business? Nah. These raids are a "feel good" PR campaign right before the local elections next month. Happens like clockwork in the fall - just like the roads getting repaved. "Re-Elect Mayor Douchbag - he's tough on crime!"

There's nothing to gain by bothering us because we fly below the radar. Raid an AMP and you get piles of cash, condoms, 3 tatooed henchmen, and 8 bewildered girls who are unaccustomed to sunlight blinking for the cameras. Raid a local parlor and all you'll get is some dirty sheets, a couple aromatherapy candles and 3 very pissed off girls.

CJ

ANOTHER Reason To Boycott Asian Massage Parlors

As most of you know, I'm totally against the Asian massage parlors (AMP) because they're basically just fronts for the mob. These are not happy little women practicing an "ancient chinese secret" for massage, and this is NOT a normal way of life for them.

Below is an article from the local newspaper about the recent police raids on 2 of the AMPs in my neck of the woods. I don't normally post other peoples stuff, but this thing just made my blood run cold and I wanted all you guys out there to read it.

CJ



Sex slavery in Berks County massage parlors
South Korean women are brought into the country and forced into prostitution at massage parlors here, according to investigators trying to crack down on the practice.

There is slavery in Berks County.

They're sex slaves, working in massage parlors that are fronts for prostitution.

And the sex slave trade has prompted investigations leading to a series of raids on area Asian massage parlors in the past few months, according to the lawmen involved.

One federal investigator, an expert in Asian crime organizations, said several such gangs have been operating about a dozen Asian massage parlors as fronts for prostitution in Berks.

The investigator, who requested anonymity, said the local sex slave operations were controlled by South Korean organized crime rings operating out of the Flushing section of Queens, N.Y.

"This is modern-day slavery," the investigator said. "If people knew what goes on in these places and what is behind them, they would be outraged."

According to federal investigators:

Many of the women who work in these massage parlors were tricked and coerced into working as prostitutes.

They typically come from an impoverished region of South Korea and most have only a basic education and few economic prospects.

Criminals lure them with promises of legitimate jobs in the United States and quick cash.

The rings charge the women or their families about $25,000 to smuggle them into the United States from Korea. Often smugglers themselves will loan them the fee at outrageous interest rates.

The slavers typically fly the women through rogue nations such as Libya and often bring them across the Mexican border using passports purchased or stolen from South Koreans who are in the U.S. on legitimate tourist visas.

Tourists who sell their passports to slavers report the documents stolen a few days later and get new ones to return home.

Once in the U.S., the sex slaves are shuttled to Flushing, home to the nation's largest South Korean community.

The women are sent to work in massage parlors in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and other nearby states.

When the women arrive in Berks County, they are told they owe the driver $500 for the trip from New York.

Older South Korean women who run the parlors typically offer to pay for the ride, making the women indebted to them.

The older manager, or madam, then explains how the business works. The madam arranges for room and board and deducts those costs from any tips the slaves make from having sex with customers.

The ring maintains its hold over these women by keeping them in debt.

Slavers take the women's passports and identification. The women are told that if they are discovered, they will be thrown in jail and deported and will still owe the ring the $25,000 loan for bringing them to the U.S. in the first place.

The women have sex with a dozen or more men a day, and at the end of the week - after paying for their room and board and interest on the smugglers loan - end up with nothing or only a small amount, perhaps $80.

The rings move the women around frequently. This keeps them from forming bonds with other sex slaves and makes them easier to control.

The women often have a small child or other family back in South Korea, whom the criminals can use to threaten an uncooperative sex slave.

The slavers also use sleep deprivation to make the women easier to control.

Berks County District Attorney John T. Adams said his office is committed to investigating any complaints of suspected prostitution, adding that it is difficult to investigate because workers typically won't cooperate.

"When we receive complaints about those types of establishments, we investigate," Adams said. "I can't comment on which of these places are legitimate and which are not."

Adams said his office will continue to work with federal investigators looking into possible ties to organized crime.

"We are concerned that this is part of a larger ring," he said. "However, we have not received cooperation from the workers, and it is difficult to determine what is going on.

"We suspect that there is much more behind these businesses and we will continue to work with federal authorities in these matters."

The problem with human trafficking and sexual exploitation goes beyond South Korea, according to federal investigators.

Chinese gangs typically operate their rings in big cities with large Chinese populations. Chinese workers in restaurants, garment shops and elsewhere are their customers.
Mexican gangs operate prostitution rings in communities with large populations of migrant workers.

And the list goes on.

Kevin Bales, an expert in slave trafficking and president of the Washington-based nonprofit group Free The Slaves, said human trafficking from South Korea to the U.S. really picked up in the past 10 to 15 years.

Officials from the South Korean Embassy in Washington did not respond to requests for comment.

Investigators said people from all walks of life are customers of the Asian massage parlors.

"I've talked to people who patronize these businesses and I have asked them why they go there," a federal agent recalled. "One guy said something that really struck me.

"He said he sees the women in the massage parlor as less than human because they do not look like his wife, or his sister, or his mother.

"But they are mothers, sisters and children. And they don't have the option to leave."

Reading Criminal Investigator Pasquale Leporace of the vice and narcotics division said he has worked on four massage parlor cases, and he believes law enforcement has done a good job keeping the places from operating in Reading.

"I don't know of any that are currently open in the city," Leporace said. "If they do pop up again, we will act on it quickly."

Half Naked Thursday?

OK, I have a problem. First off, I don't get where this "Half Naked Thursday" thing came from. Second, I'm having an issue with the pictures I wanted to post.

The pic I wanted to use was of the 3 Amigos - Trina, Cindy and me. However, when I told Trina, she freaked out and said she doesn't want ANYTHING with her in it being shared. Well I tried to cut her out of the picture, but it just wasn't working.

So instead I dug up an old pic of me taken 2 boyfriends ago using something called "film." It looks like crap, but hey - that's the look I was going for.

As for Trina, I'm gonna talk to her because I LOVE that pic of us. I can't guarantee anything, but maybe if I put a big smiley face over hers, she'll give me the OK.

In the meanwhile, the comments on how we deal with cheapskates here at The Business got me going again, so I threw in my 2 cents - AGAIN. Enjoy!

CJ

The Cheapskate Option

Last week someone made a comment about how he always offers less than the regular cost for options. This set me off. I mean, I know that times are tough for everyone but would you start bartering at McDonalds? I didn't think so.

I think it would be helpful if I responded to this calmly. Yes, we do get guys in here who try to barter. In fact, over the past year it's gotten really bad. It's partly the shitty economy and partly because Audrey has kept cutting her prices without telling us.

This is how it works at The Business:

We keep our prices fixed. All the girls (including the boss) are supposed to charge the EXACT same amount for options. Now if you took notes last week, you'll remember that options are topless, G-string and nude (extras are our own business and we can charge whatever we want for them). We do this for your protection and ours.

It protects you (the consumer) because a girl can't rip you off by making up her own prices. And it protects us because it keeps our tips fair and prevents girls from stealing customers from each other. As long as everyone sticks to the posted prices, it actually increases repeat business.

Some may argue that what a girl charges in the room shouldn't be anyone's business. BUT, when a girl secretly cuts her prices, what happens is that her customers eventually start expecting the other girls to cut theirs. I can't tell you how many times over the past year I've gotten some cheap ass guys in here with a fucking $20 bill asking me for a hand job because "Audrey did it."

So back to the original issue, yes - we get guys in here trying to barter, but we tell them no. I mean, if a Regular comes in and he's a couple bucks short of what he usually gets, I'll let it go. But for the most part, we don't barter on options.

However... Over the past year things got so bad that I eventually created a new option for cheapskates. So whenever some cheap ass bastard came in and gave me a song and dance about how "I've only got $40" AFTER he's on the table, I would offer him a 1 time only deal:

Choose between a handjob or a topless massage - you can't have both.

I've discovered that this ultimatum worked in my favor. For anything less than $80, they either got FIVE MINUTES of my attention for a happy ending. or they got 15 minutes of massage with a view of the girls. That was my "Cheapskate Special." Remember that in the delicate art of negotiation, always offer 2 solutions - both in your favor. So if a guy tried to offer $60, he would either get a 5 minute handjob from a very disinterested masseuse, or 15 minutes of a half-hearted massage from a topless massuese (and that 15 minutes is spent on their stomachs so they can't see much!).

And let me tell ya, I think I've had maybe 2 guys walk out, but the rest stuck around. You would be surprised how many guys suddenly "found" a few extra bucks in their pocket. And the ones that came back ALWAYS paid full price after that.

OK, enough ranting for today. I was gonna post a new pic, but I got in a pissy mood about this sore subject. That's what you get for distracting me. So maybe Thursday!

CJ

Options and Extras

When I was answering all your questions, I noticed that there seems to be some confusion between "Options" and "Extras." I thought it would be helpful for me to talk about that because I also want to comment on the recent massage parlor experiences some of you guys have shared with me.

When I talk about "Options" I'm referring to the clothing options that I offer during session. Basically, when you come to The Business, you are offered 3 different clothing options for your erotic massage: 1) Topless, 2) G-string, and 3) nude. All of them come with happy ending, and you don't have to even ask.

The 4th option is the "Mutual" massage, where the customer gets to massage me. But I don't include it with my options nowadays because I only offer that to Regulars that I like. It's just not worth chancing it on a guy who's only going to dig his knuckles in my back for a minute, then spend the rest of his time pinching my breasts... Ugh.

This is how the options thing works... When you arrive at The Business, the only thing you discuss at the front desk is the amount of time you want in the room. This is when you pay the "House Fee." Once you're inside my room, I will then offer you the options. There is no code or secret handshake here - I break the ice by telling you up front that I will take my top off for a tip of such-and-such amount. The happy ending is implied at this point, so if any of you guys out there reach this stage, relax - you found an erotic massage parlor!

Remember - the hand release comes free with the option. If you decline an option, and just tell me to leave my clothes on and give you a massage - then you're getting a therapeutic only with no happy ending. At The Business, I make my money by what I wear (or not wear). So if your masseuse has not offered any options by your 4th session, she's not going to.

Now this brings me to your recent stories. What some of you boys have been telling me is that you've been getting a hand release at the end of a massage with NO clothing options offered. I have to tell you that THIS IS NOT an erotic massage parlor. What you've discovered is a massage provider who's giving you a happy ending "on the side." If no clothes are coming off, then it is definitely a hush-hush situation. Just consider yourself lucky and please don't ask her coworkers for the same treatment!

So now you're wondering why she's giving you a free handjob. Well for starters I HOPE you've been tipping her well for superior service. Second, you're probably going to see her again real real soon. And third, why on Earth would you want to switch masseuses when you've hit the jackpot?

It's just a little thing we call marketing. We used to joke about it in massage school. The gag was something like "with a technique like that, she better give a good hand job..."

This brings us to "Extras." These are basically anything above and beyond a hand release. So other releases like breast or thigh are extra. Also, any other kink like lingerie, dirty talking, doubles, etc. are extra. And if you're lucky enough to find a full service girl, then maybe you could try a nice blowjob.

As for me, I don't always offer extras, especially if you're a newbie or I'm just not comfortable around you. In fact, I usually don't bring them up - I don't have to. I mean, if a customer is obviously into feet then I may offer my laundry list of foot-related kinks. Typically a customer may ask what else is available after they've had a few regular sessions.

Now back to you guys who've found a free-lancer. You might be able to squeeze an "extra" outta her if you ask nicely. Ya see, here's the situation... She's providing you a little bonus that the boss doesn't know about. So she might be up for other things in the room that no one else could catch her at like dirty talking, doubles, etc.

But ya know what? I've lived such an insulated life here in my neck of the woods, that I may be totally off on how other parlors work. Who knows - maybe there are some parlors out there that include a hand release without any clothing options. If any girls out there work at a place with different or no options, please let me know!

CJ

Q&A - Round 2

OK guys, I promised you I'd answer ALL of your questions, so here goes. Q&A round 2:

Q: Well, I've been wanting to ask the following for a week, so here goes. In your post of 8/27/2009, you wrote, "Personally, I don't consider anything I do as actual sex, so I don't have any ethical dilemmas with it."

However, on a few occasions (for example 2/3/2009), you also claimed, "...(believe it or not) I would never want to date a guy who went to massage parlors. Heck, I even have problems with guys I'm dating going to strip clubs!"

My question: if you don't consider what you do to be sex, one can only assume the guys you're doing it with also aren't having sex. So in that case, they can't be cheating on anyone, so what's the problem with dating them?

A: You have assumed wrong. Just because what I do isn't sex, doesn't mean that the customers aren't having it. Think of what I do as a form of masterbation with a little assistance. The customers get off - I don't. And I wouldn't want a guy I was dating to be getting off with anyone other than me. And that includes strippers and other erotic masseuses.

Q: Are you still having fun with the blog or does it seem like a chore some days? I was gung-ho about my own blog for a few months and then it wore off and felt more like another obligation.

A: I love the blog and especially you guys. Sometimes after a particularly busy day I don't feel like saying much, but for the most part this thing serves as a sort of therapy.

Q: Do you want readers to email their pics to you at your yahoo address? are you curious about any of us like we're curious about you?

A: No, not really, but I'm a little curious about some of the guys who write me on a regular basis. LOL I want to be anonymous and you should too.

Q: How much do you charge for the different options?

A: The "Standard" prices for options are $80 topless, $120 G-string, and $150 nude. Mutuals (when I feel like offering them) are $200. But with the wacky economy, we've all been taking liberties with what we charge.

Q: How does "the business" make money? you said audrey doesn't take from your tips, then how does she pay for the business space, etc.?

A: Door fee. It's basically the same cost as a therapeutic massage. From that she pays for the rent, utilities, and our hourly salaries.

Q: Do they have happy ending parlors for women? lol

A: Oh they exist, but I've only heard stories of this from high end day spas where wealthy housewives go. The stories I've heard...

Q: What do you plan to do when you get older?

A: Own a tanning salon.

Q: Do you feel pressured to stay skinny/attractive due to your job?

A: I guess. I've seen some nasty looking girls in my time who still made decent money. But we're not like strippers where the appeal is purely visual. We're hands on (pun intended) so we tend to be more average looking. Also, we can't slut ourselves up for work either, because that would just draw attention. We have to dress and look conservative when at work.

Q: Do you plan to get married and have kids? if so, will your family ever be notified of your career? or would you switch careers?

A: LOL. By then I hope to be a very successful tanning salon operator.

Q: What are the most disgusting/ridiculous/inappropriate things you have ever dealt with from a parlor dude - or owner or co-maseusse for that matter - (and/or one of us jerks from the internet) and how did you handle it??

A: There are like 50 things that come to mind. But I'll save those for a post all by themselves. Short answer: Getting assaulted and almost raped was the worst experience. Getting told to blow the boss to keep my job is next. And finally, I just ignore jerks who say nasty things in the comments. I usually keep their stuff up there just so others can get a kick out of it.

Q: What time am I picking you up on friday?

A: I get off work at 5.

Q: Since you are into happy endings.. What is the size of the longest mr. happy your eyes has laid upon? Can you tell us your vital statistics...

A: 12 inches. As for me, I'm a size 2 with DD cups. And I put it that way because I know those are the only statistics you're interested in hearing. LOL

Q: Understanding you do your best to keep your sessions all business for you - that said - tell us about a time when you got home from work and masturbated thinking about a session earlier in the day.

A: Never. I've had hot customers before, but I've never had the urge to fantasize about it later.

Q: You've mentioned previously how you like to watch a man "shoot" - so tell us about a few memorable experiences where you couldn't believe how much the man "shot" during the release.

A: Guy shot so far - it went straight into his own mouth.

Q: Can you give me a Top 5 list of the best overall bodies you've massaged. I would think the categories should include height/weight/chest/arms/legs/buns/penis/skin tone. Feel free to add other criteria - thanks!

A: Ugh... too much effort. But I can tell you that the best bodies I've ever had the pleasure to work with were professional hockey players. Compared to other professional athletes, THOSE guys are in shape.

Q: During one of your earlier blogs you talked about what you've given for items received - playstation, fixed speeding tix, etc. I was fascinated with this one below - can you give me as much detail as you recall about it?

"He once came in to see her and ended up giving me a foot rub while waiting for her. I absolutely LOVE getting my feet rubbed – probably more than sex. No kidding. He did such a good job, I took him in the bathroom and took care of him right there."

A: I took him straight into the bathroom and gave him a hand release into the sink while I let him squeeze my breasts through my shirt. Very quick and sanitary I must admit.

Q: Have you ever had a couple come in? or multiple people? Or does this happen ever?

A: Rarely. But I once had a couple where the girl just wanted to watch. She sat in a chair while I gave her boyfriend a typical session with Happy Ending. It was her B-day gift to him. She got turned on by watching, but I think she secretly wanted to make sure he only got a hand release and nothing more.

As for multiple people, we occasionally get college kids in groups of 2 or 3 who are too scared to come in by themselves. It's probably some kind of fraternity or dare thing. We usually tell them we're not "that kind of place" then send them home - angry and frustrated.

Q: You know how Letterman has his Top 10 list..well how about CJ's Top 10 or Top 5 list of the best dicks you've given a helping hand...forget about the person attached...just the most memorable dicks and why?

A:
# 5) Professional baseball player with a tiny dick. Laughed about it with the co-workers for weeks (kids - don't use steroids)
# 4) Guy with the super-wide dick (see above). Looked like a mutant worm.
# 3) 12 inch dick. Also see above. Scared the shit ouf of me.
# 2) Dick that made a 90 degree turn left. Freaky.
And the #1 answer...) 12 inch dick again (see above). But this time it was attached to a 70 year old man!!!!

Q: Let's say the shoe is on the other foot...and you walked into a spa for women, knowing you would be getting a happy ending at the finish, from a male masseuse. Based your experience in the industry, knowing quality, professionalism, etc...what would you expect from him, what would you want him to look like, what would you want him to do during the massage, what would you want for your happy ending and how much would you expect to pay?

A: Personally, I wouldn't use any service like that, but I get your point. I guess I'd want him to be good looking AND be a LMT so he knows what's he's doing. And for me, my happy ending would be a fabulous foot rub.

Q: What are your standard prices?

A: See above. But beyond the "options" are the "extras." Those are only offered to Regulars and include things like breast release, butt release, foot worship, etc. I usually charge $50 -$100 for the extras.

Q: How do you deal with customers who are assholes and just don't get it?

A: If they don't get it after a warning, I just throw their ass out and tell the other girls to blacklist him. No money is worth the hassle.

Q: What do you do if you see a client outside of work? As a former sex worker (I did internet porn and was also a domme), I had a very fun encounter running into a well known politician (at the local level) at an event. He was with his wife.

A: Not sure if you mean "meet" outside of work or "bump into" so I'll answer both.

I've only met Sugar Daddies outside of work. And they all knew I'm not full service, so the sessions were similar to what happens in The Business. It's more like a "date" so nothing was ever hurried, they often included dinner and drinks, and there was lots of casual time afterwards. It's funny - SD's have never asked for anything freaky like foot worship, or costumes or anything (other than lingerie).

As for bumping into a client... This is a small town, so it happens every now and then. Personally, it doesn't bother me one bit. But I have learned that the best thing to do is follow the customers lead. If he totally ignores me (i.e. with the wife), then I do the same. But if he says 'hi" then I'll respond. Can't tell you how many times I've gotten the "OH SHIT" look from some guy in a grocery store as he's pushing the cart for his wife.

Q: As a girl that basically tugs guys to survive (eat & pay rent), why are you so adamant that you don't date guys that visit parlors and do you think that it may be hipocritical (looking from the outside in) on your part? Also, would you be hurt if your boyfriend/husband visited a parlor (since you don't consider it a sexual act)?

A: I don't think it's hipocritical. The customers are getting off - I'm not. That's why I won't date a customer, or let anyone I date to visit a parlor.

Q: Are you ever ashamed that you constantly ask for free stuff, like a new car, money for Atlantic City, new computer, etc... Do you notice that you do that, or is it just a by-product of your job (to expect much for doing so little)?

A: I do that as a joke. Now if someone were to actually give me a car or a computer - that would be a whole different matter! At work I'm very careful about who I make such jokes to because more often than not, customers think you owe them if they give you something. Sorry guy, but I didn't ask for that Daughtry CD, so don't think I owe you a double.

And as for expecting so much for doing so little... Hey - handjobs are at market price. If you think I do "so little," I'd like to see you perform a full body massage for 60 minutes to a 250 pound trucker with lower back issues, THEN still have enough strength left in your arms to stroke his dick for 5 minutes.

Q: Would you ever consider having an open relationship or swinging. If not, why? If you have, what would it take to entice you to begin and would you feel comfortable with it long term?

A: Never occurred to me. Believe it or not, I'm the jealous type so the open relationship thing is out. Also, I'm very particular about who I date, so hooking up with a bunch of strangers at a swingers party doesn't appeal to me either.

Q: In previous posts, you've talked about pretending to masturbate for guys, doing a guy with a dildo, finishing them with your feet, and allowing them to finish on "The Girls". How is that different from blowing them with a condom on or having sex with a condom and how do you separate the two psychologically?

A: It's actually quite simple - I won't do anything that involves insertion. So no blowjobs, no fingers and no dildos. If a guy wants to cum on my feet - that's just a mess that can be wiped up and has no other meaning.

Another thing to keep in mind is even though I do have "extras," I don't offer them to everyone. So if a guys wants something above and beyond the hand release, he has to be a Regular and I have to be really comfortable with him.

Q: Have any females ever come in to the Business in search of an erotic massage? Or what about a couples massage? Or a couple where the female wants to watch the male get a happy ending? Have you encountered any of these situations and if not, would you be willing to do any of these if the situation occurred?

A: I answered a similar question last time. Yes, we do have female customers. But no, they are therapeutic massage only and have no idea about the other side of The Business. Once I had a couple where the girl wanted to watch her boyfriend get a happy ending. Other than that, the session was normal.

Q: CJ, Do most guys shoot when they cum? Or are most of them dribblers?

A: Most are shooters, but not very far. Sort of a combinaton I guess.

Q: How many guys have you slept with in your life?

A: Yikes. Wow. Including 1 night stands? Jeez. Let's just say that I've had about 6 serious boyfriends so far.

Q: What was it like the first bunch of times you got cum in your hair and on your face? Did you find it gross or was it no big deal? Have you ever titty fucked in your private life?

A: It's totally gross and I hate it. First, it's just nasty because it smells and it's hard to clean up. And second, you pretty much have to jump in the shower to get it out - then your hair is fucked up for the rest of the shift. It's just a pain.

The face isn't so bad as long as it doesn't get in the eyes. In that case - that shit burns! Then you're stuck with red-eye for the rest of the day and all the other girls will look at you and say "Allergies huh?... yeah right..."

I was titty fucking before I started in The Business. That's when I learned to start calling it a "Breast Release."

Q: Is your boss hot?

A: Audrey is hot for an aging rocker chick who got stuck in an 80's time warp. I swear - her hair style hasn't changed in 25 years. But a lot of guys seem to dig her.

Q: Do your customers have to sign a waiver?

A: No. It's hard enough trying to get them to use a real first name.

Q: What is the largest and longest cumshot you have seen?

A: Longest one hit the wall behind the guys head. Made him clean it up too. I don't know about the largest, but I have seen guys that must have been saving it for a month because their orgasm seems to last a full minute and that shit just keeps pumping out. And it doesn't freak me out either - I get a kick out of it like satisfaction of a job well done.

Q: Another blogger and I were talking about yours and commented how awesome it would be to have a female version of it. Amazing what beer does to your thought process. I'm sure that wouldn't be very realistic, would it?

A: There was a guy in my massage school who used to tell stories like this. Let me make a phone call and get back to you on this one!

Q: So do most masseuses get paid a salary or commission? They don't work just off their tips do they? Thanks

A: Depends on the place. I would say most probably pay their girls off the books, or they work for tips alone.


All right - I did it!!! I answered all your questions, now I can take a nice long nap.

CJ

Freak of the Week - The Millionaire

I know I'm supposed to be answering questions, but I just had to tell you this story from Labor Day weekend.

I've had this one Regular for maybe about a year or so. He comes in every 2 or 3 months. Normally we just chit chat during session, but last weekend I asked him what his story was. He explained to me that he's now comfortably retired at the ripe old age of 43.

Now we get a lot of guys in here claiming to be rich. Sometimes you can tell and sometimes you can't. I mean, anyone can drive up here in a Hummer - but that doesn't prove that you're rich, it only proves you have poor taste in cars. My personal technique is to see what the guys wearing - in particular his shoes and watch.

Anyway, "Frank" is a millionaire. His story is when he was 20, his parents won the lottery. Now instead of just giving a chunk of change to their sons Frank and Ernest, they turned it into a challenge. The parents put away a million bucks each into 2 trust funds for the sons. But here's the catch - the money would be turned over in 20 years ONLY if they had 1 million bucks CASH in the bank.

So at the tender young age of 20, Frank became a financial planning expert. He worked hard, socked away as much as he could in savings and investments, and basically led a rather disciplined life until he could cash in at the age of 40. He said it wasn't that bad when you think about it - he just had to add $50k to his assets every year.

So when the trust fund became available 3 years ago, he just cashed in all his stocks, bonds, real estate, etc (and with the booming economy back then he had more than enough to qualify for the money). It didn't hurt either that the million had been collecting interest for 20 years. And as part of the plan, Frank quit his job and retired at the age of 40.

Frank is not my Freak of the Week. Now I bet you weren't planning on me saying that in this story, did you? LOL

Ernest also got his money.

Franks brother was 18 when the game began, and just like Frank, Ernest worked hard and socked away every penny into savings. But unlike Frank, he relied more on savings than investing, so virtually every penny he earned went into the bank.

And apparently that was the problem.

Ernest became slowly obsessed with earning money and socking it away. His social life vanished because he was too cheap to go anywhere. He moved out of his apartment for a boarding house because it was cheaper. And he started taking advantage of everyone if it could save him a buck.

Then about 5 years before the deadline, something in him just snapped. It became almost impossible for Ernest to spend any money. He started living in his car. He would rummage through garbage cans for food. For all intents and purposes, he started living like a homeless guy, which is odd because he still had a good job as an equipment operator at the local plant.

Frank said his brother was pretty much normal in every other way, except he lived this homeless lifestyle. So when he became eligible for the trust fund at the age of 38, he took the money. BUT NOTHING CHANGED. Even today - you might see this guy downtown going through a dumpster for food - AND HE'S A MILLIONAIRE. Go figure.

I was like totally shocked when I heard this story. In my opinion, this would be the definition of Hell. A million bucks in the bank, but mentally incapable of spending it. I joked with Frank that he should send him here and maybe we could get him to lighten up a bit. He said we would regret it because Ernest stopped showering a long time ago... Ewwwwww.

Now for those of you who are only interested in stories with happy endings, don't worry. I'm still working on those answers for next week, so please feel free to keep asking questions in that post. Have a good weekend!

CJ

ANSWERS!!!! (Part 1)

HOLY SHIT you guys are curious. OK, when I first had the idea to answer questions, I figured I was being lazy by making you guys do half the typing. But crap - you guys had me blushing on some of those. I promise I'll answer all of you guys, but I'll do it over a couple of posts. So here goes...

Q: OK, I'll be the first to ask a question. I don't mind parking my Jaguar in the lot of a topless bar, but I've never had the nads to visit a massage parlour. Have you ever heard of anyone taking license plate numbers and blackmailing patrons? Are there any other privacy concerns you can talk about? ...And a followup question, if you don't mind. What's the best online resource for rating parlours?

A: I've never seen anyone record licenses before, but occasionally we'll get a police car parked across the street to kinda scare away customers. Usually lasts about a day. And then when they come back as customers (we get a lot of cops, both local and state) they tell us that it was because a "concerned citizen" made a call, so they had to do something just for show.

I don't follow the rating websites that closely. As long as no one is saying anything bad about us (or using real names), I just ignore them.

Q: Ok, questions, im planning to visit a massage parlour next weekend and yes its gonna be my very first visit,do i pay the money upfront on the counter before we go in or after? ya other blogs did mention about asking the options and extras before the session starts, do u mean we ask all this on the counter or insider the room when im naked?? if u know what i mean, and yes im kinda nervous since its gonna be my first time and honesttly i really do need that massage with a little twist at the end

A: Money up front is just for the room. Tip inside is for the massage and options. I offer options after the customer is in the room and expect to be paid then. NOTHING about options is discussed outside the room, and if you bring it up we'll change the subject.

Q: You often refer to your old "Internet Sugar Daddy Days". Can you tell us more about that? I'm considering seeking a sugar baby. Did it ever work out well for either party?

A: I could do a whole post on this topic alone - so I proabably will later. But here's the shorts answer. A couple years ago when I was between boyfriends and just bored, I went on line to a couple of those sugardaddy websites. Had the weirdest conversations with guys claiming to be Wall Street big shots and Hollywood producers. Exchanged phone numbers with a couple. Met only 1 - and he turned out to be just a married travelling salesman who was just really lonely.

Q: What's the working life for a topless masseuse? strippers start rotating out at age 25, NFL players usually only average 3 years. and what's your plan for a second act?

A: Let me put it to you this way... my boss is pushing 50 and she still has more Regulars than any of us (she's a dirty slut too, but that's just me thinking out loud). I would say average age is 35. Young girls are rare in this business - I was sort of a novelty when I started. When I retire the masseuse table I plan on starting a tanning salon with the money I've socked away.

Q: So what's the smallest and or largest guy u ever tugged, and did you laugh or giggle at the size? Or when you saw mandingo, were you remotely curious, or just grossed by the sheer size.

A: Both ends of the scale I would call medical freaks. The smallest was the size of my thumb when fully erect. Largest is broken into width and length. Longest I'd say was about 12 inches - I didn't have a ruler on me. The widest one I ever worked with was barely big enough for me to put both my hands around - and it was by far the freakiest thing I've ever seen. The long one just scared me.

Q: How many times does a guy have to visit you (or how often does a guy have to visit you) to be considered a "regular" or "VIP"?

A: A "Regular" is anyone who sees me (and just me) on a regular basis, whether weekly, monthly, or even quarterly. I'll call someone a Regular after his 3rd visit. I guess I'd call a VIP anyone who routinely tips above and beyond the standard. And to be called a "Sugar Daddy" you have to tip GENEROUSLY beyond the standard.

Q: Is there any usual tip vs. door fee scale that nubes or rookies should expect?

A: I can only speak for The Business, but the house fee is standard no matter how many times you visit. You pay for the amount of time you spend in the room and is identical in price to a therapeutic massage place.

Q: If one takes a shower before visiting an mp, can one skip the TS/stand-up shower? (These seem to be common in NJ/NY)

A: Yes - they are used most often by customers AFTER the massage. We only insist on using it before the massage if the guy has some B.O. issues.

Q: Have you ever considered being an independent and working from an apartment? I don't know about the market where you are, but in most places you can get $120-180 per hour. You get to keep the full amount, but then you have your expenses such as rent, web site and such. But it seems to work for a lot of women and I've found the experience much better than a parlor.

A: No. As you can tell, I value my privacy and the last thing I need is a string of guys knocking on my door. As for a 2nd apartment - I wouldn't feel safe working by myself like that.

Q: 1) Is there anything we can do to get the happy ending if the masseuse doesn't bring it up at all? I've gotten nothing at a place from one person while a different person gave me the HE.

A: I've said it before and I'll say it again - you should never have to bring up the Happy Ending. If it's not being offered, there's a reason. Either they don't do it, or you're not eligible - yet. I would suggest asking the girl who gave you the HJ if the entire business offers happy endings.
Remember guys - if you've been to a place a couple of times and they've offered you NOTHING - then you're in a legitimate therapeutic place. We make most of our money offering options, so if they're not being offered to you, then don't embarass yourself by asking.

Q: When do we ask for extras? The place I have gone to, which does do the HE, hasn't offered any other extras. Do I just ask? I asked another person there and they just laughed and i didn't even GET the HE.

A: Sounds like you got lucky and she's offering you the Happy Ending on the side. If that's the case, DO NOT ask the other girls for one so she doesn't get fired. But since the HE door has been opened, feel free to ask for extras. But I have a feeling that if she's secretly giving handjobs on the side, then she's probably not likely to get topless.

Q: I would like to try the prostate massage -- is that common?

A: Hell no. That's a specialty you really have to ask around for.

Q: When is the last time you sucked a guy off? What have you learned from the parlor that you can you use on a boyfriend or person you're having sex with? How much is the most you've made in one year?

A: Thank you for showing an interest... Anyway, I won't answer that directly, but let's just say that I got laid about a month ago. As for the work tricks I bring home - I did a post about this a while ago. I don't bring any home. Guys I'm dating usually don't want handjobs and rarely ask for massages (believe it or not). During my prime, I got over 6 figures in cash during that 2-3 years when the economy was booming.

Q: How do I go and find a Massage parlor that offers options in my town? What are things to look for? Is it mostly word of mouth that is the advertising of such parlors?

A: Start with the phone book and look for places that DO NOT advertise as "therapeutic" or with LMTs on staff. Next, try the weekly entertainment rag - most towns have them and the seedy ads are in the back. We rely mostly on the weekly rag and our billboard - not word of mouth.


Phew - that was tough! I promise to get to the rest of them later, but in the meanwhile, feel free to keep 'em coming!

CJ

Q&A 2: Free For All

Hey guys. Once again it's yours truly reporting to you live from the worlds slowest computer in her living room. I'm sorry, but I hate this damn thing so much that I really haven't been in the mood to write much lately.

So to make it up to you, I decided to post some new pics from an orgy that we hosted at The Business for a porn star convention that was recently in town...

Yeah right. Anyway, what I did decide to offer you guys is another Q&A session since I have been sooooooo bad lately at getting back to all of you who've had questions recently - especially the ones you asked during the Readers Poll.

So please feel free to ask (or in most cases re-ask) whatever you want to know. Even the shit that I've talked about a hundred times before. I promise I won't tell you to go back and read anything! LOL. And those of you who posted a question recently - just ask it again so I won't forget this time.

Ask whateveryou want. Business questions, massage parlor etiquette, prices, options, boyfriends, sex, whatever.

Thanks guys! And have a great Labor Day weekend!

CJ

The New Girl

Sorry I haven't been around lately, but my fucking laptop got a virus and now it's shot. It's not completely dead, but it has been coughing up blood. I've been reduced to using my old computer at home. Ugh - it took me forever to get it up and running. So if there are any particularly generous gentlemen out there who would like to ensure I can update regularly, please feel free to send me a new laptop (did you honestly think I paid for the old one?).

Anyway, enough bitching and moaning about my problems. I want to tell you about the new girl. Things have been picking up around here so Audrey hired Carla to cover some of the problem shifts where we never seemed to have enough help. The problem though is that these shifts were a mess because it was summer and no one wanted to work them. Now that summer is over, we don't need the help.

So I guess we're stuck with Carla. I'm afraid that Audrey is going to put her only on shifts where she won't cut into HER clients. Already I'm expecting the worse. But oh well - watcha gonna do?

Carla is nice enough I guess. Not much of a talker, but not uncomfortable to be around either. She came from a Business much closer to the city, but has recently moved out here to the country. She's Italian and looks it. Very pretty face. She's also very curvy, and by that I mean her top half is balanced out by her bottom half. She has a 2 year old girl and is attending the local community college. So when she tells a customer she's a poor, struggling student - she ain't kidding (that reminds me that I need to get off my ass one of these days and go back to school).

She's working out OK so far, but during our first shift together, she gave a customer a topless hand release for $30. When she told me I nearly flipped out. Turns out that Audrey gave her almost NO direction when she started. I recalibrated her so now she knows the proper prices and to NEVER cut them - OR ELSE.

Now I know for a fact that the place she comes from is full service. But, she claims she only did hand jobs there. It might be true since I used to be in that same situation, plus she doesn't seem to give off that full-service vibe. But if she does do something stupid, I'm sure I'll find out eventually. And the last thing we need is a girl doing full service behind everyone else's back.

Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to throw this old antique computer out the window. This thing must have frozen about 12 times since I started typing this evening and I'm about to blow a fuse. So if I disappear for a couple of weeks - it's because I went postal on this piece of crap. I know I could go to the public library and use their computers, but I think I'd feel slightly self conscious trying to describe my latest freak in diapers and high heels, while sitting next to an old lady buying quilts on e-bay.

CJ