A Good Hand is Hard to Find

One of you guys asked why we don’t just post want ads up at the local strip clubs. Well, the short answer is no. The long answer is hell no.

But the REALLY long answer is this. Contrary to popular belief, erotic massage is more related to massage therapy than it is to stripping. To demonstrate this, I’m going to break down a typical 45 minute session into its 3 essential components.

Part 1 – Getting Naked
Part 2 – Massaging
Part 3 – Happy Ending

Part 1 is the only thing that the 2 worlds of erotic massage and stripping have in common. That part requires no skill and takes up only 1 minute of the session. A stripper may try to stretch this out to 5 minutes at the most, but any longer and the customer will complain about how he’s getting gypped out of a massage.

Part 3 requires almost no experience, and even then it can easily be satisfied with On-The-Job training. This part usually takes about 5 minutes, and even a stripper won’t try to stretch this out any further than necessary.

So that still leaves about 35 minutes for part 2 - the massage. Now anyone experienced in therapeutic massage can easily spend 35 minutes delivering a half-way decent workout to all major portions of the body including the neck, upper and lower back, legs, arms and upper chest. Meanwhile, someone with no experience can manage only 15 minutes of the typical “girlfriend” quality, neck/upper back massage before she runs out of material and energy. This is the main reason why we try not to hire strippers (or anyone with no experience for that matter).

At my last business I worked with a bunch of different strippers, and the customers always said the same thing about them – “Great to look at – lousy massage.” Another problem with strippers is that they’re not very reliable workers. Stripping tends to pay better than massaging, so we were usually the 2nd job. This meant they were always missing shifts if there were any conflicts.

So there you have it - this is why strippers make lousy erotic masseuses. If you still want to get a handjob from a stripper, I would suggest going to the Champagne room or whatever you call it at your local strip club.

If there are any current or ex-strippers reading this mess, please feel free to add your comments. No offense to any of you – this is just my experience.

CJ