Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Now Hiring

Hey guys...  Long time I know.  With the good weather and the pick up in business, the last thing I felt like doing was sitting down in front of a computer.  In fact, I've barely had the time.  Let me explain...
I think I mentioned last time that we hired a new girl.  Well, that was soooooooooo 20 minutes ago.  Since then we've actually gone through 3 girls.  Ya see, spring is here and Trina and I want help so we can finally do that Vegas trip we've been talking about forever.  Heck, I'd be happy to get a whole weekend off at this point.  So I've gotten to the point where I'll pretty much hire anything that walks through the door with tits and no visible needle tracks.

Yes, it's that bad.  You would think it's easy to find a girl with massage experience who's also:

Clean looking
Pleasant conversation

I'm sorry, but I guess my list forgot to mention FULL SERVICE and VIOLENT PIMP because that seems to be the only kind of girls who apply.

It's been a month now since I hired a pretty little Mexican girl. She walked in and asked for a job.  I hired her on the spot when she said she used to work at a place I'm familiar with.  That place was notoriously full service, so I should have kept an eye on her.  In fact, I should have suspected something when on her first day she had like 6 appointments already lined up.  I mean it's not unusual for girls in The Business to have fans that will follow from place to place, but that was just ridiculous.  

Her brief employment went something like this... 

Day 1 - Amazingly busy
Day 2 - Insanely busy
Day 3 - Suspiciously busy
Day 4 - Why are you so busy?
Day 5 - What do you mean you've been advertising The Business as full service on the internet?
Day 6 - You're fired

It turns out she was advertising her services without my knowledge.  Not that The Business wasn't making money -  we were cleaning up on the door fee.  But as you all know, we are not supposed to be a full service establishment, and the LAST thing I need is someone posting that all over the internet.  

And that was just the first girl I hired.  

Then there was Girl #2 - a skinny, pale, quiet girl with a massage license.  Mind you, it was from a different state, but at that point I didn't care.    She showed up on time!  She did a good job!  The customers liked her!  I think she's going to ...hey wait a minute... why is her boyfriend sitting out in the parking lot all day?

Actually it was Maude who noticed.  Maude sees everything.  And she noticed on the second day that there was a guy sitting in a car outside all day long.  At first she thought it was someone scoping out The Business, but then Girl #2 went out to the car a couple of times during her shift.  

Maude told me all about it the next day, so when #2 came in I sat her down and told her that we can't afford to have anyone hanging out like that.  We are not the only business at this address, and people lurking in the parking lot is not a my idea of keeping a low profile.  So she went outside and a few minutes later a car went tearing out of the parking lot.  Problem solved.

The next day, #2 was scheduled for the evening shift with Trina.  According to her, #2 was dropped off by the boyfriend around 4.  Then around 7, this guy comes storming into The Business and starts demanding to know where #2 is.  Before Trina can say anything, she comes running up from the back room and begs the guy to go outside to "talk."  They go outside where there is even more yelling.  #2 comes back in, runs to the back and then runs back out, hands something to the boyfriend, then he leaves.  She later tells Trina that he was upset because he needed some cash for dinner and it was nothing.  

Trina called me that night and told me everything so I wouldn't be surprised the next time it happened.  I had #2 for the next morning shift.  But lucky for me I also had Maude.

The Boyfriend came storming in around noon.  I guess he hadn't had lunch yet because he was screaming something about "my money."  As Trina described before, #2 came running up, handed him a wad of cash, and he disappeared.  

Maude pulled me aside and we talked for a while about what to do.  I mean, #2 was a decent enough worker, but I couldn't have this kind of drama going on in a setting that requires discretion.  I said we can't afford to let this happen again.  Maude said "I got this one."

Two days later, during the day shift there was another "episode" with #2 and boyfriend.  Trina was there and she told me that he came bursting in and yelling again.  But this time Maude stepped out from behind the desk and actually got the guy to go outside.  Something was said and he left before #2 could come running up with the contents of her purse.  That night I got the call from #2 that this job wasn't for her and she was moving on.

To this day I still have no idea what Maude said to this guy, but I guess when you live in her neighborhood, your people skills are slightly more robust than usual.  Thank goodness she works the front desk instead of me!


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Trina's Tale

Since you've guys have been asking, I'm starting a new thing where I feature stories from Trina - when I can squeeze them out of her.  Let me tell ya, getting her to say anything even half way interesting is like pulling teeth.  And I'm calling it "Trina's Tale" because it's her stories, but it can also be a reference to her ass.  Get it?  Am I a witty genius or what!

Anyway, I figured I'd start it now instead of updating you on the nonsense which is The Business, because I don't know if I ever want to go through the process of extracting gossip out of Trina ever again.  Let me explain.

It all started a few weeks ago when Trina revealed to me that she can actually get herself off during a session.  In fact, not only can she have an orgasm in front of a client, she practically insists upon it.     Heck, sometimes she even forgets to charge extra for the show!

Well, a couple days ago I finally had an opportunity to grill her about what else she does in the room that I don't know about.  Turns out to be quite a lot.  But I thought her most interesting story was and still is the masterbation show.  This is where she takes care of her own business (sometimes with the help of toys) while the client watches.  This is not terribly shocking since I do my own variation of this, except that I fake the finger insertion and the orgasm.

Trina does not.

In fact, she feels that she owes the customer the very best O-face that she can deliver each time.  Now that's what I call customer service.  In her own words, "They're paying me and I like cumming.  It's a win-win for everyone.  Right?"

So I asked her all sorts of questions... How often do you get a request for this extra?  How much do you charge?  Do you allow the guys to help out, or is it strictly hands off?  Do they typically just watch or do they take care of their own business?  I mean, I was looking at Trina in a whole new light and I was truly fascinated and curious.  How often does a girl you've known for half your life really surprise you with something new?

Well here are the facts as presented by Trina:

1) She charges $40 for the show.  Why not round it off at $50 you ask?  "Because most guys only carry $20's on them."

2) Since she's been doing this for a while, word has spread and about half her Regulars ask for it each and every time they do a session.

3) She does not allow the guys to "help out" during the show, but she does allow a select few to rub her legs or even breasts.  In fact, she says her favorite position is to sit on the guys lap and finger herself while he massages her breasts.  According to her, there's nothing like a good nipple pinch to help move things along.

4) Most guys take care of their own business while she takes care of hers.  She said it's a great perk when a customer is willing to do what is essentially her job.  Shit - even I have to agree with her on this one.

Finally I asked her what was the wildest session she's ever had.  And this brings us to my next installment of Freak of the Week.  Gary - The Toy Boy.

When she began to tell me the story of Gary, I remembered him.  He was a Regular of hers for a couple years.  Short guy, balding, with little round glasses.  I remember him as being very quiet.  At least he never said 2 words to me whenever I was working the front desk.  He was Trina's biggest fan for reasons I will make apparent.

He enjoyed her masterbation show, and over the course of time took it to new levels.  She was comfortable enough with him to allow him to start bringing in toys.  We're talking various kinds of dildos, vibrators, etc.  Standard rules applied - toys are OK as long as they are new and in the box.  That's my rule too.  So after a short while, she began to build up a pretty substantial collection.  

Well, she couldn't bring them home to her boyfriend, and she couldn't leave them at work (another standard rule - nothing incriminating can be kept on site such as toys, lingerie, etc.).  So Gary began toting this ever increasing toy collection to and from each session.

Things between them began to get a little more personal.  And this is one of those points in our conversation where I had to pry really hard to get the real story out of Trina.  I kept trying to get her to explain the word "personal" and she confessed that she eventually gave Gary the OK to use the toys on her.  In other words, he was allowed to use a dildo on her while she worked her clit with her own fingers.  

I have to admit, I was totally shocked by this admission.  I used to think she was a prude (well, at least as prudish as jerking guys off for a living can get).  And then Trina tells me "Hold on... letting a guy work a dildo is nothing.  You wanna know the weird thing?"

Well asking me if I wanted to know more was kinda overly dramatic.  I mean I spent an hour of badgering, pressuring and even threatening just to get to that juicy little tidbit about the toys.  Now she's offering up the "weird thing?"  

"Do tell" I said.

"After a while Gary started to get more bold and would make all sorts of new suggestions.  Most of them were an automatic 'no' on my part.  But some were OK, like would I wear high heels, or pretend I was a nun, or suck on one dildo while he fucked me with another."  

My head was spinning too, but bear with me while I finish this story...

"And then one day Gary straight up asked me 'Can I fuck you with a strap on?'  A strap on what? I asked.  I was confused - wasn't a 'strap on' something that dykes used on each other?  Gary explained that since he couldn't actually fuck me, the next best thing would be to wear a fake dick and fuck me with it instead."

So Trina explained in gory detail how Gary brought in a genuine harness with a small selection of attachments.  Trina picked out something that wasn't too intimidating and gave Gary the OK.  I guess his junk was packed behind the base of the dildo, so he would at least get the sensation of thrusting his pelvis as if he were actually fucking her.  Trina said they tried it  at first from behind, and with the help of lots of lube, she actually managed to get off. 

In later sessions, she allowed him to "fuck" her from on top - missionary style.  I asked her if he really got off on this, and she said "OH YEAH. - It was pretty damn real for him."  It was so real to him, in fact, that he would be fucking her and in mid stride start cumming inside the harness.  

I thought I had seen it all until I heard this story.  Now I feel like I'm the prude around here.  And that's Trina's Tale - who knew?


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

It Never Rains....

Hi guys.  Sorry it's been so long but all the drama around here makes it hard to think sometimes.  And to make it worse, it's all crap I don't want to talk about.  Makes for no inspiration in the story department.  But to sum things up, I guess you could say a lot has happened over the last couple of weeks...

1) Derek and I finally had it out
2) Tax refund season has kicked in
3) We hired a new girl
4) Trina is sluttier than I thought
5) Cindy borrowed money from me
6) Audrey wants back in (kinda)

Now outta all that, the only thing I'm really in the mood to talk about are taxes and maybe the new girl.  Everything else kinda makes my palms sweat, and my breathing shallow.  And I start to see red.  Or cry.  You get my meaning.

Now let me start off by saying that it's nice that all the assholes finally stopped posting their guesses as to where I am located.  I can breathe a sigh of relief over that one and I once again thank Velma for taking care of that little problem for me.  This seems to happen every now and then, and it drives me nuts each time.  I mean, I wish I could just tell the world who I am and where I am, but then again, this is puritanical America and I'd probably be hauled off to jail for that most serious of crimes  -- jerking guys off.  

Anyway, tax season is finally at an end, which means it's my favorite season of all - tax refund season.  That is a massage parlors best time of the year.  And it's probably because when you combine all that stress and agony over preparing your taxes, with the giant sigh of relief of getting a big fat check in the mail, you get that perfect storm.  And what do you do when you're a stressed out guy with a fistful of cash?  You crack open that phone book and find your local massage parlor!

Or strip club, or liquor store.  If you're from around here, maybe the bait and tackle shop.

And let me take a moment here to address all you newbies out there that have been asking me questions on how to find your local parlor.  Businesses are all around you, all you have to do is look.  Hell, I had one guy tell me that he read in the paper that a parlor was open right down the street from his house in the middle of a neighborhood!  The only reason it finally got busted was because the Mama-san who ran the place told the neighbors who politely asked her to turn off the flood lights in the driveway to go fuck themselves.  But my point is that we're a lot closer than you think.

The easiest place to look is the phone book.  Really.  Just crack it open to "massage."  Now skip any place that says "LMT" or "Hair and nails" in the description.  Next, skip any place that sounds asian, and you're probably looking at an ad for a good old fashioned American massage parlor.  OBVIOUS tips in the ad - look for late hours and the words "now hiring."  I don't know why a lot of places want you to know that they're hiring, they just are.  

If the yellow pages don't work for you, try your local weekly entertainment paper.  You know the kind - the free ones in front of the supermarket.   Chances are the back pages are filled with ads for escorts and massage parlors.  

One customer told me that the way he found out about The Business was from a news story on television.  It was all about how a local prostitution ring was busted operating inside some guys house.  But what was so great about the story was that it pointed out 3 very important details:

1)  Escort agencies and parlors place ads in the back of entertainment papers.
2)  This guys business charged $250/hour.
3) This price was "high."

I don't know who writes their news stories, but thanks to him he basically told everyone in the tri-state area where to find a Business.  How much to expect to pay.  And based on the news man's personal experience he has never paid more than $250.

And last but not least there is the internet.  Those of you who have read most of this nonsense I call a blog may have noticed that I don't endorse the internet as a place to find parlors.  That is because The Business does not advertise that way (we are soooooooo 90's).   Not that you won't find something on Craigslist or any of the multiple escort/parlor websites out there.  The problem is that you never know what you're going to get.  

We are a good old fashioned Business located in a dedicated space in a building that you can drive to, walk around, read our sign, chat with Maude, etc.  In cyberspace you don't know what you're getting yourself into.  Hell - anyone remember that guy who robbed and killed girls on craigslist?  A lot of amateur masseuse wannabees are out there, and with only a few minutes of typing, they can convince you they are the erotic masseuse of your dreams.  

But when you get there, you discover it's really a women twice the age she described who looks nothing like the Glamour shot she sent you, inside her dirty, cigarette-smoke filled apartment.  And nothing ruins the mood of a full-body sensual massage quicker than spotting the waste paper basket filled with used condoms and the baby crying in the other room.

THAT is why I suggest you just start with a phone book.  Now cash that damn check and get your ass in here!