Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Freak Of The Week - Everything But The Kitchen Sink

I know I haven't done a freak of the week in a while, but I was recently inspired by a question someone brought up on Twitter.  I have to admit that recently there really hasn't been anyone all that freaky, so I'm going way back in time for this one.
The question was what is the most I've ever charged anyone?  Well, what I charge and what I've been tipped are 2 different things.  My typical sessions are usually around $150.  But when guys are generous, they tip on top of that.  So a couple extra bucks here and there isn't unusual.
As for what I charge, I usually have set prices for what we call "Extras."  Those are anything above and beyond the clothing options.  The most common extras I get requests for are breast release, dirty talk and foot worship.  
For most extras, I usually ask for $50.  Variations in the release (i.e. breast, butt, thigh, foot) I'll charge $100.  But the most expensive thing I charge for is roleplay, which I can get an extra $200 or more - depending on how extensive it is.  
My $50 extras include:
Dirty talk
Foot worship
Doubles (hand release before and after massage)
Lingerie (new with tags)
Heels (new with tags)
Excessive touching
Used panties
In general, these extras are just variations to the standard massage/happy ending session.  "Excessive touching" is more of a penalty than a tip.  If a customer is being too grabby/pinchy, I'll tell him it's an extra $50 and that usually ends it right there.  Now "Posing" is an interesting one.  That's where the customer insists on taking care of his own business, but he wants me in some very specific pose - like bent over a chair, or licking my nipples or something.
The $100 extras include:
Breast, thigh, butt, or foot release
Cum play
Costumes/wigs (new with tags)
Masterbation/Sex toys (new with tags)
Ball busting
In the $100 range, the session is usually less about massage, and more about fetish.  Apart from the different releases, the most common $100 extra is masterbation/sex toys.  But pics/video is quickly gaining in popularity.  This is a tricky one, but I'll allow a customer to tape or photograph his happy ending as long as it does not show my face AND I get final approval.  I've deleted videos/pics that I thought revealed too much.
I charge more for costumes than lingerie because instead of a tiny little piece of fabric to stuff The Girls in, they are usually a complete outfit that involves some complicated ritual to either put on or take off.  Catholic school girl outfit is easily the most common costume, but others include french maid and dominatrix.  Weirdest costume you ask?  Hands down - teddy bear.  Not even a sexy teddy bear either, but a furry body suit with ears to match.
Cum play is simply when the customer wants to ejaculate on anything other than his own belly.  It could be the wall, someone else's belly, whatever.  But the most usual requests are for The Girls and my feet.  Most unusual request?  A guy wanted me to shoot it back into his own mouth.  And it worked too - he was able to twist his head up just enough for me to reach it.  
Costumes are usually combined with cum play, so it ends up being quite a bargain (assuming you define bargain as paying someone to soil their clothes).  I don't know what it is about guys and their costumes, but I'd say 9 times out of 10, that costume is getting a semen stain.  And that 1 time out of 10 is usually because the costume is scattered in pieces on the other side of the room.  
Now this brings me to my most expensive extra - roleplay.  It starts at $200 and goes up depending on how involved it is.  
Most common roleplay scenarios:
Babysitter/School girl
Secretary/girl next door
The whole babysitter thing has been done to death, but it's still one of the common things I get asked to do.  It's pretty much the "you've been a bad girl" theme that usually ends up with a spanking.  As for the secretary/girl next door, I combine those 2 because they are the classic "seduction" fantasy.  I'm either the secretary taking "Dick-tation" or the girl down the block that they've been secretly daydreaming about.  Either way, it's often based on a real girl in their lives who won't give them the time of day.  This time, however, they'll be able to talk her into a handjob.  The babysitter scenario requires a costume, while the secretary one I can usually do in (and out of) my street clothes.
I'm not a domme in my personal life, but I've learned enough over time to cover the basics.  I've even tough-talked a couple men into orgasms.  Masseuse is my personal favorite roleplay.  Basically, I just play a less slutty version of myself that gets talked into giving a handjob.  Sounds simple, but it involves an active seduction on the guy's part for the entire session.  I end up saying a lot of things like "that's not allowed!" or "don't touch me there!" before finally switching to "OK... just this once."
Weirdest roleplay?  Little Bo Peep who lost her sheep.  Not kidding.  Had a full costume and everything (which ended up in a semen covered pile in the corner of the room).  And the roleplay I will not do under any circumstances?  "Daddy's little girl" and "Sex slave."  I'll do domination stuff, but on the flip side I will NOT do slave stuff.  Too risky to put yourself in that situation.  And the daddy stuff just freaks me out, so don't even think about asking.
And finally that brings me to the Freak of the Week.  This was the single most expensive session I ever had.  I remember this guy specifically because he didn't care how much anything cost.  This was back in 2007 when EVERYONE had money.  I would not have been surprised if he was a drug dealer, mobster, or just robbed a bank.
Anyway, he had a very specific scenerio he wanted to play out.  He wanted me to answer to "Tina" - a bartender who just finished her shift.  He was a customer who wanted to seduce her (roleplay - $200).  I guess you could say it involved a costume because he had a T-shirt and sweatpants from a local college that I had to wear (costume - $100).  
"Tina" was supposed to talk dirty to him, until he got a hard-on (Dirty talk - $50).  At that point, he would pull off the T-shirt and then "tear-off" my bra.  He didn't have a new bra with tags, so I basically had to sell him mine (bra - $50).  Then while I'm topless, I would begin to use my hand on him.  When he was about to cum, he would make me stop and pull the sweatpants off me.  He didn't want me fully nude because he also wanted to buy my panties when we were done ($50).  Finally, he would bend me over the table and do a butt release with my G-string in place ($100).  Total price - $550.

Being able to sweet talk that little tramp Tina into jerking him off and cumming on her ass - priceless.


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Trina's Tale: The Never-Ending Full Service

Trina keeps suprising me ever since I finally got her to open up.  I mean here we are co-workers and best friends, and it turns out she has a very sordid past.  I couldn't believe the latest bomb she dropped on me.


That's right - my boring as wallpaper co-therapist took a walk on the dark side.  Or at least tried to.  It's complicated.

Apparently it happened around 2 years ago when business tanked,.  We were all hurting for money (myself included) and she said things got pretty desperate.  I remember back then that she lost a lot of Regulars.  And it didn't help that the walk-ins pretty much dried up too. 

She had this one customer that had asked about full service, and she explained that we're not that kind of place.  We'll call him Harvey.  He seemed OK with it, and went on with a regular session.  Then at the end, he told her that if she changes her mind, please give him a call.  And that was that.

Before I go on, let me explain that we have situations like this all the time,and it's really not a big deal.  Guys ask to fuck, to go down on them (or us), finger us, etc.  We just politely decline and tell them what we are and are not willing to do.  And leaving a phone number or business card is also perfectly normal.  

Well, around this time, Trina said she was already flat broke and was desperate to make ends meet.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - sometimes you're just one paycheck away from blowing some guy in a truck stop.  So she dug Harvey's number out of her purse and gave him a call.

"Uh... Harvey?  This is Trina.  From The Business?  Yeah, well I thought about what you said and I'm OK with it.  Yeah that's fine.  How about 7pm?  Where?  Uh...  Red Lobster."

Red Lobster?  Yes, she actually said Red Lobster.    Trina offered to meet a stranger for sex at a Red Lobster.  Of course sex between strangers at Red Lobster happens all the time, but most people prefer to call it "First Dates."

She meets him at the bar and he buys her a drink.  They start some nervous chit-chat when the bartender asks her if there's anything else they need.  Trina asks for a menu and orders dinner. 

At this point in the story, I asked her if she was planning a really strenuous hour of animal fucking and needed serious carbs to keep her going.  She said, "No, I was hungry."  

So now their little outcall appointment has turned into some kind of quasi-date, with Harvey racking up the expenses.  But at least they finally relaxed enough after the first round of drinks to start talking business.  Trina can't tell a story to save her life, so I'm going to summarize here what probably happened...

Trina:  So what did you have in mind?
Harvey: I don't know, straight sex.  What exactly will you do?
Trina:  I don't know.  I've never had sex with a customer before.
Harvey: Don't you have some kind of idea of what you want to do and for how much?
Trina: Well maybe we can bounce some things around and figure it out.

And this nonsense must have gone on for 45 minutes, or at least until the bill finally came.  I know, because I know Trina and this is how she negotiates EVERYTHING.  Whether it's what movie to go see or what to charge for a rim-job, the decision making process is always like pulling teeth with her.  In that exchange just replace the word "sex" with "Spiderman movie" and you'll get the idea.   I really felt sorry for Harvey at this point.

After Harvey pays the bill, they have finally decided on what to do and for how much.  She agreed to a "standard sex session" for $200 (NOT including the price of her meals and drinks).  Now they just have to figure out where to go.  A hotel?  His place? Her place?  Back of the car?   And the whole tooth-pulling process begins all over again...

After several more minutes, they decide on her place since it's close by.  She gives him directions and they drive over in separate cars.  As they pull up, she realizes her "Check Engine" light is on.  In a moment of panic, she asks Harvey what she should do, and he suggests dropping it off at the dealership.  So, she does what every working girl does before fucking her client - she asks him to drive across town to drop her car off.

It's now 3 hours into Harvey's full service "standard sex session" and they haven't even held hands yet.  What's that you say?  Dinner and a car trip couldn't possibly take 3 hours!  Oh I'm sorry... did I forget to mention that she made him stop at her friends house on the way back to pick something up?    Apparently what most people call errands, Trina calls foreplay.

They finally get back to her place - inside even.  And I can only guess Harvey's reaction to all the cat toys and Precious Moments figures on every flat surface.  Raging hard-on, right?  I hate going over there because of all the cat hair.  But the little bright eyed figurines kinda freak me out too.

She tells him to make himself comfortable, when Harvey finally speaks up.  "Hey, I gotta go soon so could we get started?"  Ahhh... the words every girl loves to hear.  And since she's never done full service before, she just takes a cue from work and tells him to go in the bedroom and get naked.  

Let me tell you that Trina's bedroom is usually a disaster area.  Between all the clothes lying around, and the sleeping cats, I bet Harvey had a time figuring out where to get "comfortable."  Somehow he manages and then Trina comes in and gets naked.

Now according to her, she said she wasn't going to do ANYTHING without a condom.  So she fished around in the nightstand and found a pack.  Then she worked Harvey with her hands until he was good and hard enough for her to put the rubber on him.  Trina said her whole professional life flashed before her eyes while she looked at this cock and realized what she was about to do with it.  So she closed her eyes and made the switch from "Erotic Masseuse" to "Escort" with one big gagging motion.

Trina's the first girl I know to quickly admit that she hates sucking dick.  And to make it worse, she's now doing it with a nasty tasting condom - which she has never done before with guys she's dated.  So this was a new experience for her - and a really unpleasant one made even worse.  

Men love blowjobs.  I know, I've dated men so take my word for it.  And if there's one thing I've learned about the art of giving head, there is nothing that turns a guy on more than a girl's total lack of enthusiasm.  Right?  The tightly shut eyes, the upturned nose, the look of disgust, and the purely mechanical motions  really get a guy going.  So Harvey must have been in heaven because this is pretty much how Trina described what happened.

She said that after a few minutes of rather un-inspired dick sucking, Harvey started to lose his erection.  Whether it was her lack of technique, or perhaps the cats on the bed staring at him, we'll never know.  What we do know is that he tried to manually correct the situation, but to no avail.  She apologized and said she would make it up to him later.

And she was not kidding.  A week later, she called him and tried to set up another "date."  Even offered to clean the place up and cook dinner for him.  They tried to set things up a couple times, but it always fell through.  Eventually, he stopped calling her back.  I asked if she got paid that first night, and she said yes.  And that was why she felt guilty and kept calling him for a makeup session.  She later decided that maybe escort work wasn't her cup of tea.

Trina may not have been the world's greatest hooker, but at least she was a fully guaranteed one.  


Thursday, July 5, 2012

Confessions of an Erotic Tweeter - Continued...

I started tweeting this week because I thought it would be fun to add a new "as it happens" perspective to The Business.  Not that I've ever really tried it before - I mean I'm used to sitting down and telling a whole story at a time, not a sentence or two.  It's totally different from what I'm used to saying because in a tweet I don't have room to really explain anything.

For example, I thought it would be kinda fun to try to tweet something while performing a happy ending.  Real simple, right?  Just type a few words on my phone with my right hand, while the left hand takes care of business.  Then we can all have a good laugh.

Holy shit - I didn't realize what a pain in the ass this can be.  First off, I couldn't find any customers willing to let me tweet about their session.  I've never seen such scared looks on customers before!  You would have thought I suggested taking their pic and texting it to their wife for goodness sake.

Second, I kinda forgot about the physical impracticalities of using the cell phone during a hand release.  I figured it would be easy since I always keep my phone on me during session.  I mute the phone, then put it next to the bottle stand so the customer can't see it from the table, but I can see the screen light up if anyone calls/texts. 

What I forgot about is that I use baby oil during the hand release, so I couldn't touch my phone even if I wanted to!  I tend to use both hands for the ending, which means I would have to plan on moving the phone over to the massage table and then starting the handjob with my left hand.  Meanwhile my customer has to be cool with all this nonsense, and if there's anything a guy does not appreciate during a happy ending it's distractions.

Then one customer seemed cool with the idea, but he ended up asking for a breast release, which made it impossible to use the phone at all.  Even though I keep my hands dry for those, I need both of them to keep The Girls in place else the angles and positions just don't work... it's complicated.

And finally, do you know how hard it is to clean semen off a phone?  Take it from me - a girl who's seen it happen to a couple customers who thought it would be fun to video their own happy ending.  You wanna hear something mean?  When a guy asks to tape the hand release, I wait until he's about ready to cum, then I deliberately aim his load at the camera.  Of course I apologize innocently afterwards.  "I'm sorry...  I didn't realize you were going to have such a big load!  When was the last time you got laid?  Jeez."

Well, I'll keep trying to get that elusive tweet in the middle of the action, just give me some time.  In the meanwhile, it's kinda fun to just say whatever I want about work as it's happening.  It's the kind of thing I can never do with most friends and family.


Monday, July 2, 2012

Confessions of an Erotic Tweeter

Just wanted to let you guys know that I am now on twitter!  Check me out at happyendingzcj.

I figured it would be more fun to tweet shit while it happens!