Thursday, October 27, 2011

How 'bout them Eagles?

I'm not sure when this place turned into a total discussion about infidelity, but somehow it has. I blame myself because this is what happens when I keep my mouth shut and don't write as often as I should. So in a way, you guys picked the topic.

Now I've stated quite clearly how I feel about infidelity, and I don't know if there's anything more I can say on the subject. Yes, I believe that what I do is not cheating on my significant other. But I do consider it cheating if he saw an erotic masseuse. I don't consider that hypocritical, because it's my definition and it works for me. And what works for me is my own business, and probably doesn't work for most people. I never said it would.

And for those of you who are 100% positive on how the world works and how I should be defined, you can go fuck yourselves.

Let's face it, to do what I do for a living you have to a have a slightly twisted take on what is "normal." And when you think about it, it's really no different than what the rest of us do with our lives. For example, one of my best friends is a nurse and what's "normal" for her is for people to die. I don't know about you guys, but when I think about it - it's totally fucked up that a dead body can be a normal part of your work day.

On the flip side of that, she thinks that taking off your clothes and giving a total stranger a handjob is fucked up. Go figure. What she considers insane, I call my 2 o'clock. And the same thing goes for everyone out there reading this. If you worked in McDonald's, your "normality" would revolve around fried kangaroo meat and shit stained bathrooms.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all need to keep an open mind around here. My purpose in telling you people all about the wackiness in my life is just to entertain and educate. I give men massages followed by a happy ending, and each week I write about how I delivered my latest one. And that's pretty much it. So I'm still kinda surprised when someone out there gets shocked by anything I have to say.

In other words, if you don't like stories with a happy ending, you're in the wrong place. And that's all I have to say on that. I promise to get back to some stories next time. In fact, I have something funny to say about my nurse friend.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

And Even More Answers...

When I offered you guys to ask whatever you wanted, I wasn't expecting what happened. Apparently, the comments section became a whole discussion on infidelity and the role I may or may not play in it. For those of you who don't normally read the comments, I strongly suggest you read the section here.

I'm not going to repeat the whole thing here, but some very interesting points are brought up. I suggest you read the comments there before catching up here. Now this subject is something that I can't do justice to in a single post, so I may address this more seriously later. But for now, I'll just continue with the questions so I can finally catch up...

Anonymous said...
Well I hate to admit I became the VICTIM of a cheating husband who visited parlors. Let me be clear and say we've always had a great marriage and super sex. Basically anyway he wanted it anytime, anywhere. So imagine my surprise when I discovered his visits to these places. My anger, hurt and ultimately devastation led me to look up and search for where these places were in my area and how many and I discovered your blog. I gotta say I am shocked at your nonchalanonce about this and your commenters defending you by saying if the wives kept there husbands happy they wouldn't look for this. What about the wives at home working their fingers to the bone to keep happy house happy kids and happy very happy husband? Why are some of you ignoring te fact that this is illegal, immoral and devastating to families especially te children who lose their fathers? Why are you CJ proud and blatantly so non caring about the families that are destroyed? I don't know you and by no means want to direct my anger towards you because the fault lies mostly w the husbands but explain to me why this is ok to you. My words are gonna be harsh but this is prostitution, end if story. Ok your not having sex w them but their climaxing between your fucking tits and ass? Something thyself supposed to be reserved for the great wives who give their husbands everything they need n want sexually. Don't you feel bad at all? Moneys one thing but what about the devastation you cause once your finished wiping what number 10 of the days jiz off ur face? What about the wife who is at home with a hot meal waiting for him and a blowjob to boot... On the dick that was just up ur ass? No guilt? No feelings of hey, I wouldn't want to be his wife and what would I do if I was... Again I don't know you personally and as you can probably tell am a writer also, which can I add it you are a fantastic writer.. It wasn't so much your stories that dragged me in but your writing. Anyway, I don't know you personally but what goes around comes around. Your going to fall in love, head over heels, your gonna settle down give up this horrible job you do have children and one day look at your husbands credit card and see a parlor on there. Maybe worse- catch him with a GF or a hooker. What then CJ? How will u feel CJ when u hav to explain to your crushed children that daddies not coming home bc he broke a promise to mommy and broke her heart. Just food for thought, I hope I did my best in not making this against you but more of a hey help me out with this. Help me understand. I'll look for a reply for I guess a little while, I hope I see one from you women to women. Thanks for your time and I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on my worst enemy. Maybe the next time you have some guys dick in your face in his wives bedroom, looking at his kids pictures you'll think of me and the broken families this leaves. :(

I have talked about this subject before and my thoughst on this have not changed. So let me state once again that I regard the use of my services by married men as cheating. Period. Even though what takes place in session is pretty much mechanical and does not include any emotions, it doesn't change the fact that vows have been broken.

So why do I see so many married men as clients? It's one of the ugly sides of the business, and perhaps the worst thing about it to me. And if I had my way, I wouldn't see any married customers at all. But fact of the matter is I can't screen them all out, and they make up most of my income. I'm not proud of it, and sometimes I'll tell the guys what I think. But it's bad for business and what I do is business. I like to think of it as the guy at the gas station that sells cigarettes. It's a dirty nasty habit that kills people, but he sells it anyway.

This is one of the reasons why I won't date a customer. It's hard to respect a guy who goes to someone like me for a handjob. If I discovered that Derek had been to an Asian massage parlor, I would consider that cheating on me and I'd probably dump him. Is that hypocritical of me? Maybe. I just know that the man I'm with isn't allowed to see other women - and that includes handjobs. Shit - I don't like it when Derek goes to a strip club with his friends.

So to you, the disrespected wife, I say that I do think of the wives and the families and the kids. And I feel bad about what your husband is doing. It's cheating and it's disrespectful. And I am fully aware that the price of each and every happy ending may include divorce if he's caught. But at the end of every day, it's not my marriage or vows that have been broken. And that's what I need to accept if I'm going to go to work every day. Am I a cheating enabler? Yes. I know and accept that. And yes it sucks and makes me feel like crap sometimes.

Now before you crucify me for being a lying, cheating harlot, how many of you out there are in sucky jobs doing things for people that you don't agree with? Does your store sell cigarettes or booze? Is your boss a thief? Does your company do shady shit? It all boils down to what do we need to do to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. And when I think about it, I don't think I've ever called myself a paragon of virtue or even a role model.

Anonymous said...
What would you say is the averaged size penis.

About 6 inches. Based on empirical evidence. A LOT of empirical evidence.

Anonymous said...
Look, I have no problem that you choose to be a prostitute for a living, however, I am a real massage therapist that HATES it when I have to jump through hoops to prove that I am not a prostitute because of how you market yourself (as a massage therapist instead of a prostitue). It should be completely separate verbage as to what you call your profession than trying to pull off a true massage therapist that is in this profession to heal people. You are the type that makes it really hard for us to gain a reputable name and living. Do us a favor and go get a porn license and stop marketing yourself as a massage therapist. I am having to go infront of a city counsel next week to prove I am a real therapist so I can open a wellness store. Thanks for making my profession so damn hard.

I'm not sure what your question is, but I believe me when I say I understand your sentiment. You think you have it tough. Try explaining to a customer that you'll jerk his dick, but you absolutely refuse to suck it. I blame those fucking whore houses for giving massage parlors a bad name.

Anonymous said...

No not really. They got divorced when I was baby, so I don't think about what he did or what he's up to now. But thank you for the question!

And I think that ends it for Q&A 6. This got way more intense that I thought it could.


Monday, October 10, 2011

Answers 6 - Part 1

Damn you guys ask a lot of questions. But I guess I can only blame myself for not talking to you guys sooner. So I'll get as far as I can now and answer the rest later.

1) Why did you leave the business?

Long story, and one that I'm slowly becoming more comfortable with telling. In fact, telling it is part of the "Therapy" that Velma prescribed for me.

2) How do you keep what you do from derek? Most guys like to visit at work, etc.
Since going independent, it's been a non-issue. I've been telling him that I've been doing in-home hair and massage for my mom's friends. I think he's been laying off with any questions because he knows it's a touchy subject.

3) Is Derek still wanting you to get married?
LOL - It was kinda meant as a joke, so it's died down a bit now that I'm making money again.

With what you do being so lucrative, why don't you ever seem to have any money?
It depends on how many customers you can see on a regular basis that determines how steady your income is. Sure, I may get the occasional $500 session, but if it's only once a month, then it suddenly doesn't sound so great. When I was still back at The Business, I could count on a steady stream of $100 topless sessions on a daily basis.

And another thing - I may be earning way less money now, but I'm not exactly broke. I absolutely positively refuse to touch what I have in savings. In my mind, that money is meant to keep me afloat when I'm ready to retire my massage table. So digging into it in this time of my life has always been a sign of failure. As long as it's there and untouched, I know that I'll be OK. And let me tell you, I came pretty damn close to cashing it in a few times recently...

1. You mentioned hitting rock bottom in an earlier post and receiving needed therapy from your friend Velma. What did you confess to her of doing to clients or letting be done to you?
I knew you guys would get around to asking this and I've been preparing myself mentally to answer it. To be blunt, I let a customer finger fuck me. It fucked with my head in ways I didn't expect and couldn't explain. At that point, I had never felt so ashamed of anything I've ever done before - and that's saying a lot for a girl who's done double customers, facials, submission, etc.

That other stuff was just fun in comparison - this was just plain outright whoring. That's when I stopped writing, stopped talking to friends, almost broke up with Derek, and thought of emptying my savings account. It was really that bad for me, and served as my wake up moment to start turning things around.

How old are you, really?Early 30's now. I think I was 28 or 29 when I started this damn blog thing.

Please comment on the differences in ejaculations between older and younger men.
More volume and distance with younger guys.

Did I promise to answer everything or what?

How much are you charging and how does it compare with what people paid at the business? Are you typically getting tips on top of your fee?
I'm not so much getting tips as I am charging a flat fee. My customers now are all Regulars, so we've pretty much already established how much per session.

On average I'm making more per customer than I did at The Business, but that's because these are guys who know what they want and have the ability to see me regularly. However, I'm waaaaaay less busy than I was before.

Congratulations CJ on gaining some control with the table. I think the next step for more control is to limit the release to hands only. You can offer topless or nude sessions if you're comfortable with your customer. Please stay safe!
Basically, I've just learned to use the word "no" more often. So now I've been pretty much limiting happy endings to hand, butt, and breast releases.

Why so reluctant to tell anyone you're dating what you do, straight-up? (I mean, third date, sure...) What if they momentarily freaked out but then were cool about it? It would make your life a lot easier. :) It seems like Derek would probably understand if you told him.
I've gone over this before, and very early in the blog. Telling a guy what you do NEVER works out. They're cool with it for a little while, then one day it suddenly turns ugly. Happens EVERY time.

Hey CJ! What would Derek do/say if he found out what your job really consists of?
I've been dreading that recently because I really like this guy. But I think he'd handle it really badly and end up dumping me. For real. He's not nearly as "worldly" as other guys I've dated. I mean, he doesn't go to strrip clubs, or bachelor parties. Shit - he's embarassed to admit he watches porno. So I think he wouldn't take it well at all.

Have you ever had an orgasm while working? How?

Yes - I did a whole story about it here...

Fuck - Marry - Kill:

1. George Clooney
2. Tom Hanks
3. Mel Gibson

That's sooooo easy. Fuck George, Marry Tom, and Kill Mel. Give me a tough one!

Have you considered applying for work at an AMP? It would seem to have the structured rules that you and your clients now require. Non-asian girls do exist at a couple of places in MA/RI. Are you capable of letting go of the rigid generalizations you've made about these places in the past.
The ones around here do not hire local girls. The girls are all driven in from NYC. That's not my opinion, that was in the police reports from when the were busted. Also, I can't tell you how many girls I've interviewed while working at The Business who said they were turned away from the AMPs because they weren't "their" girls.

Glad you're feeling better. I really enjoy reading your blogs. I'm in the area and go to AMPs about once a month or so. Answer me this:

Is it normal for a guy to not be hard at all during the massage and when the flip comes? I'm early 30s and by no means have ED (yet) and I have a GF who I see on the weekends (she lives out of state). So I get laid pretty regularly but like to get polished off once and a while. I feel like these ladies expect me to be hard and ready when the time comes. Most usually just grab my junk and then I'm good to go. But recently I had one woman kinda just look at me and gensture "well get ready".

I guess if I was a 50+ guy who didnt get laid from his wife this would be like a super exciting situation to have a lady half naked rubbing you down but for me, I'm not excited until she touches it.

This is not usual at all. In fact, it's more common for the guy not to be hard when it's time for the happy ending. The woman who gave you the (ahem) hard time was not very professional.

1) How often does someone take you up on the "You provide the clothing for me to wear as long as the tags are still attached" offer?
Except for 1 guy, It's not nearly as popular with the Regulars I've been seeing lately, but back at The Business, I'd get a lingerie request a couple times a month.

2) What has happened to The Business Establishment since you left it?
Once again - long story and I will get to it.

3) Do you like "mood music" when you are working?
Of course - I bring a boombox, or at the very least CD's of what we call "spa" music. At The Business, we had satellite radio so we could listen to relaxing music. Most requested music type - country. Hardly relaxing.

4) What was the most unexpected, yet appreciated, gift you ever got from any client?
Diamond earrings.

5) You are President for one week, what one thing would you like to accomplish?
Abolish all sex laws. Honestly, everyone has sex, but as soon as $$$ enters the equation it becomes a giant problem that must be controlled, hunted down and stopped. Give me a break.

I recall in an earlier post you described your Oscar winning performance of video recording the HE with a client and ending the session with the peace sign. However you also briefly talked about other sessions which were recorded but you didn't elaborate about those moments. Were they worth a leading actress award?
Always! I actually enjoy fussing with the lighting in the room and the camera angles. Sometimes it's to avoid capturing my face, but it also helps if the visuals capture the best parts of me and the action. Heck - I've even come up with dialog with some of them!

The thing to remember, CJ, is that anonymous #5 who left a comment telling you that you are something bad is really just some small person who gets some miniscule amount of satisfaction for themself by treating other people poorly. I am sure that you know that already, but it helps to remind yourself of that as you are reading them. :) Best wishes! -Mondo
Thanks Mondo! That shit really doesn't really bother me anymore.

What is your advice to a wife whose husband has been using your extra services and options and has thier heart, trust, and security broken?
He obviously doesn't deserve your trust and I don't blame you one bit for feeling that way. I don't like seeing married men and I do consider what they do as cheating. But if it helps any, what goes on in the room is totally mechanical and devoid of emotion. At work I do not consider myself a "girlfriend" or "mistress" to any of the customers. I know that doesn't justify any of their behavior but it's that detachment that helps me to deal with it. It's probably the crappiest part of being in this line of work.

I've been dying to hear the story about you leaving the business. This should give you plenty of opportunities to bad-mouth Audry. That's got to be good therapy for you, too.
You're absolutely right - it is part of my therapy and I'll get to it when I'm feeling comfortable enough. And believe it or not, there may not be as much Audrey bashing as you'd think.

can you repost the famous pictures of you, trina, and cindy?
Nope - sorry. Got way too close to getting discovered after that.

Can you please, please show us your breasts?
Look at my pic and imagine the rest!

How do you pay Velma for her help? :)
My undying gratitude! That and I promised her half of whatever money she can scrounge up by turning this into an HBO series.

What was your best memory of the business? Out of the times and experiences you had there, you had to have one day that was one that stood out as one of the best.
I miss working with my friends, particularly back when Cindy and Trina and I were there and everything was just fun and games. Heck - that's probably way back before Cindy became an addict. Back then coming to work was a party.

Did you ever go full service with any clients since leaving the business.
If you consider the finger fucking incident as full service, then I guess so.

you said you are doing clients because you need the money. Um, can you discuss your budget?
You are single, no kids, you should be swimming in cash.

Well nowadays it's just enough to pay rent, truck, food, clothes, and cell phone. I have to admit that my real weakness is my truck. I probably shouldn't be driving anything that big and expensive, but I can't help it. There's just something about a little girl driving a big truck that I get off on and cannot let go of.

Well guys, I'm going to end it here for now. But I promise to get to the rest - I owe it to you guys. Maybe this weekend. Thanks for helping me with my therapy!


Saturday, October 1, 2011

Questions and Answers 6

My "therapy" as prescribed by Velma the Techno-Nerd, has been working. I feel much better about and more comfortable with my new situation. Just switching to a massage table seems to have made me feel like I'm in more control of my sessions. And since then I've managed to motivate myself to actually talk about funny stuff again. I've even started answering my email.

But I've been really bad about responding to comments. I have to admit that it kinda got intimidating after a while, and I really didn't feel like responding to Anonymous #5 who thinks I'm a whore. So now I'm going to give you a guys another chance to ask whatever you want and I swear I will answer every question.

So if I didn't answer any pressing questions from the last several weeks, now's the time to ask them. I figure this will help me get back on track and caught up on things.