HappyEndingz - International Edition

Things have been rather dull around here lately, so I decided to try something different. I've started making friends with other erotic massage therapists, so I've been learning how they do business in other parts of the country. It's funny - I used to think that what we did here is typical of any massage parlor, but boy was I wrong. For example, in parts of California, it's not uncommon for parlors to give happy endings, but not offer any options. So that's why I'm starting this new topic called "HappyEndingz - International."
Now before we leave the country, I thought we'd start right here in the Good Ole U. S. of A. I've told you all about the Businesses here in SE PA, and let me tell ya - they're all pretty much the standard rub-n-tug with options, and full-service often available. But there are variations to how a parlor does business depending on where you are in the country. So today let me start with...

The Great Northeast
With all the truckers and businessmen we get through here, I've heard stories from EVERYWHERE. For example, if you head over to the Pittsburgh area of the state, you start to see less massage and more full-service in their Businesses. Meanwhile, the places in Jersey are a lot like here - hand release with options. And the closer you get to NYC, the more Asian places you'll find. Customers from NYC say there's no lack of parlors, but we're a hell of a lot cheaper out here in PA.

New England
Recently I've gotten a lot of complaints from guys from MA. I guess there was a recent crackdown on Businesses, and now they're almost impossible to find outside of the big cities. And I've had a number of readers e-mail me about the lack of places up in New Hampshire, Maine and Vermont. For you guys up there, all I can suggest is to hit the internet. Believe me - Businesses are everywhere - you just have to know where to look.

Oh Canada
A lot of my traveling customers have told me that upstate New York is practically not worth visiting since Canada is SOOOOOOOOO much better for parlors. When I first heard this, I didn't think much of it. I figured, so you can get a blowjob up there - so what? Get this - it turns out that massage parlors are legal in Canada. Actually, let me rephrase that. In Canada, there is nothing illegal about massage parlors. The way it was explained to me is not that the government condones what goes on, it just doesn't care. So Businesses up there are free to set up shop and advertise their services.

Canada sounds like a fun place if you're a horny guy. I've had 19 year old college kids tell me that they would road trip up to Windsor or Toronto and get a room for the weekend. Then they would call a liquor store and (are you sitting down?) have a case of beer DELIVERED TO THEIR HOTEL ROOM. Then they'd call up an escort agency and have a girl come over. AND IT'S ALL LEGAL. I guess Canada is proof that it's a man's world.

And then in a category all by itself is the biggest party town of all - Niagara Falls. All of my customers who've been up there say this place is insane. Apparently in Niagara Falls, you can find strip clubs that are actually ATTACHED to massage parlors! But these guys also tell me that the parlors up there are really just brothels, and you can't count on getting a real massage. In fact, if you just want a hand job, they said you can get that INSIDE the strip club - and it's perfectly normal!!!

I had this one customer who used to travel to Buffalo all the time for business, so he used to cross the border to "attend the ballet" every chance he got. He used to go to this one place where it wasn't uncommon to see 3 guys getting hand jobs and 2 more getting blown in the VIP lounge. I asked him what's the point of an attached massage parlor if you could get a happy ending inside the club. He said that if you wanted to actually fuck a dancer, you would arrange to meet her in the parlor next door. With that kind of shit going on up there in Canada, our humble little Business wouldn't last 2 seconds.

So that's it for the northeast. If any of you local guys have more stories to tell about this area, please share. And please don't stop visiting your places so you can save up your money for a trip to Canada. Remember - we're in a recession so we need your American dollars right here!

CJ