The Cheapskate Option

Last week someone made a comment about how he always offers less than the regular cost for options. This set me off. I mean, I know that times are tough for everyone but would you start bartering at McDonalds? I didn't think so.

I think it would be helpful if I responded to this calmly. Yes, we do get guys in here who try to barter. In fact, over the past year it's gotten really bad. It's partly the shitty economy and partly because Audrey has kept cutting her prices without telling us.

This is how it works at The Business:

We keep our prices fixed. All the girls (including the boss) are supposed to charge the EXACT same amount for options. Now if you took notes last week, you'll remember that options are topless, G-string and nude (extras are our own business and we can charge whatever we want for them). We do this for your protection and ours.

It protects you (the consumer) because a girl can't rip you off by making up her own prices. And it protects us because it keeps our tips fair and prevents girls from stealing customers from each other. As long as everyone sticks to the posted prices, it actually increases repeat business.

Some may argue that what a girl charges in the room shouldn't be anyone's business. BUT, when a girl secretly cuts her prices, what happens is that her customers eventually start expecting the other girls to cut theirs. I can't tell you how many times over the past year I've gotten some cheap ass guys in here with a fucking $20 bill asking me for a hand job because "Audrey did it."

So back to the original issue, yes - we get guys in here trying to barter, but we tell them no. I mean, if a Regular comes in and he's a couple bucks short of what he usually gets, I'll let it go. But for the most part, we don't barter on options.

However... Over the past year things got so bad that I eventually created a new option for cheapskates. So whenever some cheap ass bastard came in and gave me a song and dance about how "I've only got $40" AFTER he's on the table, I would offer him a 1 time only deal:

Choose between a handjob or a topless massage - you can't have both.

I've discovered that this ultimatum worked in my favor. For anything less than $80, they either got FIVE MINUTES of my attention for a happy ending. or they got 15 minutes of massage with a view of the girls. That was my "Cheapskate Special." Remember that in the delicate art of negotiation, always offer 2 solutions - both in your favor. So if a guy tried to offer $60, he would either get a 5 minute handjob from a very disinterested masseuse, or 15 minutes of a half-hearted massage from a topless massuese (and that 15 minutes is spent on their stomachs so they can't see much!).

And let me tell ya, I think I've had maybe 2 guys walk out, but the rest stuck around. You would be surprised how many guys suddenly "found" a few extra bucks in their pocket. And the ones that came back ALWAYS paid full price after that.

OK, enough ranting for today. I was gonna post a new pic, but I got in a pissy mood about this sore subject. That's what you get for distracting me. So maybe Thursday!

CJ