Politics and Hand Jobs Make Strange Bedfellows

Happy Election Day! Now go out there and vote... I just did. I'm working nightshift today, so I got to avoid most of the lines.

Now if there's one thing I've learned about what NOT to talk about in session, it's politics and sports. Those are the 2 biggest taboo topics I have. You'd think that religion would be another one, but for some reason I've discovered that guys just don't bring up religion while enjoying an erotic massage. Not even the preachers!!!! Anyway, I don't bring up politics or sports in session because those are the only 2 topics that will actually lose you a customer.

For example...

I am NOT a Philly's fan. I know that sounds funny considering we're basically a suburb of Philly, but I have always been and will always be a Red Sox fan (even now I can see a lot of you guys out there turning off your computers in disgust after reading this). You wanna know how difficult it is to root for the Sox when you live amongst Philly fans? I've almost gotten into fist fights with MEN for wearing for my Red Sox stuff to local sports bars. And I've actually lost customers for talking about it. Trina is a big Philly's fan, so she's picked up the guys who refuse to see me anymore.

The same goes for politics. I'm not going to mention who I voted for because I figure the rest of you who stayed after hearing I'm a Sox fan will probably leave if I say that. What I do now when a customer brings it up is usually just agree with whatever he says, or just bite my tongue (which is really hard for a big mouth like me).

You see, when you're paid to entertain a client for up to an hour, you learn to be an expert in almost any topic. The massage and The Girls, can only distract a customer so much... eventually you gotta say something. So I can talk about most anything for a little while, but when politics come up I'll try to steer the conversation to something else. And let me tell you - A LOT of you guys have been obsessed with the election for the last month. So whenever I didn't agree with the politics of a customer, I'd try to distract him (and in the worst case I even hurried a session). If I did agree with a client, it wasn't any better because I'd usually end up talking his ear off to the point where I'd forget about the time and end up rushing the happy ending.

In other words, mixing politics and erotic massage is a lose/lose for all.

You wanna know what makes a great topic of conversation? The weather. I'm obsessed with the weather channel. I've been known to actually prolong the happy ending when the customer doesn't mind me chatting away about the temperature and cold fronts and precipitation.

CJ