Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Politics and Hand Jobs Make Strange Bedfellows

Happy Election Day! Now go out there and vote... I just did. I'm working nightshift today, so I got to avoid most of the lines.

Now if there's one thing I've learned about what NOT to talk about in session, it's politics and sports. Those are the 2 biggest taboo topics I have. You'd think that religion would be another one, but for some reason I've discovered that guys just don't bring up religion while enjoying an erotic massage. Not even the preachers!!!! Anyway, I don't bring up politics or sports in session because those are the only 2 topics that will actually lose you a customer.

For example...

I am NOT a Philly's fan. I know that sounds funny considering we're basically a suburb of Philly, but I have always been and will always be a Red Sox fan (even now I can see a lot of you guys out there turning off your computers in disgust after reading this). You wanna know how difficult it is to root for the Sox when you live amongst Philly fans? I've almost gotten into fist fights with MEN for wearing for my Red Sox stuff to local sports bars. And I've actually lost customers for talking about it. Trina is a big Philly's fan, so she's picked up the guys who refuse to see me anymore.

The same goes for politics. I'm not going to mention who I voted for because I figure the rest of you who stayed after hearing I'm a Sox fan will probably leave if I say that. What I do now when a customer brings it up is usually just agree with whatever he says, or just bite my tongue (which is really hard for a big mouth like me).

You see, when you're paid to entertain a client for up to an hour, you learn to be an expert in almost any topic. The massage and The Girls, can only distract a customer so much... eventually you gotta say something. So I can talk about most anything for a little while, but when politics come up I'll try to steer the conversation to something else. And let me tell you - A LOT of you guys have been obsessed with the election for the last month. So whenever I didn't agree with the politics of a customer, I'd try to distract him (and in the worst case I even hurried a session). If I did agree with a client, it wasn't any better because I'd usually end up talking his ear off to the point where I'd forget about the time and end up rushing the happy ending.

In other words, mixing politics and erotic massage is a lose/lose for all.

You wanna know what makes a great topic of conversation? The weather. I'm obsessed with the weather channel. I've been known to actually prolong the happy ending when the customer doesn't mind me chatting away about the temperature and cold fronts and precipitation.

CJ

4 comments:

sweetie pie said...

lol cj you are damn sure right..i am very outspoken also ..but i learned a long time ago to just be netural..esp about politics and religion..i try to stay light and upbeat..i usually engage my clients by telling them my fantasies..or something like that..once i had actually made a client believe i was a certified virgin still at the age of 26..he was so excited to see a "virgin pussy" that he gave me an additional 100 bill on top of the nice tip he gave upfront..me a virgin lol..ill never see those days ago..oh misspent youth...have a good one cj

Greg Voltaire said...

Has anyone ever forced you to talk and not really cared that you wasted the session on politics? Or enjoyed the argument and didn't leave. A realted question: Do any of the clients seem to pay just to have someone to talk to for and something to waste an hour on?

cj said...

Sweetie Pie,

I gotta hear that virgin story!



Greg,

The way I tend to blab, no one has to force me to say anything! Now if a customer wants me to talk dirty or roll play, that's a whole other thing and I'll charge accordingly. But I've had some great discussions during session. And if I'm really into it, we'll just continue afterwards over a cigarette outside.

I thought about your question on clients just wanting someone to talk to. You may be surprised to hear this, but I'd say about a quarter of my clients are lonely and just want someone to talk to. The massage is just a bonus. I even get Regulars who stop by just to chat for a bit.

CJ

Mr Begotten said...

Oh you poor, poor, misguided child. I really wish I hadn't read that....the Sox?!?! CJ - WTF?
I am very disappointed in you...