Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Cheap Ass Customers

Oh shit - just another day putting up with CHEAP ASS CUSTOMERS.
What the hell? They think they can get everything and anything for free? I’m sooooo not putting up with their cheap asses today - we all have bills to pay. Listen to this… It’s what we have to listen to most of the time:

Come on honey - it's Christmas!
I still need to go shopping
I don’t have much money to spend in here today
And my personal favorite –
it's my Birthday - how about a free massage!

… and all the good stuff that comes with it.

Here’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about. Sammie was just here. I don't really care for him too much. His English is bad so you have to make him repeat himself the whole time. He's from New York City and thinks his shit don't stink. He takes the Nude massage. I reminded him that I take my money up front and he complains “How long have I been coming here to see you? That shouldn’t matter… blah blah blah..” He gets up and hands me the money. As I’m putting it away he starts with “Well are you going to stand next to the table or what?” So I put the warm baby oil in my hand and walk back to the table. He sits up and pulls me towards him and starts to caress my breasts. “You know CJ, like I always said - you have the most beautiful boobs.”

“They’re not boobs,” I said. “They’re breasts and they’re all mine. Most girls got implants thinking it would make them better money. Lay down Sammie, you only paid for thirty minutes.”

As I begin massaging his back, I go harder since this is an erotic massage and not a deep tissue massage. I soooooo can't wait for this session to be over. After a few minutes it’s time to turn over already. As I begin to massage his chest I can smell his breath oh me. What the fuck did he eat - it's nasty! It’s about this time that he starts this shit:

“You know CJ, I jerked off two times today.”

What the fuck??? That got my attention. I try not to sound angry - “You did?”

“Yea I did. My wife was in the shower and I was horny, and I knew she didn't want to fuck.”

“How did you know she didn't want to fuck?”

“I just know.”

Now I’m ticked. “Well you said you jerked off twice right before you came in here - now why would you do that?” I hope he can hear the irritation in my voice.

“When you start to caress my cock with that damn warm baby oil, my dick gets super hard in two seconds and I can't help but want you to start jerking me off faster - and then I cum! So I jerked off before I came here so it would last longer.” He says this last bit so matter-of-factly that I want to just smack that smug look off his face.

“Well you already know you have five minutes left to cum? If not, you’re on your own” I say as matter-of-factly as I can. I’m not a robot! Do they think that my arms don't ever get tired? You know what it’s like to do a hard massage on some Fat Ass for 45 minutes straight then they expect you to spend the last 15 minutes of their session just jerking them off? Fuck that! This job beats your ass sometimes.

“Oh CJ… Put your pussy in my face… want to smell you… feel you… oh CJ… fuck me… fuck me… yeah… CJ go faster!” Geez - how much faster does he want me to go? They like when you talk dirty to them. I charge extra to talk dirty but in this case I really want this session to end. Besides, I’m still kinda hung over from New Years!

“Sammie… I feel your hard cock in my hand… I wanna fuck you with my hand… you feel my warm hand stroking your hard cock? Come on baby cum for me… Oh yeah… you like it when I stroke your hard cock…”

“Don't stop... harder… harder… I’m… oh my… yea baby… oh my!”

His cock gets real hard and then he starts to cum. He doesn’t make a sound when he cums. Only a little bit of jizz comes out, so I wipe the front of him with warm water then I throw my clothes back on. “Ok sweetie, I'll see you when you’re done getting dressed. I want to wash my hands, ok? I'll be right back.”

“Hey CJ. See you soon.”

I’m like whatever - leave ok? “Sammie, see ya soon!” I manage to say. Thank god we’re done.

I wonder what the boss lady is doing in the room next door. Probably getting her pussy licked - yikes that's nasty.

And that’s just another old day at the office!



Anonymous said...

Ugh, it's annoying enough to deal with people like that when you don't have to jerk them off. Good writing though.

Anonymous said...

It's like hearing complaints from anyone in the service industry: on the one hand, you know how annoying people can be... but in the other, you cringe because at one time or another, it could've been you.

The customer does pay with HIS money, and has a hard time understanding why he would have to follow all YOUR rules (that vary from parlor to parlor or girl to girl, BTW), please YOU (come ASAP so you don't work too hard), and then tip as generously as YOU think is fair.

Waiters and salespeople are the worst bitches I've ever heard, besides whores of course. Some of the gripes ARE justified, but the job IS being at the service of the paying public!

This being said, it is true that a lot of massage customers are cheap bastards. They try to get as much as possible for a minimum of damage to their wallet. And they can confuse the masseuse for a girfriend: she wants MONEY, not touch, and she wants the guy out in a jiffy, not to last as long as possible.
The poor guy was trying to impress you, when your only thoughts were "next" and "$$$".

Personally, I try to follow all the rules I've picked up in parlors and to compensate the girl well in order to have the best experience. But it takes time to learn, especially with all the misinformation out there.
Just think of how badly equipped your readers would be, going into an AMP!