I started tweeting this week because I thought it would be fun to add a new "as it happens" perspective to The Business. Not that I've ever really tried it before - I mean I'm used to sitting down and telling a whole story at a time, not a sentence or two. It's totally different from what I'm used to saying because in a tweet I don't have room to really explain anything.
For example, I thought it would be kinda fun to try to tweet something while performing a happy ending. Real simple, right? Just type a few words on my phone with my right hand, while the left hand takes care of business. Then we can all have a good laugh.
Holy shit - I didn't realize what a pain in the ass this can be. First off, I couldn't find any customers willing to let me tweet about their session. I've never seen such scared looks on customers before! You would have thought I suggested taking their pic and texting it to their wife for goodness sake.
Second, I kinda forgot about the physical impracticalities of using the cell phone during a hand release. I figured it would be easy since I always keep my phone on me during session. I mute the phone, then put it next to the bottle stand so the customer can't see it from the table, but I can see the screen light up if anyone calls/texts.
What I forgot about is that I use baby oil during the hand release, so I couldn't touch my phone even if I wanted to! I tend to use both hands for the ending, which means I would have to plan on moving the phone over to the massage table and then starting the handjob with my left hand. Meanwhile my customer has to be cool with all this nonsense, and if there's anything a guy does not appreciate during a happy ending it's distractions.
Then one customer seemed cool with the idea, but he ended up asking for a breast release, which made it impossible to use the phone at all. Even though I keep my hands dry for those, I need both of them to keep The Girls in place else the angles and positions just don't work... it's complicated.
And finally, do you know how hard it is to clean semen off a phone? Take it from me - a girl who's seen it happen to a couple customers who thought it would be fun to video their own happy ending. You wanna hear something mean? When a guy asks to tape the hand release, I wait until he's about ready to cum, then I deliberately aim his load at the camera. Of course I apologize innocently afterwards. "I'm sorry... I didn't realize you were going to have such a big load! When was the last time you got laid? Jeez."