Monday, October 8, 2012

The Sorority Girls of I Phelta Thigh.

What the heck is going on around here?  Sometimes I swear that I'm running a fucking girls dormitory from some bad late-night Cinemax porn movie.  When Audrey asked me to manage The Business, I just assumed that it wouldn't be much more than ordering cases of massage oil, and answering the phones.

Instead I got 99 problems and a bitch is all of them.  I know I haven't been around to chat recently, but I've been busy putting out fires.  Here are just some of problems I've been dealing with:

Kimmie going to 3rd base with her customers
Britney's new stalker
Maude's decorating "expenses"
Audrey's unexpected visits
My job offer

Kimmie - After hiring an ex-escort, who would have thought that my "good girl" would be the first one to give in to the dark side?  One night we were just bitching about work and things, and out of the blue she says "Don't you hate it when the guys finger you without cutting their nails?"  


I couldn't figure out if I should be angry or laughing my ass off.  Maude picked the latter.  As calmly as I could manage, I asked her to explain.  Apparently Kimmie subscribes to the Bill Clinton definition of "sex."  In other words, as long as you can't make a baby then it's not sex.  Meaty fingers plunging inside a pussy?  Not sex!  Customers tongue up your ass?  Not sex!    But to her credit, Kimmie did draw the line when asked to suck cock.  Hey, a girl's gotta have standards, right?  Needless to say, I recalibrated her - much to the dismay of some of her new fans.  

Then there's Britney.  In this industry we've all had our share of stalkers, and Britney is no exception.  An overzealous customer started showing up just to "hang out." 

Really?  at a massage parlor?  It's bad enough when we have 2 guys standing in the lobby trying their best not to make eye contact, but here's a guy who wants to just hang out without making an appointment.  I don't think so.  Maude knew enough to throw his ass out, but then he started coming by during the night shift and weekends.  I told Britney that under no circumstances is she to allow him to come in without an appointment or stay a minute longer than his session.  She's here either with me or Trina, but still - a guy who over stays his welcome always make you nervous.

I've got more stuff to share, but I'm getting tired so I'll share more tomorrow.  



Annabelle Baxter said...

I'm curious what Kimmie's tips were. And I believe she'll have trouble backtracking. In my experience, once you've allowed guys some extras, they'll expect it every time.

Anonymous said...

LOL at the sorority name - too funny.

Advizor54 said...

I think Annabelle is right. It will be tough to keep her customers happy after being so spoiled, and her loss of income won't maker her any happier. But, it's a good call for you to make, 'cause any further and the police will come knocking

Anonymous said...

Is a happy ending that much different than 3rd base?

I mean both actions are technically considered illegal right?

Anonymous said...

Wow..I guess I have catching up to do.

Micheal said...

Hi, CJ
I am a big fan of your blog, and read most of your articles. Honestly, I became to have interest on massage parlors after I watched a documentary film from MSNBA entitled “Sex slavery”. The first episode was about sex slavery by human trafficking in international (mostly Asian) massage parlors. It was shocking indeed, but I could not totally trust what they reported. So, in order to get an unbiased idea, I searched google like “what do they do in massage parlor”, and your blog poped up. I love your picture as well as your writing.
I decided to experience the service mainly due to curiosity, and I would like to share the story of my first and probably not the last visit with you and others. I am living in a very conservative mid-size city in South, and therefore I was so surprised by the fact that I could find a few local massage parlors easily in yellow page. All of them, however, were Ascian massage parlors. I chose a place having most recent reviews. I visited the place around 7:30 pm on Sunday, and an old and ugly Chinese lady welcomed me. I worried whether she was masseuse, but fortunately, she was not. I don’t know her job role exactly, but I presume that she screens customers in the front line. She escorted me to room #5, and 2 minutes later a young Korean lady (late 20s) came into my room. She had astonishing body and pretty face. She looked like a regular K-pop star. She wore a short skirt, but it did not look too exotic. We briefly talked to each other about my job, my marital status, etc. And then she asked me whether this is the first time. I said No, because I was afraid whether she would not offer anything above regular massage, if I admit that I am a newbie. I noticed she was actually released. However, the shower system was broken at that time, so she could not provide table shower service. Instead, she wiped out my entire body with a warm wet patch. Then she started massage with oil. But, by that time, she never mentioned about options. You said that you offer options before massage, right? I really wanted to see her bouncing boobies, while she touchs my body. So, I asked her “do you offer any options?” Then she was a bit surprised saying “what did you just say?” Oops! I thought I made a mistake, so I apologized right after. “No, I am sorry, never mind”. However, she asked again “do you mean the service after massage?” Since you (CJ) wrote that HJ is part of the massage, I did not understand exactly what she meant by “service after massage”. So, I said “sometimes, masseuse explains options before starting massage”. Then she said “No way. Discussing options is forbidden, until you show me appropriate guestures that you are ready to discuss it.” What she wanted to figure out was, I guessed, whether I am an undercovered cop or a person who is willing to accuse her (and/or her working place) for providing illegal service. So, I said, “okay, I will try, but please tell me immediately if this is not what you meant”. Then I grab her left butt. But she said “that is not enough”. So, I sighed and said “Okay then”, and I gently touched her crotch. But she said again “that was not deep enough”. “Okay, I will try again”. So I rubbed her pussy several times, until my hand was a bit wet. Then she said “Okay, that was enough”.

Micheal said...

Then she started massage without explaining any options. Massage without bouncing boobies? I thought that was so unfair! But, anyway, she massaged my back for ~15 minutes. She said she is a licensed masseuse, and she ineed knew how to massage. She released all my cramped muscles within only 15 minutes, and now I believe massage actually has therapeutic effect. Then she said, “Now I will explain the options. There are three different ways to release you. Hand, mouth, and everything.” I asked “how do I pay for your service?” and she said “Hand, $100, mouth, $120, and everything is $140, but most customers choose everything”. Hm… it was a tough call. I really wanted to see her bouncing boobies, but if she uses her hands or mouth, she might not need to take off her top. So, if I ask her to take off her top in the middle of the service, she might ask extra dollars, which might end up to about $140 anyway. It was the same dilemma that I face in fastfood restaurant. I am not a big fan of fries, but it is almost free if I order in combo meal. I can save 20 cents by not ordering frech fries, but is it worth to save 20 cents? Oh, what the heck!
“Everying please.” “You got it. You pay now, and I will be back with preparation”. Then she was back in 1 minute with gargle and a condom. I gargled, and she put the condom into my penis using her mouth. Then she performed BJ for 2~3 minutes. She used every single muscle inside her mouth to stimulate my sensation--the best BJ which I have ever had. Usually, most women don’t enjoy BJ, because it does not reward their action immediately. It is nothing but shaking their brains, which may cause dizziness. To women, BJ is just a pure service for somebody who they care for. Presumably by that reason, most BJs that I have expericed were insincere. But, her BJ itself was worth $100. Then she creamed her pussy, and sit up on my penis. Insertion itself was smooth, but her muscle was very strong to grab mine hard. It felt like a strong man was holding my penis with two hands. I did not complain it, of course. I asked her whether it is okay to touch her. She said “Feel free. Act like a regular relationship”. So, I grabed her boobies, but I realized something is not right. “You have…. impant?” And she said “it is required for every girl in this field.” Oh, man! I was fooled! It felt so awkard, and I was so disappointed. Unfortunately, my disappointment softened my penis. I don’t know whether she realized it or not, but she suddenly asked me which position I prefer. So, I said “doggy style”, and she said she preferred it as well. So, we tried it, and my penis worked better. I also did my best to help her to reach there. I am not a selfish man. After we (or at least, I) finished it, she cleaned me with a warm and wet patch again. We talked about depression caused by loneliness and the future of sex industry. She said “I never felt a shame of my job. It is basic instinct for men to look for other girls, and without us, US society will be collapsed.” How could I disagree with her? Men were programmed to spread their DNA into women as many as possible. That is what we are, whether you admit it or not. So, if there is no steaming hole in the boiling pot, it will blow. She is absolutely right.
I gave her $5 more for nice conversation. She escorted me out. I said I will be back and look for her again.

Anonymous said...

Micheal's comments are one of the funniest things I have read in a long, long time. "watching a documentary on sex slavery got me interested", "warm wet patch", the fast food analogy, surprised by fake boobs, and a $5 tip after all that???? Truly hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Yoda in a massage parlor.... to funny.

Micheal said...

Hi, CJ,

The ethical issue of sexual service have been strongly argued across countries, time, and cultures. But, I don't just understand why HJ is okay but FS is not okay. HJ,BJ, FS, whatever... all those are just to deliver pleasure with consent between two adults. No victims are involved, and what is the problem? Is mastervating cheating? What about to have a fun with a sex toy? What about fucking a $300K android? I really appreciated the serivce of the masseuse, but I don't love her. Then how can it be morally problematic, although I have a wife?

Let me tell you what. The problem is sex slavery via human trafficking, which is happening because selling sex is illegal. So, solution is straightfoward. Make it legal like Holland or Japan. Guess what. The sex crime in either country is the lowest in the world. I am sick of hypocritical protestants.

Anonymous said...

Where is Micheal's blog? Best thing I have read on here in a long time!

Anonymous said...

"Then how can it be morally problematic, although I have a wife? "

Ask you wife that question and you will get your answer. Or how would you feel if you wife releases some built up "steam" from her pot, with some random guy? IDOIT...

Micheal said...

Hi, CJ and others,
Let's talk about the infidelity issue a bit more. Having sex with other girls when you have a wife, is it cheating? Save your answer. Then, what about staring at the eyes of other girls longer than 2 seconds? Is it cheating? Well, it is cheating indeed in Saudi Arabia; they think “how possibly can you stare at "not your woman" longer than 2 seconds without lustful intention?” You will go to jail immediately. Let’s take another example of a bit more advanced and civilized country: France. Wife (or husband) can have boy friend (or girl friend), while managing their marriage in France. French claim “it is our freedom”. If a guy said “I had sex with my sister”, you might say “Ewww”. But, guess what, only 1000 years ago, many royal people in many different countries reproduced their children by incest to maintain the purity of their blood. Even now, some Indios in Amazon do not allow marriage with non-relatives. My point is that there is no such kind of solid "sex morality" concept which can be accepted by all the people across different cultures and different times. That is just an illusion made by “the Bible”, and reinforced by “Kant”.

So, how can we judge “right” and “wrong”? By the presence of victims, of course. Let’s take two examples. The first: A married guy had sex with 10,000 girls, but his wife did not have any clue until she die peacefully. The second: A married guy jerked him off watching porn, and he said to his wife as such. He believed that he was honest to his wife, but his wife was mentally shocked and hospitalized. In the first case, nobody hurt. In the second case, somebody hurt. Although the first guy had sex with 10,000 girls, if nobody hurt physically and emotionally, how can it be classified as a crime? In the second case, can his honesty be virtue to his wife and his family? Kant said “lie is bad always”, but I want to point out that not all lies are bad.

Now, why do men look for other girls, although they have their regular sex partners? It is the biggest mystery to women, presumably even to you, CJ. So let me explain why. One of the most important duties of all living things is reproduction, and no exception to human. So, men can have sex with women as many as possible, as long as the women are in the age of reproduction. Historically, the first emperor (his name was Samayoum) in Chin dynasty had literally 10,000 wives (~2,000 years ago in China). But, although a woman had sex with 10,000 men, she will still have a baby of one person anyway. So, to women, it is not important to have sex with men as many as possible, but important to have sex with a single man having the best DNA among them as frequently as possible. So, women were programmed not to feel orgasm when having sex with somebody they don’t like, which is the reason why women can be victim by raping. But, to men, sex could be just an action to squeeze “oxytoxin” out of their brains. Simply speaking, sex without affection is possible to men, but not to women (I mean sex not for cash).
Unfortunately, the governors of this country don’t have much knowledge about the basic “human sexiology”, and establish law only concerning women voters, which is the reason why all sexual services are illegal. But, Netherland, Japan, Czech, France, and many other countries actually decided to take care of this problem legally. And their outcomes are statistically better than ours. Now it is time to openly discuss which is the best way to reduce sex crime in this country.

Micheal said...

One more tip for you. Arn't you cruious how the emperor chose his partner everynight? He rided a wagon pulled by lambs, and he stayed at the room where the lambs stopped. So, his 10,000 wives spread lots of high quality bamboo leaves mixed with salt, which is the favorate snack for lambs, in front of their rooms. So, the price of those went up crazily during that time, believe it or not.

Unknown said...

To Anonymous,

There is a big difference between third base and HJ, the biggest one being that it involves probing the masseuse. If a guy gets that from one masseuse, he'll likely expect it from another girl at the same spa.

Micheal said...

Hi, CJ and Alexa,

I have just one question for both of you. What is the difference between hand muscle and vaginal muscle to release a man? Both of them are just muscles, right? Those fleshes will decay away in only 2 weeks after you die. Then what is the big deal with one muscle, but not the other?

It is up to you to have “faith” whatever you want, but you should respect the other’s one, as long as both of them do not equally make sense. I presume you judge the “whoreness” by the act of insertion, right? But, in your standard, every single woman in this country is a potential whore. How many girls will refuse to suck my dick, if I offer $10,000? Face it, and deal with it. Some people judge the act of “cheating” in a different way like “emotion”. In other words, even if you provide FS, if you don’t love your customers, it is not cheating. Personally, the latter makes more sense to me, because cheating is also a metaphysical concept. People in some underdeveloped countries judge the purity of girl with the presence of hymen. Therefore, although you lost it by raping (or just horse riding), you never be able to marry a noble man because you are considered a dirty whore (so they take “hymen reconstruction surgery” to be pure again). Does it make sense to you? But, anyway I should respect their “faith”, as I respect your “faith”, shouldn’t I?

CJ and Alexa, we are living in the most developed capitalism country in the world. It is just a business to sell something for cash. If you cannot provide FS because of your faith, fine. But, if somebody can provide FS because her faith does not bother her decision, that could be her specialty. She could be a whore to you, but she could be a fine masseuse to me.