Massage Parlor Secret #9 - The Bargain Massage

I'm back at work, but I'm still not feeling great. I just don't have much energy to put into my massages. I have to keep apologizing to customers for my lack of endurance. I'm good for about 15-20 minutes, then my arms go out. I've even been discouraging customers from taking 1 hour sessions (unless they're mutuals) because I'm just not up to it.

So this brings me to todays topic, which I actually got from a customer yesterday. I know that this blog is supposed to be about massage parlor secrets, so I'm going to reluctantly give you one today. And I say "reluctantly" because it's a scam that works well at Asian places.

If you're JUST looking for a decent massage at a discount price, then sometimes a massage parlor is your best bet. A spa may charge you $60 - $90 for a 1 hour therapeutic, while a massage parlor may only charge $30-$60. For example, you might see an ad in the back of the paper offering "1 hour massage for only $30!" This amount is just to get you in the door. The $30 probably all goes to the house and the masseuse will make her money offering you options and extras.

This is where the scam comes in...

Forget EVERYTHING I told you about how to act cool in a massage parlor. After you agree to a price, tell them:

1) This is your first time here.
2) You've never had a therapeutic massage before.

In other words, make it obvious you are a newbie looking for a therapeutic massage. This will set off all their red flags and they will go into "Legit" mode. So instead of sending you off with the next girl in rotation, they fetch the one backup girl who actually knows what she's doing.

Remember - you've just set off their alarms, so they need to convince you that they're a legitimate massage practice. Giving you a girl with giant implants dressed in lingerie who rubs your shoulders half-heartedly for a few minutes isn't going to cut it. Now they trot out the homely girl in back who's actually skilled in genuine therapy techniques.

Bingo.

I used to be that girl (only not so homely) at the last place I worked. They used to drag me out for anyone requesting a therapeutic, or just looking suspicious. I used to hate it because I'd never get tipped.

Customers tell me that this trick works particularly well at Asian massage parlors (AMPs) because they often advertise very low prices just to get you in the door. They can afford to because the house pockets the tip money as well. The customer I was talking to yesterday about this said he once got a fantastic massage from a woman who really knew what she was doing. Ugly as hell, but used her feet and everything on him.

I'm not advocating anyone going to an AMP, but if your purpose is to get a bargain therapeutic from them, then I won't blame you.

Now of course this trick isn't foolproof. Some places may try to hit you up with other "fees" when they realize you're not dropping $$$ for a happyending. Or all their girls may be suddenly "busy" when they realized you're only looking for a therapeutic. But, it's worth a shot - especially if they want to appear legit.

And the last piece of advice i will give you (so none of my colleagues out there will get too mad at me for revealing this secret) is to PLEASE tip your masseuse for therapeutics. $20 is my recommended amount. Most of the time we're not expecting it, and it would really make our day.

CJ

Job Satisfaction, Employee Benefits, Dippin The Pen In The Company Ink, And Other Bad Puns About Getting Off On The Job - Part 1: Pushing My Buttons

I've decided to try something different. Now I'm going to share with you some real secrets that I've never shared with anyone outside of work. In fact, I'm already squirming as I write this since some of it will be news even to Trina (I'm sorry!). When I first got asked the question about whether I've ever gotten off at work, I thought I could answer that in 2 sentences. After I started writing I realized that I had enough stories to make this a multi-part series, so welcome to Part 1.

Today I'll talk about all the stuff that REALLY works on me. First of all, let me start off by saying that it is possible to turn me on during a massage. Hey - I'm only human, and when your working conditions consist of naked flesh, baby oil, moodlighting, scented candles, soft music, and lots and lots of bodily touch, it's inevitable. But for me to get turned on at work, it's more of a mental thing than a physical one. Let me explain.

The Cumshot
I love to watch men cum. The act of cum shooting from a guys penis is actually a little thrill for me. I guess part of it is knowledge of a job well done, but I'm also fascinated by the visual of the stuff just shooting out. Most guys don't believe me when I tell them this, but it's true. I would definitely consider this a job benefit.

Sexy Talk
Now this is a real secret that I've never shared with anyone outside of work. I LOVE it when a guy talks sexy to me during session. BUT ONLY IF HE’S GOOD AT IT. Now I'm not talking about dirty talk - that's a whole different thing. In fact, I consider dirty talk as an extra and sometimes charge for it. Examples of dirty talk from a customer would be:

"You fucking whore" slut, tramp, bitch, ho, skank, cunt, etc.
"You like it rough, don't ya?" or other roll playing stuff
"Jerk that cock" prick, dick, rod, pole, man meat, love stick, etc.

I'll allow a little bit of dirty talk during the happy ending if it'll help the guy finish quicker, but if he wants to focus on it and do it during the entire session, I'll charge him extra. If you think that's unfair on my part, you try listening to a guy call you a dirty cunt for an hour and see how you like it.
Now if he wants me to talk dirty to him, I'll charge even more since I don't like doing it. My typical dirty material is stuff like:

"Wanna fuck my tight little ass?"
"Fuck me! Fuck me hard!" This one's a real crowd pleaser and works well at getting a guy hard
"Cum baby... Cum on my face" mouth, pussy, tits, ass, hands, elbows, pinky toe, etc.

No - What turns me on is sexy talk, the kind that you'd do with a girlfriend. I like it when the guy says things like "...You're so beautiful... I love it when you touch me...That feels soooo good..." I know that may sound kinda corny, but I gobble that up. I guess it’s just the romantic in me. If it helps you to understand it any, think of it as a mental form of lubricant.

Now it doesn't work every time. For me to get turned on during session, I have to be really comfortable with the guy, and there has to be some kind of connection. Just being good looking doesn’t cut it. If he can make me laugh, or relax, or even just be good conversation, I'm way more likely to enjoy it. AND he has to be good at it. I can't tell you how many times I've had to tell customers to shut the hell up because they were just creeping me out with shit like:

"Who's your daddy?" What is this, 1998?
"Oh Carla..." Sheila, Tiffany, Penny, Marge, Fred, Agnes, etc. I am NOT your ex
"You're a good little girl" or any variation of the little girl theme just creeps me out
"I like your vagina" Vagina? Come on, that's just weird
"Mommy!"

The sad thing is that I can't and won't tell a guy if it's working or not. I just consider myself lucky if it's not creepy. In fact, when it does work I've found myself getting wet unintentionlly during a session. In these situations, I try to casually clean myself up without him noticing. And if I do end up getting aroused at work, I won't finish myself off - I save that for after I get home.

I don't know why I refuse to let myself go at work. Maybe it's the professional detachment that protects me from the wackos (and keeps me sane) that prevents me from doing it. Honestly, I don't feel like I'm losing an opportunity to enjoy myself, since a really stimulating session is pretty rare. But I think this is just a case of where boys are different from girls. If you told a guy it's OK to "get off" at work, he'd probably whip it out right there and blow a load all over his desk.

So those are the secrets to pushing my buttons. Too bad none of you know where I am. LOL

CJ