Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Job Satisfaction, Employee Benefits, Dippin The Pen In The Company Ink, And Other Bad Puns About Getting Off On The Job - Part 1: Pushing My Buttons

I've decided to try something different. Now I'm going to share with you some real secrets that I've never shared with anyone outside of work. In fact, I'm already squirming as I write this since some of it will be news even to Trina (I'm sorry!). When I first got asked the question about whether I've ever gotten off at work, I thought I could answer that in 2 sentences. After I started writing I realized that I had enough stories to make this a multi-part series, so welcome to Part 1.

Today I'll talk about all the stuff that REALLY works on me. First of all, let me start off by saying that it is possible to turn me on during a massage. Hey - I'm only human, and when your working conditions consist of naked flesh, baby oil, moodlighting, scented candles, soft music, and lots and lots of bodily touch, it's inevitable. But for me to get turned on at work, it's more of a mental thing than a physical one. Let me explain.

The Cumshot
I love to watch men cum. The act of cum shooting from a guys penis is actually a little thrill for me. I guess part of it is knowledge of a job well done, but I'm also fascinated by the visual of the stuff just shooting out. Most guys don't believe me when I tell them this, but it's true. I would definitely consider this a job benefit.

Sexy Talk
Now this is a real secret that I've never shared with anyone outside of work. I LOVE it when a guy talks sexy to me during session. BUT ONLY IF HE’S GOOD AT IT. Now I'm not talking about dirty talk - that's a whole different thing. In fact, I consider dirty talk as an extra and sometimes charge for it. Examples of dirty talk from a customer would be:

"You fucking whore" slut, tramp, bitch, ho, skank, cunt, etc.
"You like it rough, don't ya?" or other roll playing stuff
"Jerk that cock" prick, dick, rod, pole, man meat, love stick, etc.

I'll allow a little bit of dirty talk during the happy ending if it'll help the guy finish quicker, but if he wants to focus on it and do it during the entire session, I'll charge him extra. If you think that's unfair on my part, you try listening to a guy call you a dirty cunt for an hour and see how you like it.
Now if he wants me to talk dirty to him, I'll charge even more since I don't like doing it. My typical dirty material is stuff like:

"Wanna fuck my tight little ass?"
"Fuck me! Fuck me hard!" This one's a real crowd pleaser and works well at getting a guy hard
"Cum baby... Cum on my face" mouth, pussy, tits, ass, hands, elbows, pinky toe, etc.

No - What turns me on is sexy talk, the kind that you'd do with a girlfriend. I like it when the guy says things like "...You're so beautiful... I love it when you touch me...That feels soooo good..." I know that may sound kinda corny, but I gobble that up. I guess it’s just the romantic in me. If it helps you to understand it any, think of it as a mental form of lubricant.

Now it doesn't work every time. For me to get turned on during session, I have to be really comfortable with the guy, and there has to be some kind of connection. Just being good looking doesn’t cut it. If he can make me laugh, or relax, or even just be good conversation, I'm way more likely to enjoy it. AND he has to be good at it. I can't tell you how many times I've had to tell customers to shut the hell up because they were just creeping me out with shit like:

"Who's your daddy?" What is this, 1998?
"Oh Carla..." Sheila, Tiffany, Penny, Marge, Fred, Agnes, etc. I am NOT your ex
"You're a good little girl" or any variation of the little girl theme just creeps me out
"I like your vagina" Vagina? Come on, that's just weird

The sad thing is that I can't and won't tell a guy if it's working or not. I just consider myself lucky if it's not creepy. In fact, when it does work I've found myself getting wet unintentionlly during a session. In these situations, I try to casually clean myself up without him noticing. And if I do end up getting aroused at work, I won't finish myself off - I save that for after I get home.

I don't know why I refuse to let myself go at work. Maybe it's the professional detachment that protects me from the wackos (and keeps me sane) that prevents me from doing it. Honestly, I don't feel like I'm losing an opportunity to enjoy myself, since a really stimulating session is pretty rare. But I think this is just a case of where boys are different from girls. If you told a guy it's OK to "get off" at work, he'd probably whip it out right there and blow a load all over his desk.

So those are the secrets to pushing my buttons. Too bad none of you know where I am. LOL



Don said...

haahahahaha pinky toe FTW

titan said...

"Mommy!"? There are certain things you just don't wanna know. :s

RIV said...

"Pinky toe"???
I spit out all over my dashboard when i read that.
Dont blame you about not getting off at work for the reasons you stated.

Another great post, but i wonder how close (if ever) you thought about jumping on a customer for a freebie.

Tom Moran said...

Actually, my dear (and I really meant to tell you this privately, but since you brought it up ...) you keep giving little hints as to the location of your place of business, and eventually someone here who is far more industrious than I have ever been is going to figure out where you are.

Anonymous said...

samantha's day spa rox...!!!!!!

mark said...

Regarding "Guys Getting Off At Work"

A female friend of mine - married in her late 30s - was in a local department store one Saturday night and was looking for a sales clerk and finally found a young kid, in the alcove area where they had TVs who was jerking off. She was surprised and embarassed for him and what's worse he finally came out (no pun intended there) to help here and his tie was, hastily, tucked into his pants. So I'd think you're not far off when you said if they were allowed to guys would jerk off at work in heart beat.

jh0 said...

That is totally hot! Finally living up to the confessions part of your title. Alright, the whole damn blog is a confession.

snoka said...

Love your blog! Gotta go corny on you and agree. I love being told romantic shit like that too. I don't even care if my boyfriend just says it for my sakes and then switches to the "fuck me" and "sexy tits" when it gets to be his turn. So how different are we really?

Anonymous said...

What is the farthest/biggest cumshot you have seen?

cj said...

I've never messed around with a customer before. Like I said in the post on working with Hotties - they just make things more awkward.

Thanks for you concern, but I'm not worried about it. Down here you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a parlor. So good luck finding The Business! LOL

Distance wise - I've had guys actually shoot it into their own faces. Height wise - high enough to land on TOP of my head. Figure 2 feet vertical?

Size wise is another matter. If a guy saves it up for a week, it can get quite big. I've seen some where even I'm like "damn boy - don't you ever jerk off at home?"

Funny topic though - I might do a post on this one.


Anonymous said...

i nearly fell off my bed at "mommy!"

Aelric said...

holy crap!!!! ROTFLMAO

(man, I really can't get behind on here...)

EXCELLENT post CJ. And I liked your response to farthest/biggest LOL... tho to answer your question, once we are no longer 18... not everyone jacks off every 4 hours ;)

Thorn said...

Tom, I wouldn't worry about it. I was a detective for 25 years [and a pretty good one] and I'd be hard pressed to locate CJ from the material she has posted here [not that I haven't thought about it :)]. Would make a lovely challenge, but I'm getting too damn old to work that hard. Even to meet up with in interesting sort such as she.

Leesa said...

Aww, it's a shame you don't like dirty talk, I was going to recommend phone work to you as a sideline.