Thursday, August 19, 2010

Confessions of an Erotic Confessor

Hey guys. My little vacation was exactly what I needed to recharge my batteries, but it's funny how sometimes work just follows you no matter where you go. Let me explain.

I have a bunch of things I wanna share with you from last week, but I need to keep it simple else I'll be blabbing here all week. Anyway, let me start off by saying that this vacation was the longest time I've spent with a guy (Derek) in a very long time. And it was interesting in an academic kinda way. I'm back to those age old questions of what do I tell him and when. I spent the week pondering things such as:

Should I tell him about The Business?
How much should I tell him?
Confess that I'm not really a shampooer?
Admit I'm really a massage therapist?
Tell him I occasionally strip to a bra for extra money?
Tell him the whole thing is temporary?
Say my coworkers are all full service sluts, but I'm a good girl?


Makes for interesting conversation when he's saying something like "...I hope to manage the store in a few years and I may go back to school for my MBA..." Meanwhile I'm thinking "... I could tell him about the foot fetish guys, but definitely not the cross dressers..."

Now to make a long story short, I told him I'm really a licensed massage therapist and not a shampooer. I lied because guys usually expect massages all the time (which is another lie - most guys actually don't care and never take advantage of those particular talents of mine. Go figure). Derek was cool with it and said he understood (but I knew he didn't).

He then felt compelled to confess to me that he wasn't exactly truthful about how he found out where I worked. Apparently, he had gotten the directions from that skank girlfriend of mine, but then googled The Business and couldn't find anything. Said he knew all along there was something weird about my story, but didn't want to ask about it till I was ready. Thank Gawd he didn't try stopping by again!

Laying that much stuff on the table was easy. The weird part was towards the end of the week when we were messing around on the balcony of the hotel. He wanted me to "use your hand in that special way" (yes - he said it that gaily). So I told him to sit still so I could do it right. I went in the bathroom and got some baby oil from my bag (never leave home without it!) so I could give him a proper hand release. A few minutes later he was grunting and slapping the arms of his chair while I jerked him off onto the balcony floor. He turned to me, looked me straight in they eye and said "Where on Earth did you learn to do that? I swear that it felt just like a blowjob."

I wanted to tell him about my infamous double-handed criss-cross technique, and the various cell-phone videos of it floating around the web. But instead I just said "I musta picked it up somewhere."

CJ

21 comments:

GoodWill said...

Sounds like a straight up good guy. Very cool to hear.

And I'm sure his mind was blown, so to speak. If only he knew, lol...

BlueLantern said...

Damn, now I'm curious about this video of your famous technique floating around on the internet... Any chance we could get a link or some leads? :D

Anonymous said...

Tell him you're the Batman

fuge said...

hmmm what to search for to find this video...

Dee said...

Baby oil? Girl what's wrong with you. That stuff is loaded with chemicals. If you really cared about mother earth etc you would stick to all natural almond / grape seed oil, or extra virgin olives. Get with the times! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Idiots.

Anonymous said...

TELL HIM YOU'RE THE BATMAN

Anonymous said...

If one wants to get a massage from you, how can he get your business address?

Sergio said...

Well if you really had any talent
you would use your vagina to feel
like a handjob, the whole ''your
handjob feels just like a blowjob''
thing has been played out since 12BC.

I hate you, i mean i love you and
i hate it, please tell me more, you
are not a whore, please give me more
until i snore, please dont be a bore.

Anonymous said...

CJ, thanks for the jerk off material. :)

Anonymous said...

TELL. HIM. YOU. ARE. THE. BATMAN.

Tom Moran said...

I think you need to post some videos of your handjob technique on Spankwire. You don't have to show your face, and we'll all learn something. And I don't think Derek would mind being the lucky bastard you demonstrate on. :)

Anonymous said...

I don't know what she means by double handed criss cross but reminded me of this video (you can make a fake account to log in - need to be able to download torrents to get it) http://empornium.us/details.php?id=365631

These snapshots here give a pretty good idea of what's in the video: http://fapomatic.com/1005/best_handjob_screens.jpg

Anonymous said...

Whoa, that video should be shown in schools. Pictures don't tell the whole story

Anonymous said...

I am the Batman

DavidB said...

Totally unrelated, but what kind of condition do you keep your fingernails in? I would assume that long fingernails would get in the way, and you don't want to accidently poke a customer at the wrong time, so you would keep them short. Also I don't know if the oils or other stuff would eat at the nail polish and force you to keep them unpainted.

On the other hand being part of the "spa" culture, you may put a lot of care into them, especially as some spas do maincures. Also having long nails may be a "glamour" item, and might be more characteristic of full-service establishments that don't actually have to use their fingers. If that is the case I wonder if a girl's fingernails may be a tell-tale sign of whether they are a professional masseuse or not. (form vs function)

Anonymous said...

damn cj i wish i knew which palor ur at. i would drive from chicago to see ya!!!!!

Buddy and Snowball said...

I have to admit, I went looking for the videos. Sadly, I didn't find any. Now I am sad.

Sensual Rachael said...

I was directed to your page by someone reading mine. Glad he sent the link. Good luck! :)

Cash 2 Spare said...

I have been searching all over the internet for a massage With happy endings.. my town east Texas area.. is full of prudes.. what happen to just doing things for pleasure..? Please help me find someone near me!! Tyler Texas..

cj said...

BlueLantern
I can't help you there. I've probably let customers video their happy ending with their cell phones perhaps a dozen times. I won't let them show my face, and I get to review the video afterwards. I can only assume that they've made their way to the internet by now!


Anon,
I am Batman! I was laughing my ass off over this one. I think it would be easier for me to moonlight as a secret hero than an erotic masseuse.


Dee,
You're preaching to the choir! Olive oil is actually one of the best natural massage oils I use. The problem is that you smell like a salad afterwards, so most customers shy away from it. I use it in my personal life quite a bit.


Anon,
I can't see any readers for obvious reasons.


Sergio,
Now THAT would be an interesting trick.


Tom,
I actually have some video that I did with one particular customer from a while ago. But that shit could NEVER be posted since it hides nothing. Apart from that, I've never asked for a copy of any of the other videos of the hand releases.


DavidB,
I keep my nails short, but manicured. I don't have to type for a living, but long nails do not last long on a masseuse.


Cash2spare,
Texas is FAMOUS for their massage parlor industry. Crack open your local entertainment paper and you can't miss it.


CJ