Monday, January 10, 2011

Brett Favre Is A Dirty Pig

And I'm not just saying that because my beloved Eagles crumbled to one of his former teams. Or even that the Jets are still alive. I'm saying that because I've been following this story about him propositioning the Jet's team masseuses.

Forget the fact that this perv sexted another Jets worker and sent her pics of his tiny little sad junk. No, this asshole was actually trying to drag 2 of the team masseuses into some kind of sex romp. Would this be the first time the girls were propositioned by a multi-millionaire athlete? Yeah right - even I won't defend that one. But in an environment like that, you have to be more discrete.

I can only assume that the masseuses in question are attractive women. And why keep attractive women on staff? Because they can - that's why. But we also have to assume that they can give a wicked sports massage, else they would never have been hired. And you can bet money they also have several masseurs on staff for the same reason.

Does this mean that there's never any funny business in that kind of environment? Well, when I heard that the girls did some work at the players homes, I got suspicious. Honestly - do you really think the massages get better when done on a portable massage table in your living room? Yeah right. I'm sure the girls were making a couple extra bucks on the side by "taking care of" the players at home. And it was probably all very hush-hush. It's understood that it's there if you want, but they just don't talk about it.

But then this pig Brett breaks proper massage ettiquete and just calls them up and begs for a threesome?!?! They're not the fat crack-ho's he's probably used to back up in Wisconsin. They're women who worked hard to establish themselves as sports massage therapists for a professional sports team - a dream job. And if they give the occasional happyending outside of work, hey - more power to ya. But you had to be the pig that you are and try to wreck this good thing they had going, didn't you?

To make matters worse, the girls were basically fired when it all came to light. I'm guessing it's because everyone knew about the happy endings, so they had to distance themselves. But come on - that didn't mean that they weren't doing their jobs professionally at work! Sports massage is HARD work (no pun intended). It's probably the most intense and physically demanding form of massage in my opinion. So why would you want to lose that resource for the team?

Then this asshole had to go and spoil it for everyone. Thanks Brett - you're a real piece of shit. Now will you fucking just retire all ready?



Oilfield Trash said...

I agree with you. And I have a post for next week about that douche.

Continuous But Plural said...

I had no idea about any of this in the news, now I have to go and read about it.

Anonymous said...

I'm quite the fan of your blog, but please be a little nicer to us in Wisconsin.

While we I'm certain we have a statistically appropriate amount of crack whores here, I'm sure ever other state does too.

Also, not defending BF--he lost my support long, long ago.

Anonymous said...

Not defending Favre, his actions are disgraceful. With that said, how did he ruin a good thing? This only came out because the 2 masseurs opened their mouths. You think Favre is the only one to "break protocal"? If so, I've got a bridge for sale. They saw the opportunity to cash in and they are trying now to do so with the lawsuit. Athletes asked millions of girls for 3somes, didn't matter they were masseurs. If they were marketing interns same thing would've happened. More power to them for suing, god bless america, but your post is way off base. Stick to what you know. Hand Jobs/titty fucking and the occasional legit massage.

Anonymous said...

I feel bad for Brett Farve's wife who certainly deserves better than this...

Joker_SATX said...

Well Thanks for keeping this Joker posted on this news. First I have heard of it. Now it looks like I will have to go Trolling the Internets for the latest.

Anonymous said...

I have followed your writing for some time and I not only love the articles -- especially the interesting economic and political indicators -- but recommend it to others.

Until today.

I get the Favre criticism and agree, and I'm sorry that your Eagles lost although after two concussions and a lot of hard work I'm glad Rodgers gets to be out of Favre's shadow.

But the 'crack ho's from Wisconsin' was uncalled for. You are better than that, or at least I thought you were. I know it may have been a figure of speech, but still was beneath you.

Now if you want to rip on the idiots Ron Johnson and Scott Walker, feel free. You can call them anything you like. But there are a lot of decent women who don't deserve collateral from your Favre rage.

Anonymous said...

Not at all sorry to see Vick the Dog Killer get his ass busted up. Loved seeing him limp around. I just wish they'd made him stay out there and whipped him to make him fight a little more until he just fell over.

Dude trying to get his freak on = not an ass hole

Dude killing dogs for nothing more than his enjoyment = major ass hole

cj said...

I should have called this "Brett Favre is a Dirty Douche."

Don't mean to bash the cheese-head crack-ho's unduly. Just trying to make a point that he should know by know better ways of getting laid other than sexually harassing staff members doing their job.

Next Anon,
No, this came out because the 2 masseuses in question were let go after they complained about Brett harassing them.

And yes - I think he was the only 1 stupid enough to break protocol because there was no story and no one got fired up till now. So whatever they had going, it worked up till Brett fucked it up.

And you're wrong about the "cashing in." There was no big tabloid payoff or multi-million dollar lawsuit. They just want their jobs back - and who wouldn't want those dream jobs back? And it does matter who they are because they were employed by the team and lost their jobs over this. Brett could have just asked 2 skanks in a club for a 3some and no one would have had to lose anything (except their dignity).

I'm with you!!!!!

Last Anon,
Not that I think that abusing dogs is right by any means - but boy can that guy throw a football.

I just think of him as more of a cat-person.


Anonymous said...

Ok, I see that this is bad. But, I ask you one thing. Why call these girls and others in the massage industry a masseuse? I'm a therapist, and a sports therapist. I've worked long and hard to separate myself from the "masseuse" name. Although I find your blog funny, don't drag us all in to it by calling is something other then what we are...Massage Therapist!

Anonymous said...

long and hard lol

Thumber said...

@ 4th Anon,

You know that Vick was convicted, did prison time and paid a fine, right? As people say his debt to society has been paid. Get over it!

Thumber said...


Do you have any good stories about first time clients? By first time I mean not just first time at The Business but first time getting an erotic massage? I had my first erotic massage just in the past month. I would think from time to time you might get an interesting one...well there was that one old guy whose son had bought him a gift certificate. Any others of note?

Anonymous said...

Aw, come on, tell us how your REALLY feel and stop pulling punches with us!

Anonymous said...

You just wish the Favre had called you up!

Anonymous said...

I get that it feels better to think that Brett Favre has a small dick because he's an asshole. However, I would say he is average. One picture looked kinda smaller especially with his hand next to it though. His dick also didn't look fully erect in all of them (of course he IS so old lol).

Brett Favre is a dick but his is not "tiny little sad" in my opinion.

-Another Anon

Anonymous said...


Tell me the same thing when a child molester who has been convicted, done prison time and paid a fine moves in next to you. Remember then that you're not supposed to give a shyte anymore.

Dude's a POS, and I really hope someone ends his NFL career pronto.

unsempsa word verification said...

not just his nfl career, but those stupid blue jeans ads as well. who would buy a pair of pants just because a washed up old quarterback says he wears them? how fucking stupid is that...

Thumber said...

There is a convicted child molester that lives a few hundred feet from me. He's in the sex offender data base. He was convicted of making and distributing child pornography of girls under 16. I would never be friends with this guy. What he did was horrible. Probably only forgivable by God himself. But I would not refuse him to be able to work for a living. And in the U.S. sex offenders have never really finished paying their debt to society since they have to register wherever they live. They are restricted to where they work and where they can go, etc.

I love dogs. I can't personally forgive Vick for abusing and killing them. However, I do believe that he has a right to work. I don't think he should be allowed to work with dogs or other animals but I think its ok if he works in the NFL.

There's a difference between forgiving someone and "getting over it".

Anonymous said...

Wow, I guess I gave you more credit than you deserved, because you use the opportunity to slam other people a *second* time in your Favre rage. Disappointing from someone who doesn't like to be judged to be judgemental or casting aspertions ("why didn't he find two skanks instead") as yet another example.

Favre was an idiot, that's obvious. You just end up proving that women are often just catty to each other rather being decent.

I'll still read in amusement, but it will be a bit less entertaining now. --WI Anon

B said...


I think you have your information slightly incorrect. The news about Brett Favre's misdeeds have everything to do with women seeking payoffs. Jenn Sterger, the recipient of the sexts, was very much seeking a payoff in exchange for not speaking with NFL investigators in regards to the matter. The timing of the masseuses speaking out against him was at the height of the standoff between Sterger and Favre.


Dave.osborne15 said...

CJ- I have an unrelated question... Do you always leave the room to let the guy undress. This seems like a strange formality givin the outcome of the massage also, since there is a good chance you will remove at least some of your cloths.
I only ask, because I went to one place where the girl helped me take my cloths off, it was a real turn on. Also, once at a resort the massuse stayed in the room the entire time I undressed. She didnt speak much english, so I didn't know if I was to undress yet. She finally closed the door to the hall when I got down to my underwear, but she stayed inside the room watching. - Again a real turn on although no happy ending.

Anonymous said...

Brett favre is a pig but no-that masseuse is looking for money. If they were really so upset about favre's alleged advances they would have filed a lawsuit 2 years ago...the jenn sturger lawsuit (also took her over 2 years-I don't think she was really that upset-just looking for her 15 minutes of fame and money)was perfect timing for the masseuse and her husband to file. The Jets don't want bad publicity so they will probably settle out of court with both cases with an undisclosed amount. As a side note Brett favre's "sad little junk" is pretty average for a male-he looks to be about 5 inches and according to statistics most men are between 5 to 6 inches long. People watch too much porn where guys are 8+ (they do porn for a reason folks)

Anonymous said...

I agree with the person above...the only person I actually feel sorry for is the wife of Brett Favre.

Anonymous said...

Ditto that, it is unfortunate that as everyone gets in there shots, Favre's wife is the one who really suffers primarily due to his celebrity compounding the problem.

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest take on the whole sad situation as a spoof commercial from SNL:

Favre: Rise - "What should I do?"

Anonymous said...

Hey I am actually watching green bay stomp the bears right now. I live in wisconsin. I was also thinking about trying out my first massage tonight And hoping I was right about the place. That's how I found your blog. So ...I thought you might be interested to know that here in Milwaukee everyone in the service industry knows all to well about Brett and his antics. He was well known to come to downtown bars and try to drag chicks into the bathroom with a pile of coke and his pants around his knees. Apparently he was a pretty decent tipper tho.

Thanks for this blog. I am just getting into it and i hope it helps me find a place in downtown milwaukee that does what I need