Thursday, January 20, 2011

Confessions of a Masseuse

Hey guys. Sorry I've been gone so long, but with the slow days at work I've just been doing other things. So imagine my surprise when I finally checked back in and found such interesting comments on the whole Brett Favre thing.

Well let me start off by apologizing to any Cheese Heads I may have offended. I was in no such way implying that your crack-ho's are any worse than our crack-ho's. Let's just put it to rest and say that we all agree that it's time Brett finally retired. There.

My real intent in that post was to defend the poor massage therapists who were fired from the team. I've been following the story, and I don't think they were looking to cash in on any "story." They complained to management when Brett started harassing them. Management said they were aware of what was going on and would take care of it. And in the end they were still fired. That's when their story went public. And for the record I will ALWAYS take the side of the massage therapists!

And that brings me to another thing. One of the comments I got last week really bugged me. A fellow therapist said something along the lines of how she's always tried to distance herself from the term "masseuse."

So go ahead and google the word "masseuse" - I'll wait. Hmmmmmmmm... Hmmmmmmmmm.... Hum Hum Hum...

Done? What did you see? The first definition that pops up is "A woman who practices massage." And that's it. So we're really all sisters! All the way from that woman at the airport who does the chair massages, to sports massage therapists, to me - CJ. We're all technically masseuses whether you like it or not.

It's ironic, when I first started this blog it took a long time for me to accept the fact that I was considered a "sex worker" by my colleagues on the Dark Side. I mean heck - the "sex" part was only the 5 minutes at the end. The previous 40 minutes was all massage therapy, so I always considered myself more masseuse than sex worker.

Then there's my official job title - Erotic Masseuse. That pretty much covers both bases. My top coming off is the erotic part, and the massage is the masseuse part. Erotic - Masseuse.

So now I'm bothered by the fact that my sister masseuses (on the Light Side) would try to distance themselves from me! A sports massage therapist is a world away from erotic masseuse, I agree. Now your job is TOUGH. I don't have the stamina (or the patience) to do what you do. But by definition, you're still a "masseuse." Don't distance yourself from it - embrace it! But if it makes you sleep better at night, then just preface it with the word "sports."

I'm sorry if a lot of people still tend to think of the erotic side of massage when they hear the word "masseuse." But part of the purpose of this blog is to inform people EXACTLY what an erotic masseuse does, and that it's NOT the same as a therapeutic masseuse. I don't know how many times I've had to explain to some guys that most masseuses do not give happy endings!

Now there's one more thing I want you guys to think about. What else did you learn after you googled the word "masseuse?" Did you notice the 5th entry? Why that's... that's... ME! I'm one of the top 10 results to pop up!

And do you realize what that means? Basically, it means that your humble CJ is slowly re-defining the term "masseuse." Think about that... my humble little piece of the internet is now an authority on what it means to be a masseuse! Scary, huh?

So you better be nice to me.



Thumber said...

Not to sound like "Match Game" but...How slow is it?

Continuous But Plural said...

When I googled the word masseuse, this blog came up number 11. That's awesome, you are definitely getting a LOT of traffic through here!

Somehow, you've got to write a book, fictional or otherwise.

christy said...

Congrats on how far this blog has gotten! I've been reading forever and I love it! I agree, you should write a book, definitely.

Jim said...


Just really stumbled across your blog. I have read many of the entries and they are very informative and entertaining. But, here's my question: Sometimes you offer a "mutual" massage. The massage you give always includes a happy ending. In order for it to truly be "mutual" wouldn't the massage you receive include a happy ending?

contactme said...

I found your blog, and actually posted the link on my blog. I've read every entry...and you are hilarious.
However, dont you think those "sisters" are distancing themselves from you...just about as far as you distance yourself from your Asian "sisters"?
-Miss Fortunes

Akie A. said...

I imagine you get a lot of traffic with that type of ranking on Google. You'd probably be a millionaire if you got the same ranking for the words "happy ending". Great blog btw.

Tim S. said...

Ok, nice comeback on the "masseuse" but in fact the person that left the "Anonymous" comment about "masseuse's" was me. I'm a Neuromuscular Therapist that started off as a Massage Therapist, and I am in fact, Male. As I might get a kick out of reading your blog, I don't practice the "erotic" part. Also, you state in this page of your blog, the exact reason why I and several of my colleagues stay away from the word masseuse. If you search it, it does bring up more derogatory results that point to "sex workers" then most anything else.

I'm not in anyway stating that your choice in work is bad, but the fact that you do what you do, and call yourself a masseuse. Is exactly why legit female therapist do not want to refer to themselves as a masseuse. I'm just saying. Also, because I'm male. I just don't don't think the term fits me in anyway. And yes, I know of several men that do offer happy endings. I am not one.


Anonymous said...

Well congratulations CJ. I can see why your blog has become a success. I started reading a couple days ago and admit that I've developed a morbid fascination with what you do even though I never plan to get an erotic massage myself (I actually get somewhat depressed reading your stories sometimes-however I still can't look away from the computer screen! :/). As for the Favre incident I can't see how they weren't looking for money given how they waited over 2 years after the fact to file (a very long time and also perfect timing because it was at the height of the sterger/favre fiasco-it seems very premeditated to me-agree to disagree there lol). As for the lady who was upset with the use of the word "masseuse", I think she is trying to distance herself from what you do versus what she does. It seems unfortunate and unfair that the textbook definition of the word may not correspond with the perceived notion of what a masseuse is in today's society (society's unwritten connotation of the word may be the reason she prefers to be referred to as a therapist instead of a masseuse). I think you struck the nail on the head in a way when you jokingly said you were redefining the definition of the word masseuse...definitions and word associations can often change long before they make it to the oxford dictionary.

BlogLover said...

Hi CJ,

I found your blog thanks to my favorite Pervert from AZ, Miss Fortunes. I have yet to meet her but when I visit Phoenix I do plan to meet her.

I started reading your blog last week. I have now read every entry and most comments. Like others have written in the past, you need to monetize this, it is too good for you not to be making some ca$h from it.

I wish you all the best.

Joker_SATX said...

Ha! You were at the top of my Google search page...then I got the definition you described! You are conquering the world CJ!

Miss Q said...

Not to be a buzzkill, but Google caches your search history, location, etc etc (even easier if you have a google account of any, you know, Blogger) and modifies your search results based on the information it has. So if you're in Chicago, and you type in "massage parlor" more of your top results will be massage parlors in Chicago than ones in Canada, etc etc. So your actual traffic figures (how many unique visitors you get a day, etc) tell you much more about the impact you're having then your SEO rankings. They just show you that Google is slowly eating the world, lol.

Anonymous said...

While I can't speak for all of Wisconsin I just wanted to say your updated installment was much appreciated. That's the CJ that I enjoy reading and will return to awating your next adventure. I hope you enjoyed the SNL video.

All the best.

Anonymous said...

Hi CJ. I'm a massage therapy student. While I've found your blog entertaining, I just wanted to say that people who do massage without the happy ending, a strictly therapeutic massage, mostly prefer the title of "Massage Therapist". It's as if to say "Nope, no happy ending here. " When someone calls me a 'masseuse', I don't jump down their throat, but just tell them what I prefer. And sure, its really the same thing and I know you've been doing this for 10 years now (??) I'm not trying to be high and mighty either. Its just "masseuse" usually brings to mind a sleezy building with half naked chick jackin' off dudes.
Remember when hackers weren't seen as a bad person who steals information from others computers, but rather was a term for people who could break codes and whatnot? Then they got a bad rap because of what others were doing, so now the respectable honest ones don't call themselves hackers, but geek squad, lol. Anyway, I just felt like I had to say my bit. Thanks CJ, keep doin' what you're doin'.

Anonymous said...

Uh oh, now when some one searches on geek squad...

Todd Palin said...

You may have seen the article in the Enquirer about me, the first dude, getting busted going to a masseuse. The papers call her a prostitute and other nasty names, but she is only an erotic masseuse relieving my stress when Sarah is on the road.

Anonymous said...

Unsolicited, I know, but since I like your blog so much, some topic ideas for your future posts:

What are the economics of your business? Is it a good living or a great living?

What is your preferred "ideal" customer?

Do you (and if so, how) keep yourself from getting turned on in session? Ever wanted to just jump up on a customer?

If you were to get busted, what happens? Lay low for while then resume elsewhere?

If you still had job security, would you go legit, and if so, is it just money that keeps you in this business?

Also, your freak of the week stories are some of the most interesting to read. Keep 'em coming!

Johnny said...

I'm so bummed that your "sisters" don't see erotic massage as a legitimate discipline. It's been a lifesaver for me! I travel a lot, and what's worse for my marriage--a hooker in the motel or a nice safe rub-n-tug?

Even better is a massage with some erotic spice, as opposed that I've received from some ladies I could name who seem to think, "You come yet already? Too long time!" is just what I need to get off.

Finally, I *so* wish that EMT practioners would take technique seriously! I'm sure your skills are awesome, but my ATF can keep me on the brink for 20 minutes and the resulting orgasm is cosmic in its intensity.


PS I've often fantasized about hearing, "You wouldn't mind if I used our session to give our new girl, Candy, some training, would you?" A

S.C. said...

First of all, let me catch you up on something. There is no proper female massage therapist out there that would associate herself with the term “masseuse”. That change happened several years ago. Similar to “stewards” and “stewardess’” change to “flight attendants” because there was a negative connotation there as well. You may have a license, but you are anything but a legitimate massage therapist. You are a prostitute. Go ahead and google the word, I’ll wait. A prostitute is “one who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts”. You’re definitely a prostitute – whether YOU like it or not. As a legitimate massage therapist myself, I started laughing when you blogged that sports massage therapists, chair therapists, and you are all alike - that we are all “sisters” in a similar field. All you are is a prostitute posing as a massage therapist. I don’t care that you have a license. And neither will the Board of Disciplinary Action for Pennsylvania care when they revoke it if/when they find out what you’re doing. What you do brings a bad name to all of massage therapy. Girls like you are the reason that, on seldom occasion, we legit therapists (we does not mean you) are propositioned by men for sex acts. All because of whores like you.

cj said...

The term "mutual" refers only to the massage. Nice try though.

Miss F,
Wow - I guess that sounds fair. Never thought of it that way.

I googled "happy ending" and I'm no where near the top yet! But wouldn't that be hilarious if was up there?

I guess I'm kinda old school in the sense that masseuse was common to use when I was in training. Most people still preferred the term "massage therapist" though. And even though the term masseuse didn't have a bad rap with us, the whole massage parlor "dark side" was sort of a taboo subject. Not even joked about!

Oh I've got a few things to say about you in my next post!

Next Anon,
Thanks for the ideas. I've talked about some of them before, but it might be good for the newbies to talk about it again.

You just gave me an idea for a new post. I've more than a few "training" stories!

I'm sorry you feel that way. It's unfortunate that you choose to see things in black and white. But I still believe that we are all sisters in the sense that we all practice various forms of massage. Just because a woman does it in a shopping mall for tired customers sitting in a chair does not make her any less a person. And I still provide a quality massage. Just without clothes on.


Anonymous said...

Female MT here too--and while I view my own work in black and white, I don't have any room to "judge" another's work. We all have our niche. You're more of a rub-n-tug as stated by a prior commenter (that label tickles my humor), I'm more of a fluff-n-rub (primarily relaxation), and there are others that are more clinical within a wide-range of disciplines. I've always been an advocate for a client having more than one MT simply because each MT's touch is different and a range of benefits are had from seeing more than one.

It's all about client education, eh? Regardless of which branch of MT we're practicing--educating them regarding erotic and non-erotic, deep tissue techniques v. deep/firm swedish, etc. ;)

Look forward to reading further.

MrMike said...

You are up to number TWO in google, after only Wikepedia, and ahead of the definition.

Honey Williams said...

I'm a fresh massage school graduate. The way my teacher put it is she recognizes that, yes, happy ending or not everyone is practicing the massage part, but so the public and such can identify which side of the fence you're on, the ones who wanted to be identified as "no happy ending" and wanted to be more healthcare field legit wanted that "therapist" bit in their name. Makes it sound more official and medical. Sterile. lol