Thursday, April 7, 2011

It's Official - I've Been Found Out

I was always afraid this might happen, and it has. Derek has dumped me. Apparently I left my blog up on the computer and he discovered everything.

Then, he decided to dump me on my own blog by posting it in the comments. How cold is that! Anyway, the original is here, but I've copied it so you can read the whole thing...


******************************
You fucking bitch! This is Derek! I checked your computer when you went into the shower this morning. You have told total strangers everything about yourself, and here I am your boyfriend, the one you supposedly wish to keep for 1 year, the one who has satiated your vaginal deep dicking desires anytime and everytime you have craved my king size twix peanut butter, and I find out this way? That's right, it's big, long and sweet.

Since we're dishing out everything, maybe your readers would care to find out how we met. Well people, here it is...

It was a dark and stormy night. The winds were blowing due East, I was walking out of my hotel at the Abraham Lincoln on 5th on my way to Golds Gym. I was in town on business. I'm from California. Anyway, there she was at the entrance under an umbrella, nearly drenched. Hair disheveled and looking like a homeless goat. I pass her, but then I thought, maybe I can offer some help. So, I go up to her... "Excuse me, miss... I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your heart?"

She looked at me, silence... and then she burst into uncontrolled laughter spraying my face.

"Hahaha, you're a dork." she says.

"Alrighty, then. Tell you what, whoever you're waiting for isn't coming. Let's go to that Starbucks over there." I guess I'm not going to workout today. It's okay though, because it's Tuesday, and it's only biceps, triceps, and deltoids day. I didn't want to invite her into my room even though it was just there. I didn't know if she was an axe murderer. A public place with many witnesses is good just to get her out of the pouring rain so she won't get pneumonia.

"Is that right?"

"What, you're waiting for some guy you met on e-harmony. They all like long walks on the beach, and there's only a river here... hardly a beach. He's not coming."

She pauses for a moment, and flutters her eyes looking at me. It was as if she was melting. Anyway, either it's the rainwater or she's high.

We walk over to the starbucks, we order, and then she tells me her story. Bla bla bla... she finishes her drink, and all that's left in my short java chip frappucino is the whipped cream. "So... tell you what, I'll drive you home. Do you live far from here?"

"I live about 12 miles that way." She points to some vague direction to my right.

"Okay, well, let me get my keys in my room. You can come up if you'd like. I was going to take a cab to the gym."

"Sure."

So there we went.

I slide in my card key to open the door. And we go in. So I said, "Make yourself at home. I'm going to go into the restroom for a minute."

"Sure, okay."

I go into the rest room. I unbutton my jeans and then proceed to drain the Red October. There I am minding my own business, and then suddenly the door opens behind me and a hand reaches around and grips perfectly my nuclear powered submarine. Then I hear a whispering... "Shh... just relax."

Me, taken aback couldn't help but ask, "Uhm... what are you doing?"

"I'm giving you a relaxing massage."

"Is that right?"

"Hmm... what options would you like?"

"Options???" I turn around, and she was in her tight white short nurses' outfit wet as rain, and already partially undone.

"Yes. Would you like to see my boobs? Or maybe something more?"

At this point, I thought, I'll play along. I know Ashton Kutcher is outside with a camera crew punking me.

"Well, how about we take off all your clothes because they're all wet." Then I ease her into bed.

"Sure, why don't you take them off me?"

So I proceed to take off her nurse's hat, and then start unbuttoning her dress. And then she grabbed my hands and put them aside, "No, no no."

"But... I thought..."

"Not with your fingers silly. Take my clothes off with your teeth." I try to unbutton her clothes as instructed, and she helped a little bit. My face would occasionally rub on her nipples and feeling the soft warm caress of her breasts. I play along.

At this point, she's fully naked... and when I wasn't expecting it, she pushes me, and I fall on the bed. She jumps on me and straddles me. "Shh... just relax... and lay back."

She reaches down my black CK boxer briefs and finds the missile has been armed. She's on top of me, laying down and kisses me behind the ears... "Mmm... what is that? What are you wearing?"

"Uhm, nothing... just burberry."

"Mmm....yummy... g-r-r-o-o-w-l"

"Wait, should we be doing this? I don't even know your name."

"My name is CJ. It stands for Cum Junkie. Meow..."

So she starts stroking my cock, and I noticed she was using the ancient crouching tiger hidden dragon kung fu grip technique flawlessly. I didn't mention it and just let her keep going. At this point, I was starting to lose myself... my mind.

Like a tiger, I grab wrists, and in one motion pulled her onto the bed and turned. Her hands are pinned to the bed, and our eyes meet. Without saying a thing, I slide down slowly... she spreads her legs a little, and I get in between them. I didn't enter her... but my erect cock touch her clit.

"Oh, Derek..." she moans. "Please..."
"Please, what?"
"Please put it inside of me..."
I ignored her... I didn't put it inside... I just kept on rubbing her clit. And then she starts to make those involuntary twitches... "Ah!" short, high-pitched ahhs.

Wait... hey is there any potato chips in here?

CJ, all those times we've shared. All those times when you cried please stop just when you've orgasmed for the sixteenth consecutive time on my hard unmedicated love making magic wand and I ignored and continued on until you broke into tears in sheer ecstasy in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the bedroom, in the alley behind the laundry place, I thought those were real. I thought we shared those special moments. I thought you meant it because I know I did. Now I know you were just working me.

CJ, I'm a man. I'm not just a piece of meat. I'm not just a sex toy for your utter, total, and complete satisfaction. I have feelings. I am a man. I have emotions too.

We're done. It's over. I'm leaving back for California. I am a man, CJ and I deserve better. Hear me roar! Arf! Arf!

Derek
*************************************


Well the good news is that now I'm free to find a man with slightly better spelling and grammar skills. By the way Derek... you weren't so much a King Size Twix bar. More like a Mini Mounds Bar - much smaller and no nuts.

CJ

38 comments:

CJ FAN :) said...

April fools?

Vinnie said...

I recommend you quit dating outside the species

Vinnie said...

.

Egon said...

Oh no she di'in! (z-snap) Guuurl, those were typos, okay? Grammar? Spelling? Puh-lease, guuurl?

Jokes aside, it was cathartic doing creative writing again. Haha, I thought it was funny.

Libidinous Man said...

Hmmmm those are a lot of euphemisms for a break up. Why am I suspicious, could it be the recent April Fool's day post? Fool me once ...

Anonymous said...

I think it goes without saying, but I am going to say it. This guy is a loser, insecure, and inadequate. I have never heard anyone talk about his "Red October" so much, he should just change his name to Dick, WOW!

CJ, you have a line you will not cross with your clients, and if this guy took the time to read your blog he would understand what this line does. The main thing is, it makes sure that you never enjoy anything that happens at work sexually. You have the right to enjoy your job, and at times I feel you do, but not in a sexual way. That is the big distinction. Dick or Derek is so insecure that I am sure, if you think back over the time together, you can recall several times where his insecurity came out.

Plus, what a fucking pussy he is. Did not even have the balls to confront you directly. It is sad that this guy thinks he is a man. All Real men look at this guy as what he is; a little boy. I can respect him not wanting a girlfriend to do that job, some people just cant handle it, but there is no excuse for breaking up with you that way.

I would like to give him credit for the blog comment. He gets points for originality, but again, he could have done that after he broke up with you face to face like a man.

To summarize, you got off easy. The longer you stayed with him, the worse it would have been.

...and if this is April Fools. You got me!

Exceptional Joe said...

I think the give away that you should have let him go sooner was "It's okay though, because it's Tuesday, and it's only biceps, triceps, and deltoids day."

Any man that dedicates an entire workout to his arms has serious vanity problems. Also, he's probably a giant pussy, because any man who HAS to dedicate an entire workout to his arms isn't working out properly in the first place.

I don't mean to belabor the point, but that should be the key indicator when you think to yourself "should I feel bad for this?"

::shakes magic 8-ball::

The answer is unequivocally "no."

HighOnPoker said...

This has got to be an extended April Fools joke. There is no way Derek is that much of a tool.

Anonymous said...

Also, where did the nurse's outfit come from?

Will said...

I'm a man. Hear me roar. Arf Arf?!?! That's a bark, dude. Not a roar.

CJ, this is for the best. He was a definite weirdo. Even the "special moments" he described were creepy as hell.

Anonymous said...

This didn't actually happen.

Joker_SATX said...

I honestly think that you should look for an open minded guy who is secure in himself...I am willing to bet he is out there.

As for Derek? Missle? Draining the Red October? Nuclear Powered Submarine?

Sounds like a Navy Guy that has been out of port WAAAAAY too long!

Matthew Mcconaughey said...

"Uhm, See Jay. Turn over on your tummy, and let’s start there." I got some massage oil on my hand, and I walked down to the bottom of the table and started on her feet. Massages have to start slowly, and then gently increase the pressure and work their way up the body. From here, I can see her butt. Not bad, perky, cute.

"See Jay, do you know what we do here?" I asked her in a low, but confident voice as I knead her feet.

"Yeees. Ah" The way she said that was long and slow. And before I could say anything else, "So, what are my options and extras?"

"Well, the options are topless, g-string, or nude." I always feel funny saying this to a customer.

She twisted over, and looked at me over her shoulder, with darting eyes... "I want you completely naked."

Whoa, creepy. But hey, this is my job. So I stood up, and as I’m about to take off my white polo shirt, "Stop, wait." She said, "I want to do it." This time she’s sitting up, and the sheet fell off her breasts. She’s holding her arm over them only partially covering them; I know she doesn’t really want to cover them.

Reluctantly, I said, "Okay, See Jay... I will trust you. But please don’t try anything funny. We have rules here."

I’m taller than her so when she was pulling my shirt over my head, I had to get lower by bending a bit. I think she took this as a sign to push her breasts closer to me. With my white polo now on the floor, she slid her hands slowly over my pecs, and then over my abs. I twitched a little because it tickled. Her fingers stopped at the button of my khakis. The thing is I know her tricks. I get this all the time. She’ll pretend to accidentally rub her wrist or the side of her hand on my penis, and then pretend like nothing happened. So she unbuttoned my pants and undid the zipper slowly as she applied pressure and looked me in the eyes. I’m thinking, "Wow, that trick never gets old." That got me a little tingly.

Then she slid her hands around me, and into my boxer briefs almost cupping my butt, and in a single motion pushed down along with my pants, and then her cheek rubbed a little on my semi-erect warm penis.

"Okay, I’ll take it from here." I had to get her out of there because I don’t let my clients put my cock in their mouths. I’m not full service, and even if she wanted that, she couldn’t afford it. At this point, I’m pretty hard, but hey, I’m only human.

I gently put her back on the table and covered her with the sheet. At this point, she’s getting her merry conclusion. I went back to her feet and began the massage.

I worked my way up to her calves, and then I asked her, "Is there something troubling you? I noticed you were sad and distant earlier."

"Yes... well," she hesitated, but she eventually opened up, "my boyfriend... Derek. We broke up." Well, all this time, he thought I was shampooing dogs at a veterinarian’s office for a living then he discovered my secret."

"What’s your secret?" I asked. I’m massaging her thighs now.

"I can’t tell you."

"Why?"

"Because..." very well, I thought. I left her alone.

At this point, I slid the sheet over and began massaging her butt cheeks. "Mmmmmm, ahhhh," as she exhaled.

As I was moving up to the small of her back, my cock accidentally touched her finger tips. She seemed to welcome this and started to play with it a little bit. I have a script for this, so I bent over and leaned over her ear and whispered, "Uh uh uh, See Jay... don’t you know that’s against the rules?"

She grinned... "What? I’m not doing anything."

I said "You know you’re allowed to touch me only within reason."

Her grin turned into a wicked smile, so she stopped fondling me, but rested her hand on my penis anyway. I thought, okay, that’s reasonable.

Matthew Mcconaughey said...

I tried to massage the farther side of the small her back now, and this time I had to get even closer. By getting closer, my entire cock up to my balls fell into See Jay’s hand, and she started moving her fingers again. I let it go on for a bit because I won’t be on that side for too long anyway, and I don’t want to make her upset -- after all her BF Derek just ditched her. Onto her back and shoulders now.

"See Jay, can you turn over please?" I asked her whispering letting my warm breath touch the back of her neck. I don’t know what it is but chicks gobble it up when you whisper just behind their ears. So she turned, and this time there was no sheet. She was completely naked.

I was standing over her head massaging the back of her neck and forehead. Then I went down to her clavicle, and then got closer to her breasts. You know how you know when women want you to play with their breasts? They arch their back.

I gave her the minor speech, "See Jay, if you would like me to skip any area, please let me know."

"No, it’s okay. It feels good. It’s relaxing. Please keep going. Don’t stop." She said in euphoria. I got more oil just to make sure my hands slid easily.

There is a correct way to massage breasts. You don’t start from the top. You have to start from the bottom or the sides and caress up and end it with a slight nipple pinch. Because I’m over her head reaching over to massage her breasts, my cock brushed on See Jay’s cheek again. She pretended to turn her head and her lips lightly touched the head. I got a little startled because that’s really sensitive.

So I stood up and walked over to her side to finish massaging her breasts and eventually her stomach. I look at the clock, 5 minutes and then I looked down... I saw a glimmer between her legs. It was shining despite the dim lights. See Jay was really wet, I didn’t know whether to expect a tsunami. So I eased to a stop, and then gave her the standard speech, "If there’s anything else on your body you would like me to pay attention to, please place my hand there."

You can tell when girls are enjoying themselves from their eyes. Even if they’re closed. You can see them smile through their eyes. With her eyes closed, See Jay took my right hand, and first put it on her chest, and slowly slid it down just above her landing strip and then really slowly she slid one of my fingers where it was really wet. She applied pressure; my ring finger almost went in. I pulled back right away. She spread her legs just a tad. I thought of getting more oil, but by the looks of her pussy, she was already wet and really swollen. So I started massaging her clit. First, in long slow stroking motion; when the lips are really swollen, they’re very sensitive, and if you do long continuous rubs, chicks cum like firecrackers... they start twitching.

"Wait, Matthew. Don’t I get extras?" she asked me this with a sanguine complexion on her face now.

"Well, I’m being honest, I don’t feel comfortable giving you the extras yet." I told her. "We’ve just met."

"Come on... I promise to be a good girl." She pleaded coyly and fluttered her eyes. And then she flashed me a five dollar bill! OH YEAH, now we’re talking!

"Okay, well, I offer a hand release, a breast release, and a thigh release." I told her.

"Can you tell me what each one means?" she asked.

"Sure. The hand release is where I massage you into a merry conclusion. A breast release is simple, I lay down, and you sit on top of me, and you rub on my chest with a helping hand until you climax. And the thigh release is where you straddle me, and you get to rub your clit on my cock."

First of all, as much as I like the thigh release I dislike it because it’s so close. And if a girl really wants to take advantage, it’s very easy to slip it in. Then she went, how much for the "Cock release, I mean, thigh release?"

Matthew Mcconaughey said...

I figured if she was waving five bucks at my face, I’m going to make her pay, "Uhm... $5.50?"

So I laid down on the table, and then I put my hands on her waist and helped her up. With her feet beside me, this is the closest she is going to get to having sex with me. So she sat down on me and her opening landed right on the shaft of my penis. Damn, it’s really hot and wet. Normally, I do this only for regulars I’m very comfortable with.

She started sliding back and forth. She was doing it a bit too vigorously that the head of my dick is getting lost and there’s a good chance that in just the right angle in one slide, it might slide into her pussy. So I clandestinely tried to hold down the head of my cock to make sure it doesn’t go in, and then she grabbed my wrist and put it above my head and pinned them down, and then she continued sliding back and forth... Wow, I’ve never been over powered like that before, this is kind of hot. I looked down, and I noticed, my tip is getting wet. She was moaning and breathing hard and going faster, who wouldn’t get his tip wet at that?

She got brave, and held down both my wrists with one hand over my head, and then she slid down her free hand onto my cock. The whole time, she’s looking into my eyes... and then she lifted it with her fingers, and then started to slide down... I felt the head of my penis touch something really warm and wet at that point. I pulled her off me, and put her on the table. I spread her legs, and started giving her her massage. By the way, there are a few clit tricks I’ve learned over the years. The first trick is when they’re wet and swollen, you don’t touch the clit directly... you have to touch the sides.

I decided to finally end this. With my index and thumb, I gently pushed back and forth on the hood of See Jay’s now very swollen clit. And she’s moaning... "Oh... Matthew... please give it to me." So I go into my script... "Mmm... baby, you want my cock inside you?"

"Yes, please put it deep inside of me."

I was using the wax-on wax-off technique by now, and she was cumming like a freight train (note to self: tell Tom Cruise, my boss, need more sound-proofing in the rooms). I thought I was going to have to buy a new table by the way she was shaking.

My secret is to keep the massage going even after she has finished her orgasm. Damn, that was a good day. I made $12 on that 45-minute massage! So we chit chatted for a little longer, and I got my money. I put on my clothes, and as I was bending over to pick up my pants, she copped another feel in between my legs. This girl is brave and is getting a lot of freebies. I think I’m getting ripped off.

On the way out, I grabbed a little treat from the front, "Care for a Mini Mounds Bar? No nuts."

She looked at it for a moment, then at me, then tears began to fall and she went ballistic and ran out the door, "Waahh!!"

Weird.

Matthew Mcconaughey said...

Confessions of a Male Erotic Masseuse, pt. 1

So last week, a new client walked into The Enterprise. Yes, that is where I am employed. Let me tell you a little something about what we do here. I’m a male erotic masseuse. We give lonely and horny, not necessarily in that order or sometimes in combination wives and girlfriends massages, and for the most part if we feel comfortable enough with them, they get a merry conclusion (wink, wink).

Let me describe her to you. She was about 5’6 or maybe 5’7. I take that back, closer to 5’8, blonde, huge knockers. Cute face. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give her a high 6, no wait... let’s make it an even 7. At first, she was aloof. If I didn’t know any better, I would say she was a newbie. I engaged her in the lobby, "Hi, how can we be of service today?"

At first, she looked at me from the corner of her eyes. Then she turned squaring our shoulders. I’m not bragging, but a lot of people have described me as a young and better looking Matthew McConaughey. So, I’ll call myself Matthew. Anyway, she asked me, "Will you be the one giving me the massage?"

"Sure, I could. But maybe you should meet our other professionals first?" on cue, my colleagues from the back walked out in a line as if to display the latest fashions from Paris. They are Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt and Gilbert Gottfried. After she looked at them like it was a police line-up, she turned to, and asked, "Would it be okay if you gave me the massage?"

"Sure, not a problem at all." My two o’clock cancelled today so I’m free. I took her hand, and led her into my room.

As we were walking into my room, I chatted her up, "This must be your first time here. My name is Matthew." I extended my hand to shake, but with reticence because extending too far is like get away from me, but if you do it close enough, women use the hand contact to move in for a hug. It’s weird how girls have their modus operandi.

"No, I’ve been here before. Uhm, uhm... I saw Val Kilmer last." Unbelievable! She knew the code, the lingo, the etiquette -- she was LYING -- there is no Val Kilmer here. At this point, I know she’s cool, so I will be offering her my options.

"By the way," Wait... let me change some names here to protect the innocent, "my name is See Jay." and that hand shake did turn into a hug. She hugged me tight so I reciprocated. At the end of it, she thought she was being slick by sliding down her hand over my left butt cheek.

"So, I’m going to step out while you get comfortable." This is her cue to disrobe and further a test of whether she’s a narc. If she’s fully covered, she only gets a therapeutic. If she isn’t, then she gets what she came for, a merry conclusion.

"Dude, what’s her name?" Gilbert Gottfried asked me in the breakroom.

"See Jay."

"Yeah, she looks sad. Are you going to fuck her?"

"Dude, you know I’m not full service." Amused and slightly annoyed I walked back to my room. Gilbert Gottfried has been giving full service to some girl he calls Audrey. But that’s a different story.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK, "See Jay, may I come in?"

From behind the door, I heard, "Yes, please come in."

Okay, so let me describe the room. It’s a small room. On one side, the massage oils are sitting on the warmer, and in the corner I have a Bose Sounddock II cradling my iPhone. The song Every breath you take by the Police was on. There were fresh rose petals on the bed, and a lavender scent lingered in the air. The light was dim, and it was a comfortable warm temperature.

I opened the door, and there she was under the white sheet – sort of. I knew See Jay was horny and was trying to seduce me by the way she covered herself. The sheet was barely over her breasts, I think I can see a little of her nipple, and her left thigh was barely covered up to her torso indicating she’s completely naked.

Anonymous said...

If it was indeed Derek, and if he wanted to give you a lesson, he would have revealed where the parlor is on your blog. This story is not true...because that's what an angry boyfriend would do

Marcus Myself said...

Whether April fools or not I agree with Joker; a secure man would not have a problem with your job - hell, there would be a lot of benefits.

CJ, you seem like a great lady, I hope you have or find a great guy that makes you happy.

Anonymous said...

I tend to agree with the anonymous commenter that said "If it was indeed Derek, and if he wanted to give you a lesson, he would have revealed where the parlor is on your blog. This story is not true...because that's what an angry boyfriend would do"

An angry boyfriend would have revealed the whereabouts of the business -- or at the very least CJ's real name. Plus, as someone else stated, I can't imagine CJ dating such a tool.

S. Snow said...

Wow... Hope it just an extension of April the 1st!
Why the hell would he write that story? That sounds like he is trying to one up your style or he's got a very girly side.
I worry daily about the same thing happening to myself.... Living a double life sucks!!

Best luck to you!!! next time you find a new boy toy either tell them what you do asap ya meet or keep ya game tight girl! ;)

Best of luck to you!

Anonymous said...

well its official, this blog has contracted aids and should just be terminated.

it was a fun run, but stick the fork in it.

Melissa Blade said...

Derek writes like a woman. Arf, arf???? Really?

cj said...

Hey Guys,
This wasn't so much another April Fools Day joke as it was an overzealous reader. If you click on the link, you'll see.

As for the REAL Derek, he still has no clue and is happily under the delusion that I pay for my new truck and all those shoes with my meager tips as a shampooer. As long as a guy is getting laid on a regular basis, he really doesn't pay much attention to the small details.

I'm pretty secure with my computer and never leave any incriminating screens up. And that goes for work as well as home.

As for my phony internet boyfriend - I found his little exercise in creative writing a real hoot, so how could I have NOT shared that with the rest of you! I'm not one to post stuff from other people, but I thought it was funny!

CJ

Anonymous said...

Ok, either this is another joke, or "Derek" is a big loser. What kind of man would write that crap onto a computer.

Come on CJ, less lame jokes and more stories about the crazies you meet.

Egon said...

Jesus H. Jones and Axel Rose!! You guys chillax. I was being funny and overtly facetious. I can't believe so many of you were serious. You really didn't see through the joke? Do you think that really happens in real life? The comedy bits were laden throughout short of having neon lights shone on them.

If you didn't see the jokes in the story and thought that was plausible, that tells me that whole scenario was normal for you, and you know people that talk like that. Illuminating for me.

That was my version of Meet-the-Fockers/Something-About-Mary Confessions of an Erotic Masseuse.

I'm changing my website to http://www.coolguydork.com instead.

I'm stupefied at the outpouring of rescue parties that surfaced wishing CJ I-hope-you-find-real-love stuff. If I didn't know any better you dudes were holding out in your minds that one day you'll get laid by CJ.

On the other hand, CJ. I do like your blog. I stumbled on it when I was researching content for mine, and it is captivatingly funny! Thanks for posting my contribution to it.

BTW, did you get Part One of Matthew Mcconnaughey's post? It's not funny without Part 1.

Anonymous said...

A secure man wouldn't care? That's nit called being secure...that's called being callouses and uncaring. Borderline pimp who sees her in the same way as her customers do -- little more than a piece of meat who can work a dick.

Anonymous said...

Well, I enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

CJ. You're just a cheap whore that is bought and sold daily.

Anonymous said...

more i read this the more i believe this is complete fiction i have pretty good hooks to all massage places, and this one does not exist. It is a story and cj is probalby some fat bitch working on her writing career

James K Polk said...

Matthew Mcconaughey write your crap somewhere else your stuff is boring and wastes my time scrolling by it.

Shannon Rae said...

Yeah, I remember that comment from a few months back....totally lame read. Boring and stupid with no hook.

Shannon Rae said...

Did you see the most recent Simpson's? Homer's getting a massage and he says, ''Masseuse's half doctor half prostitutes who solve everything!''

Anonymous said...

Anyone here old enough to remember "Moonlighting" with Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd? A good (even great) show until they constantly broke character (and the fourth wall) by launching into fantasy as well as speaking directly to the audience etc.

This is how the last few months of this blog have appeared to me. Straying into the mundanely ludicrous instead of the excellently entertaining ridiculous.

Obviously it is totally unimportant to her fans, and of course CJ herself, that I feel this way but I wish to make a request. CJ, please return to publishing your main material for the blog. I feel if you do this your book(s), which I am sure you have begun saving your best stories for, will take care of themselves.

Anonymous said...

Here here!

Anonymous said...

Well he is a pussy but a relationship is about intimacy?At least that's the bullshit everyone likes to bring up and by having this blog and all of these "Adventurous" exploits he should know that he's getting involved with someone who partakes in these actions.Good luck finding "Secure" guys who are accepting of this "I rub customers off sometimes".He knew nothing about the things you do or the Sugar daddies you've encountered and how sweet you are to them(He should of guessed this if the above story is true).A guy gets jealous geeze if a man looks at anyone other than his GF he's horrible& a pig a Massage Therapist that rubs other men off and spends time touching other bodies the BF needs to be "Accepting" "Understanding" and "Secure".This is why you avoid relationships no one to answer or explain to.This is what happens.

Anonymous said...

Derek was a twink who bottomed in gay porn films.

Anonymous said...

Fake blog

zeot said...

i kinda find it funny, the whole thing was abit poorly written at odd times enough to seem fake... plus he said you called him derek at some point and you didn't actually get his name in the story 8-) so how did you know he was derek... If it was you writing i don't think you would have missed, or i could possibly be just baked thinking too much into it. lol