Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Freak of the Week - No Means No

I know what you're thinking - how can I have a FOTW when I'm not even working in The Business anymore? Well, that's an interesting story and I'm almost ashamed to tell you about it.

Almost. Lucky for you.

You see, In the last couple of weeks, I've discovered that little old blue-haired ladies don't tip nearly as well as little old horny gentlemen. I guess "discovered" is a bad word since I really knew it was going to happen. I'm not going to fault little old ladies either since they need therapeutic massage too.

But what I really need right now is one good breast release to help me make my car payment. And the one I wasted last night on Derek didn't pay for shit (well, dinner maybe). Now the combination of a well fucked boyfriend and little old ladies with knots in their backs may make for a slightly more satisfying professional life, but they make for a crappy financial life. So here's the bit that I dreaded confessing to you guys.

I've kinda sorta been doing outcall. Now for you newbies out there, "outcall" massage is when you go visit a customer instead of them coming to me at The Business. Before I continue let me state quite plainly that I am NOT doing full service. It's pretty much been what I was doing at work - massage followed by a happy ending.

You see, what happened is that right after I walked out of The Business, I pretty much stopped answering my phone. Then after a week or so, I started picking up and letting my worried Regulars know that I'm still alive and that I've decided to change my situation. I had mostly well-wishers at first with the occasional offer to "...call me if there's anything I can do..."

Then the offers started to come in. "Hey, could you come over to my place for a session for old times sake? My wife is outta town and..." You see where I'm going with this, right?

Well, I've seen 5 of my old Regulars so far, and it's been pretty cool. I've met them at their places, or the occasional Super 8. And I have to admit that it's actually been kinda refreshing not having to watch a clock, or worry about answering the phone. These outcall sessions have been pretty good so far.

Then there's Harold.

Harold is in his 50's and divorced. Professional guy and one of my more reliable Regulars. I could always count on seeing him once a month, and it was always the same thing - 1 hour G-string with a standard happy ending. No options. No role play. No outfits. No spanking. No foot worship. No cumplay. Nothing.

Now that I'm "independent" and decided to offer outcall to some of my more trusted Regulars, I was expecting sooner or later to have someone ask about full service. It always happens once you're outside the doors of The Business. You're 2 consenting adults in the privacy of a room with no one else's rules to abide by. It happen and I really don't blame guys for asking "... what else do you do?"

Well, Harold was the first to ask. And boy did he ask. It was almost like he flicked on his "Inner Freak" switch when he heard I was willing to see him at his place.

So I showed up at his house with my Bag-o-Tricks:

Massage oil
Clean sheet (you'd be surpised how few guys keep clean linen lying around)
Baby oil
Baby powder (a popular option)
Extra bra and shirt (in case of cumstains)
Relaxation CD
Hand sanitizer
Breath mints

I had never been over to his place before. It was a typical bachelor pad. As I expected, I needed my clean sheet to cover his bed since his sheets looked they were ready to crawl away on their own power. I did a quick scan of the room to make sure there were no hidden "nanny cams" to capture the fun. That's one of the reasons why I've never liked outcall - I don't get to control my environment like I could at The Business.

Harold gets undressed and I can see that he has already "risen" to the occasion.

"Uhhhh... Harold...Did you just pop a bottle of Viagra or did you just miss me?"

With a sort of pride in his voice he asks "Do you like it? I figured I might need it to last me for the next hour. So I took a pill."

I think I shuddered at the thought of giving this man a 1 hour handjob. There was obviously some sort of miscommunication on his part so I tested the waters with "Don't you think you're gonna be a bit uncomfortable with that dangerous weapon while you're lying on your stomach?"

"St-stomach" he stuttered. "I was hoping we could skip all that and get right to the point." Now his voice kinda slowed down as if he saw some brake lights way up the road and suspected there was some traffic hazard up ahead. "You do know what I mean, right?"

"Harold," I said firmly, "What were you expecting today? You know I'm not full service."

Guys and girls - you should have seen the look on this man's face. You would have thought I just told him Santa Claus isn't real. Or the Tooth Fairy. And I shot and killed the Easter Bunny.

Crushed is a good word to use here. Devestated another. Disappointed just doesn't seem to do the job. It was so bad, that for a second (a VERY BRIEF SECOND) I was taken back to my younger, more reckless days, and the long-ignored, rarely-used, totally-neglected notion of "Pity Fuck" just sort of lifted it's ugly head and tried to dust itself off and make itself presentable.

Unluckily for Harold, my rational thought kicked in and told that notion to "sit the fuck down." This isn't high school and that isn't my senior prom date who to this day I still can't figure out why I agreed to go with him when I had soooooo many better options.

And this is pretty much all the nonsense that danced through my head at this moment while I stood in the bedroom of a fully naked man sporting a drug-enhanced hard-on. You see, this kind of nonsense didn't take place in The Business because we had rules and people followed them. A month ago it would never have occurred to me to pity fuck a customer because he's giving me puppy dog eyes. But now that I'm in the middle of something that looks more like a date gone bad, I find myself doing and thinking things that are just crazy.

When a session starts to go in the wrong direction, I stop everything, collect my wits, then take control of the situation. So I took a deep breath and told Harold I'm flattered by the thought, but I have a boyfriend and therefore we need to remain professional. And believe it or not, this seemed to make some sort of sense to him. He nodded in agreement as if this sounded perfectly reasonable. Guys are like that - they need rules, formalities and ritual. You take that away and they're lost.

"Soooooo... what can we do then?" he asked hesitantly.

I smiled at him and pulled off my tank top. And an hour later I made my car payment.



Reflex said...

On the one hand I'm glad you are alright. On the other I had harbored a small hope you'd make a more drastic change than this. Ah well, I'm glad your maintaining your standards for the customers, however.

Tom in NH said...

Crushed, devastated, disappointed? Rules, formalities, rituals? My God CJ you have a gifted hands (pun intended) and KNEAD to write a book! No more car payments for you!

Melissa Blade said...

Outcall sounds dangerous, particularly if you are not willing to offer full service.

What about renting a massage studio? I used to work out of my home and then started renting a place for a couple hundred a month.

Anonymous said...

I think that you as an independent will be raking in the big bucks in no time! Good for you chica!

Tristan said...

CJ, you've talked about starting your own business. What's stopping you right now?

Anonymous said...

Jesus, you are full of hypocrisy. The old "I have a boyfriend" speech while jacking a guy off. 10-1 odds the reason you quit is that some guy got fed up with that cocktease bullshit routine you try to pull.

He bent you over the table took a release the way he wants it and you can't claim rape. So now, you are all betty butthurt attempting to gather some mode if justification from strangers to hide the fact that you ate nothing more then a cheap who're with dreams of grandeur. Sweetheart, you will always have that champagne taste, but with beer pockets.

You looked down on your ex-coworkers for full service, but you are just one car payment, one emergency from taking a load in that "oh so prideful" test just to make a bill. I hope someone posts the video of the bawwwwing and your realization that you are a failure.

Reflex said...

Gotta love the jackasses who always show up to offer their own personal theories/fantasies whenever CJ's life changes significantly at all. Seriously, go check any of the posts where she talks about actual or possible life changes and its always the same bullshit.

mouserepairman said...

Welcome back, CJ! I (WE!) missed you.

Anonymous said...

I respect you for sticking to your limits. It must be hard working as an independent with Dereck around. I'm still dying to hear the story of you leaving the business.


The Other Anonymous said...

To our dear friend Anonymous:

Jesus, you are full of hypocrisy. The old "you're a whore" routine while you check out sites about women jacking off men. 10-1 odds the reason you're here is that no girl will touch your scabby cock with a 10-foot pole.

You look down on CJ, but you'd get a handjob from her any day.

dingsio said...

you think you could make mine? hell, i'll beat your meat for an hour if you just slip out to the bank and cover that damned note.

no anomynous here, i am Hotziz Labyrinthodont said...

actually, he would PAY for a handjob from her any time he had the opportunity. PAY for it and be goddamned lucky his mother met his father when she finishes him off.

fuck hypocrits up the ass with with a fucking elephant tusk wrapped in bob wire

The regular said...

Hey CJ, Looove your writing style girl.
You have a real talent for writing (amongst other things). Not many people can write like you do.
Whatever way you wish to go I can only wish you best of luck however please keep writing this blog. Even if you make it up, it's still a great read.

South AL JAC said...

So great to hear you're hanging in there. Please do keep us filled in. I've been checking your blog 1-2 times a week for a long time now and it's refreshing to see you post again.

Anonymous said...

Have you thought about becoming a cam girl? Sounds like you are use to showing guys your boobies and helping them get off. I personally would love to see you there. Something to consider plus, no cum in your hair.

Shannon Rae said...

Hell Yes CJ!!!!!!!!!

rdg-abe said...

those of you who cry about anonymous people mocking her for being a whore are basically just as lame as the other side. you like to accuse the anons of being here to jerk off to teh stories, you're right, of course, because the anon guys are into whores. its cool. so are the rest of you, except for the weird fanclub of sex workers who cheer her on either because they're titaliated by the difference or because they like other people to be in their same cess pool.

but, before you accuse me of being some sort of hypocrit, I'm not. i fucking love whores. i love chicks who let me stuff dollars in their pants and finger them in the back room. chicks who jack my cock off for a fitty after a rub down. chicks who take loads from scum of the earth in poorly filmed movies. love 'em all. love them because they're whores, and nothing but.

oh, and before you say the phantom cj isn't a whore, please review the following:
"I smiled at him and pulled off my tank top. And an hour later I made my car payment."

...whore. Sexual gratification for money. Don't care if its spreading wide or just beating some dude off, it is what it is. Further, just like one of the anons said, how big of an emergency before those pretty little legs spread for a "sugardaddy?" Maybe just some random reg. What's it gonna take? Car repo? Being evicted if they don't pay rent? Hospital bill?

We'd all probably whore for the money if the sitch was tight enough and we could, she basically already has....

"I smiled at him and pulled off my panties. And an hour later I made my car payment."

Shit, we're only one word away.

Anonymous said...

Sure is judgemental in here. Especially since, ya know, you could leave and not read THE DISGUSTING FILTH ZOMG if it offends you so much.

CJ, I think your writing rocks. Keep safe, I trust your judgement. I'm glad you're still updating.

Anonymous said...


lots of people out of the woodwork today.

Let me just say I hope your new approach works well and you don't get a lot of folks who make you' uncomfortable.

There is nothing wrong with your personal limits, indeed, as a client that's pretty much my limits too.

I hope you find enough clients in your area who appreciate the service you do provide.


Anonymous said...

Hey girl, love the blog! If you read the comments, which I'm certain you must do, you may have detected a little bit of nudge, nudge, hint, hint about how often you keep us updated with new posts. You've slowed down a bit this year and us rank and file blog readers are hoping you could address this somehow. You used to write pretty often, so I bet a lot of us check a couple times a week for updates. Could you mention something about your plans for the blog?


Cherrygirl said...

Hey CJ love your blog :).

Just a note, Nuru Massage (not sure if you have heard of it?) is that latest craze and you can make good money. Might be something worth offering to your clients? I would charge and extra $50 for it and clients are willing to pay.

Devoted Reader said...

Hi CJ:

As a devoted reader, I'm glad you're back. I worry a bit that by doing outcall completely in secret, you are putting yourself at substantial risk. At a minimum, you ought to have a gf who knows where you are going and when you should be back and who's willing to call the police if you don't check in when you should.

For many years I've been tempted to try arranging for an outcall massage, but (a) don't want full service and would say no if it were on offer and (b) I'm scared to death it would be a set up by local law enforcement. If only I lived in your part of PA! I suppose you don't travel for work. I'm not more than three hours away...

I also want to say that I agree with lots of the others who have commented here that you are a fantastic writer with a great voice. You need to turn this blog into a book somehow, some way. Your blend of snark, seriousness, and sensuality is something special. Please keep writing the blog.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back! I've missed reading your blog and beg you to tell us the story of why you left the business!!!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I was supposed to go to bed hours ago, but I'm to amused by this blog! I love that everyone is bashing this woman for being a "whore". We all have different limits on who we are as sexual beings. I'm one of those uptight, "can't have sex if I'm not in love," people. I've only slept with my husband, and I'm proud of that. I've seen three penises in my entire life, and I'm fine with that.

Now, to get to my point. We're all whores in some way. My first job at a movie theater left me mopping up vomit from carpet. Do you know how hard it is to get vomit out of a carpet with a mop? Now, do it for $5 an hour. AN HOUR. If that's not some form of whoring , cheap whoring at that, I don't know what is.

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Not all marriages have the same rules about what is "cheating" and what is not.

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