I'm not going to repeat the whole thing here, but some very interesting points are brought up. I suggest you read the comments there before catching up here. Now this subject is something that I can't do justice to in a single post, so I may address this more seriously later. But for now, I'll just continue with the questions so I can finally catch up...
Anonymous said...
Well I hate to admit I became the VICTIM of a cheating husband who visited parlors. Let me be clear and say we've always had a great marriage and super sex. Basically anyway he wanted it anytime, anywhere. So imagine my surprise when I discovered his visits to these places. My anger, hurt and ultimately devastation led me to look up and search for where these places were in my area and how many and I discovered your blog. I gotta say I am shocked at your nonchalanonce about this and your commenters defending you by saying if the wives kept there husbands happy they wouldn't look for this. What about the wives at home working their fingers to the bone to keep happy house happy kids and happy very happy husband? Why are some of you ignoring te fact that this is illegal, immoral and devastating to families especially te children who lose their fathers? Why are you CJ proud and blatantly so non caring about the families that are destroyed? I don't know you and by no means want to direct my anger towards you because the fault lies mostly w the husbands but explain to me why this is ok to you. My words are gonna be harsh but this is prostitution, end if story. Ok your not having sex w them but their climaxing between your fucking tits and ass? Something thyself supposed to be reserved for the great wives who give their husbands everything they need n want sexually. Don't you feel bad at all? Moneys one thing but what about the devastation you cause once your finished wiping what number 10 of the days jiz off ur face? What about the wife who is at home with a hot meal waiting for him and a blowjob to boot... On the dick that was just up ur ass? No guilt? No feelings of hey, I wouldn't want to be his wife and what would I do if I was... Again I don't know you personally and as you can probably tell am a writer also, which can I add it you are a fantastic writer.. It wasn't so much your stories that dragged me in but your writing. Anyway, I don't know you personally but what goes around comes around. Your going to fall in love, head over heels, your gonna settle down give up this horrible job you do have children and one day look at your husbands credit card and see a parlor on there. Maybe worse- catch him with a GF or a hooker. What then CJ? How will u feel CJ when u hav to explain to your crushed children that daddies not coming home bc he broke a promise to mommy and broke her heart. Just food for thought, I hope I did my best in not making this against you but more of a hey help me out with this. Help me understand. I'll look for a reply for I guess a little while, I hope I see one from you women to women. Thanks for your time and I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on my worst enemy. Maybe the next time you have some guys dick in your face in his wives bedroom, looking at his kids pictures you'll think of me and the broken families this leaves. :(
I have talked about this subject before and my thoughst on this have not changed. So let me state once again that I regard the use of my services by married men as cheating. Period. Even though what takes place in session is pretty much mechanical and does not include any emotions, it doesn't change the fact that vows have been broken.
So why do I see so many married men as clients? It's one of the ugly sides of the business, and perhaps the worst thing about it to me. And if I had my way, I wouldn't see any married customers at all. But fact of the matter is I can't screen them all out, and they make up most of my income. I'm not proud of it, and sometimes I'll tell the guys what I think. But it's bad for business and what I do is business. I like to think of it as the guy at the gas station that sells cigarettes. It's a dirty nasty habit that kills people, but he sells it anyway.
This is one of the reasons why I won't date a customer. It's hard to respect a guy who goes to someone like me for a handjob. If I discovered that Derek had been to an Asian massage parlor, I would consider that cheating on me and I'd probably dump him. Is that hypocritical of me? Maybe. I just know that the man I'm with isn't allowed to see other women - and that includes handjobs. Shit - I don't like it when Derek goes to a strip club with his friends.
So to you, the disrespected wife, I say that I do think of the wives and the families and the kids. And I feel bad about what your husband is doing. It's cheating and it's disrespectful. And I am fully aware that the price of each and every happy ending may include divorce if he's caught. But at the end of every day, it's not my marriage or vows that have been broken. And that's what I need to accept if I'm going to go to work every day. Am I a cheating enabler? Yes. I know and accept that. And yes it sucks and makes me feel like crap sometimes.
Now before you crucify me for being a lying, cheating harlot, how many of you out there are in sucky jobs doing things for people that you don't agree with? Does your store sell cigarettes or booze? Is your boss a thief? Does your company do shady shit? It all boils down to what do we need to do to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. And when I think about it, I don't think I've ever called myself a paragon of virtue or even a role model.
Anonymous said...
What would you say is the averaged size penis.
About 6 inches. Based on empirical evidence. A LOT of empirical evidence.
Anonymous said...
Look, I have no problem that you choose to be a prostitute for a living, however, I am a real massage therapist that HATES it when I have to jump through hoops to prove that I am not a prostitute because of how you market yourself (as a massage therapist instead of a prostitue). It should be completely separate verbage as to what you call your profession than trying to pull off a true massage therapist that is in this profession to heal people. You are the type that makes it really hard for us to gain a reputable name and living. Do us a favor and go get a porn license and stop marketing yourself as a massage therapist. I am having to go infront of a city counsel next week to prove I am a real therapist so I can open a wellness store. Thanks for making my profession so damn hard.
I'm not sure what your question is, but I believe me when I say I understand your sentiment. You think you have it tough. Try explaining to a customer that you'll jerk his dick, but you absolutely refuse to suck it. I blame those fucking whore houses for giving massage parlors a bad name.
Anonymous said...
HAY CJ I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU EVER THINK ABOUT YOUR DAD CHEATING ON YOUR MOM WITH SOME SKANKY HO LIKE URSELF. IS IT HARD TO LIE TO YOURSELF ABOUT NOT BEING A SELF CENTERED PIG HO OR IS IT MORE OF A MASOCHISTIC THING WHERE U THINK U DESERVE IT? ALSO CONGRATS ON FINDING YOUR TRUE USE IN SOCIETY-ACTING HOW YOUR PAID TO ACT SO I CAN JIZZ
No not really. They got divorced when I was baby, so I don't think about what he did or what he's up to now. But thank you for the question!
And I think that ends it for Q&A 6. This got way more intense that I thought it could.
CJ
89 comments:
Man. It's jumping into a hornet's nest, but there's a mass of evidence--both anthropological and anecdotal--that points to people not really being designed for monogamy anyway.
It's not a wife's failure to keep her spouse happy that leads him to stray, it's a desire for variety that no one woman could possibly fulfill.
CJ, i'd say really just ingore thoes who keep repeating the same negitive questions, and focus on thoes who honestly enjoy your stories and ask questions that you are comfortable answering. Your Q&A was great, and i hope you do another one once you get comfortable enough to tell us the story of leaving the business and how things are coming back up for you.
Keep going and good luck finding your own niche!
Size: I've seen several scientific surveys that say average length is just a bit over 6 inches, agreeing with your personal experience.
Choice: Not all marriages have the same rules about what is "cheating" and what is not. How could the massage person possibly filter out those for whom it would be cheating and those for whom it would not, or even be able to reliably filter out "married" from "not married." Is the massage person supposed to enforce general rules? I don't believe that. It's up to the person who is in the relation, the one who truly knows their rules and boundaries. As a personal side, I was married to a very sweet girl, but one who rarely met me with a prepared meal and never with a blow job. We had sex about five times a year. Our assumed rules would have made seeing a massage person for release "cheating". In fact, her personal feelings made fantasizing in the shower "cheating". Would I have been a bad person to see a massage-plus-release person? (I never did.) And how could that person have been able to know what my relationship rules were and how fair they were and how to enforce them?
You know, for someone who considers herself a writer, there sure were a lot of spelling errors.
And I assume the somewhat personal attacks were out of anger at the situation, not directly at you, CJ. Okay, now onto reading your response...
Wow, looootta anger. Man I want to think of a question. Oh ohoh okay badly formed question:
Do you have plans to take the next step in your career? As in, move to or up to another profession rather than stick with specifically a happy endingz-themed job? IE, work exclusively as a massage therapist using your talents at a no-sexy things massage studio would be "up," whereas something like landscaping would be work "to" something -- a move sideways in the pay scale. And hey, you use your arms a TON with that stuff so you'd keep your strength. :)
I'm in that part of my life where I've been thinking "okay what is my next step" and pretty much have a few avenues worked out, wondering if you're doing the same. Also I am glad you have your table to work with, now. Keep on keepin' on!
Big fan of your blog, I've never commented before but I'm curious. Do you consider what you do for a living "cheating " on Derek?
Dear CJ,
Thank you for responding. I want to be clear, there is alot of anger. I tried my best not to direct it onto you. I know it's the mans fault, not the provider. You can't realistically sort out the married men and truth be told they probably make up the larger portion of your income. I guess what I was looking for was is anyone in the massage room thinking about the poor Family this leaves behind broken. We know the man laying on the table isn't thinking of anyone but himself. Is the women with him even thinking or feeling for us... I know it probably doesn't make sense to alot of people and although this topic really got heated I needed to know for myself. In a sick and scary way there's a little bit of relief. I know it sounds stupid so forgive me everyone for spilling my personal feelings, anger, confusion, all feelings out there for everyone to judge. Thank you CJ for answering me, I don't agree w your work but I know your a girl like me. No different. Just another hard working girl making her way through life. Thank you.
Wife
If wives were truly taking care of their husbands' needs, there would be no business for these kinds of massage parlors. Period. End of discussion. When a man starts paying for what he expected to get at home, you should realize that he's pretty desperate. You cannot base your perception of his needs upon yours. Ask yourself when was the last time a man needed a tampon or to watch a chick flick. If a man cannot tell you his needs, perhaps it's because you cause a huge scene whenever he mentions something he wants that you don't like, and men hate drama.
Anon #4: How can a wife at home provide variety? How can she provide another body type? How can she provide the thrill of possibly getting caught, which some men crave? How can she make him feel young, like he's in his college days again and screwing someone different each day?
Also, some of us guys enjoy a chick flick every so often, although I can't claim to have ever needed a tampon. All that said, your basically saying that no matter what its always the wife's fault, which is bullshit. The man still makes his choices, and he is choosing to cheat.
Here we go again, it's your type of attitude that gave me the balls to post. If you had read all my posts you would of seen my hub is very well taken care of. In everyway possible- literally. I'm not going to give all the graphic details again but I can assure you there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him in the bedroom! As far as your bottom line comment, ill tell you what the bottom line is and that's cheating is cheating. All you men out there that use your wives as excuses are just pathetic. Now I'm sure there are situations out there that leave some men feeling desperate as you put it but take some responsibility for crying out
loud. If you're gonna be a lying cheating bastard-own it. Don't use your wife as a scapegoat.
That's what drives me nuts with some of the commentors. So what do u think now? I'm a wife who takes her husbands thoughts and needs to heart and I take the sexual aspect of a relationship very seriously. What he
needs I give him- that's the truth of the matter. I don't send him running for the hills with " drama" you spoke of. We talk as adults and I really make it a priority to have a satisfied husband in everyway. Now let me beat you to the punch and day I'm not assuming any of this when I speak for my husband. These are all Things he says and are both proud of. He loves me our sex life and even tells his friends I'm like a porn star! Does that sound like an unhappy or sexually starved man? NO didn't think so!
Every women who has replied to me agrees- it's not the wives fault. Even CJ said it the worst part of her job. CJ is obviously a very intelligent women. This is her forum to answer honestly and I believe she does just that. I personally think, maybe instead of it being ok to Blame the wife maybe in actuality it's the man who is so gross and so suckish in bed his wife doesn't want nothing to do with him.
I think CJ is saying while releasing a client, wow this guy is disgusting. He comes in 30 seconds and probably is a terrible fuck. No wonder his wife doesn't wanna sleep with him and he has to pay for a women to act like she likes him! Lol! Is this your situation mean anon man? Lol. Bet it is!
Let me be clear For you sweetie, im a traditional women at home and To sum it all Up, ill Say im a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and whore in the bedroom! I watch football with him, i Let Him sleep late on weekends, i massage Him every saturday, i dress up in costumes for fun with Him, i blow him when he walks in the door, so im a pretty cool wife... This man whos told me how great i am to him Had no reason to Go to parlors! I'm rambling now.. But so were clear your generalizations are way off in our case, what say you now? But thanks again to CJ for shedding some light!
Wife
Anon Wife,
I've read all of your posts. I can certainly understand the frustration and anger and even though you say you're not "high and mighty" -- that frustration and anger is causing to "sound" high and mighty.
The topic of monogamy is a highly debatable one - monogamy in nature is quite rare. Perhaps an inherent or physiological trait that we humans have.
One may have the most beautiful wife and perfect wife/husband and they would still stray regardless of erotic masseues, prostitute, etc...
Perhaps it's like asking Bill Gates - excuse me sir, you're a billionaire and beyond rich -- why do you need more money?
Perhaps lack of variety (sure you said you dress up, role play, etc... but in the end, it's still you)
Horrible example but comparing this to a burger, you can have the burger 100x different ways but if you're craving for a steak....
Not really an answer to your "issues" but your husband's situation may just be beyond your control regardless of what you are willing to do.
"Every women who has replied to me agrees- it's not the wives fault."
Of course, if you ask women, it's never their fault, is it?
Clearly, it's simple logic. He's not getting his needs met, no matter what you think his needs should be. If he was, he wouldn't go out and pay for it. Paying for it is an act of desperation, as there are many women who prefer married men in the hopes of stealing them away.
A writer would be able to distinguish between "woman" and "women", use proper conjunction among other things.
"Let me be clear For you sweetie, im a traditional women at home and To sum it all Up, ill Say im a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and whore in the bedroom! I watch football with him, i Let Him sleep late on weekends, i massage Him every saturday, i dress up in costumes for fun with Him, i blow him when he walks in the door, so im a pretty cool wife."
And I'm a 6'4" billionaire with a muscular physique. Boy, it sure is easy to talk on the internet, isn't it?
Let me be clear for you, sweetie. Whatever you're *actually* doing for him, it ain't enough, no matter how much *you* think it should satisfy him. It's simple logic. Maybe if you actually did some things on that list, he wouldn't be hunting around for people like CJ.
Hi guys!
I can see this is turning into a bashing session and let's make this chick feel worse about herself even more. So I'll respond then I'm gonna step away. CK responded which is what I wanted but I can see that the men are now wanting to attack me.
Anon#1. Thank you for being a gentleman and not resorting to beat the woman down. I am the farthest thing from high and mighty. I can see how my words may have come off that way. To be clear, I don't think CJ is some terrible home- wrecking lady. I can see how my oe. post may have had a bite to it but at that point my thoughts were blurred by her story of the man In his wife's bedroom with the kids pictures around. Tnrew me for a loop. I understand her services are in demand. Shes probably a nice girl. That being said, I also understand her services are in demand by married men. Married men that have different situations. I posted earlier,There are many sexless marriage out there. So Im not judging the men that utilize these services. My comments were directed at the men that take 0 responsibility. Its our duty as a spouse to make our partners life's happy and healthy however we can.This brings to mind a phrase I heard long time ago, look at the most beautiful woman in the room and on her arm is a man tired of fucking her.Again I didn't mean to come off holier than thou. Thank you for being a gentleman too, your honest but no hurtful.
Anon#2. I should of said men and women have agreed. Because it has been both genders. To blame the women without knowing the specific situation is wrong. There are
plenty of good women out there who didn't deserve to be cheated on. Plenty of women out there who have done everything they can to make the husband feel like king of the castle. To just put a blanket statement out there that a cheating husband is lacking is wrong. There are women out there that worship the ground the husband walks on. I don't know it just seems wrong to cover these ladies in that category.
Anon #3. I am a writer. I write for one of the most popular magazines in the country. Our sales exceed that of the NY times and Washington Post. What happens is you write a
story and it goes to your assistant to fix all errors before being read by "proofers". So you get in the habit of ignoring your typos. I can assure you I've been writing for many Years and make over 6 figures doing so. It also doesn't help when you are using a smart phone to do all this writing. Lol!
Anon#4. Wow, I came to this site after some research. I used it as an outlet for my questions. I can assure you while being anonymous I have no reason to lie about anything. Every single detail I have talked about is the truth. So imagine my surprise when my life was turned upside down. If you think about your comment your basically saying if all that's true them your husband would have no reason to go elsewhere. And that's where I am right now. Confused because I AM that wife I spoke about. Hurt because I AM that lady that has spent my days making sure my husband could never say, u didn't do this or didn't do that. I AM all those things I said, so my hurt is justified. Hard to believe for you? Ask yourself this why would I come asking for direction, others thoughts and not
be completely real about the situation. Any thoughts of others I received would be useless and this would od been a huge waste of time. I am who I've said I am.
So that's all for me guys, I'm going to depart before someone really try's to kick a girl while she's down. CJ if you read this one, one last thank you to you too. This experience was helpful. I wish you well and I hope you're where you want to be jn life. If you are then nothing else matters- not even us wives!! Good luck with your self employed dreams.
Wife
I was in an open relationship for 8 years...it was actually my first relationship ever, so I'm very cool with the ideas of free love or polyamory or whatever you want to call it.
People cheat because they like variety. It has very little to do with how often their partners meet their ''needs'' or not.
To find out more about having the kinds of discussions with your partner that can lead to not having the kind of relationship that can fall apart at the mere hint of ''cheating'' there are a million resources on the internet. There are some great podcasts like, Swingercast, Life on the Swingset, or my personal favorite SEX IS FUN.
I totally believe that you can be completely satisfied with your significant other and still want to be sexual with other people. It doesn't have to take away from the primary relationship.
But CJ's blog isn't about the polyamourous lifestyle and I'm thinking that's where a lot of these ''Anons'' should go.
BTW, can you Anon's just pick a name already?????? It's the internet, make something up! It's too hard to tell who's talking to who in these comment sections when everyone has the same name. There's a simple button to push below the comment section where you can make up a Name.
My question is a little less volatile lol. Just wondering if you ever have female clients and how is that / or would that be different. Btw kudos to you for handling the Q & A so well.
I like the way you don't take some of these hurtful comments personally. I think everyone could learn from that.
CJ,
I think that you (and others who have made the comparison) are unfair. There is no similarity between you and the sellers of cigarettes. Not all of your customers are married men. At least some are lonely men in need of some physical contact and comfort. Most married men cause no injury to anyone, if they are not caught. You enable them to avoid the risk of stds, if they went to a different type of establishment to seek variety, and the risk of emotional entanglement, should they have an affair.
Sellers of cigarettes, on the other hand, do only harm.
CJ. As always, a great post. You are a great blogger and I love the topic and how you write.
I feel so sorry for all of those who base their marriage on the sex. Truth be told, the real reason that these people are upset that their husbands go to massage parlors like yours is not because of the sex, but because of the deception behind it. The wives are kept in the dark. In a marriage, this is wrong.
I am married, but I have come to grow to understand that I do not believe in the institute of marriage. Marriage, in and of itself is a lie.
Vows are taken and at the very least are broken the second one lusts after a person of the opposite sex or the same sex in their mind. Marriage (as stated by the words used in the ceremony) means that the most you should THINK about another is in a completely platonic...non sexual manner.
What you do is provide a service. You deliver a fantasy. This is what your clients are paying for. The wives can not deliver this fantasy to their husbands because they are not associated with that business. If I were to go to you two things would be in place.
First, my wife would know that I am going. Secondly, my wife would be familiar with your services and why I have a desire to go. I am not lying to her. I am up front. If there is an issue, we speak about it then. And the important part is that I completely assure her time and time again that what we have is so much more than sex.
I feel bad for others who do not have the relationship I have....
Here is a thought maybe a man strays because his wife is more concerned with the children than him. Maybe there has been no effort at connection by either person in a relationship. Maybe getting a hand job by a masseuse allows him to escape for an hour a week. Maybe everyone should walk a mike in each others shoes before calling someone a ho or worse. CJ you need not make any excuses for what you do for a living. As a man who partook of sensual massage in my younger days and if given an opportunity would do so again now there is nothing wrong with feeling the touch of another's hands and finding release.
The plain, unvarnished truth, is that men cheat. Married men. Dating men. Engaged men. Single men. Divorced men. All flavors of men cheat.
Why? It is genetics. Having more than one mate is good for the gene pool as far as the man is concerned. He gets to spread his seed further if he has more than one place to leave it.
Men cheat because to them it is not cheating to get a hand job or blow job or even a one-night stand. Men cheat because there are typically few consequences. Men cheat because the attention they get from the other woman or hang job staff bloats their egos. Men cheat.
And women should cheat also, if for no other reason that to teach men a lesson that is quite painful and difficult.
It has nothing to do with what the wife is doing for him in a sexual way. It is genetic and he is only answering the call of nature when he dips his dick into a foreign well. That does not make him a hero or a man to be admired, but he knows that men cheat because he does and all of his friends do.
One solution is to cut his dick off the first time he does it, and then divorce him. Let's see how many new women he gets with only a stump of a dick.
End of discussion, leave the wife alone.
This notion of morality and legality is really quite pedestrian. As a culture we are WAY to uptight (U.S. Specifically). I really do not see this as cheating, as that would mean an emotional connection which obviously does not exist. The only one wrecking families with small children are the parents who cannot come to terms with the reality of the human condition. Men are hardwired for this, if his heart is still in his marriage why not work it out? Why drag the kids along because Mom can't reason that he actually chose a pretty safe path to satisfy this desire for variety? He didn't have unprotected sex with a hooker, or a woman he met in a bar (that we know of). By most peoples reasoning so far the male is the bad guy because he had the orgasm, CJ is off the hook because she is the mechanical provider. How many women participate in the act of sex and do not climax? Millions. Does that mean they did not "have sex"? Hmmm, I think not. CJ, I love your work and I am a huge fan of your writing AND your day job. I believe making love and the mechanics of sex are two entirely different things and based on that reasoning you are not cheating on Derek. If you fell for one of your clients, and did not end things with Derek, that would be cheating. At some point we need to realize that MEN and WOMEN are different creatures with different goals and operating conditions. You cannot judge one as you do the other, an element of understanding is required. What do you suppose the ratio of Male happy ending massuses to Female ones? 1000 to 1, A Million to 1? Why? Because we are wired differently.
Joker_SATX, I really liked your post. Thumbs up!
Well aside from the ploygamy monogomy thing .. I have a gf who i feel provides everything i want .. And i know i love her so much i will make sure she never finds out about my extracurricular activities, but i realized it isnt the fact that im needing something missing that motivates me its the thrill of the "hunt"... The excitement of waiting at the door of a shady building not knowing whats awaiting to happen next.. Then when its done .. I swear to my self neva again!!
I guess you can put this as reasons why men do what they do ..
Oh.. And i believe this "thrill" is an addiction .. I think all of us men should write down the last time we had a session as something new and fun :D mine is 3 weeks 2 days .. I swear Neva again!
This blog is hilarious! Giving handjobs is NOT cheating, but Derek receiving handjobs IS cheating. Lol.
@apidi word verification:
As long as we get to punish cheating women in a similar way. It's only fair, right? Or do you think cheating women are somehow justified but men are not?
CJ,
Your blog is great. Haters are always gonna hate. I actually started writing a blog because you've inspired for me to be honest about my life... At least secretly online. Thanks for being such an inspiration
CJ- you should call yourself BJ because you know you're doing more than HJ... Be proud of the whore you are. We all make choices and your choice is to service us guys with your vast aray of release choices. Do you really think having some guy cum in your face or the butt releases are really any different than sex? Let's break this down, when a guy cums the act to get him there is a form of sex. Isn't that what we teach in sex Ed in junior schools? HJ, bj, all that CJ is sex. Your stories are interesting but they're just stories. Please don't insult our Intelligence and ask us to believe your a hooker with values. You're in that work because you hav no self worth and your values are shit. how would you feel if your daughter did this? ( when you hav one) would it be ok? And you are funny, it's not ok for your SO to partake in the services offered by another woman but you can do everything you do. You should tuen your life around because what goes around comes around. You should quit before the tables turn. iv been doing this a long time and I hav NEVER met a masseuse I couldn't get what I wanted from, as long as the bulge in my pocket wasn't just me..
And for all you other guys out there, downing the wife who visited- you should gwt real. We all know if were honest us visiting parlors has nothing to do with what our SO's do or don't do. Get real guys. Alot of us have great women by outsides and pray they don't find out about what we do. There is no reason we cheat. That's the truth.
To the wife, I feel very and for you. From what you've written you sound like a wonderful women, who took care Of her mans every need and desire. Sometimes bad things just happen in life kiddo, you got the short end of the stick. So don't listen to these fools about what u haven't or shoulda done. It's simply not the case. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. good luck to you ok- honey.
CJ
what's your exit strategy?
Do you want to marry and have kids and be a housewife?
Do you want to go to college?
Do you want to do art?
Do you want to save money and buy a business?
Do you not have a plan?
I am the other wife from many posts ago that initially asked questions, I don't think the Anon wife that everyone has been communicating with will read this, sounds like she checked out, but I totally understand your pain, I am living the pain now, my husband confessed to years and years of massage parlor visits, I was not quite so attentive as you but attentive enough, we've had a great marriage and great kids, we are trying to stay married but my pain from the lies, deceptions and double life may be more then I can handle-I am not sure if I will be able to stay. He is going to a sex addiction counselor and we are both attending support groups. There are not words for the intense pain this causes-to all the men doing this married or single, you really should address the real issue in your life as to why you seek this out-insecurity, abuse, unworthy, scared to succeed--I don't know it's different for each man. It does hurt families, children, society, and it hurts you too-you might not notice it at first but it damages your soul. The images of what happens in those rooms is so painful and so damaging to a woman's soul and heart. I feel disposable. We have all been deceived by Satan's lies that it's okay or doesn't hurt anyone. He is the master of deception. Sex workers don't sacrifice, share their heart, share meals, experience the birth of a baby together, put up the Christmas tree, or walk on the beach together-I don't care if it's a HJ, BJ or full service-it's immoral, dishonest, degrading, hurtful and leaves a path of destruction. I am going to read a few more responses and then I am also going to check out because this blog just brings me down into the filth.
My thoughts on the cheating husband conversation.
I think it's a mistake to think it's all about sex. I think we often have to look deeper into the relationship to find the real root causes of why people desire sex outside of their marriage. In a good marriage the husband and wife have an emotional attachment to each other that goes beyond simple sexual desires. This emotional attachment fuels the sexual desires and makes sex so much sweeter. That's why it's called "making love."
In many marriages "including mine" that emotional attachment gets lost and instead there is a distance and a wall in the relationship where before there was attachment and "oneness" so to speak.
I married a girl that unknown to me at the time has emotional issues including some bi-polar. For the first five years or so of our marriage I was emotionally attached to her and that made the hurts I experienced so much more intense. I experienced the brunt of her unreasoning rages, cursing me, uncontrollable spending, lying is a way of life for her. Gradually that emotional attachment I had for her died out and I became more distant. I could never share my feelings with her because she doesn't understand my needs and gets angry anytime we try to work through something. I've found for the sake of peace and sanity to just disconnect from her and let her live her life as she pleases. She refuses to consider counseling and I don't think she has any idea how deeply discouraged I am. Basically if she gets left alone to do whatever she wants she thinks things are going fine. She has often threatened to leave me and has frequently told me if she'd catch me cheating she would never forgive.
We've been married 14 years now and have 4 kids and that's why I'm determined to sacrifice my life and happiness to give my kids as good a life as possible as they're growing up. I feel nothing but hurts and disappointments as I look at her. I have never "cheated" on her and she has never cheated on me as far as I know BUT in my opinion she has done many things and proved her unfaithfulness to me in ways just as bad sex. In fact I am so emotionally separated from her I don't think it would even bother me if she would "cheat" on me.
Now with all that said if I would have an affair or go to a massage parlor I would be branded the "bad guy" by everyone when in fact I think my wife has betrayed me in so many ways just as hurtful and bad. The emotional distance between us has caused me to be tempted much more to do something like that. I think it's possible that the "innocent" wives that posted here have to look beyond sex and ask themselves, have I done things to my husband that has allowed that emotional separation to happen that has made it easier for him to be tempted????
In a good marriage that temptation to cheat is low but the more issues develop the higher the likelihood. For me there are no feelings left, only raw commitment, mostly for the kids sake. Can I hang in there?? I don't know. Taking it a day at a time....
Oh..and sex... about twice a month.
If I'd go to a massage parlor it's all my fault??? All I can say is based on my experience in marriage I'm not going to be hasty to condemn a man that does it.
CJ- you are nothing but a prostitute. I'm sure you know this much. And for all the people reading these posts and commenting that there are "haters", shame on all of you too. Your attitudes are horrible. The "haters" are people with ethics, morals and are law abiding citizens that don't agree with prostitution. End of story. CJ- you should be ashamed of yourself and I'm sure your mother would be very proud.
Do you suppose there is a connection between the angry finger pointing posts from the "Moral Minority" idiots and their unwillingness to put a name to their useless drivel? Or is it a fundamental lack of intelligence that precludes the ability to create one?
I wonder....
Here's a Tip: Stop inflicting your version of morality on the rest of the human race.
Big willy is a name? It's an anon name. Were all still anon here. Touching too close to home for ya big willy?
CJ, I am female, not lesbian, maybe bi curious. Sometimes I am so horny that I consider stopping in to a massage parlour. Do you ever have women clients? do you ask the same questions about "options" when you do have a woman in the room? Could I bring my vibrator and ask her to "assist me"? Please blog on this if you have information! Thanks.
Hey guys!
How about them Eagles?
CJ
CJ, you are a hypocrite if you feel this way about your clients and your boyfriend if he chooses to get a HJ. There is no need to be defensive about what you do. Men like variety. It is not a perversion. I am not married. But I understand why men want this variety. Is serial monogamy better than a guy who likes to remain in a long term relationship with a few isolated detours into a safe massage place that probably keeps his marriage fresh for him? Isn't that preferable to a full blown affair where the guy's attention is diverted to another family unit of sorts? People who wax so much about staying committed are the same people who dont mind quitting on a relationship and then hoppinhg to another one and then another, but as long as they are monogomous in each one, I guess they can justify that as better evne if it means a trail of broken families. If my wife wants to get a release from a massage therapist, as long as she doesn't nag me, she considers me #1 in her relationship, and she is discrete about it , and hides it well enough from me, I won't go looking for evidence. Not every marriage has to have the couple share every single thing.
As far as the massage therapist complaining about CJ making it tough for her to do her job? Give me a break. It doesn't have to be either extreme - porn experience or therepeutic. Some of us like that happy medium where you get a real massage and then the woman's touch leads to a happy ending. It is only natural when you feel a woman's hands over a lot of your body parts. Some of us dont go looking just for a street ho doing a hand job. We actually do like the massage part.
CJ,
Thanks again for another great blog! Please keep them coming.
I'm truly amazed at all the emotion this blog evoked!!! I agree with the last writer. What's the big deal? It's only a massage and a hand release...
Dear CJ:
Please keep in mind that people who post and comment anonymously do so for a reason: they don't have the balls (literally or figuratively) to say what they have to say under their own names. And their comments should be treated accordingly.
Tom
Tom Moran- I think your name says it all... It's the Internet and a site about prostitution. Why would anyone in their right mind use their right name? Tom Moran! Lol. Too funny!! Lmao!!
So, if CJ's boyfriend goes to a massage parlor, then he's cheating.
OK.
But...if CJ found out her boyfriend WORKED at a massage parlor in secret...? Would that be considered cheating?
Do you offer your options to everyone? If not, what is your criteria? i.e. can someone look too conservative, or shy or physically repulsive that you'd rather not make more money than to offer your extra services?
Hi CJ,
I have to say, your blog is the most interesting thing I'm following now. I lreally ike your style and the fact that you're so open hearted. That does not mean that I always agree with you. Especially your views on marriage and your opinion that your SO would be dumped if he would visited one of your colleques. It would be great i you could elaborate about that.
And I have a question for all the 'haters': Why are you here?
I can understand (a little) why the scorned wives come here to ventilate their frustrations, but men calling CJ all kinds of things? Is that a perversion of some sorts? Do you stalk sites and girls like these, just to get off?
I think it's pretty creepy.
CJ doesn't even use her own name. "she" could be a man living with his mother and cats for all we know! Tom Moran is that your real name- if so, so sorry.
Anonymous
FIRST OFF,I do have question at the end of this diatribe.
Second...So many self righteous paragons of virtue,so butt-hurt that this woman provides a service that facilitates a necessary bodily function.That's all that busting a nut is,just another bodily function.The married men who comprise this "CJ"'s clientele don't LOVE her,and she doesn't love them.She has her own man.They have their own woman.But they just need to blow a load with someone different once in a while.THAT IS IT.Then jilted wives come on here and bitch that their husband DARED to cum in the presence of someone other than THEM.Big fuckin deal,old hag.As our infrastructure crumbles,our children become as massive as neutron stars and as dumb as sheep,and the world looks with increasing disdain and disgust on America,you all bitch and moan because someone EXCHANGED MONEY FOR A SEX ACT.Get real,losers.
QUESTION:Have you ever done a foot release,and was it weird?I like getting them,don't know why.Thanks!
people here aren't acting "righteous," just merely pointing out the flaws in CJ's posts.
"she" claims she has a moral code of what she will or wont do, but would dump her boyfriend for getting the same thing.
also, all the things shes said about married men and blah blah blah... she takes their money and it goes towards her truck. she's always broke and will always be broke.
lastly, there will never be a tv show about her. never. she isnt that interesting and there are already shows on tv regarding prostitution Hung and the Secret Life of a Call Girl. why would anyone watch a show about handjobs?
I agree, she's not that interesting. Most of the people here are parlor mongers wacking off to her stories on off days. Shell never be anything but a prostitute. Well be reading storied of a 50 year old hooker years from now! Lol.
The truth of the matter is yes some married men visit these parlor girls. But these wives need to remember that these girls are good enough to rub one off for them. BUT they're not good enough to marry- like the wives. Myself along with my Friends that visit, when we talk about or brag about our trips.. Were talking about the whore at the parlor. When we talk about our wives, we talk about the woman we chose to marry. The woman that was so special we chose to spend the rest of our lives with. These girls are nothing and will mvwr be worth anything to us guys but a Hand job.
So remember that wives, they are the girls worth a couple dollars but not the marrying type.
Haveny you wondered why CJ a self proclaimed package Of small body, big boobs is so single into her 30's. Men can tell, she's not the type of girl to marry. And her patented double fisted crisscross- CJ it isn't that special. And many women use this technique. Did you really think this move is yours? Delusional much?
Hope the wives understand I little better.
If CJ's writing is not interesting, then why are you reading it?
Certainly CJ has problems in her life. People who feel the need to attack and condemn her on her own blog display a need to insult and cause pain gratuitously. This points to bigger issues in your own life. Perhaps it would be more productive if you were to examine your own life rather than spout vituperation.
Socarates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." It should be apparent that he meant one's own life, rather than examining and living vicariously through another. CJ is attempting to examine her own life. Whatever faults she has, this is a lesson that you critics could learn from.
Mike
i find the fact people look up to cj interesting.
if someone's significant other was giving hjs and getting finger-banged, they'd be singing a diff tune.
I have no idea if you truly are an erotic masseuse or simply playing one on the internet - you never know these days. What I do know is that you can definitely write. I am sure you are familiar with Diablo Cody. You very much remind me of her. She started much like you, forced to strip to make ends meet. You have a computer, start writing a book. Your clients would make fabulous characters. The struggle to keep your secret combined with your internal struggle to justify your job would make some seriously good reading. If you could some how show your willingness and need to earn a living and the lengths you have gone to do just that, and maybe compare it to those wall street losers and their refusal to even try because life is too hard for them, you could make serious money. Anyway, I dont have a question. I just want you to write more.
Will everyone please stop telling her she's this great writer. She can put together a few sentences that sound good. I copied a few of her posts n copied onto a regular word document, then ran a check on spelling etc. But wjat it said at the bottom is the story was equivalent to a tenth grade kinkaid level. Hardly a noble prize. Guys and gals her writing is normal of a high school student- not even a senior for that matter! Lol. let's not fill this poor girl with anymore false hopes, she already believes she not a sex worker because she doesn't have intercourse- she neglects to realize that HJ's in the various forms she offers is... Are you all ready, SEX. CJ lives in her own fantasy world that doesn't allow us to view ourselves as we truly are- therefor her reality is not the true reality. Thank you for your time and CJ stick to hand jobs. I'm sure you are very gifted at them. Hey be proud, that's what you have to offer the world.
Heeeeeeeeeey CJ,
With how awful some of the comments have been over the last few blog posts, maybe think about turning the comment section off for a long while. It would help to get rid of the trolls that have found their way to your blog that do nothing but bash you, your values and your lifestyle.
As a long time reader I miss the discussion that used to take place in the comments. These days it's turned into nothing but people complaining, fighting, and just plain being mean for no reason. They're like middle school kids who have to put others down to make themselves feel better.
Keep the head held high and try to ignore the trolls.
Legal Dictionary
Main Entry: pros·ti·tute
Pronunciation: 'präs-t&-"tüt, -"tyüt
Function: noun
: a person who engages in sexual activity indiscriminately esp. for money
Dear CJ,
I am continually amazed how you much are denial about what you do and exactly what you are.
A Prostitute is defined in the Legal Dictionary as "a person who engages in sexual activity indiscriminately esp. for money ". Yet you continue to deny that you ARE A PROSTITUTE.
You jack off men for money. You let guys cum in your face, on your tits, between your thighs, basically all over you, for money. You go home to your boyfriend with a client's cum in your hair. You lie to your boyfriend about what you do for a living. And yet you are not a prostitute, just because you do not allow your clients to touch or penetrate your mouth, ass, or pussy. Oh, scratch that. You just let a "client" finger fuck you.
You are nuts. You basically do everything except suck and fuck, and yet you continually deny that you are a prostitute.
You, my dear CJ, are either in a serious case of denial regarding what you do for a living, or a 60-year old hausfrau making the whole thing up to live out your sick fantasies. I can't decide which is the case, but in either case, what you do makes you a prostitute, plain and simple.
I would have more respect for you if you just admitted it, instead of this continual denial. Get over yourself, admit it, and get paid for it.
Otherwise, keep going the way you are going. One of these days, one of your trusted "clients" is not going to put up with your bullshit any longer, and just take what your claim you aren't willing to sell. Maybe he will have a few friends come in to violate you in every orrifice as well. Probably slit your throat afterwards to shut you up.
At least then, we will find out your real name when they identify your rotting, bloated corpse fished out of the Delaware.
Correct to everyone who said she's not a good writer. If she was any good, she'd be able to write about something other than jerking guys off.
She gives graphic details of getting cum on her face which gets the readers excited. If you watch porn, you'll get similar excitement, it doesn't qualify the woman getting banged as a good actress.
its Shallbe....love your blog...you shouldnt really treat the comments section with such respect...do what you will and write what you feel..
CJ,
I hope you will let the comments of the Anonymous poster at 6:42 roll off and not take any of that to heart. Whatever you do, whatever you have done, you are entitled to decency and your boundaries are worthy of respect, wherever you set them. This would be true if you were full service as well. A lot of girls in the industry start to feel like they are not worth respecting, and I logged on to tell you that you most certainly are.
If you will indulge me in some unsolicited advice - I have read most of your blog, and I have read a number of stories where a customer has waved $$$ in front of you and you have agreed to extras that you had previously declined. I would stop this practice. First, while your typical massage/happy ending is of arguable legality (mostly due to proof issues), negotiating extras for cash and then providing them certainly runs afoul of solicitation/prostitution laws, which are generally written very broadly to encompass all kinds of physical gratification. Second, I think it communicates that your boundaries are not serious, which judging from your response to the fingering episode, is far from the truth. You may think that you are the one in control when there is a naked man offering you whatever cash you need in order to gratify his desires, but he is the one exploiting and degrading you. Your comfort is worth more than that. You are worth more than that.
CJ
I think it is very brave, responsible, and of great value to society that you have created this blog on this subject. It perplexs many spouses that feel victimized by sexual expoits that happen in parlors. I know this caused you great personal risk and stress, so thank you for sharing. Regardless of of the hate post that I am sure are causing you great amounts of stress, you have given everyone the insight to understand why singles and spouses use these parlors. You are brave because you faced your angry critics and told truth. I respect you for your candid blog. I hope that the angry people out see that you have only helped them tosee the truth. There personal morals and beliefs do not matter in the long run to anyone but them only yours do. And you have equal right to have your view without the judgement of other equals. (Which everyone that is not a deity so none of these haters) Regardless of what profession you do now or ever, stay strong and keep communicating honest and raw like this. It is valuable and refreshing.
Eagles Rock!!!
CJ,
you are brave... for taking a shot of cum to the face.
is there a paypal we can set up for you so you can spend your money on cigarettes and your truck?
my boyfriend has 7,8 inches.
Well CJ,
I have read the comments (again) and I would strongly advise you to close the comments section for a while. I am familiar with internet stalking and some of the anonymous cowards seem te be very disturbed.
You do not have to feed them, you are in no way responsible for them.
You are great. I don't know why you want to punish yourself with these lame comments from frustrated strangers. You don't need that and you don't deserve that. Just focus om being happy.
Have you seen your stats btw? Almost 4000 people per day! You should get yourself your own domain and make some money out of it! Your future lies on the internet.
"You are great. I don't know why you want to punish yourself with these lame comments from frustrated strangers."
or punish yourself with guys cumming on your face!
seriously, what makes her great? i'm beginning to think people have lowered their standards for what defines being impressed these days.
Me too, I don't get it- o, CJ your such a great writer, your such a great person, you deserve better than these hate comments. Ummmm. No no She doesn't. Are you guys in love with her? She's a hooker plain and simple. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. CJ is and the people that read blogs. If you don't like it your in the wrong business. Please don't encourage her to run and close the comments section - for what? because some people have expressed their opinions? It's not all love and flowers for CJ. Grow up guys and CJ buck up, your in a business that requires you to have a tough skin.
^
u mad bro
People may be entitled to their opinions but there is a difference between expressing an opinion or offering criticism, and heaping vitriol. Whether or not CJ is a prostitute is irrelevant to the question of whether she deserves the latter (she doesn't). So is whether or not she is a good writer. If you feel like you are entitled to treat people like trash because of the decisions they make then I feel sorry for you.
Uh, yeah I do believe I can form an opinion on someone when they so blatantly talk about the in and outs of prostitution. She openly discusses and disrespects the families and wives of these men.
Bottom line is, if your a hooker, your a hooker. I can think of you as a hooker- Which is beneath the mainstream class of people. People pay hookers- yes but noone thinks very highly of them. Be honest fellas.
A duck is a duck, we don't not call it a duck bc it may hurt it's feelings. We don't say, o your a swan. No your a fucking duck!!
I get the interest in her blog. Different people have different purposes here but why are you all defending her and codling her like a baby. CJ allow she can't bring herself to say it, knows what she is. All I'm wondering is why their so many knights on this site?
^
[x] mad
Late coming into this (very long) conversation, but...
There are 'knights' here because many followers are very fond of CJ - and people usually protect those they like. I'll admit that fondness is a bit odd - many of us probably wouldn't like her if she worked in a jack-shack in our own neighborhoods.
It doesn't help that some are so deliberately mean to her. It's one thing to make your point and move on... it's quite another to hammer CJ (and others) with criticism after criticism - they're not going to change CJ's opinions or lifestyle, so they're either stupid or they're assholes. Not much of a choice :/
And to those that think men won't stray if their wives satisfy them - well that's just ignorant. I've seen this firsthand on several occasions, so I know it's false. Imagine you're a man inclined to cheat, but your wife IS giving you everything you want... isn't it still better to get it from two women if you can get away with it? Remember, you're already willing to cheat on her.
To be fair... yes, some wives don't try to satisfy their husband's physical or emotional needs. But cheating only makes the husband wrong ALSO. Two wrongs don't make a right.
No matter how perfect or imperfect a wife may be, men cheat because they want to. Excuses don't change that fact.
OK, ending my rant. Later.
AS an ex wife, and a mother that was cheated on heres my thought.
Fuck you all and your self righteousness. Be mad at your husbands and boyfriends. I am a gorgeous 38 MILF and I guarantee you if your husband or boyfriend wants to date me, see me, sleep with me or spend money on me Im going to let them.
I am just an insurance agent but I get a LOT of attention. If your man is interested in something on the side its cause
1) hes a total cock and you're better without him
2) You are focusing more on the kids and aren't catering to his needs as much as he thinks you should
3) you're a naggy bitch that just won't let him be
or 4) You have let yourself go in your complacent mom jeans and walmart chic fatband shirts which you might think makes you look good but you've just "let yourself go"
But when I meet your guy, and my married radar goes off, I'm still gonna date him when he asks. I'm still gonna fuck him to see if it's a good fuck.
Thats on him. Not me. Not my job or my moral responsibility to babysit your mans morals and values.
"Me too, I don't get it- o, CJ your such a great writer, your such a great person, you deserve better than these hate comments. Ummmm. No no She doesn't."
Ok
You do not like her wrting and you do not like her lifestyle.
What are you doing here?
Do you derive pleasure from abusing people?
This is exactly what I am talking about. You sir/ ma'm are a stalker. You are drwan to the succes of this blog and you want to shove your opinions violently down our throats. You do not belong here, or anywhere on the internet. You have issues. And that goes for a lot of people here. Get a life, move on. But you obviously can't so CJ: pull the plug out of the comment section.
"There is *maybe* that rare couple out there that makes it.:
:-)
I've been called a knight in this thread and now I'm also rare.
:-)
This must be my lucky day. But yes, I/we am/are monogamous for twenty-plus years now. It just happened (or some things just didn't happen).
My office is next door to a parlor where people like CJ work. They aren't that gifted in writing though. But I know what it is and I have never been interested in using their services.
:-)
I wholeheartedly agree with Ms.Inconspicuous! You ladies need to get your undies out of your crack and just realize that it isn't about YOU! Your guy needs more than just you and there is nothing wrong with that!
I love the Blog, CJ. You crack me up. This is just real life. If people don't like what you do for a living and find it offensive, then they shouldn't read your Blog. They should find something else to do with their time other than post bitchy comments on a blog that they find offensive and don't agree with.
CJ I hope your well. Despite the vile, vitriol thrown at you. Ms.I, we don't need to go all Margaret Meade on CJ. It doesn't matter. Yes their is a biological drive, but not a motive or cause for mis-behavior.
The plaintiff, Anon, knows that her husband strayed. He had another woman touch his penis, bring him to arousal, dare I say climax, and as a loving giving woman, and wife, she's hurt and feels blindsided and revolted.
Ok I get it. I'm married 23 years, almost 24, I offer that as evidence, only because you shouldn't dabble in marriage, unless.. your married. For that long, or that hard.
I've never strayed. From my wife. ever. You can take that statement, and question it, do what ever the hell you want, but it's true.
I'm a guy. I know guy's, guy's do dopey things.
I never had the urge to go to a masseuse. I'd feel uncomfortable doing it. I wouldn't have expectations even if I did, but it's not my cup of tea.
I've also never been to a hooker, solicited one, but I've had impure thoughts. But not about hookers.
My point Anon,(woman whose husband strayed,) is that you continually blame a masseuse, or all of them, and you call CJ out, and you say if she didn't do what she does for a living, your marriage wouldn't be in the shape it is. I think, and I know your wrong. And you throw unkind words, like whore, and prostitute at her, and I don't think they stick, or they're true. You feel slighted, hurt I get it.
Like I said, never been to a hooker, or a masseuse, and never strayed, but I know men, I know what they talk about and bitch about with respect to wives and marriage.CJ isn't the problem. From everything you've written, you're not the problem either. Your husband is that kind of guy, who thinks it's ok. He's the problem.
I once heard, on a TV show, on PBS, a joke, that's so funny, so true, and so liberating, that for a guy to say it, at the time it was, 1970's early 1980's, it redounded.
The guest was asked about female infidelity. He was a well known guy, married, and a big celebrity.
He was asked the pointed question, "What would you do if you thought your wife was fantasizing about having sex with another man, While having sex with you?"
This guy, a thinker, and a mouth breather said: Well I'd really prefer it that way, as opposed to the opposite choice.
Anon, your argument isn't with CJ, or the industry. I'm sorry you hurt. It's your marriage, and choice of guy. Period.
I the original wife, that posted the question to CJ weeks ago. I heard back from her and many on this site. I departed from the site because I felt satisfied and some nasty comments starting appearing towards me. So if course, my curiosity got the best of me and I'm back briefly.
To the anon faithful husband ( you give me hope honey)-
I appreciate your comments and all that makes sense to me. Just wanted you to understand that first of all all the recent activity wasn't me. I kinda got the feeling you think all the mote recent comments were from me. I sign mine- wife. In my posts though, I posed a question to CJ and the other women here in her profession. If they feel they are prostitutes . I never said the word whore, I don't like that word and that word is reserved for women like the man stealer above that goes after husbands with her married radar. Anyway don't wanna touch that with a ten foot pole, that is another volatile topic that will definitely stir up some hard core feelings.
So my point being, I feel I channeled my anger, I said and know it's not her fault. It's totally the husbands but I wanted perspective from the table. Those comments above aren't mine. I sign mine wife. And Its been over a week or two since I viewed this site. People were not fully comprehending my purpose/ questions/ intentions and were trying to be hurtful. I don't need that right now!
That's that. May I add, you being a faithful hub for 20+ Years made me smile and gives me hope. Your wife is a lucky woman. :)
Wife ( that posed the question that erupted into this debate)
I thought I was the original that posted questions? This is getting confusing, guess Inshould have been a liar like my husband and make up a fake persona.
Haha. I hear ya. I'm the wide CJ posted a response to. N my comments originally ending oct 16. I felt as if the last remarkers thought I was spewing the hate. Nut again my post started a month ago. Anyway just to make a little clearer. I sign my posts wife or wondering wife... Make sense? Better? R u the other wife from week ago?
Wife.
For the record, I seriously doubt the poster describing herself as a gorgeous, 38-yr-old MILF that'll sleep with any guy that looks ater her isn't legit.
Just another troll IMO - we shouldn't be responding to her (or him).
And, for what it's worth, I didn't say I'd sleep with anything that glanced in my general direction.
If there is a connection or a mutual benefit there, so be it. At the end of the day we are all grown ass adults.
Again, not my job to be your mans moral conscience.
Just because I will sleep with your unhappy husband/boyfriend etc doesn't label me a whore.
First of all, this has happened to me situationally. I choose when the connection is interesting enough to warrant an intimate encounter.
Second of all, there is generally no exchange of gifts, money so therefore, I am not necessarily a "whore"
Just because someones significant other chooses to stray doesn't label me a whore.
Just because someone knows that individual has other emotional attachments doesn't label them a whore.
I don't consider the 22 yr old that my ex cheated on me with a whore. After all, she only knows what he told her. She saw an opportunity and she took it. Fortunately, in her case it was the catalyst for me to walk away from an emotionless marriage.
Which, does happen.
Now, there have been times that I have been presented with the opportunity to date someone in a committed relationship and have declined based on the level of commitment, kids, extenuating circumstances.
Then there is the here and now. Yes, I am dating someone that has had a GF for 6 yrs that has no interest in anything other than being a soccer mom. By her own admission she hasn't been intimate with her boyfriend in almost 18 months.
Yet, he stays for financial, emotional and familial reasons. We have a great connection and meet one anothers needs. Do I feel guilty? No. Does that make me a whore? No.
--kb
And on that same note,
that doesn't label CJ a whore. She provides a service for which the husband/boyfriend etc chooses to indulge.
If my guy were going to stray I'd rather he do it the CJ way and not have unprotected sex with an actual prostitute who might be transmitting communicable diseases and/or Hep C.
In my case, again, situational. Casual sex is just that. Casual. If both parties enter in to it with full disclosure and knowledge I fail to see how that would label me a whore.
Again, the whole your mans moral conscience thing. If I am not your sister, friend etc I don't really give a fuck about your emotional well being. At least not enough to debate or contemplate my morals for your benefit.
Harsh? absolutely. Reality? Unfortunately.
Lol. Jealous much? I have standards. And you will look. You will be back. I've never dated someone in order to earn financial gain. No one pays my bills except for me. Show me where I said it was of financial benefit. Nor did I say I will have sex with anything that moves.
I'm divorced. I'm not desperate.
And I have never been with a married person with children. I have my own child, and thats kinda drawing the line.
You assume just because I say that I don't care if your man is cheating on you that that makes me the aggressor.
I don't pursue. They come to me. I choose what is worthwhile and what isn't.
As far as a code of ethics? WTF ever. There are thousands of women out there that know that a male may be/is married and based on what he tells them goes with it any way.
In the navel-gazing masturbatory medium of blogging there are a scant few writers that can hold an audience. You, CJ attract new readers effortlessly and they stumble over themselves to read every previous entry until he/she (me) is caught up and waiting for more of your life to reveal itself piece by mysterious piece.
Your subtle (and exciting) musings are quite simply the most artistically relevant (much less tolerable) use of this very new format. Your writings reverberate with Marshall Mcluhan's "The medium is the message", for as far as I have seen, you write the only blog that takes full advantage of "the blog". Yours is the only blog I have ever seen worth reading. Most other blogs and bloggers are as boring and idiotic as the thoughts and arguments that tend to appear in your comments section (why should anyone care?) ...but I know you recognize this.
Happyendingz is a truly great piece of work and you are a talented storyteller. I would simply love to keep reading it as long as possible. There is a good future for it I'm quite certain.
I continue let me state quite plainly that I am NOT doing full service. It's pretty much been what I was doing at work
nice your blog
Thanks ! Thanks for writing.
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