But I've been really bad about responding to comments. I have to admit that it kinda got intimidating after a while, and I really didn't feel like responding to Anonymous #5 who thinks I'm a whore. So now I'm going to give you a guys another chance to ask whatever you want and I swear I will answer every question.
So if I didn't answer any pressing questions from the last several weeks, now's the time to ask them. I figure this will help me get back on track and caught up on things.
CJ
89 comments:
Yeah!!!!! I have lots of questions:
1) Why did you leave the business?
2) How do you keep what you do from derek? Most guys like to visit at work, etc.
3) Is Derek still wanting you to get married?
I have more questions but I don't want to be a hog. xoxo Melissa
With what you do being so lucrative, why don't you ever seem to have any money?
Where has it all gone in the last 10 years? You don't seem like an addict.
KasanovaRN
1. You mentioned hitting rock bottom in an earlier post and receiving needed therapy from your friend Eric. What did you confess to him of doing to clients or letting be done to you?
How old are you, really?
Please comment on the differences in ejaculations between older and younger men.
How much are you charging and how does it compare with what people paid at the business? Are you typically getting tips on top of your fee?
I've been curious about Techno-Nerd Eric from the beginning.
How is it this guy knows about your work, and do you (or have you) 'compensated' him for his help?
;)
Congatulations CJ on gaining some control with the table. I think the next step for more control is to limit the release to hands only. You can offer topless or nude sessions if you're comfortable with your customer. Please stay safe!
I'm with Melissa, why did you leave the business?
We all want to know what happened with leaving the business.
Long-time follower, excited to leave a question.
Why so reluctant to tell anyone you're dating what you do, straight-up? (I mean, third date, sure...) What if they momentarily freaked out but then were cool about it? It would make your life a lot easier. :) It seems like Derek would probably understand if you told him.
And from me, congrats on getting back on your feet and laying down some rules, getting the business to be YOUR business. I was worried, as much as an Anonymous reader can be :)
Congratulations on getting back on top of things.
Hey CJ!
What would Derek do/say if he found out what your job really consists of?
Have you ever had an orgasm while working? How?
Fuck - Marry - Kill:
1. George Clooney
2. Tom Hanks
3. Mel Gibson
Have you considered applying for work at an AMP? It would seem to have the structured rules that you and your clients now require. Non-asian girls do exist at a couple of places in MA/RI. Are you capable of letting go of the rigid generalizations you've made about these places in the past.
Best wishes to you
Anonymous #913
Excellent news! I don't have a question but just wanted to say I'm glad Eric's therapy sessions are helping.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be but don't let the anonymous assholes get you down. They're pathetic cowards. Not the nice anon's. You know the one's I mean.
Glad you're feeling better. I really enjoy reading your blogs. I'm in the area and go to AMPs about once a month or so. Answer me this:
Is it normal for a guy to not be hard at all during the massage and when the flip comes? I'm early 30s and by no means have ED (yet) and I have a GF who I see on the weekends (she lives out of state). So I get laid pretty regularly but like to get polished off once and a while. I feel like these ladies expect me to be hard and ready when the time comes. Most usually just grab my junk and then I'm good to go. But recently I had one woman kinda just look at me and gensture "well get ready".
I guess if I was a 50+ guy who didnt get laid from his wife this would be like a super exciting situation to have a lady half naked rubbing you down but for me, I'm not excited until she touches it.
Harrold
1) How often does someone take you up on the "You provide the clothing for me to wear as long as the tags are still attached" offer?
2) What has happened to The Business Establishment since you left it?
3) Do you like "mood music" when you are working?
4) What was the most unexpected, yet appreciated, gift you ever got from any client?
5) You are President for one week, what one thing would you like to accomplish?
MunDane
I recall in an earlier post you described your Oscar winning performance of video recording the HE with a client and ending the session with the peace sign. However you also briefly talked about other sessions which were recorded but you didn't elaborate about those moments. Were they worth a leading actress award?
Just saw this post over at lovinglyshared and thought you'd get a kick out of it.
http://lovinglyshared.blogspot.com/2011/10/milking-him.html
:)
The thing to remember, CJ, is that anonymous #5 who left a comment telling you that you are something bad is really just some small person who gets some miniscule amount of satisfaction for themself by treating other people poorly. I am sure that you know that already, but it helps to remind yourself of that as you are reading them. :) Best wishes! -Mondo
I agree with Tom in NH. If you want to allow for additional options which you feel comfortable with other than just hand release, that would be ok too I would think, as long as the list of possibilities is known up front to the client. As Tom said, this gives you control, and more importantly, says to the client that you control the situation. If the client asks for something not put forth by you, and you say ok to it (even if you feel it is perfectly safe and ok), then that opens the door for the client to press on for more. Of course that is just my (our) two cents worth. Good point to bring up, Tom! -Mondo
Hi, just wanted to say I enjoyed reading and I hope you continue. Your writing is engaging and interesting. Thanks!
Dear C.J.: Forget the anonymous comments. If those douchebags had balls, they wouldn't be anonymous. You'll notice my comments are *never* anonymous. I don't think you're a whore at all but I do think you made a major mistake in not telling your boyfriend what you do up front. That information is a ticking time bomb that's going to blow up in your face someday. I hope he understands when he finds out (and he will), but I'm not optimistic. Love you, sweetie.
What is your advice to a wife whose husban has been using your extra services and options and has thier heart, trust, and security broken?
I've been dying to hear the story about you leaving the business. This should give you plenty of opportunities to bad-mouth Audry. That's got to be good therapy for you, too.
can you repost the famous pictures of you, trina, and cindy?
Can you please, please show us your breasts?
How do you pay Eric for his help? :)
To anonymous #913
AMP stands for Asian Massage Parlor. She doesn't like AMP at all to begin with. She wouldn't go there.
What was your best memory of the business? Out of the times and experiences you had there, you had to have one day that was one that stood out as one of the best.
CJ...my first post. Just when you think you have it figured out one of Susie's fans writes of his experience getting services from The Business. I'm starting to get interested! My only naked massage was Purely Therapeutic...at a holistic retreat center. I was in the buff, she not. I decided not to let my thoughts wonder erotically...it remains a sweet memory. Here, however, is a naked horse of a different color...if a link is permitted. Comment pls. BTW...LOVE your honesty. Don't quit! (Take 3 mo. off and write a book. You must!) Listen to the teaser here...man on...yes, a massage table:
http://susiebright.blogs.com/susie_brights_journal_/2008/06/i-have-to-admit-my-favorite-part-of-my-in-bed-podcast-is-my--mailbox-the-letters-secrets-and-sex-questions-i-get-make-me.html
Did you ever go full service with any clients since leaving the business.
CJ
you said you are doing clients because you need the money. Um, can you discuss your budget?
You are single, no kids, you should be swimming in cash.
-pat
CJ, so I came across your blog about 2 months ago, and after reading many of your stories I finally gained enough courage to go out and get an erotic massage. I looked all over the net to find a place to check out and finally settled on a independent. I called, made an appointment and went for it. It was great but,... let me tell you how it went. I got there and she invited me into her studio. She told me her options of lingerie, or topless no touching and 30 min or 60 min. I asked if she offered a nude and she said no and she normally does not offer topless to new clients. So I chose topless for 60 minutes. She told me to get comfortable ad would be right back. Before she left I asked her about drapping and she said what ever i was comfertable with was fine. I disrobed and laid down on the futon naked and mind you I was very nervouse my heart was pounding so hard and fast that I thought my heart was going to explode. I did calm down mostly by the time she came in so all was good. She gave me an ok message on my back side, the whole time chatting me up on my day ect... I am mostly a quiet person but I remembered you saying that the right attitude goes along way so I opened up to her. Then the flip came. The massage on my chest and legs was great, Plus with her leaning all over me things started to get awakened. When she noticed my erection starting to grow she told me that I could manually realease myself while she continued the massage. But she did not do that. I asked her if she offered a breast or butt release and she said that she does not do that and most of her clients release themselves. I was shocked and did not expect that at all. She offered oil and asked me to warn her when I was about to shoot so not to get it in her hair. She did say that I could touch her breasts or ass if I wanted.
I did enjoy my time there but was a little let down on the HE. So what do you think? Is she worth another appoint ment? Also should I leave a tip for and independent and how much should be left. I admit I did not leave a tip for her. Thanks for your input.
PS. I love all your posts, I am glad your doing better.
Matthew:
Don't go back. You can get much better service... and she certainly didn't deserve a tip.
This is a scam, of sorts. She's knows as well as you what you're looking for - but by the time you find out she doesn't deliver, it's too late.
It's an unavoidable hazard - it's happened to many of us, and it can be hard to spot ahead of time.
Good luck.
CJ:
Let me ask an earlier question differently: What's the farthest you've ever gone with a paid massage. Details would be awesome!
PS I love your blog :)
Well I hate to admit I became the VICTIM of a cheating husband who visited parlors. Let me be clear and say we've always had a great marriage and super sex. Basically anyway he wanted it anytime, anywhere. So imagine my surprise when I discovered his visits to these places. My anger, hurt and ultimately devastation led me to look up and search for where these places were in my area and how many and I discovered your blog. I gotta say I am shocked at your nonchalanonce about this and your commenters defending you by saying if the wives kept there husbands happy they wouldn't look for this. What about the wives at home working their fingers to the bone to keep happy house happy kids and happy very happy husband? Why are some of you ignoring te fact that this is illegal, immoral and devastating to families especially te children who lose their fathers? Why are you CJ proud and blatantly so non caring about the families that are destroyed? I don't know you and by no means want to direct my anger towards you because the fault lies mostly w the husbands but explain to me why this is ok to you. My words are gonna be harsh but this is prostitution, end if story. Ok your not having sex w them but their climaxing between your fucking tits and ass? Something thyself supposed to be reserved for the great wives who give their husbands everything they need n want sexually. Don't you feel bad at all? Moneys one thing but what about the devastation you cause once your finished wiping what number 10 of the days jiz off ur face? What about the wife who is at home with a hot meal waiting for him and a blowjob to boot... On the dick that was just up ur ass? No guilt? No feelings of hey, I wouldn't want to be his wife and what would I do if I was... Again I don't know you personally and as you can probably tell am a writer also, which can I add it you are a fantastic writer.. It wasn't so much your stories that dragged me in but your writing. Anyway, I don't know you personally but what goes around comes around. Your going to fall in love, head over heels, your gonna settle down give up this horrible job you do have children and one day look at your husbands credit card and see a parlor on there. Maybe worse- catch him with a GF or a hooker. What then CJ? How will u feel CJ when u hav to explain to your crushed children that daddies not coming home bc he broke a promise to mommy and broke her heart. Just food for thought, I hope I did my best in not making this against you but more of a hey help me out with this. Help me understand. I'll look for a reply for I guess a little while, I hope I see one from you women to women. Thanks for your time and I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on my worst enemy. Maybe the next time you have some guys dick in your face in his wives bedroom, looking at his kids pictures you'll think of me and the broken families this leaves. :(
Dear Anonymous,
Taking away all sex workers will not make your husband faithful.
Some men seek out strippers,escorts, and body rub and others simply don't. Obviously you need to find the kind that doesn't. Good luck.
Believe me, I fully understand that- thanks. People portray themselves as one thing and when the lies and facade comes about it's devastating. Especially when the husband try's to convince one that during a " normal" massage a masseuse just goes for it n well whatever that doesn't matter I'm getting off track!! But my question was to the actual sex worker, wondering about her feelings on the matter from the point of view from the wife or GF. She is a G F from what I've read so I'm curious about the sex workers view on the topic. I'm the wife so I know how I feel and what this has done to me n my kids. I wanna know how she feels being a "co-conspirator" per say... How does it feel to destroy a family. Again I cant stress enough this isn't directed personally to CJ but since she's the only sex worker/ hooker I hav access to right now I dying for some insight. Thanks for the good luck wishes Melissa, I need it! Lol.
O yeah Melissa, I forgot to mention...
15 years I thought I had the type who doesn't seek out hookers of any type. I thought I had that. Never had a reason to believe otherwise. So as I said on post nbr 1, imagine my shock n horror to find This out. I can't help but feel again what I said in my earlier post, people defending the hooker with no sympathy for the families. Am I imagining this or is there a feeling of well, no responsiblility on the women's part...?? Thanks again.
To Anonymous wife:
Let me say I sympathize deeply with you, and I understand your situation more than I care to admit or discuss.
The truth is, though, CJ provides a service. There are a lot of businesses out there that exploit people's vices... though few are as blatantly illegal or such an affront to our values.
IMO CJ is like a cigarette company, selling a product that can ultimately do immeasurable harm to the buyer and those around the buyer. But we don't get mad at the tobacco company, and perhaps we shouldn't get mad at CJ.
I'm not trying to dismiss your pain or anger - you come by both of them very honestly. Nor am I defending CJ's choices or lifestyle. I'm just not sure how much of a bad guy she is.
Regards, and good luck.
I am the Anon that wanted "advice"; and the other Anon wife who posted recently is asking for exactly what I would like CJ to answer...not Just Visiting. CJ isn't really anwsering any questions even though we knoe all these comments are going to her inbox. The betrayal and pain are unbearable-and both the client and provider are doing illegal, immoral and hurtful acts when families, children, spouses are kept in the dark about this secret life. It's different from an affair, not so obvious what to do with your marriage. CJ- turn your life around, get out of this addictive, enslaving life.
Dear Anon Wife,
I think many erotic masseuses do think about the wives/girlfriends; I know I do. It's hard to tell if someone is married in many cases because they often remove their ring. Then again, I know for a fact many clients are not married or dating.
I don't think it's the wife/girlfriend's fault that the guy goes to an erotic masseuse or escort but I also don't feel it's my fault. Removing myself from the industry would do nothing to diminish the number of extra-marital hand jobs.
Melissa,
Extra- marital hand jobs... Although u say h think of the wives/GF's your comment comes across insensitive to say least. Which makes me question the scope of your thoughts and feelings towards the matter. This non chalance is what made me inquire as to what the hookers feel about these acts. I mean the graphic nature is disturbing butt releases, thigh relaeases, facials etc... I mean come on.. Another women has her hand wrapped around the guys dick, bringing him to cum. U girls cannot feel that great about yourself. I mean come on I want one of you girls to b honest. Let us wives know how u really feel and how would u feel if ur was ur hub?
To Anonymous:
I didn't mean to annoy you with my response.
I'd assumed you were looking for some additional insight into what happened and why (I thought I had some). From the tone of your retort, I see I was wrong.
Sorry.
Dear just visiting,
I've never replied to a blog conversation so it's a little confusing!! But I am the original anon wife with the super long post yesterday. I'm not sure if ur last comment was to me but I appreciated your thoughts and any retort I made wasnt to u. I don't think it was at least... lol!! I'm so confused w all the anon s etc. I'm def not saying CJ is a horrible women but I'm saying that the whole process and situations age has described are horrible. I also am hoping for a reply from her, I really want the hookers points of views. As I said I don't know any hookers and I think the insight from these girls along w women like you is healing in a horribly odd way. As an intelligent women I want and need to understand the thoughts of others. So thank again and I look forward to hearing from u all!! Thx!!
To Anonymous:
No problem. I've known more than one person in the situation you're in - it's always hard, and I think some of the questions people ask have no answer.
Not to be flippant, but IMO it all comes around to this - God gave men brains and penises, but not enough blood to work them both at the same time.
Again, good luck.
When can we see some pictures of you???
@ Just. Visiting- thanks for your follow up and apology accepted. 2nd Anon wife- i also hope CJ will
Give some insight from her side. And are you staying married?
I just wanted to leave my two cents and say I really feel bad for the wifey who's husband has gotten one too many happy endings.
As a happily married husband myself, I too had a few happy ending massages. If I am happily married, why would I have to do such a thing you ask? Since you didn't really ask..I am going to tell you anyway.
Look, from a man's perspective, it has nothing to do with feelings, love, lust, or any other thing you can think of as cheating. The ONLY thing it has to do with is a great massage and busting a nut. I'm a horny bastard simple and plain. If my wife doesn't give it up for 2 weeks or so and I am horny as hell and jacking off doesn't cut it, then yeah, I'm heading to the AMP.
There has been times where I had to beg my wife for sex. I have to jack off before she comes home just so that I am not horny when I am around her. How sad is that? Am I a sex addict? I don't know, maybe. But that's how it is for me right now. I'm sure one day my sex drive will diminish but for now it is like 0 to 60 in a Ferrari. My wife cannot keep up. I don't blame her because I know men and women are different. Her idea of hot sex is coming home and talking to me for two hours straight when I'm trying to watch football.
Cut your husband some slack. The only reason why he would do such of thing because it was lacking at home. If my wife gave me an hour massage plus some pussy once or twice a week I wouldn't have to pay some 50 year old asian for a massage and hand job. Trust me, not something I am proud of.
Give your husband what is lacking and I highly doubt he would feel the need to pay for a rub and tug...or even the online porn sites that he frequents. Okay, well maybe not the porn sites. Good luck fixing your marriage since it would be the stupidest thing to get a divorce over.
Hello CJ, how are you doing today beautiful? You are an intelligent and creative writer. You have an amazing and brave ability to take your personal life experiences; put them into a written format and help me the intrigued reader visually see every single moment. I am willing to be your agent for 15% of the profits when you write your first book......smile... Don't allow some of the "ANON" writers get you down, because everyone has the ability to choose where his/her feet take them. Some men and women are unfaithful because there is something missing in their relationship either emotional, physical or spiritual and they pursue other people to fill that void. Don't feel compelled to answer questions about infadelity, because your not the root cause of someone straying. Anyways, continue to be the strong and lovely person you are.
p.s. Take one day, any day before next weekend and pamper yourself and I may give you a relaxing foot massage.
Can you post a pic or 2? Granted, you may want to block your face and/or give a tease but some of us guys that follow your blog wanna get an idea of what the view is like during a session with you.
Things are still up in the air... I thrown him out for a few months but allowed home after the Children reacted horribly to the news of the separation. I dont know just now, some days I am able to put it out of my mind but other days I look at him n just cry n cry bc I picture in my mind what's happening. It's alot its allot!! So to answer ur question- I don't know. I still love him but the hurt is too much for me.
you check out on "TOPIX" BRONX SECTION..type "i feel in love with a prostitute"...on google search..It might help in understanding the whys someone visits a MP or escort...
Dear Anon Wife,
Did your husband go to an escort/prostitute in addition to the massage parlor? If so, how'd you find out about the escort?
With all the sex, sounds like maybe he has an addiction.
Anonymous wife is right.
A husband who cheats is WRONG - no questions asked. There are no excuses. A husband who cheats and blames his wife is a worthless pile of crap.
Even if the wife is doing something wrong (which doesn't seem to be the case here), two wrongs don't make a right - even grade-schoolers know that.
Men cheat when sex is more important than their families.
Wow, to the Sex Slave Wife…before you go insulting me about not being able to read…please learn how to write! Anyway, I could really insult you right now but I am going to refrain because yeah, I really feel sorry for you. And let me stop you at the loser comments, I am very educated and very successful.
I really can’t even begin to image why your husband will hit up massage parlors for a hand job if he gets what he needs at home. Something really isn’t right here, did I miss something? How many times does this guy need to bust a nut a day?! And I thought I was a sex addict.
Look, I’m not even close to being the asshole your husband is. I do take some responsibility and I know what I did wasn’t right, and I have debated whether if I would ever go back. I think I am just going through a phase in my life right now…I’m not perfect.
But there is no reason to blow up at me because your husband is a dirt bag. I mean seriously…I suppose I would be as flabbergasted as you are. Get some help or get a divorce. He isn’t JUST going to massage parlors for a hand job.
And to Just Visiting… I don’t know what your story is or why your perfect self is reading sex blogs. Call me delusional, and I may be totally off base here, but having somebody I give two shits about jerk me off isn’t cheating in my book.
I love my wife more than anything and I would never have sex with another woman or form a relationship with somebody else. You can call me a worthless pile of crap or whatever you want, but you don’t know me.
To the Anon Hubby,
I will actually apologize for losing my cool. But you blaming a wife and stating if she was doing her job with hom at he he wouldn't seek elsewhere totally set me off. As I'm sure that does happen way kore than it should I have always made it a priority that he was very well taken care of. So your opinion would not apply to me. I don't understand why thats the assumption bc their are many instances where it's just not true. So I apologize for losing my cool, that is jot my nature but this is such a hot and emotional topic for me. I do however still feel that you along with many other husbands do not take responsiblity for your own horrible actions and push the blame off onto your wives. So again, whats your opinion on this situation for a wife who's always made it a point to keep her husband very happy at home? Thanks and I do appreciate your empathy... But wow, that generalization of why a hub cheats is so not the Case for me... My hub always been so happy, his words. He always bragged about our sex life, I'm much younger than him. Take very good care of myself after all our children, ive had many opportunities myself but WOULD NEVER!! Ehat are your thoughts? Thx again, wondering wife.
To the hub again,
To answer your questions... We've always maintained a very healthy sex life. Only dry spells would b after the births of our children which were on a countdown for the six weeks. If your married and have children you know what I mean. I've always had a huge appetite for sex also so we are very compatible. I'd say it ranges but in average we have sex at least 4-5 times a week. No there's times/ weekends where's it's 2-3 times a day. And also being a pretty jnformed or scared women ( ehen it comes to cheating) iv always been afraid of him getting bored so I always change things up n have fun with sex.
Sex addict- I don't know, I just thought that was normal for us... Would that make me a sex addict bc I like ut everyday? If so why havent I cheated? It just doesn't make sense to me. Thoughts r appreciated! I'm calm now!
Wondering wife
So that's that...
Hi Melissa,
Here it goes... I found out bc something in me knew something just wasn't right suspicious. I can't explain it. He home every night, never late from work. I answer his phone all the time n check his messages for him. That's just the relationship we've always had. So I've never had any reason to question him. But basically I just let him know I felt something was up. And he admitted to me after pestering him that in deed he has cheated.
Massage parlors about 10 times, a hooker once, and a chance encounter with a long lost friend also once. Never any GF's and never any relationships with another women. He Basically said it ws mistakes he made, It Had nithing to do w me or r relationship. But those aren't good enough for me. I always tried to make him feel special and like he was king of kings ya know. He doesnt want to lose me or r family and is fighting to keep me but thr trust is broken snd my heart is beaten down. I feel Like ill never b able to not picture him w another women.. So hard after 15 yrs of marriage and i Love him so much. And yes we've always had a very active sex life. I never thought of it ad addiction bc like u told the other gentleman I too love it/ need it... U get the picture! So ur a massage girl I guess who gives extra services what's your opinion o. This? And as the women who's rubbing one off for another women's hub how would u feel if this happened to u n would u be able to forgive him- being your on both sides of the table? Id love to hear ur thoughts just in case CJ doesn't respond. Thx for being nice!!
Wondering wife.
To wife, you are right, I can only speak on my situation and to why I did what I did. To me it is clear cut and dry. I only get the rub and tug if I am desperate and hurting for a release. Doesn’t mean I want to hurt my wife, doesn’t mean I’m looking for love. I just need to bust a freaking nut. I don’t think it instantly turns me into the worst husband in the world. The only reason I can justify doing it...is if my wife went for a massage and the dude gives her a happy finger-banging at the end, I couldn’t be mad at her. I couldn’t be mad at her only if she has asked me repeatedly to get her off and I failed to do so. I still know she loves me. I still know she wouldn’t leave me for a guy that finger-bangs for a living. That’s just stupid.
If I got it at home on a regular basis, there is absolutely no reason for me to go to those places. I shit you not, sex is just not something she cares for anymore. Her sex drive just isn’t very strong. We do still have sex at least once a week but I want it more…I need it more. Plus, what really kills me, it seems as if she doesn’t get pleasure from it anymore. I want nothing more than to make her cum, and make her enjoy it as much as I do, but she could care less. She hasn’t had an orgasm in the past 10 or so times we had sex. Hell, maybe she’s cheating one me? LOL.. I doubt it. We are just different in that way.
Again, I only went to the massage parlor because there was a dry spell and my own wife hasn’t touched my dick in so long. And trust me, most of these women or 10 to 20 years older than me, not attractive at all, and can barely speak English. I seriously couldn't call this cheating. But I couldn’t tell you why your hubby would go constantly when you give him what he needs at home. Good luck.
Look, I have no problem that you choose to be a prostitute for a living, however, I am a real massage therapist that HATES it when I have to jump through hoops to prove that I am not a prostitute because of how you market yourself (as a massage therapist instead of a prostitue). It should be completely separate verbage as to what you call your profession than trying to pull off a true massage therapist that is in this profession to heal people. You are the type that makes it really hard for us to gain a reputable name and living. Do us a favor and go get a porn license and stop marketing yourself as a massage therapist. I am having to go infront of a city counsel next week to prove I am a real therapist so I can open a wellness store. Thanks for making my profession so damn hard.
Billie DeBra LNMT GA
Anon Hub,
I'm sorry for your situation then. Women go through different stages and a women's sexual peak is 30's to 40's, so not knowing ur wives age maybe things will change for you back to the better. no matter what's going on with ur sex life though cheating is cheating. I ur wife would probably feel the same way about that. I mean forget the massage for a minute, a women not ur wife is jerking your dick. That's cheating honey!! If u don't mind me asking, I'm curious now, do u only get hand jobs or do u take the hookers uo on the different services CJ has mentioned? And as far as what u said in a previous post, your not messing anything. My husband as always told me how Great I am, how happy I make him and even brags to people about r sex life. So imagine my surprise when I found all this out. As far as I knew and as far as my husband had said we had a perfect relationship- if one exists. And r u sure u wouldn't mind ur wife doing the same thing? Ur complaining about her lack of desire. What if u discovered she was with another man, you don't satisfy her and although she still loves you, she needs satisfaction from another man- honestly how would you feel? I tend not to believe what u said u b ok w it?!! Just curious...
Wondering Wife.
This is Shallbe...
yes why did you leave the business....
and maybe you should make a twitter..to keep us updated
To the guy who thinks tugjobs aren't cheating:
Would your wife agree?
And whatever you say, I know three pretty telling things about you:
1) you're willing to violate your wife's trust just to bust a nut;
2) you think it's OK; and
3) you say it's her fault.
I'm not perfect... I never said I was... but she doesn't call the web sites I visit cheating. I'm pretty sure your wife wouldn't say that about your activities, if you came clean.
All these claims you make to here... would your wife agree?
Edit to the last post:
It's my wife that doesn't call the web sites I visit cheating.
Why are you here buddy? I'm sure you visit porn sites also. That is cheating in some people's eyes.
Cheating is breaking your spouse's trust, not others' spouses. I haven't done that... evidently the guy I'm talking to has.
Are these really things that need to be explained to people??
Dear Billie DeBra LNMT GA,
FYI, if you google your name, the first thing that comes up is this blog: Confessions of An Erotic Masseuse.
Hehe. That's what you get for spewing cyberhate.
Above Anon, I wonder how many diffrent names you had to go through to find one that wasn't really taken... since the only link that brings that name up to this website is your own post.
Fail troll is fail.
HAY CJ I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU EVER THINK ABOUT YOUR DAD CHEATING ON YOUR MOM WITH SOME SKANKY HO LIKE URSELF. IS IT HARD TO LIE TO YOURSELF ABOUT NOT BEING A SELF CENTERED PIG HO OR IS IT MORE OF A MASOCHISTIC THING WHERE U THINK U DESERVE IT? ALSO CONGRATS ON FINDING YOUR TRUE USE IN SOCIETY-ACTING HOW YOUR PAID TO ACT SO I CAN JIZZ
Anon wife...
I am a sensual masseuse although I don't offer touching of me or breast release/butt release or whatever (I used to but hated it), and I only get nude or topless for customers respectful of my boundaries.
Anyway. enough about me.
Your husband is - put simply - a cheating idiot. It's no good blaming the providers - we do this job which can be a very depressing job - for money to support our own kids, get ourselves out of difficult situations outwith our own control etc. You said your hub had a 'non-paid' encounter too? Well if providers did not exist, he would just have more of those.
I really feel )-: for you. I feel soooo angry at the men who visit me who are obviously partnered. It drives me mental, but I only have 2 hours to work a day inbetween studying so I can't afford not to take them and if I told them I didn't see married men they would just lie anyway.
These men like your husband will not stop. It's nothing you could have done - please stop blaming yourself. Please , you are worth more than that x My partner and me sometimes do not have sex for 3 weeks , this is common . They don't HAVE to have sex or they will combust. It's not your fault. It is one of the most depressing things about the industry to see all these married men )-:
And to the guy who is telling you you must have not 'given him enough' at home, and that's how he himself justifies his cheating - you are just an asshole. For real. Imagine saying "I just need to bust a nut" - well have a wank then!!!!! My god. Imagine making this poor lady feel worse about herself just because you want to justify your behaviour to yourself. I'm by no means whiter than white, I'm a massage and relief provider! but let me tell you, I know the behaviour of men - I'm sure CJ does as well - you can't fool us!
Dear relief provider,
Wow, thank you. That was very very nice of you. I don't know you but you managed to make me feel a little better! And I agree about the husband, what an asshole to use his wife as an excuse. Cheating is cheating bottom line.
I've away been very confident with myself snd my life but wow, this really took the wind right out of my sails. We've always had such a great marriage and life, I just can't understand it. Although I understand it is not my fault I can't help but wonder why I was not enough for him. Why he had the need for something or someone else I'm hoping to get a grasp on.
Thank you again but I have a question that I hope doesn't offend you but all this recent research iv been doing on the industry has made me slightly curious about a couple things. The first being do you as the provider consider yourself a hooker or prostitute? I'm just wondering... I hav children and would do anything I had to provide for them, lucky iv been lucky enough in life where I've never been faced with the decision of sacrificing my self respect or morals to put a meal on the table for my children. That being said do you consider urself a hooker and if you were in my situation would you forgive him? He's promised me the world and said they were mistakes made and it would never happen again. He didn't realize that
His actions would take the Life right outta me, so if you wouldn't mind, tell me! Thanks again.
Wife
The post above just shows what a bitch Wife is. A woman "on the other side" leaves her a nice, comforting message and she launches into her typical..."don't take offense, but do you consider yourself a hooker" because SHE would never sacrifice her morals to put food on the table.
Maybe your husband cheated on you to escape the high and mighty attitude. At least hookers don't act like they're better than everyone.
And sweetheart, it's you're when you mean to say you are, not your! Trust me, you aren't a writer as you claim in your first post.
All right guys!!!! Enough all ready!!!!
I'm answering as many questions as I can for now. But this is what I get when I ignore you guys too long.
CJ
Aww
We just miss you.
Mike
You're very mean... I'm the farthest thing from a bitch. I started my return tot the anon lady saying thank you for being so nice and I meant that. If my question seemed harsh that wasn't my intention. I thought this was a forum to ask open and honest questions with out fear of persecution. It's a tough topic. And If you read carefully I said I would do anything for the kids, not that I wouldn't. I do understand some situations require drastic solutions.
No need to try and insult me, I just wanted a honest answer as to what the ladies in the other side think and feel, thats it. High and mighty- far from. Funny how ones perception of you can be so off when they draw their conclusions from a couple lines. Anyway enough of that. Want honest answers If anyone's willing to out themselves out there so to speak. Thanks all and I appreciate it.
How did you lose your virginity?
LOL! See what I mean? You still can't come up with a name or even insult anyone in a creative or new way.
I have been to three different "businesses"...all asian. Not the full service type. The one I didn't expect a HJ from, I got one and the one I figured was a for sure....was a dud.
Is there a way to determine HJ BEFORE.....without sounding like a knucklehead....especially with limited engrish...oops I mean english.
I would go to a normal "parlor", buy I live in the bible belt....they are few and far between.
Great post to describes a fucking movement post. I like to read them.
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Hi sorry for the late reply. This is sensual masseuse again who replied to you before.
I'm in no way offended by your question, don't worry (-:
Yeah I would call myself a prostitute - because a hand job is a sexual service after all. However, it IS a whole lot different from full service in the regard that there is no intimacy involved in massage.
I think I would initially leave my husband if he cheated in any way. Affair = bad in the way of there being emotions involved, an "other woman" , a two-way attraction but good in the way that he had not paid for sexual services from someone who does not like/know him, only there for the money. A lot of men who visit prostitutes do so knowing the woman is not into the sex, but he can still do it anyway and "finish" regardless - that's someone I'd avoid. So neither is a better situation than the other to be honest. An affair would hurt me more emotionally, but a paid encounter would make me seriously question his morals to engage in sex with someone he must be aware does not want to be there really (is just tolerating it for the money).
But.....love isn't black and white. Everyone does wrong sometimes. If there was children and shared history/life together involved I may try to give it another chance but not straight away.
The main thing is you must not think it's your own fault. It's fully his fault. Relationships are about communication and honesty - if something was bothering him about your sex life then he should have brought it up. It's not your fault he strayed. I would say that if he ever once tries to turn it on you or blame you get out of there like a shot (like these "he must have been lacking something at home he had to bust a nut(!)" guys on here!).
Good Luck x
Not really a comment. A question. My wife has been wanting an erotic massage are we are coming to pv next month. Do you massage women as well?
Shannon Rae you are a bully and a mean person. How could you say that. Disgraceful.
Who's calling who a whore...? We all are if we work for someone! It's meeting a need and getting paid for the work. My long casual objective observation of people meeting other peoples needs (whether it's food, clothing, shelter, water, sex, companionship, adventure, isolation, etc.,etc., etc.) is CJ has recognized a need that unfortunately most (and I repeat most) women either don't recognize or for whatever reason don't want to recognize. Every "occupation" under the sun is meeting someone's need. So, who is so righteous to say what is legitimate or not? Look at what the righteous Muslims do as legitimate! it's enough to make one puke. And the Christians (bless their heart) can only secretly wish they could have the freedom to do what CJ does....hello?
"And the Christians (bless their heart) can only secretly wish they could have the freedom to do what CJ does....hello?"
Actually, I think many Christians would say that they do have the freedom to do what CJ does -- but they do not think it would be in their own best interests to do so (for the sake of their conscience or the long-term health of their soul).
I dare say masseuses have saved many a marriage from divorce, by keeping the man in occasional bliss. Otherwise he'd be forced to divorce to get sex. God and Mother Nature made that drive strong enough to survive any obstacle, otherwise none of us would be here.
Human physical contact is a superior psychological need than an hour of talking to yourself in a therapist's office, and probably cheaper too. Think how many school shootings and serial killings were prevented by masseuses.
Fat wives, ugly wives, lazy wives, bitchy wives, man-hating wives, lesbian wives, working wives = rich masseuses. Every wife should be required by law and church to read Fascinating Womanhood before they're allowed to marry or date, and take a massage class. If yo uthink men would rather pay top dollar for it than get it "free" at home, you're nuts.
Womens Lib was always a CIA/jewish plot to overthrow families and USA by getting wives out of the home so they no longer NEED men, financially or sexually, then double the tax on families and cut a man's income in half. Playboy bunny Gloria Steinham was a kosher CIA agent. (evil laff)
American masseuses should study the methods of Asian Massage Parlors if they want to compete for business. How many Americans give full-body washes? How many wives do the same?
Typical lazy Americans refuse to compete at that high quality of service. That's one reason there's 100-million illegal aliens in USA, including the White House.
There's many other reasons, many political, having nothing to do with the work ethic of American masseuses. Organized crime syndicates of all nationalities run massage parlors and brothels, often using virtual slavery, just like Walmart using slave labor in 3rd world nations.
All cops ARE organized crime, same for both major political parties. Cops often use massage parlors as honeytraps, to extort money from married men and parlor owners, and to arrest their political rivals. If you really want to fight crime, clean out the govt first, that's where the worst psychopaths are. Read the Franklin Coverup, Why Johnny Can't Come Home and Trance Formation of America to find out how our govt runs the pedophile kidnap snuff-kiddie-porn sexslave business.
As for the legality of happy endings of every kind, that is legal in many parts of the world including USA, with mandatory medical testing and free medical care. A good lawyer would be able to win legalization of prostitution in any jurisdiction using Constitutional Equal Protection argument, since wives, GFs and whores are given immunity for the same thing, often with a higher profit motive.
That is all.
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Hey just curious. You've seen a lot of dicks I'm sure (duh lol) ever seen any impressive dicks? You know impressive like size, shape, length, etc? I guess the real question is what race (black, white, Asian, etc) in your years of experience have you seen with the most impressive dicks?
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