Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Freak of the Week - The Midnight Special

I was afraid that being on Twitter was going to open up a can of worms.  What I think is worthy of only a few sentences, people want explained out here.  Well, I've been feeling uninspired for a while, so maybe you guys asking questions is a good thing.

But first a quick update...

Kimmie is working out just fine.  So fine in fact that I've even been able to give her some shifts by herself.  And that means... VACATION!!!!

Me and a girlfriend took off for 3 days last week and spent it at the Indian casino up in the Pocono's.  I know it's not much of a vacation, but when you've been working 5-7 days a week for the last 6 months, it's like an eternity.

Anyway, let me explain why I had to come in early to clean up Maude's desk.  You see, I was working the night shift by myself.  Usually, the latest we will take a customer is 30 minutes before close.  If no one comes in, then we'll spend the last 30 minutes tidying up and getting the place ready for the next day.

Well about 5 minutes to being out the door, I hear a knock.  It's "Bill" - who I call an Irregular Regular.  He's the kind of customer that will see you 3 days in a row, then disappear for 7 months.  He's funny and tips well, so I buzz him in.

"Hey Bill... What's it been?  7 months now?"

He just smiles.  "Yeah.  You know me.  I just got back from a business trip and I just drove a hundred miles an hour hoping to catch you.  So whadya say?  How about a quickie?"

"I just closed the books, and all my sheets and oils are put away.  You know you gotta get here earlier."

"Ohhhhh CJ," he says with that grin I can't say no to. "Pretty please?  I've been on the road a long time and really really really wanted to see you."

I waved my arms around.  "Everything is put away and the warmers are turned off.  You shoulda called!"

Now he looks crushed.  But the Business Man in him doesn't see a problem - he sees opportunity.  He starts to look around the room as if he's re-assessing the situation.  I swear I saw his eye twinkle.

"We could do it right here."

"Excuse me?"

"Yup.  You wouldn't even have to get up from that chair."  

The logical part of me wants to throw him out for breaking the rules while the curious part of me is already in the car yelling "I don't care!  Can we go now?"  

But the LAZY part of me says "... You had me at chair."

I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and said "Whatever.  As long as I don't have to move from behind the desk.  AND you have to close the drapes all the way."  

I swear Bill literally skipped around the room as soon as I said that.  I swiveled the chair around to meet him and gave him a big tired looking smile.  He reached down and pulled my shirt off me.  

At this point in the evening I was too tired to even undo my bra, plus I was kind of wondering what he had in mind.  He unbuckled his pants then completely dropped them and his boxers on the floor, then neatly stepped out of them (it takes me 10 minutes to peel my jeans off - I envy men's fashion sometimes).

I reach out and start fondling his dick.  Fondle is a good word since I don't have my customary oils to properly lubricate and stroke him.  And as I've explained before, I'm not very good at the dry hands technique.  Before long, he gets hard anyway and I'm kinda rythmically stroking him with just my fingertips.  

Without taking my eyes off his cock I ask "So what did you have in mind?"  

He says "Well considering you're only open for another 2 minutes, I figured I'd take matters into my own hands."  And with that he gently pushes my hands away and grabs his cock with his right hand.  With his free left hand, he starts to gently squeeze my right breast through the bra.  

OK... I'm thinking I kinda like this.  No work on my part and that hand does feel good.  I know it's been a while since I've been properly laid, and Bill certainly knows how to touch a girl.  He's always been quite good at playing with The Girls.  So when I feel a finger, then 2 slip into my bra, I don't complain. Mmmmmm.... his hand is warm.  

Just a little deeper and Bill discovers a hard nipple.  His fingers close in and gently begin to tease then pinch (Damn he's good). Too bad he doesn't have 3 hands since my other nipple is now feeling lonely.    His fingers withdraw momentarily to go into a very nice squeeze of my entire breast.  And now I'm thinking of actually...

"I'm cumming!" he suddenly shouts.

The spell is broken.  I'm back to my senses now, and I realize I'm sitting in front of a man without pants who's grabbing his dick and about to shoot a load all over my new bra.

My new bra?!

"NOOOOOO!!!!" I screamed as I grabbed his prick which was pointed right at my nose and turned it aside.  He shot a wad over my shoulder and onto the desk behind me.  There goes the stapler...

His next shot lands on the arm of the chair.  That's fine - not my chair.  The third and final squirt dribbles on the carpet between my legs.

I just sort of looked up at him with a stunned expression.  I'm not exactly sure what just  happened.  I look around.  Semen stained desk.  Cum soaked stapler.  A cock dripping jizz on the carpet.  And me looking slightly ravished in a bra that's been pulled off me.  

And I thought this was gonna be easy.

When I finally came to my senses, I ordered Bill not to move while I fetched TWO rolls of paper towels from the back room.  I roughly handed one to him and told him to clean the carpet and chair, while I tried to save the stapler.  By now I was tired and grumpy, so the cleaning job was pretty bad.  And that's why I made damn sure to get to work extra early the next morning so I could clean up properly in the daylight.

Good thing I did too - I missed a dried up wad of cum on the shelf behind the stapler.  And Bill's cleanup of the chair left a little to be desired.  Maude didn't notice anything when she came in later, but I still felt guilty.  That is absolutely positively  the last time I ever listen to the lazy part of my brain.  

Unless it's convenient.



XC said...

Haha. Hilarious post. Keep posting!

Tom in NH said...

CJ - you had me at . . . "rythmically stroking him with just my fingertips." LOL

Unknown said...

should have used the spit technique you wrote about

cj said...


I thought about it. Been looking for an excuse to try it!


Anonymous said...

CJ i think any guy would be in seven heaven if you had done it to them, its quite naughty... :)

JustJoe said...


Desk blotter.....DESK BLOTTER!!!!

jd said...

I bet you look great on those tight jeans!!!

Anonymous said...

Best story in months.

Anonymous said...

Hi CJ,

I'm curious, what did you charge for a self serviced quickie handjob with touching?

Keep these stories cuming...

Anonymous said...

CJ - May I ask that you please finish the sentance: "And now I'm thinking of actually..."

Anonymous said...

Who does a place like yours even need a stapler for? Just to keep up appearance?

cj said...


I don't remember asking him for anything in particular, but he did hand me some cash that I didn't even bother to count. You would be surprised how often I do that with some Regulars since they tend to tip the exact amount each time.

We need a stapler just like any other business needs a stapler. And tape. And paperclips. And pens.

What was I about to say???? Let's just leave that to your imagination...


Anonymous said...

This was a great story. I was aroused, disgusted, confused, amused and laughing my ass off all at once.

Advizor54 said...

When I play with "friends" via Skype I'm always prepared with my clean-up kit, but sometimes, nature takes over and gives the launch an extra boost and suddenly you are washing down walls and starting a load of laundry. Nice to know I'm not alone.

Great story!

Shannon Rae said...

Love to hear that you don't take kindly to stragglers that come in so close to closing the shop down. The fact that you were kinda rude to him, by customer service standards, is great! I wondered if that ever happened, that you would make a guy beg for it. I should have known. I mean, men are men, he had his heart set on jizzing with you, he was going to beg for it if he had to.

Mike said...

Well I am kind of interested with the story of your first year working in the business or the first time you put a smile to a man's face. Wouldn't that be an interesting story.

Anonymous said...

A little off topic, but the 'self service' part puzzles me.. I know it shows up on porn films but it'S the last thing in the world I want to do under the circumstances is 'do it myself'. That seems to defeat the whole point of the encounter.

Does this actually happen often?


Big Dan said...

"His fingers withdraw momentarily to go into a very nice squeeze of my entire breast. And now I'm thinking of actually..."

what-what-what - actually what?

Anonymous said...

when did they start building indian casinos in pa. how far are the poconos from allentown or reading?

HM said...

Too damn funny. I just stumbled upon your blog and this is great stuff. Your stories are book-worthy.