Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Cindy's First Day

Cindy is 5 months pregnant.

How's that for a starter? That pretty much sums up how her first day back at work went. Talk about an ice breaker. I figured things would be awkward (to say the least) since I was scheduled to be alone with her that first shift, but boy let me tell ya - nothing breaks the ice better than a good old baby out of wedlock.

Since she just spent 5 months in jail, the nearest I can figure is that she must have gotten knocked up on the drive over. Turns out she just started dating this guy a couple months before she went to jail. Personally, I was suprised to hear that she actually kept a guy around for a whole 2 months! Cindy's the kinda girl to fuck 'em and leave 'em. Well, to be more accurate, Cindy is the kinda girl to:

1) fuck 'em
2) rip 'em off
3) leave 'em.

And in case you're wondering, yes - she's starting to show. She's got the baby bump and swollen breasts, which is funny because now her implants actually look even more fake than before. I imagine that she's only got a month or 2 left before no one will want a nude option with her, but if you like them big old fake titties, then Cindy's the girl for you.

She's the one I talked about a while ago who got a Sugar Daddy to spring for implants. Then a month later she dumped him. If I remember correctly, I think that poor guy got to see his investment maybe twice before he got ditched. That's Cindy for ya.

I imagine there's gotta be some pervs out there that would get turned on by a pregnant girl. Cindy managed to do 2 customers that first shift - both topless. I guess they weren't looking at her belly. She said she'll keep going till customers start turning her down. I'm still waiting to see if some guy pays her to cum on her belly.

As you can tell, I'm terribly amused by all this. But don't confuse my amusement with forgiveness. She's still a lying, cheating, skank. But she used to be my best friend and being around her turned out to be almost as comfortable as the old days.

Some of you probably can't believe that I can forgive the theft of $2500. I haven't - it's just that after time it just doesn't seem that important anymore. Besides, where else am I gonna find a girlfriend who feels comfortable enough to blow her boyfriends in front of me while we all sit around watching TV? That kinda friendship is priceless.

Don't worry though - I'll still keep an eye on my wallet.


p.s. I will be accepting Babies-r-Us gift certificates for the "Cindy's lil Bastard Fund." Please give - this poor kid is gonna need all the help he can get!


Anonymous said...


O shit! Wow! I bet there will be some wild stories to tell....

RIV said...

just wow.

she sorta reminds me of an ex girlfriend.

she performs in front of you and THAT is why you still have her as a friend?

ok. I'll buy that. you must be a voyuer at heart.

Anonymous said...

Where can I drop one of those gift certificates off . . .

Anonymous said...

I just hope she has quit the drugs/drinking during the pregnancy. Chances are she hasn't though...

cj said...

Dear Reflex,

Well, she was clean for at least 5 months! However, I know she's gone out to a bar at least once. Swears she had "a" beer and that's it. We'll see.

Dear Anon,

You can actually send electronic gift certificates to my e-mail address and I can print them out and give them to her. And this wouldn't be the first time The Business has hosted a baby shower! LOL


mommasboy said...

Lots of guys are into the preggo thing, just do a google search on 'pregnant whores' and you'll see what I mean. There was even a whole video series called 'ready to drop'.

FWIW - I'm pretty sure that her willingness to have sex with you in the room has little to do with you personally. Girls like her don't care who's in the room, not that there's anything wrong with that.....

Tom Moran said...

"Since she just spent 5 months in jail, the nearest I can figure is that she must have gotten knocked up on the drive over."

That is beautiful. You are a very funny writer. Someone's going to make a movie out of this blog -- and I'm hoping it's me. :)

Anonymous said...

maybe cindy was banging a screw
at the jail.

Lots of female prisoners get it on with
guards for access to drugs, perks,

Anonymous said...

Banging a screw? Hardware don't quite work that way.

cj said...

Hey Tom,

"Happyendingz: The Motion Picture!"

I told Trina what you said and she wants to be played by Jennifer Love Hewitt. I want to be played by Lindsey Lohan. Partly because she kinda looks like me (with smaller breasts), but mostly because she's like this total party girl!

We talked about it and agreed that Madonna would be perfect for Audrey - an aging skank who still thinks she's sexy! LOL


Thorn said...

CJ, I am sure that Cindy is, or will be shortly, collecting said contributions directly.

It is generally believed, and probably not without merit, that individuals who find pathways to easy profit frequently return to trod those pathways again and again. Even when those pathways come with negative consequences [true for both men and women who provide and indulge in this thing so many refer to as a "hobby"].

In other words, while not completely impossible it is difficult for a leopard to change its spots.

I have not yet heard in the back channels the beating of the tom-toms telling of a full service provider in an MP in your neck of the woods. Time will tell. :)

And, as always, wishing well...

grub said...

This is awesome. The only way this woman could be any trashier is if she rode in on the back of a mule that was on the back of a monster truck.

cj- I'll write a script. There really is a film here.


Anonymous said...

I gasped out loud after reading the intro. (Great writing as usual by the way) The poor, poor baby... I suggest secretly leaving a wallet out in the open filled with adoption literature.

mark said...


Yikes! 5 months pregnant would not be top of list of criteria for an erotic masseuse. And how does one, politely, let the mother to be know that they'd prefer a less fertile masseuse?

Thorn said...

Mark, you'd be amazed. There is a whole niche market for pregnant providers. Don't even get me started on the whole lactating thing. I don't pretend to understand it, but I don't pass judgement either. Its not like my walls aren't made out of glass. :)

As to your question about how to tell the house you want another masseuse. I've always found the best way is to very politely, but with equal assurity, let the manager know - outside of ear shot from the provider - you aren't totally happy and would like to see someone else.

The majority of the time they will either accommodate you or tell you no one else is available just now. This is why you make your request outside of earshot from the provider, because if she turns out to be your only choice that day you may have second thoughts about it and decide to see her regardless.