Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Questions and Answers #5
Hey guys! I know I've been bad with the comments lately, so I'm gonna make it up to you with another Q&A. Also feel free to ask whatever questions you want in this post and I'll get to them this week - I promise. Some of these questions go back a couple of weeks to my escapades in Audrey's office chair, so you may have to go refresh your memory...
Little Red said...
That's just nasty. I wonder what you'd find on Audrey if you turned on the spotlights!!!
Jizz stains are just a typical occupational hazard in The Business. That's one of the reasons why I don't like topless sessions - there's always the danger of getting oil or semen on your pants. Now If I'm pissed at someone, or just in a jokey kinda mood, I won't tell other girls if they've got jizz stains on them after a session.
I'm surprised you let a customer (friend or not) slide his lubed up member around that close to not one but two possible entry points. Even if he really didn't mean it, with all the lube all it would take is a slight mistroke and he would be in there.
I think I answered these questions adequately with my last post. The reality is that once you're in position to slide in between the butt cheeks, it's actually not that easy to bend an erect dick 90 degrees for insertion. The thigh release is different - the danger of insertion is higher, so that's why I'm more cautious about who I offer it to.
You should have let him come in your cheeks and then sat down.
This comment made me spit out my drink. Now THAT would have been hilarious!
"We played with the idea of me lying on the desk spread eagle with my head hanging over the edge so we could try an upside-down breast release."
Gee- and to think the last post was about spring cleaning and dust.
I'm sorry guys - I sometimes forget that I'm supposed to be giving away secrets about The Business. But I thought the condom story was kinda funny.
so...have you ever had a slight mistroke on a butt release?????
No, but some customers have had real problems trying to get the position and angles just right to make it work. There's nothing sadder than a middle aged guy with a small dick who doesn't exercise try some exotic position he saw in a porn movie - and fail.
Feel like answering a few questions?
1. Do you have any female customers?
Yes - they are all local women who come in for therapeutics.
2. Do you like sports?
All major league sports including Nittany Lions football. Everything really except soccer. That's not a real sport.
3. Ever gotten pulled over and used the 'girls' or anything else to try and get out of a ticket?
Nope - been ticketed just like everyone else. But I have used them to avoid cover charges at bars and clubs.
4. Jay-zee or Eminem?
5. Any customers ever not been able to get IT up?
Happens quite a bit - especially with the older men. But it doesn't necessarily mean the guy can't cum. I have a special technique I use to make that happen with the problem guys.
6. What's your record for most Happy Endingz in one day?
I think the record is 20-25 or so in one day. This was a while ago when the economy was booming and everyone had cash. I was working a double on a Saturday and it was just non-stop customers. But back then, 15 - 30 minute sessions were more popular.
Dear Wise and Knowledgeble CJ
You've mentioned before about online dating. I know you didn't use free sites but i cant find any apart from flirtomatic. I'm not looking for love just fun. ccan you help?
Sorry - been off online dating for a while now. And even then it was mostly those pervy sugar daddy/baby type. Will never do that again!
Btw great post did Audrey ever come close to finding out? Or ask you who spilt tipex on her keyboard?
LOL - Audrey NEVER found out about her keyboard!! To this day I chuckle to myself whenever I see her using the computer.
Hey CJ, my friend got a happy ending head from a massage parlor for a 30 dollar tip. He paid 60 for a hour then a 30 tip and got sucked off. So should I expect the AMPs around here to be that cheap, or should I expect this to be a special case? This is the west coast BTW, I guess the regions make a difference.
Wow that's cheap. But it really depends on what part of the country you're in. Around here, full service sessions probably start around $150 for a BJ. And with the economy in the toilet, everyone's had to lower their prices. Heck, we had to!
CJ why do you do ass releases without a condom? That shit can give you herpes, and if a "slip" were to ever occur and he entered inside of you then you'd be at risk for a lot worse. I mean what if they lost themselves in the moment and decided to just stick it in there? Bag your clients up, be safe!
Never used a condom for that. But I do tell the guys to come on my back instead of directly on my ass just because of that.
Condoms are something we DO NOT keep at the business. Customers who do chose to use one (usually a clothing fetish of some kind), have to bring them and also leave with them. Can't afford to have any condoms in the trash.
DEFense CONdition goes the other direction FYI. DEFCON1 is highest level of alert.
That was a total blonde moment on my part! I stand corrected.
Little Red said...
If you no longer worked as an erotic masseuse, what would you do?
You mean apart from owning my own tanning business? Well, the bartender gig has been OK so far. I've managed to do a couple nights so far at a friends place. I could imagine doing that a while, but I wouldn't want to make a career out of it.
Normally this kind of crap is going along with local election year politics. Have any 'family values' clients that you need to flush out?
We get local (and not so local) politicians, police, and even church leaders every now and then. But it's sort of an unwritten rule that you NEVER reveal what goes on with these guys. It's one of the reasons why I wanted to start an anonymous blog about The Business - just so I would have an outlet for those stories.
Unfortunately, I don't think I have any current Regulars I can rat out if I need to!
Does your boss read what you say about her? LOL. If so, what does she say about it?
OH GAWD NO. Are you kidding? Audrey would have fired my ass a long time ago. Only Trina and Cindy know about it, and they don't mind what I've said so far.
I'm curious if anybody knows of a blog written by somebody who frequents massage parlors and writes stories about it. I love this blog, (CJ - well done), but would also enjoy reading the other side of the sensual massage experience. Thanks for any info.
I think some of you guys out there can answer this question. Feel free to plug your blogs here!
So how many different guys are you in love with enough to take facials from?
I knew you guys would ask that... Believe it or not, there has only been a grand total of 3 customers who have been granted this special favor. I've been asked numerous times, offered generous tips, and even 1 kind gentleman who graciously offered to clean me up afterwards - with his tongue.
Now the key word here is "granted." I don't know how many times I've gotten it on my face unexpectedly from a customer who hadn't jerked off in a month. Yuck.
But for the 3 customers that I can honestly say I love enough to do this for, it was never for money but for something else. Like a "thank you" for some favor they did for me.
"Cookie"? is this a term in the business?
That's MY term. LOL. Cindy calls it her "Grrrrly Grl."
Aren't you afraid that with the butt or thigh release semen might get loose and end up in your vagina, causing a pregnancy/STD scare? As an escort, I sometimes offer the "butt release", but I'm very careful that it's on a part of my ass where the sperm couldn't possibly drip down anywhere near my vagina or my anus.
Oh I'm aware of that. So that's why I direct the guys to shoot for the small of my back. I once had one asshole who deliberately aimed for my hair. I blacklisted him after that.
is Rent Money enough for you to agree to take a facial shot?
Nope. I've had Rent Money offered, but it's just not worth it. I consider facials more a "treat" for guys - both at work and in my private life.
I don't know what it is but something about your billfold makes me want to swallow your jizz. Must be love.
There is something sexy about a large billfold.....
Besides for things to accidentally slip in, things would need to be lubed up. And it's not like you're wet or anything right...
Oh Gawd no. There is no danger of me ever getting wet and messy from a butt release. Ya ever have a guy basically dry humping your rear end? It's not exactly a turn on.
CJ. I have been to a Asian massage but for some reason get really nervous and cannot get an erection until she is actually starting the release. With the amount of touching that happens and my reaction (lifting butt up when she is in the area, etc..) I feel really good but no stiffening. How often does this happen to you? Is it frequent? I really notice it when I am nervous and develop shrinkage. :( When I am at any other massage (non sensual) sometime I get an erection. When she leaves I try to get it going before she returns. Any advice? Any recommendations on how to relax so when its "turn over" time I can show I am ready to begin?
It happens more often than you think. The key (and I tell this to everyone who has problems) is to relax. Guys get too nervous over-thinking their happy ending. Just relax, shut your mouth, think of happy things, and let us do our job. You're overly concerned to the point that you're trying to get the hand release started without your masseuse. It's her job, and believe me - she won't be shocked if you're a little slow to get excited.
Well I hope you guys found Q&A 5 enlightening. Please feel free to throw any any random questions in the comments section, and I'll promise to get to them later this week.