Thursday, May 27, 2010

Questions and Answers 5 - THE SEQUAL

Well I promised to answer ALL of your questions this week, so here's part 2 of Q&A!

Hey CJ. Follow-up question. How can you get a guy to cum without getting him hard?

It's not that different from milking a cow. Just because a guy's not hard doesn't mean he can't cum. So if I gently work the bundle of nerves along the end of the shaft with both my thumbs, I can sometimes get passed a limp dick. Some guys with ED are just the opposite and require lots of pressure and rough handling. In those cases I sometimes end up kneading the dick like a piece of playdoh.

Anonymous said...
Could you tell us your other facial story as well as the one about getting cum in your hair

I'll save these stories for a future post. I could write a book just on men's obsession with bodily fluids. For some guys it's all about leaving them in interesting ways in interesting places.

bluekerton22 said...
How many people follow your blog (if you know)?

Well this blogspot website tells me that 74 people "follow" my blog - whatever that means. But my techno-nerd tells me that I get about 1500 visitors per day. Now if they were all paying customers at The Business, I would be able to retire in about a week! (But boy would my arms be tired).

I'd love to hear more stories about 'favors' you've traded with any friends or clients. You wrote a post on it a while ago. Thanks!:)

This would make for an interesting topic. I remember the post you're referring to and I'll try to tell one of those stories next week. Interesting thing about handjobs - sometimes they can be bartered just like any other item.

GC85 said...
Okay questions. If you dont mind answering what was you childhood dream job?
Movie star. Not the porn kind either.

What car do you drive?
Full size pickup truck. For some reason, I just can't stand driving little tiny cars. It's awful on gas mileage, but I'm invicible in the snow.

What was your youngest customer?
That I will admit to? Probably 20 - and that was because he lied. As policy I won't do anyone less than 21. We'll throw out anyone younger.

Have you ever had any sort of sexual relationship with a girl? or a 3some?

Except for the fake stuff we do during a double session, the answer is no. But I have literally sat next to Cindy while she was fucking or sucking a customer or sugar daddy. Does that count?

What is your fetish?
Shoes. I totally get off on shoe shopping.

Dream holiday?
Hawaii!!!!!! Because it's like the Caribbean, but I can understand everybody.

Dream car?
Ford F350. For no reason other than - BECAUSE.

When you do a facial do you jerk the guy or does he do all the work himself

You guys and your facial questions! Guys have told me that it's more of a turn on when they do it, so I'm hands off. But maybe I should start taking matters into my own hands because you guys don't know how to aim!

Anonymous said...
1. If Ben Roethlisberger were a client of yours, would you sell your story to Inside Edition for $10,000? $50,000? $100,000??

Funny you should ask... For that loser I'd sell my story for $5. Anyway, it's sort of the erotic masseuses version of hitting the lottery - big celebrity client and we become the next Bombshell Magee.

Well, I've had my share of famous people come through here (no pun intended) and unfortunately no one has ever asked me for a story. However, their loss is your gain cause now I can tell those stories here!

2. Would you let someone take a cell phone pic of your hand on their member or would that cost extra?

I've done this with customers I like for free. As long as you can't see my face, or identify The Business, I'm OK with it.

3. Do you do private parties? Could a group of 5 guys hire you to get naked, hang out for an hour and give out HJ's?

I've never been asked, but I have girlfriends from other places that have. It helps if you're full service too cause it's never a HJ party. I had 1 girlfriend who used to strip for a group of cross-dressing men. She'd do a long, erotic striptease while they all sat around her dressed as woman, and jerked themselves off. She didn't have to touch any of them and made good money!

4. Do you have a dream to be something else besides a Massage Therapist someday? It's obvious from your posts that you are a smart girl with charm and a sense of humor. It would seem to me that you wouldn't want to be ultimately defined by this. You're capable of so much more.

Come on guys... You all know the answer to this one. TANNING PARLOR OWNER!

5. What got you into this job and what stops you from doing something else?

Short answer to both questions - the money.

Anonymous said...
I do have a question and maybe you have answer this and i just have not read it yet but are these types of places hard to find. i do not want to go to some place where you walk in and it looks like some kind of bad porn set in the lobby and all they have is one girl who is older then my grandparents waiting to give me a wrinkely hj. not my cup o tea. i just want to go to a place to get a good massage and have a bit of fun. thanks. Casey

That's the nature of The Business, ain't it? Most places don't go to the extent that we do to look legit. Most are shitholes like you describe where I wouldn't take my coat off, let alone strip naked, lie on a soiled sheet, then let one of their skanks touch me. No sir.

Have you ever ended up in a relationship with a client? How did it go?

Yes and badly. It always ends badly. However, clients make great friends outside the business. It's when they want more that things go south real fast because they always think they can deal with what I do in a mature way. But it never works out.

What is the weirdo ratio?

Depends on the type of weirdo you're talking about. Harmless weirdos I'd say maybe 1 out of every 10. And that includes foot fetish guys. Freak of the Week is another matter. A customer who deserves his own post - maybe one out of a 100.

Given the possibility of weirdos, do you keep protection of some kind on site (pepper spray, bullet spray, etc)?

Let's just say that I'm protected.

Have you ever had a wife/girlfriend show up to confront you about doing a session with husband/boyfriend? If so, have you considered selling tickets? Cuz I would buy one.

Now THIS would make a great post! I've had this happen to me a bunch of times over the phone and once in person at the desk. In fact, let me get started on this story for next time...

A lot of interesting questions this time, so I really should do this more often. I have a couple ideas for future posts now, so thanks for the inspiration!



Anonymous said...

Hey CJ,
I was wondering if anyone you know from your personal life ever showed up as a client x.x

Al Sensu said...

You have more readers than that. People who use RSS or newsreaders like Google reader don't actually hit your URL and aren't counted in your statistics. I only am on your actual blog when i want to read comments or make a comment like now. But I devour every post.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever been out doing regular stuff and bumped into a client? like in the frozen food aisle at the grocery store?
Details of the facial expression on the client, please.

Anonymous said...

when are we gonna get it over with and make love??

Anonymous said...

Hey CJ, I love your blog, but sometimes I think you forget that your readers are not all just horny men (though they may make up the majority, haha)

I'm a straight female who just enjoys reading about all of your interesting and crazy stories. You're a good writer, too.

Just thought I'd let you know that we do exist :P Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

Do you give handjobs to your tech guy?

Anonymous said...

ditto what the straight female said - I am probably in the category of horny men since I do enjoy the sexy stuff you write - but you are a very gifted and witty writer. You should work on compile some of your blog material with new stuff and write a book. Your blog title makes a perfect book title!

Continuous But Plural said...

I would love to hear about the confrontations with girlfriend/wives!!!!! Post some of that drama, please!

Anonymous said...

just a tip, if you want to get out of the sexual arena probably not good to refer to your future business as a 'parlor'

Anonymous said...

In my craiglist surfing for massage parlors, all I can find in my area are Asian, of which there are many. I'm planning to try one at some point soon, contrary to your recommendations, but what else am I supposed to do if I can't find a non-Asian one? Is there a place to look besides craigslist?

Final question: do you have any idea why literally every ad for an Asian place in my area says "Grand Opening"? I find it very odd. There's no way all of these places could be opening at the same time, and it seems like a most unusual marketing gimmick.

Great blog. If you keep it up, I imagine you'll get a book deal. Happens with this kind of specialty blog all the time. You're an excellent writer to boot.

Anonymous said...

right on about the RSS i was gonna comment on that. you have a viewer base way more enormous than 1500/day. maybe you should save some of the stories you are planning to post here for the book, which would be another option of eventually getting out of the business eventually. lucrative too! you can make money off a book and still stay anonymous! i'm one straight chick who'd buy it.

Anonymous said...

My favorite massage place is one of the many "Thai Massage" parlors popping up all over California. Please put your Asian biases aside for a moment :-). They have a VERY clean environment, the occasional female client, monogrammed towels, a flat screen in the lobby and a few reviews on Yelp. There is even a sign that reads "no sexual services, anyone that asks will be sent out without refund."

I would say they are legit.

However, you can't help but notice that the entire staff is very young females and 95% of them are hot! Additionally, they offer $40 for a full hour! As far as a legit massage goes, I am officially a regular customer.

My favorite masseuse appears to have a crush on me as all the girls appear to tease her when I show up and she blushes and giggles like a school girl. Of course they speak to each other in code (Thai), so I have no idea what they are saying. But when you are the counter (where the manager sits) they are ALL business. They rarely even smile.

One time, I requested one of the girls by name. When were in the room she asked me how I knew her and she was very liberal with the placement of the towel. I was on my back. Yes, the towel remained on me the whole time, but not by much.

I've had at least 5 legit massages. Like I said, I suspect the place is indeed legit, but I have the sneaky feeling certain customers might get a HE on the down low. Call it a hunch. In fact, one time with my favorite masseuse my "member" was almost completely poking out from under the towel and she smiled and said, "is that thank you?"

Is there anything I could do to increase the chance of a HE? I know asking is a no-no (solicitation). I usually tip over the standard 15% - 20% ($10) afterwards. Would more help?

Your advice is appreciated.


Mr. Release Wanted

GC85 said...

Thanks CJ!
I've got so many more questions to ask but i think they can wait for the next Q&A. I'll Just ask 3 for now.
How many customers does the business get each week?
How many of them are yours?
How many of them are HE customers?


Anonymous said...

Hey CJ,

You should contact Playboy about buying your blog like they bought Club Jenna in 2006, then from that open your Tan-N-Rub and keep the stories of your customers coming(pun intended).

Anonymous said...

Hey CJ,

You should contact Playboy about buying your blog like they bought Club Jenna in 2006, then from that open your Tan-N-Rub and keep the stories of your customers coming(pun intended).

Anonymous said...

Hi CJ,

For the sake of scientific observation, have you helped premature ejaculators prolong ejaculation with regular visits to your spa?

If so, estimate the period that you have increased their sustainability.

Masters & Johnson

andrew said...

if you looking for a great Erotic Massage i know a site that can give you a great body massage and happy endings just go to in there you can find the nearest erotic massage Parlor. don't hesitate to try it because i already did, and i got satisfied and im sure you will be satisfied too.. http://www.EroticMP

Anonymous said...

I'll take a crack at some questions, since CJ remains mum. I don't think she really knows anything about AMPs, anyway, guys...

The places that keep "opening": mongers always want new, young girls. That mention in ads is to rake them in if they're tired of the regulars. You'll also read "new girls!"
Also, those are often the places run by the mob that CJ keeps talking about. They move managers and staff around and reopen the business every few months to fool LE and the IRS. Hard to make a case when people "disappear" constantly, or to audit a business that is no more.
One reason LE goes after the Koreans, in the name of rescuing "slaves", is really to grab all that cash stashed away. Cash business that closes every 3 months = tax evasion.
Finally, just like restaurants, MPs are popular businesses to open for asians, and they just pop up, that's all. But if you recognize the address and some girls, you know it's just an "opening" in name only.

Anonymous said...

CJ can't possibly help you with premature ejaculation. If you don't come within 2', she'll let you know about it, she said as much. Next!