Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Tale of Two Hookers

The other day I started telling a story about Cindy, and then I turned it all about me. I can be such a selfish bitch. So today I owe you one.

The last story I told about Cindy blowing a customer during a double was the last time anything like that happened. We've done a couple more doubles since then, but they were just standard happy endings with 1 girl doing the HJ and the other one teasing. But I am reminded of the time Cindy and I entertained a couple of Sugar Daddy's back in the good old days. I've mentioned this story before, but today I'll tell the whole thing.

Actually, it was my SD and one of his buddies. The buddy was in town and my SD wanted to entertain him properly, so he asked if I could hook him up for the evening. Cindy was game (hell - she's always game), so we made plans to meet them at their hotel for an evening of dinner, drinks and "whatever."

Cindy and I really got slutted up for the occasion. My SD (we'll call him "Tim" and his friend "Mike") enjoyed being seen in public with a girl on his arm. So our thing was to get dressed up and paint the town red. He wanted to turn heads, so I'd get all decked out in something tight with "knock-me-down-and-fuck-me" heels, then he'd take me to busy restaurants, bars, etc. At the end of the evening, he'd usually just drop me off at my car or home, and that was it. He never asked for HJ's when we were out - he figured that's what The Business was for.

This night was pretty much the same routine, except now we were doing it as a double date. However, Mike had different expectations on how the evening would end - and that's where Cindy came in. I think Tim's exact words were "Do you have any friends that could like... do him?"

So there we were - Cindy and I all dressed to kill. I told her how Tim likes to see me dressed, so she was similarly done up in a short dress and heels. Biggest difference was that she had taller heels and showed way more cleavage. In other words - sluttier (I still love you Cindy!).

We drove over to the hotel in my car with the radio cranked up - just having a good time. We got there early and decided to have one last smoke before we headed up to the room. So out in the parking lot, we lit up and stood outside the car listening to the radio.

A couple minutes go by and an older gentleman wearing a tie with a short sleeve shirt walks out of the hotel and towards us. He's staring straight at us the entire time, so we know something's up. As he gets closer we can see that he's wearing a name tag like he's the manager or something. Cindy and I stamp out our cigarettes.

"Excuse me, but I'm going to have to ask you two to leave." He looks dead serious as if he's done this drill before and we obviously know what the hell he's talking about.

I said "Uhhhh... why? We weren't doing anything." Cindy and I both looked at each other confused. "I'll turn the radio off," I said as I stuck my head in the car window.

"Don't play around." His look didn't change any. "I don't care what you do, I just can't have you two working here."

Did he just say "working?"

Cindy and I looked at each other. Then we started laughing. And the more she laughed the more I laughed. This was obviously not the reaction the guy was expecting. He starts to stammer "uhhhh... I... uhhhh..."

Between belly laughs, Cindy points at me and squeaks "He thinks you're a hooker!" before doubling back over in laughter.

Now I can't breath because I'm laughing so hard. But I catch my breath and yelled "YOU look like the hooker!" Then I loose it again.

Come to think of it, we probably both looked like hookers - although technically I was acting as a pimp that evening. And also an escort. I was a sort of pimp-scort.

The manager guy finally let out a relieved laugh and explained that we both looked like hookers - especially on the parking lot security cameras. When I finally calmed down, I told him we were meeting our "Johns" inside, then going out to dinner. He got another laugh out of that, but I guess it wasn't too far from the truth either.

Tim and Mike were waiting for us in the lobby since we had been delayed. Cindy and I told the story on the way to dinner. Luckily they found it funny too.

Dinner and drinks were fun. I checked in with Tim in the middle of the evening and we agreed that Mike and Cindy were hitting it off. I made it a point to act flirty with her in public so Tim would have more to brag about later.

We were all pretty toasted by the time we got back to the hotel room. Tim's an older guy who tires out easily, so I knew he would just want to chill out. We planted ourselves on the pull out sofa and started watching late night TV. Unfortunately for Mike and Cindy, there was no other room to go hide in. So they started making out on the bed by the light of the TV screen.

For the most part we ignored them. I got up a couple of times to get a fresh beer for Tim and myself. Each time I glanced over, they had switched positions and another article of clothing was missing. They thought they were being subtle by sliding underneath the sheets, but when a head disappears and you see a lump in the sheet rising up and down, you can figure it out.

Tim and I turned the volume of the TV up as they got louder and louder. Thankfully, there was a final grunt from Mike and the sheets stopped moving. A few minutes later, Cindy gripped a king-sized pillow and made a dash for the bathroom with her tiny, crumpled dress in her hand. Mike lit a cigarette.

Good timing - I was getting sleepy. After Cindy had freshened up, Mike said his goodbyes to Cindy and then Tim walked us down to my car. I kissed him goodnight before he handed me an envelope.
"Thanks girls!" he said with a smile and yawn. "I don't think Mike will ever forget this night any time soon."

And I haven't either. Cindy and I split the cash in the envelope and she ended up seeing Mike a few more times whenever he was in town. As for me, I love the fact that I finally have a place where I can tell this story in it's entirety.



Advizor54 said...

I love stories like this, they are great fun and show what a fantastic partner you would be on "date night."

Anonymous said...

Wow, you must have a different definition of "sugar daddy" than me. Seeing as he only gets a single shitty room at a hotel for 2 couples.

Kenny S. said...

C'mon CJ....I find it totally implausible that your SD only wanted to watch t.v. with you....and then Cindy and you split the money evenly even tough she had to blow the guy. You're really insulting our intelligence here. Just admit that you gave the guy a beej....nobody on here is going to think any less of you.

Joker_SATX said...

Good Story! Good Times!

Anonymous said...

Well, CJ did call her story a "tale".

Anonymous said...

Wow. Between what you see on the job and your blog readers' comments, you must have a pretty low opinion of men, CJ. You show some cleavage and boobage, a little humor and writing ability... and some would apparently leave their wives or cross the country for you. A girl who can give HANDJOBS?! The holy grail of womanhood!!!
What do they wanna know about you? Whether you like big or small dicks.

Most women are cunts, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I'm ashamed of being a man. What a sorry bunch.

cj said...

Anon and Kenny,
SD's come in all shapes and sizes. Since I'm not full service, I don't see anyone who expects it. With some guys it's all about sex, and sometimes it's about power. With Mike it was about image.

He wanted to be seen with a much younger girl on his arm, showering him with attention. That's what he got. And I made sure he looked good whenever we were out. But that was our arrangement.

Last Anon,
I don't hate men, I love them! Heck, men are the only kinda men I go out with. You're just assuming something about me based on the readers comments.

In case you haven't noticed, I pretty much let people say or ask whatever they want on the commnents. There are no stupid questions since so many people who ask them are newbies to the world of massage parlors.


Anonymous said...

I'm anon of 9/26/10 11:29 AM.

My last comment came across wrong, CJ, and I apologize. I wasn't so much inferring something about you as about some of your readers.
Being a newb is cool - we've all been there, and I kinda wish I could go back to those exciting days myself. It's the fawning and adoring praise that I was deriding.

Your blog is interesting, entertaining, and it also probably opens outsiders' minds to the massage world. Great.
But let's get real: all we "know" about you is a few close body shots and some juicy insights into the mind of a masseuse. Only a prepubescent boy would get all worked up about that (see the 1st comment here, not to point fingers).

Thanks for allowing all comments, BTW. I have been very critical and appreciate your not censoring other points of view.

And if after a decade in your line of work you're still able to ward off complete bitterness and misanthropy... my hat's off to you. I'm not a big fan of mongers in general myself, I'm sorry to say.

Question: how is what you do for your SDs not "escorting" in your mind?

Advizor54 said...

Hey anon of 9/26/10 11:29 AM.

Bite my ass.

Just because I'm not a bitter jerkwad and I throw a few compliments CJ's way doesn't make me a "prepubescent boy whowould get all worked up about that"

You want to hide behind your anonymous tag while deriding CJ and her readers. All you look like is a worn-out bitter man . You even admit that it would be nice to be less of an ass, "I kinda wish I could go back to those exciting days myself"

If all you can be is critical then why do you read CJ's blog in the first place? What makes you feel like your negativity adds anything to the discussion? Do you feel like you have to "educate" those of us who still enjoy the business and the people we meet?

I stand by my comment that CJ would be a fantastic partner. She's upfront with what she will and won't offer, and for her SD, that is just what was wanted.

I don't know you, I don't want to know you, but all I know is that you are acting like an ass. And I am pointing fingers, but just one.


Anonymous said...

Hit a nerve? Only truth hurts.

Love the avatar! Very SoCal... But it's not you, is it? I just choose NOT to use a mask, but I'm not outing myself on a blog about illegal activities (typing this at Kinko's) and... neither are you.

If you don't get that all we are here is words (obviously you don't, since you're trying to make this personal), then you just confirm your immaturity.

Advizor54 said...

Only the truth hurts? Where did you read that, some fortune cookie your mom bought for you?

I understand that this is all about words, and yours are bitter and cold and don't add anything. You made it personal when you attacked me and other readers who happen to still be happy when they (I) read CJ's stories.

"Not that I'm pointing fingers..." That is exactly what you are doing? Why? Why do you feel like you are in any position to judge my reaction to CJ's post? You put on this "more cynical than thou" attitude that really just makes me sick.

What makes you feel like your opinion is more valid than mine? Is it because you've spent more time with escorts, EMTs, and hookers? Does that qualify you to attack CJ?

Or are you one of the lonely guys who feels like you actually know CJ? Maybe you have fallen into the trap you deride? You feel a connection to her even though it's only "a few close body shots and some juicy insights into the mind of a masseuse." I know exactly what I am getting every time I come to this site, I'm getting interesting stories with an erotic twist. I'm getting some humor, some sex, a little titillation, and a heavy dose of fiction.

It's FICTION ya nimrod (said with a smile). She(?) writes stories, we read them, we write back, and it's all just a game. Don't you get that? It's all just words. It's an exercise in fantasy. That's why we are here. If you want reality, go watch Fox News.

And watch out for the Cute Girl behind the Kinko's counter. She's watching you through the security camera.

And, for the record, I'm not prepubescent, I hit puberty the moment I started reading CJ's blog.

(OK, enough time wasted on this one. Arguing in the comments is like engaging the homeless guys by my office, it's loud, exciting, but eventually, you both end up looking crazy.)

Anonymous said...

Glad you added that last paragraph! And I thought I had too much time on my hands...

Way to get all riled up about "fiction" and "words" (I said it first, thank you), BTW.

The reason why some hate "anons" (we are ALL anons) so much is that they want to be able to run to a profile and grab tidbits there to make attacks more personal. I mean, they do that when they can't actually argue with what you say (I did go a little ad hominem on your ass, but with that pic and your level of brown-nosing, you're just begging for it, admit it).

I have nothing to sell and I'm not interested in CJ or her type of MP. The collective you can take what I say or leave it. I hope someone can make sense of it, and see the other side of what CJ says, but if they don't that's OK too.
Rubbing people's faces in their own delusions is just fun in and of itself.

There's a word for a place where all dissent is silenced, and it's not "Happyendingz", since CJ can apparently take the heat.

Oh, and I dig your imagination, pal (or gal?).

Anonymous said...


"If you want reality go watch Fox News."

Absolutely freaking priceless, I always get a kick out of how clueless people that defend this type of lifestyle are.

Oh, and by the way, just because someone disagrees or makes a moral judgment that's not in favor of this lifestyle doesn't automatically make it negative. You seem to define negative as whatever disagrees with your point of view.

Hey Cj,

Super classy of you to lie to your new guy about what you do. Unfreakingbelievable, how do you sleep? Building up a lot of bad karma there girly.

Anonymous said...


I love your blog and i am a frequent customer in some of my local hj shops. i would love to show some of the girls this blog as i think they would love it, but my problem is that you post pricing on the blog. would you ever consider removing any references to your prices? My dilemma is that in my town we pay $60 for a 30 min and $85 for a 60 min session - a lot less than you charge. There is no difference in services related to session time. For that we get a topless massage with hj or russian finish. I typically tip my favs $20 and after 3-4 visits they let the hands wander below the waste and a few have allowed DATY. I know prices vary by region, but as a selfish perison, i don't want my favs to get the wrong idea an rase prices :).


Anonymous said...


DavidB said...


Thought you might like this comic:

Anonymous said...

Advizor54's Fox News reference made me raise an eyebrow too, but I thought it was an attempt at sarcasm. He's obviously more gifted in the sophomoric insults department.

Some people believe that they own the internet. "My Sky! Get out of MY sky!" (now THAT Jonathan Livingston Seagull reference just gave away too much!).

Continuous But Plural said...

First, great story.

Second, that Penny Arcade comic sucked.

Third, the anon trolls are soooo boring.

And finally, Advizor54 is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

More name-calling... When are you people gonna learn that no one cares what you think on the internet? You're a stranger addressing strangers. Never mind the cute little made-up handles and profiles.
It's like the juvenile "+1". Who cares?
Say something that others can learn from. Only (young) kids get a kick out of creative insults alone.

I've posted a lot on this blog lately. Not to blow off steam or waste bandwidth, but to counter the misinformation. Too many people seem to come here for intel and have been fed instead a very narrow view of the massage world, on top of lies about other providers and parlors.

CJ has every right to express herself, just like others have a right to call her on the BS, especially when it can be hurtful to others (escorts, strippers, Asians, etc).
Since she keeps the comments section open, there's now a record of the flip side to consider for anyone who comes here to learn.

I never came up with a handle because I had zero intention to become part of the little community of sycophants the "hilarious" Advizor54 is a leader of.

My work is done and the "troll" now gladly makes way to the "me likey" and "you so stoopid" comments.

And if you find this boring, well, just like 54 "adviZed" earlier... you don't have to read it, do ya?

Now back to the regular programming of speculations on CJ's bra size and soap opera-like stories and gossip.

cj said...

Going out on a date with a SD is technically escorting. No confusion there. But the term "escort" does not always mean full service.

Fiction????? I recycle a story from the good old days, and you call it fiction? I am shocked! If I had some new stories for ya, I'd be more than happy to break the tedium around here.

The the truth is that things have been VERY dull around here lately, so I have to resort to my fuzzy memory which may embelish a detail or 2, but still...

You really gotta lighten up. Everything here is all in good fun, and who are you to bad mouth someone who just wants to be playful? If you take your handjobs that seriously, then go start your own blog. I swear - you guys get soooooo weird about what you do with your dicks.

And "unfreakingbelievable?" Really? You of all people are truly shocked that I have actually lied about what I do to a man? That my friend is unfreakingbelievable.

Next Anon,
Are you kidding? Stop talking about pricing???? All I can say is that I'm sorry the girls in your area are earning so little. But that's the market for ya.

It was OK... not as funny as the last one you linked to.