Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Confessions of an Erotic Undercover Detective - Part 2 (The Sting!)

Hey guys! Sorry I left you hanging with that last story, but it was getting late and I had to get back to work. This last week has been crazy busy. In fact, I spoke with Audrey the other day and she confirmed that August has been our busiest month in almost 2 years. But more on that later...

Now when we left off, Derek had just shown me that phone number he had gotten from his masseuse on the boardwalk. I swear - I was seeing red. I sooooooo wanted to run back there and tear her a new one. How DARE you proposition a guy who obviously came in with someone. And in broad daylight!!!

Well, Derek calmed me down and got me to drop it. But I did vow to get to the bottom of whatever it was that just happened. Partly because I wanted revenge, but mostly out of professional curiosity. I mean - how do you advertise an illegal business through a legal one? Are they both owned by the same person? Is one a front for the other? Or is she an independent? And most importantly - if I wasn't there, would she have offered a happy ending to Derek right there behind the privacy divider?

That night before dinner, I had derek hand me that phone number. I *67 my number and called.

"Hello" said a heavily accented voice.

I've done this a hundred times before - it's my Ditzy Housewife routine. "Yeah hi. I would like to schedule a massage for today."

There was a hesitation. There's always a hesitation at hearing a female voice. "Uhhhh... you have wrong number. We no do that here."

"But I got your number from my husband who said he gets his massages there." I love to throw that in to confuse them. I seem to know what's really going on, but why would I know from my husband? She's probably wondering if I want a happy ending too.

"Uhhhhh... no appointment. We booked." I was disappointed - she caved way too easily. She should have just kept denying everything then hung up.

"How about tomorrow? Or anytime this weekend is good." Now I was just torturing her because I knew she can't say anything. I wondered how she was going to bail.

"Hold please."

Whoa - I wasn't expecting that. Usually they just hang up on me. It's the easiest way to tell if a massage parlor is legit or not - have a girl call up and try to make an appointment. Now for you newbies out there looking for an erotic massage - all you have to do is find a girl you can trust to make that call for you!

I heard some chinese chatter in the background and finally a not-quite-as-accented woman picks up the phone. "Hello, can I help you?"

Now it was my turn to be caught off guard. "Uhhhhh... Yes... I wanted to schedule an appointment please."

"I'm sorry, but we are no longer accepting any more appointments. I will give you the number to call to make an appointment."

Ahhhhhh... so that's their game. She gave me a local number and then hung up. Of course I immediately called the new number. And guess what? It was for the place on the boardwalk! Each place was a cover for the other!!!!

Derek asked for the number back so he could schedule an appointment. I told him to fuck off. At this point, I don't think he knew what to make of my enthusiasm for this undercover investigation. And it probably didn't help any that I immediately got on the phone, called Trina and told her everything. Derek started yelling in the background that he wanted his own happy ending, so I told him if he keeps that shit up, he'll be taking care of his own happy endings from now on.

And that was my undercover reporting on the secret world of New Jersey Asian massage parlors (or NJAMPs). If any more of you guys out there have something to add, feel free. In the comments last week, someone left a great story similar to mine.



Anonymous said...

CJ, I am a big fan of the blog.

I gotta know. As somebody who has seen a lot of penises, how do you feel about size?

Do you feel one way from a visual standpoint and another way about actual sex?

BlueLantern said...

LOL. That's pretty interesting. I'm surprised that they use each business to cover like that. What would you have done if they accepted your appointment?

Anonymous said...

I'm reading this going damn it is simple you just go "no sorry, this is kin's accountancy, your husband must have copied the number down wrong"

Anonymous said...

Great post as always, CJ.

I was a little surprised but I guess I could see the legit boardwalk place being a front for the other. The girls can kind of pick and choose who they feel it would be safe to propose the FS place too. What's odd is that they would offer it to Derek when he clearly came in with you. Pretty ballsy I agree!

After reading part 1 of the story, my initial reaction was that she was independent after hours. I had that happen to me in a Vegas strip club last year. Got some dances in the VIP room from a girl when then afterwards suggested we could "meet up" outside of the club before I left town.

Anonymous said...

This story sucked!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you are insecure about the superficial relationship you have with Derek? Maybe the cure for that isn't to lash out at other hard workers, but to make the relationship more secure - if that's even possible. Or just go on a date with me. <3 Dee

Anonymous said...

So, what's that phone number?

Anonymous said...

As a part 2 to my story-comment to your part 1: I walked along the boardwalk the day after my happy ending experience. One stroll along the boardwalk should have been more than enough, but I was captive in AC for a business meeting and was extremely bored (and gambling isn't my particular thing).

I walked past the AMP I had visited the day before and naturally glanced toward the window. Mind you, I was in the middle of the boardwalk, with much human traffic between me and the window. Yet, as I passed, my masseuse ran out onto the boardwalk and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me in for another massagee. I respectfully declined, it was good but not that good. But I thought, gee, she must have really liked me. And she told me I had a nice cock, too. I felt so special! (really? No, not really...) No phone number, however. Anyway, I thought that was pretty brash! She actually through a crowd of people. It must have been a really slow day, and yes that tip...

Btw, I only just discovered your blog and love it. Thanks!

-- Masked & Anonymous

Anonymous said...

You can hate AMPs, but you don't see any hypocrasy in calling the police about someone who does the same job as you?

TJ said...

I had to pay in advance and then I forgot to tip at the end. Feeling pretty guilty. It's an out of town place so not really a place I can go back to and make it up to her. Any suggestions?

Anonymous said...

CJ, ive been following your blog for a while now. You have a new fan. Its not the fact that you're in this business that got me reading. I love the fact that you have have character in your writings. you just speak out your mind. And i love that.

I went to my first 'massage' a few months back. I enjoyed it but then realised it was one of those AMPs that keeps their girls locked up. Now i know better.

Anyway looking forward to more posts. xx

Ms Smack said...

Thanks for part 2. I've been waiting for it and you didn't disappoint.

Regards from Australia

cj said...

As many others have said before me, it's not about size unless it's really small or really big. As for a visual standpoint, some are definitely more attractive than others.

Blue Lantern,
That probably would have really confused me since it would imply they are legit. Or just really good at hiding what they really do. But in my experience of sniffing these places out, they have NEVER accepted an appointment.

Well excuuuuuuuuuse me! Not every story has a happy ending. That's life.

Not sure what you mean. I'll lash out an any girl that makes a move on a guy I'm with. That includes skanks in bars, strippers in nightclubs, etc.

Next Anon,
I don't see anything wrong turning on AMPs if they're doing the sex slave/human trafficking thing. THAT'S the beef I have with them. As for other parlors, I say live and let live. You never know when you'll need a job!

Naaaah. Forget it. In high traffic places like that, they're relying on the one-time-only kinda customer, so if you didn't tip then, it's forgotten.

Ms. Smack,
G'day mate. I'm intrigued by Australia's open attitude regarding parlors. I can't imagine what that would be like to work there.


Anonymous said...

Getting rid of the competition, eh?

Please don't call this turning in traffickers or rescuing slaves... IF an AMP is really full of girls who can't go anywhere, the girls have invested and are paying thousands of dollars to be there. Bust the AMP and the girls will either be arrested for prostitution or be allowed to stay in country for the duration of the owners' trial, then deported. What they'll do in the mean time to support themselves is anyone's guess. They'll have lost all their money, they'll have been fucking stange westerners for months for nothing, and they'll go home in shame. Nice rescue.

I just remembered Yoko, that Japanese girl I spoke to (we had exchanged phone numbers at the evil AMP) after a raid against Koreans had mistakenly nabbed her joint. She broke down while telling me that she was going back to Japan, but that her girlfriend had been arrested during the raid.

One of the impetus for raids on massage parlors is complaints from neighboring businesses, customers, or competitors. All hypocrites.

Just threw up in my mouth a bit.

Those who call AMPs slave-houses and such have never sat in their car observing opening and closing for police activity, only to see the girls come and go freely and often dropped off by their boyfriends in expensive cars. They have never gone in to see the girls laugh and eat together in the breakroom (where the kimchee smell comes from in KMPs), walk hand in hand with customers, or orgasm on the massage tables while fucking some lucky guy's face (been that dude many times). They picture indentured servants in shackles, waiting desperately for The Man to get them out... lol

But I can see why non-asian competitors and angry wives and girlfriends would stop at nothing to put an end to all that. It's just an anonymous letter or phone call away, folks!

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's quite that rosey there but I agree with the general premise.

Do you truly think places with slavery like you say operate freely? Do you call INS on every Asian buffet restaurant too, or are they OK?

These women left their homelands for America and are doing the American dream of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps same as you. They provide money and hope for their families at home and every one who makes it here and isnt deported to face the payment of the debt back in Asia is one more to advance the cause.

OTOH, if they get busted out of America, maybe they'll do better prostituting in the middle east, I hear Dubai has great employmeent possibilites and good working conditions for their imported, actual, prostitutes.

Boycott and encourage boucotting, yes that is a responsible thing to do.

Turn them in is pure hypocrisy.

Anonymous said...

The coyotes who haul Mexicans across the border in dangerous and unsanitary conditions work for the drug cartels. So do the outfits who sell fake IDs near every large, urban latino community. Many latino kids, sons and daughters of those who made the trip and other recent immigrants, are in gangs or have friends who are.
Why don't you call in "Mauricio" the friendly neighborhood gardener who drives with a "matricula consular" and no insurance, or "Jorge", who kills himself washing dishes at your favorite cantina and runs out the back every time a suit comes in? You'd free them from a fearful life dealing with criminals and make room for some real Americans!

IF the majority of AMPs were indeed owned by the mob, run by criminals, and filled with young girls snatched from their families, held captive, and forced to prostitute themselves while US authorities sat idly, now THAT would be an outrage, especially given how many there are.

But cops and politicians know better (you can run into them in those places on occasion) and only take "action" when beneficial to them or under pressure from people like you, CJ. It makes them look good and no one cares what happens to the girls after the raid. They talk funny anyway.

EmpDan said...

Crazy.. the parlor forums love this.