Wednesday, October 13, 2010

WTF?

Holy Shit.

The last thing I remember is telling you guys that I finally got around to answering questions. Then I check in yesterday and discover everyone went postal on each other. That's what happens when I leave you guys unsupervised for a week. And to make matters even worse, I found a few highly uncomfortable items in the comments that I had to remove. Now before you start bitching about how everyone is entitled to their opinion, well let me remind you that this is MY blog. So there.

At first I was amused about some of the comments and I was fully planning on responding. However, I soon realized that things kinda got carried away and it wasn't going to be that simple. Now I wish you guys out there would stop using "Anon" because it makes it hard to keep track of who said what. So I think I'll address what I see as the general topics.

Let's begin with a story, shall we?
About every month or so, 2 town cops park at the far end of our strip mall. We call them the Blues Brothers, because they wear dark glasses and sit in a cop car. They show up to scare off customers for a few hours and to show the locals that they're on the job (personally, I think it's the guy next door that calls them). Business slows down for a few hours, then picks up when they leave.

With 2 policemen sitting right outside our door on a regular basis, they have yet to bust in and shut us down. So I sincerely doubt that the key to cracking "The Mystery of the Anonymous Happy Ending" was discovered by a particularly overzealous reader spending months surfing websites about handjobs. When he finally called the "DoJ" to report an anonymous girl telling stories about anonymous men at an undisclosed location receiving unsubstantiated sexual favors, I kinda doubt their reaction was "We hope he found all his evidence on the internet!" And honestly, the DOJ? Please. At least make up something believable next time.

The Search For CJ
When I first started confessing what a typical day is like in a massage parlor, I thought it would be funny if someone actually figured out who I was. I think I even offered a freebie or something to the first person to come in and mention the name "happyendingz." Boy was I wrong.

The first time a customer mentioned the blog, I was scared shitless. Suddenly the reality of it hit me - confessing secrets anonymously on the internet wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. I don't know which one of you Anons said it, but I don't think the readers are morons. Heck, quite a few readers have been in The Business since I started this blog. But I can honestly say that not a single one of them have found the real "CJ" because I have never admitted to it. What I have discovered is that a lot of guys out there have found A CJ, not THE CJ.

Turns out some of the local girls have confessed to being CJ to make a few extra bucks. I've heard this from friends at other parlors (more on this later), and a couple customers. Kinda creepy when you think about it. But if I find it creepy, I can only imagine what it must be like for all my fellow masseuses in the Delaware Valley. I wonder what they think of the whole "Are you CJ?" thing?

Promi$cuity
You know who I hate? Waitresses. Bunch of fucking stuck up bitches. The other day I walk into a restaurant and I ask for a grilled cheese sandwich. After enjoying my sandwich (and diet coke), she has the nerve to hand me a bill for my sandwich! I was like "What the fuck? I can get this at home for free. Where do YOU get off charging me money for something that I can get at home for nothing." That's the problem with restaurants - they would be a lot more fun if it weren't for all these assholes asking you for money. I love to eat, but it becomes demeaning and exploitive when money gets involved.

THIS is what I thought of that comment about promiscuity and money.

CJ is a Dirty Whore - or What Am I Doing Here?
I always find it amusing when people have critical things to say about me or my job. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I even appreciate the occasional "You should save your money and get a real job." Hey - that's the plan.

But what I really don't understand are the people who insist on defining me as a whore, slut, skank, etc. The purpose of this whole confessions thing is not to get your approval for what I do - it's to inform you on what really goes on in this industry, and hopefully give you a laugh at the same time. But these guys who are really angry and spiteful with me, it's almost like they keep reading and reading every week in the hopes that one day I'll end a story with...

"... it suddenly occurred to me as I had my left hand wrapped around his cock and 2 fingers up his ass while I whistled the Star Spangled Banner, that what I was doing might be wrong. And at that exact moment I decided to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior and turn from my wicked sinful ways..."

To these people, let me remind you that this bog is about happy endings. Heck - it's right in the title!!! Have you noticed that every story ends with a handjob? You get a handjob! She gets a handjob! Everyone who walks through the door gets a handjob! Why are you guys continuously surprised and disappointed? If you're really that sensitive and would like your stories slightly less handjobby-ish, may I suggest you try www.Disney.com.

And for those of you still waiting for my conversion to the good side, let me remind you that I am a cradle born Catholic. Hypocrisy is my middle name.

Haters and Lovers
What can I say about the guys who have nice things to say about me and blog - I love you guys! YOU get it. Read. Learn something new. Have a chuckle. Done. That's it. There really is no ulterior motive to this blog. I meet an interesting character in session. I tell you guys about it. And that's pretty much why I started confessing everything on the internet.

Those of you who don't believe me - fine. You try spending 40 hours a week in session naked with a stranger and NOT have something slightly peculiar happen. Those of you who think I intentionally lie to promote some sort of agenda - Great! I'm actually flattered that you think I'm a lot more than just some silly girl who gives happy endings for tips and then writes about it. But the fact of the matter is that I just write about what I see. And if it hasn't happened to me in this little corner of PA, then I know nothing about it.

And finally, to those of you who have actually paid attention to what I've said, taken notes, and have successfully gotten an erotic massage at a local parlor - good for you! You are the wind beneath my wings and the reason why I have so much fun doing what I do.

CJ

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really?!? You'll stick two fingers up my ass? I'm gonna call the DoJ to get your address so I can come see you!!

Advizor54 said...

I'm a lover, not a fighter, and you always make me smile with your writing. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

OMG CJ the comments on that last post were EPIC! I think you kick a metric fuckton of ass so PLEASE don't ever stop! Tough titty for the haters. ~Tragic

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to drop by to tell that I love your blog. It makes me laugh on a regular basis and I learn quite a bit from it as well.
You're an awesome writer. Keep up the good work!

And lol, the haters are stoopid. 'Nuff said.

-Dan

Buddy and Snowball said...

Keep up the good work CJ. Someday we might meet for coffee. LOL.

83_vsm said...

interesting blog... i will read it with calm soon :D.. i like it... well hope u take a look at mine and leave a comment

http://photovsm.blogspot.com/

now i will keep reading to leave my opinion about your story =)

Laura said...

Eh, fuck 'em. :) Keep up the writing!

Tom Moran said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tom Moran said...

When you wrote that "hypocrisy is my middle name" I burst out laughing. I love reading your blog, CJ. You always make me smile. Hope to see you in person one day -- which will probably be right after I'm elected Pope. And I'm not Catholic. But I can dream. First Pope to get a handjob in the Vatican. Wait a minute ...

Bluekerton22 said...

CJ,

You keep referring to the haters as guys, but I would bet they're mostly girls. That's my guess, anyway. Don't know if that changes your opinion of them.

One question: what percentage of guys ask for "2 fingers" you just mentioned?

Anonymous said...

The subject of "selling sex" came up in my ethics class the other week. In my defense of sex work and workers, I used you as my example of an intelligent, talented woman who is fully aware and in control of her situation, her job, and her life. I think you're a fantastic role model for sex workers in general. The demand for sex workers isn't ever going to go away, so it's really nice to know that there are intelligent, non-druggie, non-sketchy people out there doing it; you get huge props from me, lady. (p.s. I'm female.)

Al Sensu said...

I always like the folks who are upset ONLY because it's illegal.

You know, the people who are against prostitution because it attracts the criminal element. I want to scream IT'S BECAUSE YOU MADE IT ILLEGAL!!!!

So if you were providing the exact same service in a locality where it was legal, she'd be fine, right?

And had she been living 90 years ago, would she have been fine with drinking booze right up until the minute it was not legal, but then it wouldn't be OK with her?

Would she have been OK with smoking dope in 1936, but not 1937 when it was made illegal?

I suppose she never goes over the speed limit.

But I can assure her that among her best friends and colleagues are people who have, and continue to do illegal things.

She probably did everything her teachers told her to.

Anonymous said...

C.J. You'll never see the error of your ways until you are hurt in the way that you hurt others. You can mock and be sarcastic and be rude and bombastic, the bottom line is - you're young. Youth is wasted on the young, you'll know what this means one day. Maybe then you'll understand how many lives you had a 'hand' in ruining. You can laugh this post off, or insult me, or delete this, it's all on you - not me. You know that what you do isn't right, so you mock, hurt and ridicule others as a defense mechanism. You'll understand one day, or maybe you won't...

Dave said...

CJ,

Been around long enough to know "You get a handjob, she gets a handjob, everyone who walks through the door gets a handjob!" More's the pity, my wife actually wants to give it a try.

I'm a guy whose never been in a parlor and probably never will be even though I have no opposition to the business. I think your blog is really interesting and I am glad you write it. Sorry you have to put up with the garbage some people write. Thanks, and keep on keepin' on.

Anonymous said...

You're right CJ, there's no difference between paying for a ham sandwich and a handjob. Either way you're paying for some pig.

How's your bf doing? Tell him you're a whore yet?

I'm so sure that as a catholic, you have NOOOOO guilt whatsoever about the whole lying to him thing. I mean it's JUST a job. It's everyone else's problem that they consider it a betrayal. You're handjob Jesus, the cold world just can't handle you're abundance of love.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and just to add to my previous comment, in which I slap you down for being so stupid as to compare being a waitress to being a whore.

There ain't no fucking love sonnets written about chefs or waitresses.

Ain't nobody that gets themselves as emotionally involved as a person can get over preparing fucking food.

You really trying to compare the preparation and serving of food with the emotional and spiritual connection that people have with sex and love?

Shows how much you think about them. Apparently to you, sex and love is no more valuable than a well prepared BLT with fries.

Tell me again how whoring is not dehumanizing.

Reflex said...

CJ - Epic response, good job. I found the CJ thing, it makes sense, but it must be really weird for other therapists to get asked. Some have probably got some pretty polished stories to tell.

Anon - You might want to re-read the post. You seem to be reading what you want into it. And how does what CJ does ruin lives? Seriously, how does a handjob ruin lives?

Anonymous said...

Reflex...do you huff gas? Did you eat paint chips as a kid? It's not that freaking difficult to understand, honestly.

See, in most relationships, especially monogamous ones, it's generally considered "no bueno" to get ass on the side. Whether or not that's a realistic expectation is up for debate. What's not up for debate is whether or not it makes you an asshole to violate whatever promises you've made to your significant other, sexually.

Generally, a person is considered a selfish asshole if they're willing to get sexual gratification from someone who is involved in a sexually exclusive relationship. Why? Because sex and love are closely related, and, more importantly, LYING ABOUT FIDELITY, is pretty much the worst thing you can do to someone you're romantically/sexually involved in.

It's one thing to be open about you're need/profession to fuck/blow/jerk off anyone with 100$ and a place to host, it's quite another to purport to an innocent your love for them while sucking cock for $$.

Anyone that isn't corrupted by money can clearly see that.

As for whether CJ ruins lives...is it really so hard to personalize it? How would you feel if you found out that your Dad was getting off on some random trollop while your mom was at home, baking cookies, making soup, tending to the needs of the children, and generally acting in a maternal fashion.

And then along comes CJ, offering a HJ and some young tits for 100 bucks, so she can buy a tanning salon and never really have to work for a living.

All it costs is your Mom feeling like a total and utter fool.

Reflex said...

Anon -

To the first charge, no, I did not eat paint chips or huff gas. I'm a reasonably well paid software engineer, so I'm going to guess that I am doing alright intellectually. But thank you for your concern!

To the second point, yes, CJ is hypocritical when it comes to her boyfriends. And she is the first to admit it. She's done so many, many times. She even got upset just a month ago when a massage therapist offered services to her current boyfriend. I'm not sure what your point is in bringing this up. Do you expect to beat her up on this more than she beats herself up? She's a hypocrite. She admits it. And?

And as for your final point, what is the difference if he cheats by going to her, or cheats by 'working late' and getting blowjobs from the secretary? Or goign to the bar? Or any of the hundreds of other ways a guy can get laid outside of marriage? CJ has stated that she does not think much of guys who are married who use her services. But short of having some sort of national singles registry there is nothing she can do about that. Chances are the majority of her customers are single, but once again its unprovable. Not offering the service on the basis that some of her customers are likely married would be like not sleeping with guys you are attracted to because some of them are likely lying about thier relationship status in order to get into your pants.

The guilt and blame is on the one who is seeking out the sex outside of their relationship, not on the one who is providing it. The provider has no ability to prove anything, only the seeker knows for certain.

Anonymous said...

Hey you had me until the last part about taking notes and making plans for visiting a parlor. My wife and I have talked about it and she is okay with it, since she is usually tired what with the kids and all, and can't service me properly. The deal is hands only, not genitals or mouth or other ways of transmitting STD's. So I'd like an apology. ;-)

--Dee
(p.s. why not ask people if they post anonymous to sign with a distinctive name?)

DavidB said...

I don't know if Blogger allows this, but you might see if you can disable the Anonymous option under "Leave your comment". Anyone that does not want to actually login can use the Name/URL option, and force people to put in some sort of identifying name for themselves. Then others can use that name as a reference during the conversation.

Its what I use.

Anonymous said...

Reflex - I'm really sorry about the whole paint huffing comments. It was wrong, and I shouldn't have blindly insulted you like that.

I also recognize that I haven't really made much sense in my posts. I'm not really sure what has come over me. I suppose I'm a little jealous that my own ventures into sex work haven't gone as well as I hoped. Believe it or not the sex industry isn't as easy to get into as one would think, especially for people like me. I hope you understand and can forgive me.

Anonymous said...

God that anon in the comments who keeps insulting people who oppose her views...

Personally, I wouldn't really mind if my husband went and got a handjob from a masseuse. It's something Id want to know about to make sure no STDs enter our home, but that's pretty much it.
I am confident in his love for me and I know a measly paid-for handjob would mean nothing. However, I know lots of people who would think otherwise.

Seriously, if your man is seeking sex elsewhere, it's HIS goddamn fault. Go beat HIM up. Leave him while you're at it and find yourself a guy who will respect the fact you do not want him to get handjobs on the side.

Also, you said doing sexual favours for money is dehumanizing. Err, that's actually because of people like you who like to insult and beat on sex workers. Willing sex workers do think of themselves as human, I'm sure. Sex feels nice, massages feel nice, being told compliments feels nice.

These are all things people do when in a relationship and guess what? There are a whole bunch of jobs that revolve around this. Sex work, massagers, host clubs and many more.

Now, someone who is FORCED to be a sex worker, now THAT's fucking dehumanizing. No one should be forced onto anything. But someone who does it VOLUNTARILY, well, good for them?

Also, what CJ says or not to her boyfriends is her decision. And frankly, I don't blame her.
I would hate the idea of having to hide what I do to my husband, but I dont blame CJ for hiding her job.
There are so many people out there who do not respect sex workers at all (like our dear anon who called her a pig). If I were in her position, I'd probably lie as well for the sake of my well-being. Otherwise I'd get a whole bunch of people disrespecting me and calling me names all the time. Plus, like many others said, she already beats herself up enough about it.

Lol long comment is long. I'll end it now.

~Maria

LittleJohnnyJackoff said...

Oh Cj - you massage the prostate too! I would fall in love with you. Please tell us some prostate massage stories!!
Luv,
LJJO

Your EX-bf!! said...

'CJ' - as you refer to yourself here - I just found out that you're a WHORE!!??! I wasted ALL this time with a lying PIG like you!!!!! IT'S OVER. SERIOUSLY.

jim said...

Well, the conversation continues to produce some intelligent dialog (among the drivel.) I wish the anons would take on an identity and identify themselves per previous threads. 25 y.o. nurse practitioner, I truly applaud your efforts to live your life honestly and authentically, as well as your accomplishments. Would encourage you to lose some of the judgementalism, however.


Former sex worker anon, if that is still you in the last post, I want to congratulate you on your candor. I agree largely with Refexiv....the onus is really on the patron. And agree with all of you that sex is a whole lot more powerful emotionally than a good meal. This is why I have been staying away for the past year after a series of visits: the orgasm was so powerful that the memory of it inhabits too large a part of my consciousness. Really. Different from the empty feeling of one-night stands, but equally a reason to try to confine one's sex life to committed relationships. Bottom line, though, is that is how it feels from inside me, at the present time, and we are all different, and journeying through life in different ways.

Your EX-bf!! said...

I'm such a douche. Seriously, please take me back Batman!

Mark said...

Handjobs don't ruin lives. unfaithful or untruthful people who know they'd hurt their loved ones going for handjobs rin lives. Figure out the diffrence, Anon, and stay out of the comments. People choose the temptation, not the other way around.

Isn't there a Mcdonalds or a smoking website forum taht you should be complaining to somewhere? Again, thoes things, temptations, ruin lives, alot more then hurt feelings. go crusade somewhere else.

Kizzy Girl said...

@ Mark, A whore who is doling out handjobs at $60.00 a pop contributes to the whole unfaithful and untruthful thing, right? CJ is whoring around behind her boyfriends back and making it quite possible for husbands and boyfriends to get jerked off behind the backs of their wives and girlfriends, respectively. People choose temptation when there is someone, a whore like CJ, who offers to PROVIDE the temptation. Mark, you are a living example of the old adage, "ignorance is bliss."

Reflex said...

kizzy - So any woman who is single and willing to have sex with a male she is not married to gets this same criticism, right? I mean, sure my gf and I have been together for seven years, but I could have been fooling her and have a wife and kid she is unware of, so she is a whore and a slut for sleeping with me, right?

CJ has no method of confirming if her customers are married or not. Impossible for her to know. All single women, by your definition, enable men to cheat simply by their existence.

Anonymous said...

Reflex,

You really are a fucking idiot. There's a huge difference between a single woman willing to have sex with someone she's not married to and what CJ does. Cj's willing to pretty much fuck anyone with the money, no questions asked. It's not the same as a sexually liberated single woman. How fucking hard is it to understand? If you sleep with people in committed relationships, you're an asshole. If you do it for money you're a fucking skank and a slut. If you do it for money while lying about your "job" to your bf, you're pretty much human filth.

I'll call myself L. said...

CJ:

I'm in a solid relationship with a man I adore. However, we're both a little on the adventurous side, and I have a question. I'm wanting to find a place that does erotic massage, and I want to buy my honey a full massage and "happy ending." I don't want to be there, so he can enjoy it all by himself, but I do want to find a good place that will do that for him. It's a big fantasy of his, and I want to fulfill that for him. We have had a few threesomes and a couple of foursomes, but have never done anything like this (without both of us being involved). I'd love to make that fantasy for him come true.

Do you have any idea how I could go about finding such a place? I know I can't call up massage parlors and be like "Ohai, will you give my honey a handie? I'll pay well!"

Otis Day said...

@ Reflex. Any woman who has sex with a man, for money, is a whore. A prostitute. Look in the dictionary. That's what the 'sex business' is about, stupid. The BUSINESS of sex... HELLO!!???!!! I doubt you have a girlfriend, you're too busy wiping jizz off your computer monitor after you beat off to Tai CHi videos on YouTube. You loser.

Winkers said...

Hello CJ. I have never met you and I never will. I love reading your blog and
I have had many experiences with erotic massage parlors and providers over the years. I always enjoyed myself and I would avail myself of said services this afternoon if they were available in this one horse town I live in.
Screw the haters. Thank the all powerful for ladies like you. I am also interested in some prostate massage stories since I have never had the experience and am very curious about whyit seems to be so popular.

Don't let em get you down and keep writing please.

M said...

First of all, anyone who is in a relationship that wants something extra on the side is going to get it. It doesn't have to be someone like CJ, it could be a co-worker or something that gets taken home from the bar or whatever. Point being, it's not CJ's fault that a partner or spouse comes to her for services. If not her, then it'll be someone else.

I get a good laugh at all these people who think they are going to make CJ change her ways or attempt to scare her with threats about calling the DOJ. If you don't like what you're reading, don't come here. It's as simple as that. If it really bothers you that much, go apply to the local police force instead of acting a fool on the internet.

To CJ: I'm a 27 year old woman who's worked sex crimes and child abuse cases and now teaches first grade. While it may seem strange that I'd take an interest in your blog, I really do enjoy reading about different people and what they do. I follow many different types of blogs and think it's a good way to expand my mind and appreciate other people and their professions. Plus, you're really entertaining as hell. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and I'm not here to judge you at all. Please don't ever stop writing because of all these weirdos on here. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

If the moral police here would like to work on how the sex industry ruins lives; why don't you go hunt down the child sex slavers working out of SE Asia, South America, and the Baltic. How about the slavers and extortionist along the US border moving the illegal immigrant through and forcing some of them into forced prostitution to pay off debt.

Please CJ, back to the stories. I need a good laugh. The haters are always going to hate what they can't control.

cj said...

Anon, Bluekerton and Littlejohnny,
Alas - I do not do prostate massage at work. That is an example of poetic license. Not that I'm not asked often enough. Perhaps a couple times a month.

I do it for boyfriends (those that are adventurous enough and not afraid of becoming "gay" for having anything stuck up their rears), so trying it at work has occurred to me. I mean, I could wear gloves, etc. But in the end (no pun intended) I just decided not to add it to my routine.


Anon,
Thanks for mentioning me in your class! I think... Never thought of this nonsense in a political, ethical, or educational sense.

The things they're teaching kids these days...


Next Anon,
Shit - I see the error of my ways now. How many times do I have to remind you guys that I don't approve of married men coming to The Business.

But fact of the matter is I don't check for wedding rings, and I'm not in a position to throw out anyone who wears one. So I try to treat all my customers equally and won't pry into their relationship status.

If they insist on telling me, I'll usually change the subject anyway. I really can't STAND to hear guys justify why they're at The Business. Like it isn't bad enough all ready having to pretend that I'm sympathetic. I just want to give you a massage and get send you on your way.

So please stop going on about how I'm intentionally ruining lives. And you obviously have no clue about men if you think that they have a deep spiritual connection between love and handjobs. For them, jerking off is as emotional as farting. Both are fun and provide a sense of relief.


MyExBoyfriend,
Why you little prick! How dare you come crawling back to me after what you did.

By the way - I used to fake it with you.


L,
You came to the right place. Go to some of the earlier posts on how to identify a parlor in your paper or phone book. Try using the search feature and let me know if it works or not. Good luck!


Last Anon,
I agree - all this BS is getting boring. I do have a couple good stories for you this week.

CJ

rocky said...

I believe this is her story, it's not like she's killing people, she's doing her job, this is the job description and she fulfills it so. its not a good job at all, but its a job that keeps herself out of unemployment and keeps herself above water. Isn't everyone a hypocrite? She's no celebrity, shouldn't be people following the shit out of her and going to places looking for her. Her job is sexually fun for the customers and possibly herself. no reason to be all bitchy for her story, she's stuck doing what she does. She could always turn around and get somewhere different in life, but she feels as if there's some kind of "safe" ground there. -Rocky

Pornoslinger said...

Great response, CJ! I appreciate you sticking to your guns after all those nasty comments in your last post!

Anonymous said...

Just thought I'd leave my support. Loved this post. love your responce...

but especially loved that other 'failed worker' anon comment. just beautiful

show the haters for what they are.


love....

~luscious

Shahbaz said...

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Anonymous said...

Yes, to expand on what Otis Day said, any woman who takes money or any kind of compensation in exchange for sex IS a prostitute... and it follows that ANY woman is a prostitute.
In this world, there's just pros and amateurs, slinging mud at each other over turf wars, that's all.

Guys who get caught up in the argument are just castrated morons and bible-suckers. You love women or you don't, but you always pay for it. Whores are like Mc Donald's: cheaper and more convenient. Period.

Check out that high horse of yours, Reflex, he's knee-deep in bullshit.