Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I'm Back

Literally and literally (get it?). I started back at the Business just after Thanksgiving. Turns out they had been all but shut down for a couple months now. I knew what I was getting into since Trina kept me up to date on what was going on ever since I left. But my return isn't what's interesting - it's why I left in the first place.

For those of you who are new here, you can catch up on all the drama starting here. But to truly understand why I walked out in the first place, you gotta remember what bullshit I was up to the moment it happened. So start reading here. It's OK... I'll wait.

Done? OK... Basically the reason why I quit back in July is because I take my job waaaaaaaaay too seriously. I mean for a girl who gives handjobs for a living, it's really hard to do. You really have to try to pretend that any off this nonsense matters and that 40 hours of your week actually mean something. Let me explain.

I spent weeks looking for a girl to replace Cindy AND Audrey (remember them?). I mean, we lost 2 girls over the past 2 years and ran The Business without them. Audrey was a real loss even though I still think she's a lying, cheating, scumbag bitch. The problem is that she's a workaholic lying, cheating, scumbag bitch. So I knew replacing her was gonna be hard.

I ended up interviewing, I don't know - dozens of losers before narrowing it down to 2 girls who I thought might actually fit in. My main concern was personality fit, massage experience, customer appeal, and NO DRUGGIES. I'm not exaggerating when I say it took a couple months before I found some girls I actually liked. If I remember correctly, I think one was a plain girl with lots of therapeutic experience, and the other one had the right attitude, but no experience other than taking her clothes off in front of strangers.

Now remember, I'm interviewing for the position of Erotic Masseuse at a tiny massage parlor in backwater PA. It's not exactly Chief of Medicine in a big hospital. But like I said, I take my job waaaaaay too seriously. So imagine how I felt when Audrey called me up and said she hired a girl who was starting the next day.

Well first off, I was absolutely pissed off that she completely ignored all the work I put into this and stuck us with a total stranger. But it turned out that was just the start of the problems. When the girl (we'll call her Britney) showed up, she was pretty much the exact opposite of everything I wanted in a co-worker.

To put it in a nutshell, Audrey hired a meth addict that owed her money. End of story.

I guess she figured that if she actually gave this skank a job, then she'd be able to eventually pay her back. Look - I don't know anything about the drama that goes on around Audrey. Shit - I don't want to know the drama. But now I was in the middle of it, and that was why I walked out one bright and sunny day last summer.

Now to be fair, the term "skank" was of my choosing. Britney may have been quite virtuous for all I knew. But I do recognize a fucking tweaker when I see one. I mean Britney had bags under her eyes, needle tracks, and missing teeth. I don't know what customer in his right mind would look at her and say "I want HER - open sores are sexy...." I mean it was THAT bad.

So I left. In my mind, if I was going to hang on to any remaining shred of dignity that I had, there was no choice. It's not every day that your boss basically tells you that your job can be done by a fucking meth addict.

Turns out I was right. Shortly after I left, Trina said things starting "missing" around The Business. Then Trina said she had cash stolen out of her purse. Next Maude noticed the deposit wasn't balancing at the end of the night. And that was just the start...

The clientele started to change. A whole new crop of customers started showing up just to see Britney. In most cases it's fine and dandy to have your own Regulars, but according to Trina, these guys were just bad news. When you've been in the business as long as we have, you know what a customer looks like. Trina said guys were coming in for 15, 10 - even 5 minutes at a time. Sometimes Britney would take 2 guys "in session."

Of course it was all total bullshit, but she was bringing in customers and Audrey was making money, so she turned a blind eye to it. Then sometime in October, Britney was arrested on drug charges. NOT in The Business thank goodness. Finally Audrey woke up and realized that she was just a plea deal away from having The Business raided, everything seized as evidence and her going to jail. For all intents and purposes she closed up shop for a month. Trina said she was only seeing Regulars by appointment.

But I have to give it to Audrey - she can be pretty damn smart when she needs to. She didn't tell her sister to skip town for a couple months. Maude didn't go home - in fact she did the opposite. She stayed at work on a regular basis and gave the illusion that we were still a real salon. A salon without customers, but a legitimate business just the same. Audrey told Maude to supervise a "makeover" of the place. During the couple of months they were shut down, The Business got a fresh coat of paint, some needed maintenance, new carpeting, and even some new furniture. She just spaced it out very slowly over 2 months. Apparently Maude showed up every day to make sure everything went smoothly. Most days she sat there at work all by herself. Now THAT is a trooper.

And that's pretty much what happened while I was gone. But now I'm back and the goal is to rebuild our customer base. One of the conditions for me returning isn't just to hire a new girl or 2. I now have this sort of limited "partnership" I guess you'd call it. I get first say in some of the management aspects, and Maude is supposed to have the rest. Audrey will now be a "silent" partner. She still owns it, and collects the profits, but no more meddling in how it's run. What this may eventually lead to is me buying her out in a couple years. We'll see.

Now go ahead - tell me I'm crazy. I'm just happy at this point to have a regular 40-hour work week again.


31 comments: said...

Actually, I'm happy for you.


You have a say in your future.

And you have a long term plan to go into business for yourself, in a much less-destructive way.

Yes, you give handies for a living. Yes, it's only slightly illegal... but you have a good business sense, my dear, and THAT is hard to teach.

Go you. Go go go.

ABE-RDG said...

you know how you can be assured this is a complete lie: none of the hobbyist boards have mentioned this. these people don't miss a beat, and their favorite parlor going into this mode doesn't fly.

so, either this is no where in PA, at all, or its all a lie.

keep up your love affair, guys.

Lisa (Tantra Flower) said...

I really don't understand why someone in Audrey's position would even consider hiring an addict. No amount of money owed would be worth the possible consequences.

I mentioned in my only other comment here a while back that I have escorted in the past. The owner of the service I worked for sent me to a multiple girl call once. Basically there were three clients at a golf resort so they needed three of us. One of the girls was acting really weird and spacey. Then she purposely started an argument with her client over nothing just so she could have the excuse to leave early...I'm guessing to buy herself a rock? What an uncomfortable position she left me and the other girl in. We're lucky the men were decent people. Obviously, that was the last time I agreed to that type of situation. I know I missed out on a lot of money by refusing to work with other girls, but no regrets. As I said, no amount of money is worth certain consequences. Addicts are a ticking time bomb.

Anyway, glad you're happy. Please keep safe. And an early Merry Christmas. :)

Anonymous said...

Girl, we're all crazy so can't be be the ONLY one that's crazy. However, this is definitely a Happy Ending to read about. Well, Happy Ending for the year. :D

Happy Holidays to you and the fam (and my fellow crazies who stuck around reading CJ's blog).

(PS @ABE-RDG A blog's a blog. Someone's writing, and someone's reading, and we're all free to dream, if anything.)

Anonymous said...

I don't care if abe-rgd is right or not, I'm just glad you have written more! CJ, your writing superb! I read every post you had in a week! Welcome back!
I'm not a parlor kind of guy (happily married), but this blog is fascinating.


Anonymous said...


Long time reader, I operate/own a Gentleman's club (jiggle joint). started as a "Floorman" worked up to management. Same as you got pissed, left, came back(got a business education) and after a few years found yourself in the same situation you are in now. Not exactly what I wanted when I started but "professional pride" of a job well done got the better of me.

I started reading your blog to better understand some of my dancers (many in their 20's. Age gap.),and found myself laughing a bit at similar customers (we have hidden cameras EVERYWHERE to cover our ass so i do "see them")

As long at the end of the week you are happy and can look yourself in the mirror with respect keep it up... uh no pun intended.

Anonymous said...

So you left the "business" and did out calls for that? Sounds like you should have just stayed and not taken facials and gotten finger blasted in a guys bedroom where he sleeps with his wife.

MrMike said...

I am always very happy to see that you have added a post. If you are really back to the blog, then that is great news. I have read every word of every post and found your writing to be most enjoyable.

As for your work, I don't know as you need advice from your readers, but I'll just say that the tone of this post makes it sound like you are taking charge of your life. You sound like you are feeling confident and strong again.

Anonymous said...

This was a WIN! Point is that you are happy and doing what you feel comfortable doing. Kudos.

Anonymous said...

Good news you're still writing! I just catch up with your archive, and I have to say you're a really great writer. I hope everything goes well for you now that you returned. Good luck!

cj said...

Hey guys... Thanks for being more supportive than I thought you'd be. Stability is something I guess I needed. I was truly worried that you guys would hammer me for flip flopping on my decision and that made it hard to finally talk about it.

And for the one guy who thinks I'm lying - you got me. It's funny how a guy who hires a hooker once a month and then brags about it on the internet knows so much more about the industry than a girl who's worked it her entire professional life. My hats off to you and your team of crack investigators.


Miss Fortunes said...

Girl, I thought we agreed that this period of outcall was just industry "research"...I can't imagine anyone calling you fickle for being assertive, leaving a situation at exactly the right time because your foresight correctly predicted trouble, and taking Carr of yourself first. That's not fickle, that's survival. You would have been doing the same "research" during that time anyway, if the doors were closed...but with the added burden of having "told them so" and without the confidence boost of walking and meaning it.
Now...go back and read the posts you wrote full of self doubt and promise yourself to always trust your spot on instincts.

But, what's with the "hooker" language again? Love thy neighbor, even if she uses different parts to accomplish the same goal dear.

ABE-RDG said...

too little, too late.

mongers read this shit, and most of them see through it, which is why there's not much chatter on your on the forums. however, if you're gonna go for epic change stories, you'd damned well better hope that you art is about to imitate life.

it didn't. from philly to coal cracker, from jerz to the amish. no atfs ever disappeared and sure as fuck no spas went "legit."

an atf dropping, yeah, that might get missed but the retarded story about going semi-legit or some shit? you'd attract alot of noise for that move if only because the regs would want to know what the story was.

MrMike said...

"Flip flopping??"
I don't see it. You're not running for president, you're trying to figure out how to live a life, something most people struggle with all their lives. Obviously, there are some people who think they have it all figured out, but those are generally people who don't think.
There is a lot I love about your blog. One element is the apparent honesty with which you describe your own internal struggles with the impact your work has on your life. (Even if it were all made up, that would be a compelling element).

Anonymous said...


you quit for good reason, you were hired backf or a better job for good reason.

expect audrey to fuck wiht things, you and maude need to hold the line.

You are the general partners, she is the limited partner.

she stops by once a week and reads the sheets, thats it.

Journey Of A Phone Sex Worker said...

CJ, I think its great and I love that you plan to own the place. I have enjoyed keeping up with your blogs.

Dumbass who thinks its a lie, maybe her location is off, maybe its not. She is trying to keep her cover. I write a blog and what I do is not illegal at all but I still make sure to keep my identity secret because there are stupid people like you out there. If you don't like the blog don't read it.

Anonymous said...


I've been going to a legit place the last week or so and my masseuse is a very attractive woman who is probably about 35, I'm definitely into it and I am much younger and just finishing up college. She seems to be into me and has been giving me damn near erotic massages. I have been very sore from working out my legs. She has been massaging my glutes and rubbing around my the front of my pubic area. She hasn't touched my dick yet, but she has been rubbing right around there. She has even been reaching down the front of my boxers and pulling up as if massaging my hips but coming EXTREMELY close to my dick. Seeing as I've been a little nervous since this is a legit massage place, I haven't been able to get hard while she's been down rubbing around near that are. If I were hard she would have touched it on more than one occasion, that's how close she has been. We have a vibe going on that I read as her being up to the thought of a happy ending or even more if she were to give me her number. For instance today while talking, she talked about the guys she has been dating and said all the girls must love me.

My question is, if this woman has been working so close to my dick and has been reaching down my boxers, I'm wondering how I can turn this into a happy ending? Do you have any suggestions?


Anonymous said...

Great to hear that you're back. The blog has been a bit quiet so I've only checked it from time to time.

I hope things work out this time. Did the bad situation lose customers? ... I know that those of us who are savoring the sensual experience pretty much want to stay away from the crowd she was bringing it.

Looking forward to your new postings.


Anonymous said...

Anon with the friendly legit masseuse. Assuming you are draped, the next time, lose the boxers and see what happens.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, CJ!

Audrey's business had to suffer while you were gone and think she was smart to entice you to come back. I trust you're happy with the "cut" your receiving but hope you have it all in writing.

Anonymous said...

Is it legal to pay for a body rub, especially if they take credit cards?

Anonymous said...

Live the blog, just started reading yesterday. Well done!

the titfucker said...

I'm glad you're posting again, regardless of where & what your occupation is.

Small criticisms - the second hyperlink above is borked, and don't you mean you're literally & literarily back?

Regardless, I'm looking forward to more of your entertaining tales.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see you're back at the business, CJ. Seems like this is a nice step back towards normality and a set of well defined boundaries.

NYCapper said...

This is a very entertaining and informative blog. Someone mentioned this might not be in PA. Wish she was in MA.

Tom Moran said...

I think you should move to NYC and start your own place here.

I can dream, can't I? :)

Jay said...

CJ is an entertaining writer, no doubt. As for her location and to others seeking similar massages that have never gotten one before, parlors that do this exist in every major city in the US and most smaller cities too.

To find them, search backpage or pick up your local underground weekly magazine. Read between the lines and you will get lucky. Search through some of CJs older posts on how to signal your intent covertly.

Skip even trying at obviously legit places - honestly that is just asking for trouble. Either she risks losing her job and license, or you risk getting the police called and not being welcome back. So its just not likely to happen and if its what you really want, then you are wasting money that could be used actually getting HJs at places that do it.

Shannon Rae said...

Oh my fucking god I LOVE YOU!!!! I love that that is the reason why you quit you super smart bitch!!!!!!!

You will always succeed! I have to do a chart for you, I'll write you a private email...

Midday said...

hey CJ, I'm from NYC and I was working as a MT for half a year, wasn't licensed though, but I didn't offer anything to anyone and always refused to customers, except couple of times when I agreed to drop my pants off for a regular to squeeze my penis for tips (I'm a guy). I'm going to go and work again in a month or so and try to do HE for the first time. Can you give some tips on how to find out if a customer is trusted and really looking for nice relaxing massage or he's someone else trying to make your life worse. Any signs, precautions etc etc. I always refused to do something else but massage so I didn't care about this but now I'm really interested. Thanx!

nuru massage said...

Sounds like you should have just stayed and not taken facials and gotten finger blasted in a guys

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