Monday, January 30, 2012

The Derek Dilemma

Hey guys. I'm over my cold in case you were wondering, but that's I gave it to Maude. It's so bad she isn't speaking to me. She says it's all my fault for not regularly taking advantage of the 15 bottles of Purell she has carefully set on every flat surface of The Business.

But that's the least of my concerns right now. I know what you're thinking... "What concerns could you possibly have now that you're the co-manager and partner of a massage parlor? Why you're practically living the dream!" Yes, to the casual observer I may appear to lead a charmed life. But I do have my share of problems.

And my biggest problem right now is named Derek. Well, he's not exactly the problem, but more sort of the complex and delicate situation I've created with him. It all started a long time ago when he first asked me "So what do you do for a living?" Well, I kinda told a tiny little fib, then covered it up with a white lie, wrapped it up in an untruth, stuffed it down a deceit, and then buried it in a fabrication before burning it down inside an abandoned warehouse of fraud.

I told Derek "I'm a shampooist."

99% of the time, that has satisfied the curiosity of most guys. In fact, I swear I can hear a checkbox being ticked off inside a guys head after I've answered that question - freeing him to ask me if I have any tattoos or if I want another drink.

And that answer seemed to satisfy Derek - for a while. But now let's go back to to last summer when I walked out of The Business. Suddenly I was an unemployed shampooist. And you know what an unemployed shampooist cannot do? Go independent. Whoever heard of an outcall shampooist?

So now I had to explain to Derek why I had to go visit "clients" to make money. At first I told stories about how I was picking up a couple bucks a week by visiting my mothers friends at home and doing their hair. Believable. At first. But then as my appointments started to pick up, I couldn't claim that I was washing the same head of hair over and over again.

That's when I kinda sorta casually mentioned that I started offering therapeutic massages.

To my mom's friends.
And some of their friends.
At really weird hours.
Several times a week.

I had to dig up my old massage table from my mom's basement and throw it in the back of my truck! I found some of my old books from massage school and left them around my place for Derek to find! "Oh, did I forget to tell you that took a class or 2 in massage therapy a while ago? I mean, I never used it or anything. Except for that one time... I may have had a job... at a place... somehere... but it never worked out."

I kept this up for a while and right when it finally started to look like I was gonna get away with it - Audrey called me up and offered me a sweet deal. Fuck!!! Now I need a whole new set of lies to cover up the previous lies, and justify the new lies. How on Earth could I go from unemployed shampooist to co-manager in 9 months? Even this was a stretch for a skilled deceptionist like me. How could I convince him I was one hell of a shampooer?

Part of me wants to just come clean and say "Derek, I jerk guys off for a living." In fact, I've dreamed about that over and over again for a very long time. It would probably be the most freeing and stress relieving statement I could make at this point in my life. But the practical part of me wants to say...

"... Insert perfect lie here..."

And this is where you guys come in. I would love to know what the perfect lie would be. I mean, I can't even figure it out.

Honestly, I think the ideal thing is going to be something between the truth and a lie. A sort of quasi-lie or truthy-fib. I'm pretty good at those. Another option is what I call the "joking truth." This is where I actually tell the truth but as a joke. For example, "Why did Audrey put me in charge? Because I love to get naked and jerk off my customers - duh." This way I can always claim to Derek that I told him the truth and it's not my fault if he didn't believe me.

So can you guys out there do better? Points given for the most original solution. And points subtracted for each use of the word "whore." Good luck



Anonymous said...

Tell him the massage therapy angle turned into coming back to a
"spa"...but as a LMT. Hey, Derek, I need to make a living and it's a sweet deal.

From there you can start to judge his comfort level. If he goes "wow, i always wanted to date a chick that gives handies" you're in. If he starts in on the "what kind of massage place IS this" you can laugh and say you rub down old ladies and that one guy who has a bum knee.


Anonymous said...

Meh. Just tell him now. It's either now or later. Why push it off till later hell just be more pissed.

Anonymous said...

Why not tell him that a friend called and now you're co-manager of a day spa? If he asks about what type of spa, then try to gauge his reaction. Be careful about revealing your occupation as a prostitute.

I hope this has a happy ending.

Anonymous said...

As odd as this sounds, before you tell him anything, you have to come to terms with one thing -- this situation is not that weird, and you don't have that much of a unique situation here -- which actually might be the scariest part.

What you're doing here is nothing that thousands of men and women across the country don't do daily -- lie about what they do to the people they're dating.

'Dating' is probably the key word, as that's what you're doing, currently, but if that changes, everything else changes with it.

Are you getting to the point in your life where you want to settle down with a guy and start a family?

If so, that's easy -- just figure out if you are OK with your children living their lives just as you have without the benefit of you being honest with them about the choices you did. It's not OK to just talk about it somewhere down the line as "mistakes I made when I was younger" after everything was done. In fact, maybe it's not a mistake at all. But if you find yourself unable to talk about it, that's a good indicator that for whatever reason something about the choices you're making with your life are rubbing you the wrong way. Which, again, is not all that unique.

The thing about kids (and this includes close nieces and nephews, etc.) is that they are as much a part of whoever you slept with to create them as you, and as they grow up, they'll be impacted by both sides.

If you enter into this thing holding something back from the dude and want to carry things further than just dating/hooking up, then you're doing both of you a disservice.

If it's just a hookup and starting a family is the furthest thing from your mind, well, go for it. I spent a considerable amount of life enjoying myself and occasionally 'misrepresenting' things in the service of a strong dating life.

That said, when I wanted to move on... well, I knew. There were truths I could gloss over with girlfriends that were unpalatable with the women I was serious about. Trust your gut, and you'll be fine.

Anonymous said...

Tell Derek that Audrey put you in charge because of your business acumen- she needs you, and she finally realized you're worth more than just shampooing, especially after she lost you. Tell him that you and Audrey are trying to change the direction of the business.

The real question is the depth of Derek's interest in learning about your work. Is he practically an amateur sleuth or does he take what you say at face value? And really if you're thinking long-term walking down the aisle one day in the future maybe with this guy, there's all kinds of questions to sort out before you spill that your a sex worker. Are you going to put said business in a legally binding document (pre-nup), is he a joint bank account kind of guy, blah blah blah-- these things put him closer to learning the truth. How likely is he to really delve into your finances? Is someone going to review said business on google? (Don't laugh, it happens.)All of which determines whether you should go truthies or not.

I mention the long-term because you've just got assets, and what you tell Derek about those assets... is up to you.

And before you spill, find out his stance on the sex industry in general; I don't remember reading you comment on his opinions before so if you did- I missed that.

If at all possible, avoid lying, and completely avoid the lying as a joke routine- that one can haunt you later. Better yet, leave the sex industry and take your writings to a book publisher and make some real money off your talent- then you won't have to lie to Derek. Hopefully you have found someone you can be completely honest with and love deeply.

Good luck!

- Spot On

Anonymous said...

Tell him what you do. You'll have to tell him eventually if you stay together. Also, let him know he's the first boyfriend you've felt close enough with to share this information.

Anonymous said...

1) A perfect lie could be anything involving the fact that you know the right people... They trust you over other less reputable women and thought you were co-manager material. Not hard to imagine shady former co-managers pocketing funds from the register.

2) A bit of self-effacing... Maybe you aren't such a good masseus, but the owner likes how you helped our with other aspects of the business and felt your talent and people skills would better serve the business.

3) Let the cat out of the bag and start shopping for a new boyfriend. Who knows, maybe he'll stay. I agree with another poster that he's the first person you've told this too... But I wouldn't expect much positive from that reveal...but it would take a nice burden from you.

Anonymous said...

If it were me, I'd probably just tell him the truth, substituting "jacking guys off for a living" with "shampooing hair." The story is believable for a salon.

Big problem though, as a co-manager, he's likely to take more interest in what you're going. And you probably don't want that attention.

Anonymous said...

Depends on how much you care for Derek. I've stood in Derek's shoes. I dated a massage therapist for 2 years before she finally told me, and that's because I busted her, and she knew she was busted, so she confessed.

It hurt like hell, and we ended up breaking up like 8 months later, but the reason why not because of her job, it was because I realized I could never tell when she was acting or being real. I also knew as long as she continued being a massage therapist, she would always have continuous temptations and offers from guys, and I figured someday she would give in to her temptations, and that's no way to live your life, always worried that someday you will be replaced by a younger, richer, better looking guy. No thanks.

So CJ, if you really care about Derek, I think you need to come clean. Sure you can downplay it and say you hated doing "that" and you are so glad that you are now in a managerial role because you won't have to give HJ 's anymore. I agree with one of the other comments that telling Derek he is the 1st person you've told about your job, might ease the sting a little too. Maybe add that you have been wanting to tell him, and that is has been weighing on your conscious for some time now, but you just never knew how to bring it up. Tell him you were afraid to tell him the truth because you were afraid to lose him.

CJ I don't think you want to tell him because you don't want to deal with the repercussions. Which will be: a) he says he can't handle this and walks out the door. b) he says OK I'll still be your boyfriend but you have to quit your job immediately (which is what I did, but quickly realized this wasn't really feasible unless I was going to support her, which I couldn't) or c) he is extremely open minded and begrudgingly is Ok with it.

Even if Derek picks outcome c, it won't be too long (maybe a year) before he won't be able to put up with the mental images of you jerking guys off before he demands you quit your job. That is if he truly loves you. Again I know because this is what happened to me. I could take it for awhile, but then as I fell more and more in love with her, I couldn't take it any longer. It was driving me crazy.

CJ, I think I recall reading a comment by one of your loyal followers, regarding this very topic about Derek finding out about your job. I remember because she made a good point. She flipped the situation around and asked how you would you feel if Derek was in the sex business? Try to put yourself in his shoes. How would you react if Derek was the massage therapist, and he was telling you this after all this time?

You are in a pickle here, but I think trying to come up with yet another lie is not the right answer. Come clean, but try to soften it as much as possible as I mentioned earlier, and think how much burden and pressure will be lifted off your shoulders when you do. It will finally be out in the open and now you and Derek can have a meaningful conversation about your relationship and your future. You going to have to have this conversation sooner or later, and based on recent events (your new role) it seems to me now you have the perfect reason to finally tell him what you do.

Good luck

Just Visiting said...

You seem to want to keep him around. If you aren't the one to tell him, sooner or later he finds out and likely leaves.

And the truth of The Business is really easy to discover when he decides to look into it.

Czar Nicholas said...

Just found this blog, and it's been entertaining, enlightening, and several other encouraging adjectives that escape me currently.

In regards to letting the cat out of the bag, it's probably for the better to just cop to it. It's likely he'll be confused and perhaps a little hurt, but dragging it out and skirting the issue will just make it that much worse, should the shit hit the fan.

Regardless of how you choose to address it, good luck.

Anonymous said...

98% of the guys out there would not split hairs between "sex for money" and "sexual acts for money". Especially when they involve hand jobs, titty fucking, etc.

Ultimately, you're a whore... until you accept that & stop trying to pretend you're not, you will never find peace with your home life.

A whore's life is a lonely life. The kind of guys who are okay with you being a whore are not exactly the most stable folk. You will be an old bitter cat lady. On the bright side, when you lose your teeth, you can expand your menu to include "gummies".

Anonymous said...

worst case scenario - he flips out, feels betrayed, and out of spite... tells all your family & friends.

Anonymous said...

I think you’ve already poisoned the relationship beyond repair.

But that doesn’t seem to matter to you because, to be honest, it’s all about you isn’t it?

You string the guy along with a thousand lies, you continue to do what YOU want, and then you look for better lies in order to have your cake and eat it too.

If he finds out what you do for a living, it’s going to be over because he will understand that the entire relationship has been built on lies.

What’s your end game? Marry the guy and wind up running into one of your clients at the alter? Then what?

If you’re ever going to have a successful relationship, you’ll probably have to start by dating a customer. Someone who knows what you do for a living and doesn’t care.

As far as Derek goes, if you have any feelings for him at all, you should dump him now while he has a little of his mind and self respect left.

Anonymous said...

If Derek is someone you think you may have a real future in, I think you're going to have to come clean with him. I know how that's uncharted waters that you don't want to voyage into. But, adding more lies to things will never work out in the long run. You'll have to face the possibility of losing Derek. But, you have to figure that you'll lose him anyway if you continue the lies.

Telling him the truth is not the worst thing in the world. You do have standards and limits, and you're a lot higher up on the prostitution scale than the crack-addicted streetwalkers. If he's really "the one", and truly loves you, he'll take this better than you might think. You can't build a life with him if you can't have open lines of communication.

On the other hand, if you only want to continue dating him as long as possible, keep up the lies and don't get too attached to him.

Yforme2 said...

If your goal is a LT relationship with Derek the lies will catch up and totally burn you at some point. I would start with the partial truth and feel him out - 'it is a spa and I give LICENSED massages. Sorry I didn't come clean about it before, but the job pretty much morphed from hair care into this great opportunity. I love you, and respect you enough to not be able to talk about everything and I hate that I have skirted around this. I need you to know and love all of me and hate keeping secrets.'

If this turns into a crash and burn situation - it will come to that at some future point anyway - face the music and be better able to enjoy your life. It may be the best thing for Derek and make him feel better about his relationship with you.

My two cents!!

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker and fan. Sorry I have not ever contributed. Anyway looking for some help from any of the fans out there.

I am in Seoul, Korea on business for about a week (right now). I am near the Namdaemun Market. Anyone been here before and advice or location of a good Massage Parlors. There are enough of them but they are very racist over here and most American's get turned away. I have tried on past trips. The Korean men do not like their women soiled by Americans.

Anyway thanks in advance. 2 good can come for you from Derek finding out what you do. Being realist most guys would not be cool with their girlfriends doing what you do. Worst case you tell him and word starts leaking about what you do from the jilted lover. Risk to the Business and you personally. Best case he just walks away.

Ultimately, being together this long and not telling him...he is going to have trust issues and the relationship will never be the same. He will always wonder if you are telling the whole truth (about full service). Sorry that's the way I see it. If you really love him and want to spend the rest of your life with may have to keep it a secret...then retire at the opportune moment...burying the truth. Some secrets are just left that...secrets.

If Derek is not the one, find someone who knows you and loves you for who you are...someone willing to take on the whole package.

Love you...Love the blog!

Melissa Blade said...

I don't think there's a half truth/half lie that you can tell him that he'll be ok with. I've tried it; it doesn't work. That's why I believe that the true "cost" of being in this line of work is a healthy relationship. I'm saving up and then eventually I'll be out.

VEEE said...

The offer still stands...If he don't want you, I'll marry you CJ!!

The Finger said...

Rather than tell him you give clothing optional hand jobs, I'd suggest giving him half the truth. Say you're a LMT at a massage parlor. Explain that it's not "that" type of parlor, but that they do opetate in a grey area of the law. You were hired to give the place legitamacy, giving theraputics to little old ladies and anyone who acted suspiciously, while the other employees serviced regulars. Explain Audrey, her questionable behavior and hiring practices, and tell him that things got so bad that you had to leave last year. You were able to hold on to your regular clients during your time away. After you left, things got really bad (drugs, thefts, really questionable clients...) and that Audrey begged you to come back, which you agreed to, but on the condition that you run the place. You've since cleaned up the place. You didn't tell him, because in the past, boyfriends assumed that you were "servicing" clients, and that their jealousy over what they thought you did ultimately ruined the relationship.

El Masaquate said...

If Derek had a job as an LMT that fingered women, would you be upset? If he fingered them before during or after massages, would you care? What if he finally came clean after you married him, that the reason he makes good $ is because his hands/toy have been inside many women?

Ultimately, it doesnt matter unless you want a LTR w him. If not, then fug it, keep lying and start blowing your customers. We'd like to hear those stories!?!?

But if you've developed strong sentimental feelings toward him, then tell em what you do. He probably knows, he cant be that stupid...

And you're probably a good lay, shit with as many cocks as you've seen?? It's a daggum compliment to HIM that you've stayed with him. Either he's loaded, or has a sasquatch cock that you can't get enough of. Either way, it sounds like this blog is getting good, now hurry up dammit LOL!

Anonymous said...

Well your in quite a bind here. You are on the verge of making a confession that's gonna change your life. If u tell him the truth n he has no problem with it then you'll know he doesn't really care all ghat much for you. No decent man is gonna b ok sharing his women with others on any level. And please keep the there's no emotion part to yourself. Everyone here knows there's no emotion but sex is sex end of story. Option two u tell him and he leaves your lying ass. Which is deserved. You've been sharing your life w this poor man and you've been lying to him for years. Not good for a relationship honey.

I personally think you should come clean. If you really care for this man you should set him free to make decisions that affect his life. What your doing is selfish and will be embarrassing to him. Is that the love he deserves? Your being a selfish bitch by keeping this great guy held up in a relationship based on lies. Let him go CJ so he doesn't waste Anymore time and can move on and find someone who respects him and his feelings. He prob deserves at least that.

Your stuck in this shitty profession, you really shouldn't include someone in your hell against their will. Think about and make the right decision for him not u. For him.

SirFWALGMan said...

I think you got issues with this one. If you really like Derek and see yourself getting more serious then you have to come clean.. but knowing someone I loved and trusted had been lying to me for a long time would be hard to get over.

If he really loves you he will get over it but your in for a tough time.

I like the Fingers lie the most if you decide to continue lying.

Anonymous said...

It's too late, you lied. You wouldn't ever trust anyone who lied so convincing and as for as long as you have if it was done to you. Even if he forgave the lie, he would know that he could never tell if you were lying in the future, and that you would do it again if you could justify it to yourself.

You have to face that fact that your profession permanently precludes you from having a functional relationship while you still practice it. You said in previous posts that you can’t date a customer and can’t tell a boyfriend what you do. You’re right on both of these facts. The one fact that you seem to have avoided admitting to yourself is that you can’t have a relationship that includes you being willing and able to convincingly lie about anything.

My wife and I are always truthful to each other because we’re terrible liars and we both know it. And therefore we both know that we can always trust each other.

Until you can be trusted, you can’t be in a functional relationship. Until you feel that lying to someone is a big deal, you can’t be trusted. As long as you’re in your current profession, you can’t be in a relationship without lying. Therefore your profession contradicts a functional relationship.

That’s not to say that you can’t find the right person and end up happier than the ending of Shrek, but you will have to wait until you change professions before even imagining that it’s possible.

Cut your spending and standard of living, earn an income at something you can admit, and then your life will start. Until then you’re in limbo while the years fly by faster and faster. Remember, Audrey never saw her future when she was your age.

Oh yeah… Stop dating the bad boys. Date a nerd like Dilbert before you’re too old for Dilbert to want you. Dilbert might not excite you, but he’ll make sure you and any kids the two of you have always have a home.

Now click your heels together three times and repeat over and over… “I’m halfway in years from High School to being Audrey, and I want to get off of this ride now.”

cj said...

Holy crap you guys are good! I had my own idea of what I could say, but now I'm taking some of your advice seriously.

One thing I want to say to all the "anons" out there - please use a name of some kind so I can respond to you directly.

And keep the advice coming! And thanks for keeping the use of "whore" to a minimum.


H said...

Tell him, when you last worked there, you were regularly complaining to your manager about another employee pilfering product for friends and family.

That employee and the manager were friends (and often ganged up on you) so the manager didn't really care and fired you for rocking the boat.

You got into contact with the distant owner (who is a decent human being) eventually and told her of your unwarranted dismissal. She was so impressed with your integrity, she fired the manager when the time was right and promoted you.

Boom. Perfect lie. Problem solved.

Anonymous said...

"I think you’ve already poisoned the relationship beyond repair.

But that doesn’t seem to matter to you because, to be honest, it’s all about you isn’t it?

You string the guy along with a thousand lies, you continue to do what YOU want, and then you look for better lies in order to have your cake and eat it too.

If he finds out what you do for a living, it’s going to be over because he will understand that the entire relationship has been built on lies."

I agree with the above post

VJ said...

If you tell him the honest truth I am guessing he will be hurt beyond apology and recovery and it will lead to the end of your relationship. So ask yourself after all he has done for you, does he deserve the hurtful truth or something better. Remember just because something needs to be said, doesn't mean it needs to be heard.

Simply put you need to dissemble. So tell the truth, but in a way that he'll interpret quite a different meaning from what you intend.

Tell him you met someone in your massage classes who was opening a day spa and offered you a job when she heard you could wash and style hair as well as massage. The offer was too good to pass up and you owed her a favour, so you decided to take the job.

The simplest lies always have an element of truth, and this one fits into what you told him b4.

Anonymous said...

I am disgusted and disappointed that you are ruining the name of professional massage therapy! Shame on you for fucking it up for the rest of us who actually help people with pain. MASSAGE THERAPY is professional and therapeutic only. You are not an erotic massage therapist, HA! That is just a special name and you are nothing more than a slut. Stop degrading yourself with this shit, you will never have a good relationship. And I'm pretty sure adding to the lies will further fuck it up for you with this guy. Why would you want to lie more? Are you stupid?! Find a better profession and then you won't have to lie.

sophie said...

Hi CJ! :)

Well, two things...

1. a lie will turn into a BIG MESS. But, a big mess can always be cleaned up by, "I just hid it because you might not want to be with me..." Here, you will eventually find out if he really wants to be with you despite of all the lies...then probably you guys can have a fresh start. Or...a not so happy endin.

2. Just put in a good white lie that will eventually turn out to be the truth such as, "I was made co-manager of this place because of my expertise and I didn't know at first what I was getting into...but when I learned that it was for giving 'happy endings' to men, I was assured that I will not do any sort of those things...I'm just there to manage the employees." :D

I hope it works!

By the way, I really need your help. I need to learn how to give a 'happy ending' well...its a surprise for someone dear. :D I'm a hand job virgin.

Do send me some info at

thanks a bunch!
I hope everything will go well with you and Derek.

Anonymous said...'re bacically a whore...sorry...he deserves better

Anonymous said...

Men... she charges way too much...go to a asian massage parlor...not a brothel but one that does the exact same thing she does at a fraction of the cost...and that is why she is so against them...not for illegal trafficking etc but they are competition... learn how to safe time and money getting your happy Ending @

Moe said...

First things first. C.J. Love the blog and your way of writing. Funny as hell.

Now, as for your "alibi", let's just get "the truth" OFF the table. You can't tell Derek the truth as you have said throughout this blog many times. You know it. I know it. My cat knows it. So no coming clean.

Others have commented that Audrey needs you because she trusts you, she's worked with you for a lot of years and she has rectified her mistake that drove you two apart. She sweetened the deal by making you co-manager; perfectly reasonable to get you back.

C.J. You are the best "shampooist" in the business, but you also do some "hair coloring" and some "waxing". You're a "Jill-of-all-trades" in the spa biz. When you got home to Derek, occasionally have some hair color on your hands. Nuf said.

All the best.

Anonymous said...

@ Moe...

But don't you think Derek has a right to know how many men have been spuing on the breasts he's kissing at night?

Anonymous said...

Tell him there is a difference between being a whore and being a masseuse. If he cares for you he will understand. I know I would. I love you and your blog I wish I could date you, I would not care what your do for a living only that I want to make you happy.

Midnight reader

Anonymous said...

If you really care about Derek, and you really want a long term relationship with him, the truth needs to be told sooner or later. If he doesn't accept it, you both move on.

Living with him, and having to cover up what you do on a regular basis must take a lot of your energy, not to mention creating some bad karma. If you want the relationship for the long haul, you must find a time and a place to tell him your story. If he truly loves you, he may find a way to accept you as you are (and what you've been doing for a living). Maybe not immediately. You may lose him, too... but if that happens, you can move on, and learn a good lesson. Maybe find a guy you can love who'll accept what you do, and love you, too.

You seem like a very intelligent and interesting lady... If I'm in Derek's shoes, I appreciate that about you... along with the good sex (my assumption), and I care deeply about you, too... I might find a way (in my mind) to not be too threatened by your making a living by providing bare-breeasted massage and happy endings.

I'm not the smartest or wisest guy in the world, and I've had more than my share of relationships over the years... but having read most of your blog entries, and what you've revealed about yourself in them, that's the way I see it.

I may not have the answer you're looking for, but hopefully I've given you some food for thought.

Washington, DC burbs)

Anonymous said...

How many lies do you think you can juggle and for how long? Tell him the truth and expect him to walk. That way he might not spill to others like friends and family. If he finds out on his own, he'll be doubly pissed and you won't know what he'll do. Can't do that? Get a legitimate job and hope he never finds out.

nuru gel said...

Life where you want to settle down with a guy and start a family?

Anonymous said...

ITs Shallby

well honestly i dont think there is much you can do will severely hurt him by telling him the truth..and you are living a lie...the best you can do is make him break up with you..and just walk away...

Anonymous said...

Whatever you do in telling him some more of the truth, this is my advice:

Pack up your stuff ahead of time. Let your emotions take over when you talk to him. Don't force tears if you don't feel them, but if you really care about this guy, you seem afraid to lose him. Let him know how much this is killing you, how much you hate it.

Also, if you showed that you could get work on your own, that's another argument why someone would hire you as a co-manager. Just saying.

Sandra's S.O. said...

So, you claim to be a good fibber. How's that working out for you? Uh-huh. Now you want someone else to join your folly and be a better liar. That is insulting.

You lost this battle when you told the first lie. Be an adult, give Derek the truth and free him.

You've never been able to be honest about your occupation before and have it turn out well. You haven't tried enough times because it is the ONLY way it will ever have a happy ending. If your next BF asks what you do too soon, tell him your not ready to share that yet. He should respect that when he does get your TRUE answer.

You have a recorded history in your blog that will help the right man understand your morals and accept you with your job. He'll be able to tolerate the present until you gain your goal of being a legit business owner.

While I'm on the advice kick, scrap your hypocritical double standard. What is good for the goose is good for gander. You need to be able to accept a man who can receive happy endingz and remain as emotionally distanced as you.


Tom in NH said...

CJ . . . go back and read Melissa Blade's comments . . . that should sum it up for you.

Wish you the best . . . stay safe . . . if you ever visit NH or the New England area . . . :)

busana muslim said...

Thanks for sharing these important information.

Rick said...

If you go down--sorta speak--the "LIE" road, there is no end and you will go crazy keeping things straight and you WILL screw it up anyway.
Just tell him the truth; a licensed LMT has limited jobs in our town and makes X; so I joined a spa where I still give therapeutic massages and sometimes what is called, "A Happy Ending" massage which means when the massage is down, I give the client a hand-job. I get paid a salary plus tips. My tips come from the hand-jobs, showing them my tits, but nothing and I mean nothing else.
Now if Derek cannot handle that (and give him a week), then there is no trust and confidence and no love in man for you. Then YOU will know what you must do.
50% change he will want you to show him what you do.

Anonymous said...

If the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel if you found out that your bf had been lying to you since you started dating and was actually performing sexual acts for a living rather than what he initially claimed?

Most halfway sane folks would likely conclude that the relationship was built on a foundation of lies and deception and therefore irreparable.

I'm guessing that you've got a pretty good idea of what his reaction will be if/when the truth surfaces, otherwise, you would have told him already. I have no moral objection to people paying for or accepting money for sexual acts, but I'd find it hard dating a prostitute, which, although you go to great lengths to deny it, is your current profession.

On the brighter side, there's someone out there for everyone and I disagree with a recent poster's opinion that you'll ultimately end up a lonely cat lady. Your work by no means defines who you are as a person and even if this situation turns out to be too heavy for your current mate, I'm sure that you'll find someone with whom you can be up front with and share your darkest secrets and have them love you unconditionally. Best of luck with whatever you choose to do but as a wise man once said: THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!!!

Anonymous said...

Since you've been so busy, I take it you are good at what you do. My suggestion is to give him a great performance and tell him just before he lets it go.

Steph J said...

I like what The Finger said. That way, if the, um, seedier part of your b comes up, you can say you phased that out when you got to know Derek. The big thing I'm thinking you can do is can you phase out the more intense extras for your customers to make that a more liegitimate statement? That way you are telling the truth, softening the blow, and eventually he can learn everything about your past because it will soon be your past.

This is assuming you want to stay with Derek and see a potential for wedding bells.

mr blonde said...

love your blog, funny shit. But time to start thinking about your next career move if you want to move forward in your relationship. The past is the past and he'll never have to know about that. As long as your good with yourself then it won't matter. You will be far from the first person to do some unsavory shit in their past life and go on to live a perfectly normal existence. But again the deceit has to end soon. You've been in this biz for over 10 years, you should have some kind of exit plan by now. You don't sound like you live some extravagant lifestyle or have drug issues. By now you should have something in the bank to show for all those cum baths. I wouldn't know if you're qualified to write for a living or not. I certainly enjoy your style, but I'm far from an expert on that subject. You do however strike me as being extremely intelligent, and observant of your surroundings. Maybe I missed the post where you talk about life after massages. To me, you seem to be too caught up in the day to day. You need to ask yourself, if after 10 years of compromising yourself are you any further ahead than if you took a regular job. I'm casting no dispersions on you. In fact I admire the way you handle yourself. But if that's what you have to do then make sure you get paid and paid big! Then get the hell out of it and do something with that money. ie.. real estate, restaurant, whatever. Hand cranks should be a stepping stone not a career. good luck honey,

Anonymous said...

I'm the guy who ended my recommendation further up the comments list with the line: "Click your heels three times..."

I believe that mr blonde said what I was trying to say, only he was far more succinct.

Take it to heart.

Mr. 50-something

Jenny-Rich said...

I have a story that seems to fit your issue. It's sort of funny, but I'll just go with it.

I run a fantasy wrestling game online. It isn't sick or anything. It's like the WWE for example. You make a wrestler, role play for him or her, and we have matches. I have about 20-30 members (both male and female) from all over the world. Ity's a really fun game that people play as a nice distraction from real life.

Anyway, all the work that both the members and myself do is quite a lot. A few years ago, I decided to get some help. I met a woman online named Tammy that loved wrestling and wrote pretty well. I brought her in the game and let her have power and control. We ended up getting a long at first, but it got pretty bad the two years she was there. We fought a lot. Sometimes it was great and other times it wasn't so great. Two of the female members in my game really liked Tammy and were her two best friends.

Long story short, those two female members ended up getting into an argument and one of them was banned from our game. The remaining female member sent me a series of emails she had sent the banned female member as a way to mock her. I read the email thread and saw someone named Dave mentioned over and over.

I asked the remaining female member who Dave was. She was cornered and had to confess. The woman I met online was really a dude named Dave. He had lied about his gender and identity for two years to me and everyone else in the game with the exception of those two female members (who really were females as I talked to both of them on the phone ... I never talked to Dave AKA Tammy on the phone).

My reaction was one of shock and anger. I quickly fired this Dave and have banned him. He's tried over and over to speak to me. I refuse. He's now mocked in our game and scorned. He fully knew his lie hurt us. Many people who play our game become close friends. We became friends with "Tammy". Not sexual friends or anything sick ... just regular friends. I thought that I knew her. It ended up being some sick freak guy that gets off pretending to be a woman.

While my story doesn't totally match yours, I'd hope you'd see that Derek could have a very bad reaction and get hurt. I know if my significant other worked in the massage business with happy endings as part of her deal, I'd be very upset. I'm just the kind of person who doesn't like being lied too, especially when I've come to trust someone like I did "Tammy".

Hope this helps. Best wishes for you and Derek no matter what happens. Thanks for an entertaining blog to read.

whoresandhookers said...

Invite your co-manager over for dinner. After the liquor flows, break out the massage table and offer Derek a 'therapeutic massage'. Have Derek strip to a towel and assume the position. Halfway through, ask your co-manager to help you out with Derek while you go to the ladies' room. You return 'after making yourself more comfortable.' Now you start offering each other 'professional tips' on technique, trying them out on Derek. A little mutual flirting and 'competition' commences. Now you have Derek roll over on his back. Guess what? 'Oh don't worry about that, it's perfectly natural. Just relax...' The 2-on-1 massage turns more sensual. A few 'accidental' breast strokes, ball strokes, etc. Then tell your co-manager, 'Hey, Derek has a really great dick! Would you like to see it? Derek, you don't mind if I show you off a little bit? Just lay back and relax.' You remove the towel and your co-manager dishes as much praise as she can muster. You grab his hard dick and dish your own praises about 'how hard it is'. 'Here, go ahead and tell me if you ever felt one this hard before? You don't mind, do you Derek?' She grabs his cock and gives a good squeeze. Let her play a little. You tell Derek, "You've been a very good boy! You deserve a reward,' as you drop what's left of your clothes, squirt lube on him and begin to stroke. Your co-manager continues massaging his muscles as your stroke his cock. 'You might as well get comfortable too,' you tell her, so now everyone is equally naked. You ask her to help you with the cock massage. As he comes you tell him how handsome he is and how much you love him (or really like him). Now, with your hand on his hard cock, you tell him the truth about your job...and as a fringe benefit to dating a handjob hooker, he gets all the free massages he wants from your friends, or buy time from anyone else. Pretty hard for a guy to say no to that.

Or, just tell him another lie and feel guilty for the rest of your life.

Don't sell yourself short. You actually have a good thing going, if you have the guts to share it. Truth is scary, isn't it? No pain, no gain. Feel the fear, and do it anyway. You have a very important job in society, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Anonymous said...

He can ways have a friend you may not know go to your place of employment and see what it's all about. The truth might not be that bad of an idea.

Anonymous said...

@ Whores and Hookers ...THAT'S THE WORST IDEA i ever heard... glad i wasted 2 mins of my life reading that... just tell the guy straight up...he's going to leave you eventually anyway so might as well not prolong the ineveitable

Anonymous said...

I just read the AMP experience by a wise man named JP. That's another great read for the guys here. Thanks for the heads up whomever posting it. That was the site. kudos

Jay said...

I don't mean to be rude or disrespectful, but how naïve is Derek? I've read through almost all of the blog posts, and either Derek is genuinely stupid or he already knows something is up and takes it for what it's worth. Any thinking person should know something is amiss given your stories and schedule. It might not be that big of a surprise to him because most guys notice "red flags" early on. He might be a non-confrontational type of person and already have a inkling of what you're up to. The real person living in torment with all of this is you, CJ. In the Bible the term for being sexual intimate was "knowing" your husband or wife. The term "knowing" goes much beyond a handjob or tittyfuck. You said yourself you got scared when you actually had an orgasm with a customer because that was about the closest you were to being "known." The best relationships are built on full revelation, so you're doing Derek and yourself more of a disservice by keeping up this charade. The truth will set you free. As a Christian I don't condemn you for what you've done, although I do believe the actions have been wrong. The sooner you give up the parlor and do regular massages and commit yourself to Derek (if he's what you want) the better off you'll be. The cognitive dissonance is what's tearing you up, not the sexual favors.

Anonymous said...

Someone on Reddit suggested that a good way to scrounge cash would be to go door-to-door with a cordless drill and offer to install peep-holes for $40.

So, *knock knock*
"Hey, this could have been a gun, but it's not. For $40 and 5 minutes of your time I'll make sure you know next time before you open the door."

Apparently it works well. You could tell Derek that the reason your hand is so sore all the time is those damned steel doors that everyone has been using for the last two decades. But you would never do anything ridiculous like that for money, would you?

Anonymous said...

Woo hoo! You thought my post about the remote controlled vibrator was the most interesting. Do I win anything for the suggestion?

Your last comment line suggested that there was some temptation on your part. Is there some hope? If not the customer controlling the device, how about one of your co-workers? Can you imagine the situation? It would be great to video it. I think I remember a video of a young lady working a fast food restaurant counter with such a device inserted, and controlled by a boyfriend in the eating area. It was funny shit to see her trying to deal with the incessant pleasurable feelings.

Ah, but I know you would never allow it – and why. I pay attention.

1. You would not be in complete control.
2. You would be afraid to have an orgasm with a customer.
3. Somebody would see your “fuck face.”

Am I correct?

Your response to my post said you have used a vibrator on your clit. That’s not precisely true, is it? Certainly, if it was at The Business and with a client, you pretended to use it on your clit (like you described pretending to finger yourself).

Illinois Client. said...

bwahah. someone needs fresh material for fuckin blog sweeps season, huh?

there is no derek, assholes. he's as real as the fuckin spoon.

seriously, any guy this fucking dumb to buy this shit story for what, 18 months now?, is either stringing a ho along or, well, that fucking dumb.

besides, three posts ago it was some line like, "teehee i'm single mister fantasy sugardaddy."

at least whoresandhookers offered something fitting for this shit: rich jackoff fantasy for the readers.

Anonymous said...

The more you lie the more you are screwed... the sooner you fix it the sooner you have a chance... you don't fix it, you are doomed. I think this one is lost. The next time, tell him you are a dancer. If he asks questions, let him know you give lap dances. Neither one is a lie by the way. Then you tell him you get guys off and they pay you. You don't and have never slept with them. So far the truth right? Go with the truth, always much easier... and by the way, Derek will be pissed because you lied, not by what you do!!!

Sign me -- luv ur touch

Anonymous said...

Hey cj,

you don't know me, but we have a lot in common. we both share the same job except I'm independent. And, I have no plans to tell my boyfriend about what I do. Don't get me wrong I hate lying to him. But, the chances of us ending up together, married or whatever are slim. And, even if I thought we were headed there...I think some of these other people are right. You have to tell the truth from the get go the situation you've set your self up for is going to fail, he won't trust you the same again and likely he'll spread the word when you guys break up if not right away. Personally my boyfriend is nuts already nevermind knowing what I do. I was with him when I got into this ...however had I been single at the time I would have never got involved. And, it's almost easier knowing after we break up I can't date ....takes some of the pressure of how complicated the job can make my life away.

I hate lying to my bf sometimes I don't answer the phone till I'm in the car just so I can say honestly I'm on my way back...
I don't think I can keep this up long and chances are I'll end it if for no other reason because he deserves better than what I'm giving him....I suggest you do the same that or you look into another line of work. I hope you understand where I'm coming from. I believe that one of the comments is correct save up and get outif you want a relationship because you can't have one doing this. xo- Bailey

Mad Jack said...

Well then. I'll assume that you are who and what you say you are and that Derek is real and that you've described your relationship and your life situation accurately.

The fact is that management of a business requires a different skill set and a different attitude than being a worker (an MT in your case). Explain that fact to Derek. If Derek settles down, that's fine. If not, then be prepared to tell Derek a half-truth.

The thing that makes any story believable is the amount of truth in it. So if you tell Derek that you give massages and he wants to talk about happy endings and other personal services, talk to him about it. Tell him some providers do, some don't. You don't, never have, never will. Lie to him. Look him right in the eye and lie, and keep right on lying and sticking to your story no matter how ridiculous it looks. Because, you see, Derek wants to believe you.

The reason I recommend this strategy is that I really do not believe that Derek, like almost all men, can handle the truth. Therefore you should give him something he can handle, and he'll likely stop asking.

All that said, ask yourself if you ever want a very long term relationship with any man, because if the answer is anything but "Hell no!" you should begin shopping for a parachute. A way out. An exit strategy backed up with solid tactics. I think it's likely a few of the readers here would be willing to help you think this through and come up with a solid plan that offered a certain amount of flexibility, but whatever you come up with you'll likely have to leave the area. Consider, what will you do during a business function or social event when a past client shows up and the SOB recognizes you and starts talking about the wrong subject? Relocate 1000 or more miles away and start a brand new life.

Anyway, that's my own two cents. Good luck to you and Derek.

Anonymous said...

I did this game for a year and actually ended up marrying the guy i was with during the time i worked at the spa. I told him there was a group of girl who did do hand jobs and then the cover up girls who actually did do legit massage to make it look kosher. He did believe me, and it turned into so many lies that i finally had to quit or lose my damn mind with all the lies i had to remember. It did work for a while though.

Good luck mama!

Anonymous said...

Tick-tock Tick-tock
Pretty soon your time is up
And very soon he will know
And out the door you will go

SandraM said...

Some have suggested that Derek already knows. I must concur that unless he is an absolute dufus, clueless in relationship interactions, this is most likely true. As the other half of the real life couple, only you can judge that.

That being said, it is not what you honestly tell him, but how you honestly explain your motives. There is hope for your relationship because he is still with you after 18 months, waiting to get the whole you.


Anonymous said...

I'm a little behind the curve..haven't checked in for a while, but I would say go with the truth. You may lose Derek, but how much longer can you honestly tell yourself you love someone if they don't really know you (if you do love him, not sure if you've said that or not)? It's going to be a lot for him to handle but you said yourself it would be the biggest stress relieving thing you could do.

Anonymous said...

I hate to say this but I think you have boxed yourself into a real corner. If your relationship has any future at all, he needs to know the truth. But once he knows it, he will be very upset because you lied for so long, you jerk off strange men for money, or both. I know if I were him, I would have a hard time getting past this and trusting you ever again. Sorry. - Diego

Anonymous said...

You got quite a bag of crap there. Honesty is always the best policy from the beginning.

My wife was a married, party girl cougar for many years. She lost track of the amount of FUN she had.

Initially she lied about it. I told her I was more mad that she lied to me about than the actual freestyle, cheating, sex crazed lifestyle she led back then.

And I was more mad about her not being honest with me. If he loves you, he won't care what it is you do, but he will be pissed you lied.

Best be humble and explain the fear and embarrassment of telling the truth.

Either way it turns out, at least next time you will know better than to lie to somone you care about.

Rick said...

Can we leave Derek the idiot and go on to another topic. This guy bores me. Should CJ tells the truth it is 50/50 simply because none of us even know the guy. But it will eat and eat at him for a long time until he just goes over the top.
So either he gives up a good woman and great sex, or he moves on and learns as she will too.
Either way, we all need to move on.

Jay said...

CJ, you know you can never tell him the truth. And you also know that unless he physically walks in on you and a client in the act, he will never have proof that you do anything otherwise.
I have seen the sh** hit the fan in this same situation countless times from my coworkers but they were not as smart as you, and thought it would be a good idea to finally tell their boyfriend the truth. And I have been stuck in an office for 3 hours with the dead bolt on, a couch pushed against the door because an angry boyfriend was trying to come in and kill me and another girl because he found out "the truth". And I have been in 2 raids by the police because the boyfriend decided to report us to the cops after the girl told him "the truth".
The truth is, men will never understand. There is no limit to a man's jealousy and rage. You are a "sacred intimate," and good person to these men and show them love so they can better love themselves. It is a life calling more spiritual than strictly therapeutic massage, and unless you do it, you will never understand.
Tell him whatever half-truth that you must, but make it include clients that way you can talk about your day. They don't all have to be men you are talking about, but it would help if you can vent to him if you've had a hard day.
Also, men don't see relationships the same as women. Until you are engaged or married, you are still only "dating." I would keep doing what you do, and never tell him the truth, and formulate a plan to get out of the business if it bothers you IF and WHEN you are engaged/married only.
Until then, there is no real commitment, and you can do what you want.
Just my opinion.

Anonymous said...

Hey there CJ

I just wanted to ask a question. What would you say to a Virgin going to a massage Parlor. I have been thinking about to get some sexual experience and getting comfortable with the opposite sex

Anonymous said...


why not point him at this blog?


mrbig said...

Just tell me that you're good with the scrotums, and this can be to his advantage.

Anonymous said...

CJ, stop being an emo bitch. You're destined to be a lonely old lady or hook up with your creeper customers. You deserve nothing but sadness for constantly lying to the people who love you on such an intimate level.

Now get on with the next post. Reading about your pathetic life brings comedic joy to the rest of us. said...

That last post is a new low. I simply cannot understand what is wrong with people who strive to be cruel to complete strangers. I can understand the displaced anger and hostility of wives who have discovered that their husbands have utilized the services of sex workers. But the gratuitous attempt by someone like this to cause pain to another human being for no reason bespeaks an empty soul.
If you want to see what someone with a "pathetic life" looks like, may I suggest you look in the mirror tomorrow when you arise.

Anonymous said...

MrMikelobe1952 aka "Captain Save-a-ho" - thank you for your insightful opinion.

As a public blog, CJ chooses what information to put out there. Just as many readers fawn over CJ, there will be a small collection of readers who keep it real.

It's not cruelty, it's reality. Relationships are about trust and mutual respect. If you don't give it, you don't deserve it in return. If one chooses to spends their life lying to their significant others, I don't feel they deserve respect or love. I don't care if it's secret whoring, gambling, drugs, or a myriad of other dark secrets.

Content in my life, reading this blog is like watching Jersey Shore... amusing for all its hypocrisy and inner turmoil. Its intriguing to watch the human condition justify their own self-destructive tendencies. :)

Joe said...

Sorry, dude. Being mean is never cool.

The Finger said...

I'm still shocked at the level of animosity shown by some of the posters. They do nothing but hurt their own argument by being rude. I understand that sime might disapprove of CJ's profession or situation (to each his or her own) but there is no point in name calling or other such insults. I enjoy the blog and hope very much that CJ continues with it, but understand if those who poison the comment section might give her any number of reasons to stop.

Tom Moran said...

You could tell him, I'm actually a masseuse but I didn't want to give you the wrong idea. After all, it's not like I jerk guys off for a living ... :)

Nyaeve said...

You should tell him that you masturbate female clients, orgasm therapist, he would be delighted.

Nasty dilemma, keep lying.

Anonymous said...

From a massage therapist:

I started in the business same way as you: doing erotic massage. I always had a huge interest in bodywork. One thing lead to the other and after a few years I found myself enrolling in a 2 part time course in order to get my LMT certification. I would recommend you to do the same thing as that's the road you're heading: Go to school and become a real professional massage therapist. Tell your guy you're going to school for massage therapy and in the meanwhile you're working as a manager in a spa.
Once you get your license start working for yourself.

For a while I was doing both things: giving normal massages and tantric massages. I told everybody I was a massage therapist (which is the truth). Which parts exactly I massaged was nobody's damn business. It still isn't. My partners always knew I was a massage therapist. End off. I still sometimes do tantric massage with my clients because I truly enjoy it, but I keep is as my little secret. it's between them and me. Nobody's friggin' business if i rub 5 inches below or above.

I'm a happy masseuse. I love what I do. I see you going the same way.

Great blog! Very candid. Funny and real.

Life is short and then you die. Enjoy it while you;re alive. I don't think you're a "whore" at all. A whore is something completely different of what you do. don't let other people's sexual hang ups, issues and and psychological problems affect you. It's good t ask for advise but follow your own light.

And minimise your lies. Leading a double life is bad for the spirit and the self esteem.

best wishes,


Anonymous said...

I also totally agree with Jay in his comments above. Very wise words.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

tell us the taco bell story

Anonymous said...

Enough with the pity party! Get to more whore stories!

MrMike said...

I miss hearing from you. Hope things are going okay for you.

Justin said...

You should be real about who you are. You're not having a meaningful relationship with someone you're lying to. But then you already know that, don't you?

As an observer, I can tell you that I'm way more turned off because you're a liar than because of your profession.

Lots of people here are giving you "excuse" ideas, helping to justify that the lie is the right thing to do. Hell, that's probably why you asked for "help" in the first place. But the best advice is to be honest with those you care about... How can anyone argue with that?

Tell the truth CJ!

Anonymous said...

No Valentines day post? Freaking outrage..

Anonymous said...

These comments are hilarious!

All the readers rushing to BJ's defense are stereotypical of the average John's mentality. "She touched my peepee. That means she must like me for more than my money!"

Poor losers, can't turn a ho into a housewife!

Joe said...

BJ's defense? Who in the hell is BJ?

Anonymous said...

lmao BJ's defense. too much of something else on your mind

Anonymous said...

Whore whore slut whore bitch cunt whore whore whore whore tell the truth whore whore whore. Guess I lost many points, huh? Whore whore whore whore whore.. and there goes the rest. Fuck.

The Finger said...

Wow...I can't imagine a life so empty that I would spend time posting anonymous insults at a person I didn't even know.

Anonymous said...

Well, already know the answer. Read your own quote from an earlier post: "This is one of the reasons why I won't date a customer. It's hard to respect a guy who goes to someone like me for a handjob. If I discovered that Derek had been to an Asian massage parlor, I would consider that cheating on me and I'd probably dump him. Is that hypocritical of me? Maybe. I just know that the man I'm with isn't allowed to see other women - and that includes handjobs. Shit - I don't like it when Derek goes to a strip club with his friends."

I stumbled on your blog while looking for techniques to massage my girlfriend. I agree with everything in your quote above. In your heart you know the right thing to do. If you seemingly are brave enough to do what you do, then be brave enough to tell the truth and allow Derek to make his own choice. You're cheating on him, I hope he makes the right choice and dumps you. Sorry for being honest...but what you say and what you do...don't match!

Silly Girl said...

If it's meant to be, it won't matter if you tell him now or later. His reaction will be the same, so you might as well enjoy him while it lasts and keep up the act. Keep him at an arm's length and maintain the mystery. It'll keep him coming back for more ;P

Anonymous said...

Tell him the truth. The longer you keep lying, the worse this will end. If you give a damn about him, just tell him the truth, stop delaying the inevitable.

And telling the truth as a joke won't help anything. In fact if a girl pulled that move on me and tried to turn things around on me when I found it that was the truth, I'd be even more pissed.

Anonymous said...

I took the liberty of getting in touch with Martha Kollar Malina. Co-Chair PA State Board of Massage Therapy.

Talking to her on the phone, the sheer anger towards you CJ when she read your website. I haven't heard a woman get this mad in my entire life. I hope safety orange looks good on you for where you are going. Already, received a call back from the Pennsylvania state police, getting all of my information. So at least, I know a report will be filed. What comes of it after this, I dont know. Im pretty sure all of our IP addresses and proxies are being traced as you read this. Enjoy prison CJ!!!!

You have to love the internet :)

Spring Crappie fishing said...

I have similar vows to you, And that whole for better for worse thing,

theclientslist said...

Shampooist? You are too cute!! lol

Chris said...

Wow, I just read everything that has been going on. First off I still havent found a place around here (I'm speaking about your 101 posts), secondly just be honest with this guy, if he likes you he'll come around!!! So now I need more tips on how to find a place around where I live, the yellow pages thing didnt pan out.

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