Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Freak of the Week – The Porn Hound

I’ve been dying to tell ya about this guy for a week now. Remember when Sugar Daddy Pete showed up and turned my morals upside down? Well the latest Freak of the Week came in early that same day.

He was a normal looking guy… about 35, stringy hair, but dressed nicely. I’m sitting out front when he comes in and plops a giant stack of papers on the desk. My first thought was that he was selling something, so I was a little surprised when he said he wanted a session. Since he’s not selling anything, I ask what the papers are for. He says he has a ton of paperwork to do for work. But before I can ask if he plans on doing it in the middle of his massage, the front door opens again…

In walks a father and son.

My heart skipped a beat! Remember that previous Freak of the week that wanted to bring his kid in????? Well, I think I went pale when these 2 just walked in. I’m scared stiff that he’s the other freak, but luckily there’s another guy here in case he starts trouble. I stammered, “… uh… can I help you?”

Very gruffly he says, “Do you know if the mechanic is open?”

Now I’m feeling confused and relieved at the same time. “Huh?”

The auto place across the street! Is he open or not?”

Since he’s NOT the father/son freak I’m no longer afraid, but just irritated. Jerks I know how to deal with. So I tell him I don’t work there, so I don’t know. But since I’m such a loving, giving, people person, I add that there’s another place down the road.

Whew!!!!! Now with him gone, I turn my attention back to the new guy. I’m asking him how long a session he wants when I notice the stack of papers again… only they’re not papers…they’re magazines. DIRTY magazines!!!

It took a deep breath and just said, “First room on the left. Make yourself comfortable.” He disappears into the room with the stack of porn.

Another day, another dollar I sigh to myself.

A few minutes later, I go in. He’s laying nude on his stomach and propped up on his elbows – reading one of his magazines. The rest are sitting in a neat stack on the corner of the table by his head. I tell him about our options and he asks for a G-string. I strip down, but he still can’t be bothered to put down the porn. So you know what I did?

Nothing. I just pretended everything was perfectly normal. Nothing to see here folks! I grabbed a bottle of oil from the warmer, lubed up my hands and started working on his shoulders. He stayed up on his elbows like a kid glued to a comic book. That position actually made my job a little bit easier since I had easy access to his shoulders. We chatted briefly about the weather as I worked down to his legs.

When I finish his calves I told him to flip (I don’t do feet). He rolled over and then tucked the pillow behind his back so he could sit up. He twisted slightly towards me – but not to gaze in admiration at the Girls. Oh no! Instead, he opens up a new magazine on the table next to him so he can keep reading.

At this point, he stops the chit-chat, so I just start working his lower legs in silence. Then I notice that he’s now working his dick with the right hand, while turning pages with the left. Since he’s not even looking at me or talking, I figure he’s ready for his own version of the happy ending. So instead of continuing the massage, I start lightly caressing his upper thighs… kinda trying to stay in synch with each jerk of his hand. I did this for a few minutes until he finally came all over his stomach.

I offered to clean him up, but he said to just hand him a towel and he’ll take care of it himself. So while we’re both cleaning ourselves up, I ask him what’s up with the magazines. He says that he’s been addicted to porn for several years now and can’t get off without its help. I said “you do realize I was gonna take care of that for you?” He said he did, and thanked me anyway.

Apparently he’s gotten to the point where he prefers to get himself off. When I asked him about how this affects his sex life, he said the porn consumes everything to the point where he no longer has one. It’s been years since he’s actually dated anyone, and in the meanwhile he just became more and more obsessed and dependent upon porn. I actually suggested he try a hooker to try to wean him off (no pun intended), but he said he was too afraid of diseases to go that route. Based on the hookers I know, I can’t blame him!

I felt pretty sorry for the guy after talking to him. When he asked me how much he owed, I knocked $20 off the tip and told him to let me take care of things next time. He confessed that he originally had second thoughts about coming in, but now thanked me for being patient and making him feel comfortable.

“Don’t thank me sir. It’s my job.”

CJ

17 comments:

em jay peeeeeee said...

“Don’t thank me sir. It’s my job.”

Nice to see that professionalism still exists in some industries in this country.

Jane said...

haha i love your freak of the weeks

weirdos fascinate me

;)

medic said...

You've got an interesting and unpredictable job. I don't like surprises, so I couldn't have done it.

Jack said...

Somebody went to a massage parlor to whack off to porn? He paid for the privilege of doing the same thing there that he probably would have done at home?

Wow. Just wow.

Totally unrelated to this, but I've been meaning to ask because I get curious about the most trivial things: do y'all have to do laundry on site or do you ship it out to somebody? You must go through a boatload of towels. Who gets stuck washing them?

Ever curious,
Jack

cj said...

Jack,

We have a service. You want 2 dozen jizz soaked towels and sheets in your laundry every day?

I didn't think so.

CJ

Kenny S. said...

No feet?

Anonymous said...

hey cj ...im pretty good at surprises too..the other morning i had a client who as soon as i walk in the room..he says ..in a matter-of-fact tone, "your name will be Bridgette". He went on to describe the role playing game he had in mind.."I am your proffesor and you are my hot young college student ,who i just caught cheating" He then proceeded to try and bend me over and smack my ass!!Bad college girl Bad college girl..I asserted my authority sweetly of course and made him lie down on the massage table like a good boy..He didnt want any parts of a massage he just wanted to whack off while I told him I would do anything to keep my scholarship..Im quite bold when it comes to talking dirty..just as long as it remains fantasy..Hey He tipped $150 for a 30min session and i didnt even have to get my hands dirty..so hey..the other girls that work here woulda been turned off and kicked him out..but i went along with it..and he's coming back next week

Anonymous said...

CJ,

You rock, girl!
I really like reading your blog.
It is so interesting how easily you can just roll with it.

I have a question: Isn't Reading in Southeastern PA? On your 'About Me' is says that you are in SW PA. What am I missing?

melanie said...

That guy's story is so sad! Glad that you are doing what you can to help him out.

Anonymous said...

Being addicted to porn is not as freaky as the fact that he wasn't watching you. If given the choice between watching a nearly naked woman, just inches away, and a still picture from a magazine, I'd never have chosen the magazine. I'm not even sure why he opted for the more expensive g-string option, if he was going to keep his eyes glued to his porn.

He was definitely a freak!

AJ

cj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cj said...

Dear Anon and Anon,

That's a great story. I got a couple stories that are kinda like that, so I'll have to dish next time.

Also, thanks for pointing out that glaring error on my profile. I better fix it before someone thinks I'm from Pittsburgh - the armpit of PA. GO EAGLES!

CJ

Henrietta Hussy said...

that is sad :(

Anonymous said...

That'd be a blow to any woman's self-esteem...

Anonymous said...

Dare I suggest a cheap folding music stand for his next visit?

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