Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Freak of the Week - Father and Son

Did everyone have a good Labor Day weekend? I had to work on Sunday, but luckily the Business was closed Monday. We had a BBQ at my mom’s house and guess who was there? – my sister and her boyfriend. I still think she made a mistake by taking him back, but I was at least civil to him.

Today was busy for once. Business always picks up after the kids go back to school, and the dads have more time to themselves. And this brings me to the new Freak of the Week.

This one really got to me. I was working the desk this morning when I got a call from a customer wanting to make an appointment. He asked what kind of massage we provide and I told him “relaxing.”

He says he’s had all types of massages and drops a few hints that he’s interested in our kind of business. So I talk turkey with him, “Tipping starts at $80 for a relaxing massage. So would you like to make an appointment?”

“Yeah, you sound kinda sweet. I’d like to come in around 4.” I jot it down in the book. “Oh, and one more thing, can I make an appointment for my son too?”

Hmmmm… close family. Oh well, I’ve heard stranger.

This guy didn’t sound that old at all, so I figured his “kid” must be high school or college age. “Sure. If he’s under 21 I can schedule a therapeutic massage for him.” Our Carved-In-Rock policy here at the Business is absolutely NO erotic massages for anyone under 21. We’ll do therapeutics for under 21 (and I’ve done more than my share of college freshmen! – and believe me, they are so cute when they think they’re getting something naughty and it’s only a therapeutic).

“Oh no…” he says. “I want my son to have an erotic massage.”

I winced at that. First off, we don’t like to use terms like “erotic massage” on the phone. Second, we make the rules – not you. So I try to steer the course of this conversation away from the taboo terms. “Sir, we don’t do that here. We do ‘full-body massage.’ And if your son is under 21, I will gladly schedule him for a therapeutic massage instead.”

“Come on honey. “ I winced again (I HATE being called HONEY). “My son is going to have his first full body massage when I say so. And I think it’s time for him to know what a real woman feels like before he has sex.”

HUH? WHAAA?? Did he just say “sex? Did he just say “before?”

“Uh, excuse me. But how old is your son?”

“He’s 10.”


I wanted to say, “I’m very sorry sir, but unfortunately it is against our policy to offer adult oriented services to persons under the age of 21.” However, all that came out of my mouth was a sort of high-pitched squeak.

Apparently he didn’t properly interpret my squeak and kept trying to get his kid in. “Look, I’m willing to pay full price for him. And I swear I won’t tell your boss - just let us come in.”

When my verbal faculties came back to me, the best response I could manage was, “Are you fucking kidding me?????!!!!”

“No I’m not fucking kidding. What - you think you’re too good to take care of my son?” This guy must REALLY love his kid – in all the wrong ways. Well, you know what they say… If you can’t keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.

I finally just told him there’s no way in Hell he’s welcome in here, and he finally hung up. That freaked me out enough that I had to go outside and have a cigarette. I blame my smoking habit on people like him.

I guess Junior won’t be going back to 6th grade this year as a man. Oh well.



medic said...

Awesome. My hat off to that guy. What a great dad.

A boy is ready to have some fun with girls when he feels like it, not when the government tells him.

Had you accepted, you'd given that boy the time of his life and something he could brag about till the day he died.

Oh well.

Chump said...


Well, I guess you can go out and give a hand job to a ten year old.


just bob said...


emmm jay pe said...

Creepy dude. He probably doesn't even have a kid - he was just getting off on having the discussion about it. People are weird.

I don't even think I was able to orgasm at age 10!

Harv said...

lol this really made me chuckle :P Wish my dad was like that...

Srysly though waaaaay too young i cant even remember if i could climax myself at that age, i was like a dog on heat though at 15 getting anything i could lol.

It was fun being a teenager lol what went wrong as i got older????

Anonymous said...

Dont worry about those clowns girl, you def did the right thing to tell that perv where to go...money or no money women like us have morals

Anonymous said...

I think your blogs are so hilarious and so real...I too work as an "erotic" massage therp...I guess the only difference is we dont offer HJ or FS only topless or nude sessions..Between you and me its only because the owner has already spent years in jail on pandering and solicitation charges and he's noid..Im glad tho because I couldnt get comfortable with stroking some perv's dick..but that's just me I totally respect your choice..it seems like you have a head on your shoulders and YOU MAKE THE MONEY..IT DOSENT MAKE YOU...so to each her own..keep blogging i look forward to it.. people are so curious about what happens behind those "spa" doors

Anonymous said...

oh by the way lucky you had off monday...i had to work..but made a couple hundred so oh well guess i missed out on burgers and dogs

cj said...

Dear Anon,

You must share with the rest of us! I've never heard of a Business that did all the teasing, but didn't deliver the happyending! As a matter of fact, at the last place I worked at, the happyending was MANDATORY for all massages regardless of whether he wanted options or not. In other words, a customer was guaranteed a HJ even if he didn't tip us a dime!

Are you guys hiring? LOL


Slutty McWhore said...

I agree with "Emmm Jay Pe" that this guy probably doesn't have a kid, and was just enjoying winding you up. But, nonetheless, it is possible that he does, so I find some of the comments on here quite disturbing.

The medic's comment was particularly upsetting. If this kid actually exists, he wasn't deciding himself to get a handjob. Rather, his control freak father was the one doing all the deciding for him. Ten-year-old boys are neither sexually nor emotionally mature enough to seek out cj's services, so a father seeking them out for him would be tantamount to child abuse. He would be forcing his son into a sexual act he was not ready for.

Why on earth would Medic interpret that as anything else?!

Reflex said...

Slutty - Because, much like what MJP said above, medic was attempting to get a rise out of us, and enjoying our reactions.

Obviously a ten year old boy does not have erotic thoughts, I didn't really start thinking about girls that way until about 12, and I certainly would not have wanted my father to have put me in such a situation before then(or even after then, for that matter).

But I'm pretty certain medic knows that.

Anonymous said...

Hey CJ its anon again...i call myself the ultimate hustler since i dont offer extras ..but dont get me wrong new guys still ask from time to time ..however i do have a pretty loyal following of clients who tip me 250 and upward an hour for basically my time and the art of the tease ..hey its been good for two years i wont say all the girls here make that kind of $ but thats because dont know how to use their charms ..

Buddy and Snowball said...

Holy crap. I don't even know what to say.

Henrietta Hussy said...


Anonymous said...

A little (a lot?) late, but in response to Reflex's assumption, "Obviously a ten year old boy does not have erotic thoughts..."

Never assume. Most kids don't, but some of us are ridiculously curious and discover things early. I started exploring at about age six, and it definitely went beyond the plain "I'll slow you mine if you show me yours" stage, having found another young oddball like myself. Did we have any idea what we were doing? No, but we were as curious as we were creative, and determined to figure it out ourselves.

Warding off another set of assumptions, I have no history of anything even remotely like sexual abuse as a kid, my parents were practically asexual, no smut on the television, this was prior to modern video games, and hell, I hadn't even found my dad's porn stash yet. The fun things you could do with the anatomy of the opposite sex was a completely independent discovery on our part.

Do I think CJ should have obliged this guy? Hell no, absolutely not - that's a very, very different situation, and no parent has any business being involved in something like that. Nor, for that matter, would CJ be in the right in taking a hand in such a young kid's sexual explorations (sorry, couldn't resist the horrible pun). Frankly I think she did the best possible thing by practically running away screaming. I probably would've spent about five minutes cursing the guy out on the phone until he gave up.

No, I'm only commenting because I wish more people would have sense enough not to believe all children are sweet and innocent just because they want to believe that they themselves were sweet and innocent as a child. Children have the same capacity for good and evil as any adult - all the love, compassion, greed, hate, and perversion - and frankly they can be far more cruel than any adult. What they lack is knowledge and experience, and in this case that's something no adult should be so intimately involved in trying to provide as that father was suggesting.

Anonymous said...

I definitely played with myself as early as 10, and it was fun. But nothing special happened as a result until I was 13.

I might have liked it if a girl had played with me when I was 10, but if an adult woman had done so it would have been absolutely wrong -- child abuse. I definitely would have liked a girl playing with me at 13, but likewise, an adult doing the same would have been child abuse.

This freak of the week was definitely a pervert of the worst kind. Even if he was shitting you, which I hope he was, he's pretty twisted to even joke about it.

Anonymous said...

"Obviously a ten year old boy does not have erotic thoughts [...]"
Disagree with that one too. Speak for yourself, pal! But that's not shit to be acted on. That would've traumatized me as much as paying $250 for a tease (got so many of those for FREE!).

Does anyone think that a caller testing the waters at a parlor might be LE?