Thursday, October 23, 2008

Crappy Day

I knew I was going to have a bad morning when I was greeted at work with this answering machine message:

........This is a message for Audrey. I think I got a rash on my balls. Thank you - you dirty whore. You fucking slut! You make me sick....... BEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

I shoulda stayed home.

Anyways, in case you were wondering, my schedule has been totally turned upside down. That's why I haven't been writing as often as I used to. Since we hired Rose everyone decided it was time to take their vacations and divide up all the remaining shifts. So now I'm on a totally different routine and working shifts that were traditionally Audreys or Trinas.

It totally sucks.

First off, all my Regulars have been thrown off too. Guys have been showing up and Audrey is the first one to try to steal them... "Oh CJ's not here... why don't you let me take care of you?" At least Trina tells them the truth so they can reschedule with me. I've also been going through my phone list and trying to let everyone know my hours have changed. Blah.

Second, I'm now getting all of Audreys customers! Now you're probably thinking that it's only fair that I try to steal her customers. BUT - the difference is that I don't WANT any of her assholes. Remember that Audrey is kinda full-service (Semi-service? Quasi-service? Three Quarters - service?), so half these guys expect to finger me while the other half expect blow jobs. And ALL of them don't expect to pay full price!

So there I was... 2nd customer of the day, and it's one of Audreys Regulars. I had never had him before, so I reluctantly took him in session. Luckily he only wanted 30 minutes. But as soon as I get him in the room, I get this shit...

"Audrey only charges me $50 for a topless."

Fuck. Why do they always start with me? Since he's Audrey's Regular, I'm not supposed to turn him away, but I don't have to take his shit. Since I'm such a caring, giving person, I compromise. "That's fine. But you get a choice, either topless and no happy ending, or happy ending and keep the sweatshirt."

"You can't do that! I paid for that handjob!"

I looked at him calmly. I've heard this argument a hundred times before. "No, you didn't pay for a handjob - that would be prostitution. You paid for a massage. And it's up to me to do the end part, but only if I want to. And you know what? I don't want to." And with that I turned around and walked out of the room.

"I'll tell Audrey about this!" I heard behind me.

If I had a dollar for each time somebody said that to me, I'd be able to retire.



Anonymous said...

Where do all these scum come from?
Audrey may spice the joint up, but in the end your establishment will suffer. Too bad the management can't see that. As far as that message on the machine is concerned, the caller must be an idiot if he's surprised. Who needs customers like that?

Sex Addict said...

I have only recently found your blog, and you have me hooked. I find it funny that so many guys try to pull this shit. It really does become like any other business, where everyone is happy until they have to pay up. Do you ever actually get in trouble from Audrey? What could she even really do, other than fire you. From the sound of it lately, not even sure she wouldn't be doing you a favor.


Anonymous said...

You know Audrey brings all this on herself by charging less than standard prices and offering more than standard services. You should have told him to come back when Audrey was there. And, that he could get taken care of for $50 and go home with a rash on his balls!

I hope things get better for you at work.


Anonymous said...

I ran across the blog on a "crappy day" of my own.

To follow up on a theme from an above poster's new blog, even men with good sexual lives with spouses/partners need the semi-anon hj (usually w/o anyone else's knowledge), and "why" is a good question for another time...

A college girlfriend found ways to surprise me with hj's in unexpected places and at random times. Yes, those were the days.

But the sensual massage world has too few locations, mostly mundane.

The hj is such a simple act, and it's too bad that 'the business' does not have more 'independents' who drive it in creative directions: kitchen, shower, office, balcony, on a boat, as CJ wrote once....

Getting unzipped quickly while wearing a suit in an apartment hallway - priceless!

It's clear that a small % of in call providers go this 'boutique' route - why not more? If marketed discreetly online, it's relatively safe, profitable, and offers more freedom in terms of fewer clients...


sprstoner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sprstoner said...

that audrey is a real go getter... lol

anyways i just recently found your blog too, not sure where i saw the link at. anyways i linked you up to my blog, and you might get some traffic from it.

your blog is awesome... keep it up...


cj said...

Dear Addict,

I know these whiners go back to Audrey and complain but she knows she can't do anything about it since she's the one breaking all her own rules. I'm happy when they take the hint and never try to see me again.

True story - I once had one of Audreys who actually said "We have an 'arrangement' where I don't pay full price and I don't pay up front." I read him the riot act act and ended up getting a couple hundred bucks out of him.


cj said...

Dear Anon,

Taking the "Business" outside of work is always dangerous. At least within the safety of my little room, I'm in control of the situation.

However I must confess that I've taken it "outside" in a few very special cases including:

1) The restroom
2) The office (so we could both watch TV at the same time)
3) The kitchen table (a VERY special occasion involving lingerie and a video camera - but I did wipe it down before any coworkers used it)
4) My car in the parking lot of a restaurant (as a "thank you" for picking up the tab)