Friday, October 17, 2008

Massage 101

I got an interesting question the other day about whether I taught any "alternate" options to my new student Rose. By alternate, he meant things like breast releases, facials, etc. Well I usually leave that kinda stuff up to the girl. Either you know how to do "alternate" stuff already, or a helpful customer will be more than willing to teach you.

For example, I didn't know what a "Breast Release" was when I first started until a customer explained that it's the same as titty-fucking. And the good old "Butt Release" I learned from a customer who was more than eager to show me. Facials I knew about from porn movies, as well as two-handed handjobs. In fact, when I first realized there was more to hand jobs than the standard up, down repeat, I went out of my way to learn as many as possible.

Yesterday, Trina and I had a fun talk about the learning curve. "They certainly didn't teach us THAT in massage school!" was our joke of the day. So we came up with this curriculum for the Trina/CJ University for Advanced Erotic Massage Studies (and we thought our 3 semesters of community college were a waste!):

101: Basic Girlfriend Massage
102: Introduction to Hand Release
130: G-Strings Through the Ages

201: Therapeutic Massage
202: Advanced Hand Release
275: Just Say No: A Beginners Guide To Not Having Sex For Money

310: Massage Oils and Powders
311: Interior Design: How Not To Look Like a Brothel
350: How To Read A Clock for Dummies

402: Advanced Release Techniques: Breast, Butt, Thigh and Beyond
493: Accounting

And of course for the more serious students, there's always Erotic Massage Grad School:

501: Roll Playing
513: Introduction to Foot Worship
538: Advanced Lingerie
539: Advanced Lingerie Laboratory: Trip To Fredricks of Hollywood

601: Basics of Ball Busting
635: Psychosexual Ramifications of the Sugar Daddy - Sugar Baby Dynamic
665: How to Plan a 401K for Sex Workers

Of course, the only reason to go to grad school is if you plan on going into teaching. Can you imagine what the textbooks would look like? Old copies of Hustler magazine! LOL

The Trina/CJ University for Advanced Erotic Massage Studies is currently accepting applications. Look for our TV ad on the Lifetime channel immediately after the one for USA Trucking School, and right before the one for "How to Make Money From Home!"

CJ

16 comments:

Greg Voltaire said...

My question is, how much of that is for the workers, and how much is for the employer? Would there be much of a difference? I would imagine it would be just business and handjobs, but is there any extra in the administrative area when you work in erotic massage?

Henrietta Hussy said...

hahaha thats hilarious.

I never knew there was this much to it!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure many of these classes will need a few men for demonstration purposes. I'd like to volunteer my services for this.

AJ

Anonymous said...

You sure put a nice fresh spin on the sexy professor fantasy CJ. I know you have to have a set of those glasses tucked away somewhere... and just imagine how helpful the office hours would be. Straight A's here I come.

-CC

cj said...

Greg,

Having worked in both day spas and massage parlors, I can say that there really is no difference in the logistics. Massage oil is massage oil, know what I mean? Remember, since we're not full service there are no condoms or closets full of cheap lingerie to supply.

I guess 1 difference administrative wise is that we don't keep any records on customer names, phone numbers, etc.

CJ

cj said...

Anon,

Believe it or not, it really helps to have guys willing to be guinea pigs for trainees. Depending on the girl, the session could be really awkward, the massage lousy, and the hand release un-fulfilling. Heck, I once had this girl who could not give a handjob to save her life. She had come from a full service place and said it was 10 times easier just to blow the guy! I had another girl who's giant fake nails actually cut into the guys penis!

As for the professor fantasy, I keep what I call my "bookworm" glasses in my purse. You would be surprised how many customers like that look. I've done sessions completely nude, except for the glasses and my hair in a bun. I've also had customers bring in complete school girl/secretary outfits for me to wear.

I haven't had a decent roll playing session in a while...

CJ

Nat said...

I'd like to volunteer for the 202 class. The female students can practice the advanced techniques on me.

Slutty McWhore said...

Ha, I laughed out loud at the "G-strings through the ages" class! I think I would very possibly fail your very rigorous classes, though, CJ. I'm a lazy fucking bitch, and can't be bothered doing anything other than your usual "straight up and down" handjob.

cj said...

Slutty!

Say it ain't so! I was planning on offering you a tenured professorship.

CJ

Slutty McWhore said...

Tenured, you say? If you email me the terms of the contract and details of my pay, I might consider this!

Anonymous said...

How do I become a teachers aide in 402? ;) Did you tell your friend about these when she was new or she just learned on her on while on the job? Do you give her a suggested prices for those advanced ways? Are you fan of those ways to make more money?

cj said...

Dear Anon,

I kinda talk about it with the girls who are totally new to the business, partly because I don't want them to panic when it comes up (no pun intended) but mostly so they know what's allowed and not allowed in the rooms.

In fact, I've already set Rose straight on the prices for a few "extras" that have already been requested. It's important to have uniformity in prices between girls, else you end up with everyone fighting in the end.

And yes, I like most "extras" since it's the easiest way to increase the tip. If some guy wants to suck on my toes for an extra $100, that's OK by me!

CJ

Anonymous said...

CJ;
I caught a link to your blog a few weeks ago and am working my way thru your archives. (And really enjoying it!)

Being a personal security professional (ie: keep your hands off my client or I'll personally secure you to a hospital bed [or pine box]), I thought you might add one module to your curriculum:

Module 325: Just say Hell No; Dealing With Unruly Customers.
Module includes self-defense concepts, grappling and control techniques, and how to use baby oil and talcum to cripple a 300 lb. trucker.

Keep up the good work, and stay safe. And let me know if you need a lab volunteer...

Anonymous said...

275: "Just Say No: A Beginners Guide To Not Having Sex For Money"...lol hell yeah there are plenty of suckers out there who will pay alot of money not to have sex. Just look at all the guys who will buy dinner, drinks and the like with nothing to show for it! Just practice those skills that come naturally with women and it sounds like you'll have it made in erotic massage and taking huge tips from sugar daddies. hehe man guys can be morons with women!

Anonymous said...

275: "Just Say No: A Beginners Guide To Not Having Sex For Money"...lol hell yeah there are plenty of suckers out there who will pay alot of money not to have sex. Just look at all the guys who will buy dinner, drinks and the like with nothing to show for it! Just practice those skills that come naturally with women and it sounds like you'll have it made in erotic massage and taking huge tips from sugar daddies. hehe man guys can be morons with women!

Ryutso said...

I guess if you're required to score a passing grade before moving onto the next course, then Audrey wouldn't get past the 2nd year.