Thursday, August 27, 2009

So you wanna be an Erotic Masseuse?

I've gotten a number of letters recently from girls interested in becoming Erotic Massage Therapists. There's no easy answer to that, and I'm not going to pretend that this line of work is for everyone. So for those of you out there who are considering a job as an erotic masseuse - here are my thoughts on the subject.

Let me start off by saying that I actually like my job. The hours are decent and the work isn't that hard. And for all the time I spend bitching about my co-workers and boss, I really like them (more or less). And the pay goes from Bad to Incredible, depending on the economy.

With that said there are a number of issues you have to consider before taking the leap into the exotic world of the massage parlor.

Sex Work
The biggest issue to consider is whether you're comfortable with the whole "sex" part of the work. Personally, I don't consider anything I do as actual sex, so I don't have any ethical dilemmas with it. I have my own definitions, I draw my own lines and I'm always ready to say "No" to anything I'm not comfortable with - so I'm quite OK with what I do in session.

What it all boils down to is - are you OK with giving a handjob to a guy you just met? That is the fundamental point of the erotic massage. If the answer is "yes" then you can read on, but if not then don't try it to "make a few bucks." You'll make a lousy masseuse and you'll hate yourself for even doing it in the first place. And whatever money you do make you'll end up spending on therapy in a few years. Leave it to the pros.

Guilt and Stigma

Unfortunately, this job can come with a lot of both - depending on how much you bring with you. I had issues of guilt at first, but since I've established my own boundaries I'm totally cool with it. The stigma is still there, so that's why I just tell people I'm a shampooer. I just love that word "shampooer" and I don't know why. It sounds boring and exotic at the same time I think.

Anyway, be prepared to keep your mouth shut about what you do for a living. If you have a boyfriend then be prepared to keep your personal and your business lives separate. I've had an easy time at doing that since most guys really don't care where I disappear to for 8 hours a day.

Just Say "No"
If you're OK with giving handjobs, that's fine and dandy. But one day you're gonna be asked to do more, so you have to be prepared to answer that question when it finally comes. I'm not going to judge you if you're interested in a full service place - that's your business. But you have to mentally prepare yourself to be submerged into an environment of groping guys and unpleasant requests.

Set your boundaries and stick with them no matter what. Believe me - it will help you go home with a clear conscious every day.

Location Location Location
Do some research on the places you want to work at. Talk to the girls - not just the boss. Things to find out are:

Is this place HJ only?
How are you paid?
# of customers per week?

If you only plan on doing HJ's, then stay away from full service places. I did that for a short while and the pay was lousy since I was basically getting the leftover cheap ass customers that the other girls didn't want.

Stay away from places that take a cut of your tips. What you do in that room to earn your money is your own business. Bosses that take a cut basically turn into "pimps" who are constantly accusing you of taking "their" money. These kinds of places also encourage you to do things you're not comfortable with because it's money in their pocket.

Stick with places that take their money at the door. Also find out how you're compensated for therapeutic customers. They usually don't tip, but require the most actual massage work.

And finally, make sure the place is doing decent enough business and whether you'll get some of the "gravy" shifts. At The Business, we rotate through the best shifts (Friday-day and Saturday-night) so we can all get some of the gravy. Tuesday mornings are DEAD.

Stay away from places run by men. I can't repeat that enough. At every single place around here that I know of, male owners are usually slimy, disgusting guys who harass the girls. Sure - during the interview they'll be all nice to you, but once you start making some money, they'll start demanding their "piece" if you want to keep your job. Female bosses will only try to screw you on money - at least you know where you stand with them.

Once again I'm making a generalization, but this is why it's so important to actually talk to some of the girls who work there first.

Work Work

And lastly - this is a real job just like any other. 95% of your time will be spent MASSAGING. If all you're capable of is a decent "girlfriend" quality massage, then you'll be fine. But if you're not even good at that, then please don't work in a parlor. I don't know how many times I've heard a customer complain (or even lost a customer) because they had a bad experience with some girl who poked at his shoulders for a few minutes before grabbing his dick and sending him home WELL before the session was over.

And just like any other job, you'll be expected to be on time, put in a full day's work and help clean up around the place. A parlor is not the kind of place where you can just show up, jerk a few dicks and pocket a couple hundred bucks before you go clubbing. If you're interested in free lance work, consider a career in street walking.

As for The Business, we just hired a new girl to help us out now that things are picking up. Funny - she's a college student so I'm sure there will be some interesting things to tell about her later.

Good luck girls!!!!



Joker_SATX said...

Its interesting to see how you describe this in a professional manner.

I wish I would have lived closer because I will tell you, that I can't find a good masseuse here regardless of weather they are erotic or not.

Anonymous said...

“The Biz”

Few questions below:

1). Do you have showers?

2). How do you manage your time during the session? Like 25 minutes for the back, flip over, 25minutes for the front and the then the rest for the finale and getting dressed?

3). How do you handle the situation when the customer has a personal hygiene problem?

4). Do you allow the customer free roaming over your body?

5). When do you discuss the menu of optional services and when does the customer pay for them?

Finally, it’s great that you’re going to add a gallery of pictures. But, for your truly loyal fans, would you consider offering X rated pics for a fee? Say the word, I would be willing to purchase them via my PayPal account.

yank my nutz said...

How does a customer move onto receiving the "titty fuck option." How long or how comfortable? Have you ever blown a sugar daddy or how far would you go if you haven't?

Soul Powers said...

Any advice for men who want to be a masseuse (erotic or non) for women?

Anonymous said...

I'd strongly suggest that those of you with questions actually read the blog from start to finish before asking questions that have already been answered before. So far not a single question here that has not been specifically addressed, in many cases multiple times, in past posts or comments threads..

Anonymous said...


I think circling back and going over topics previously discussed is helpful to new readers of your blog versus having to read all 175 prior posts. Also, your views may have changed since your original post.

cj said...

Dear Anon and Yank,
Boy - do you have a lot of catching up to do! Start reading this weekend...

After I've seen a customer a few times, I may be comfortable with them asking. It's not an option I usually bring up first.

Dear Soul,
Unforunately it doesn't really work that way. I know a lot of people have this weird notion that being a masseuse is like in the movies with lots of hot clients and hot masseuses rubbing oil all over each other.

In reality the typical customer is old, overweight, and may have a B.O. problem. But it's that type that have the money and need for therapeutic massages. A guy in the field - if he's lucky - may be able to find a resort spa that lets him cater to women only. In the normal day spas, he'd be welcome, but no guarantee of women only.


Rich said...

I know I couldn't do it (if I was a woman) mostly because being a guy, I know that no matter what we say, deep down, all us guys are douchewads in one way or another. I'd have to tune out so much after a while (hmm, lets see,, I need to get eggs, milk, some laundry soap and turkey from the store...) that I'll start freaking out and thinking that the guy is picking up on it. But that's me, I can small someone faking their way through something when they're in front of me. Some of us are like that but then again, you'll rarely if ever see us for exactly that same reason.

Soul Powers said...


Thanks. That's kinda what I figured, but I appreciate you confirming that for me. I may look at some classes next year when I get some other things going. I'll keep reading you.

BeenThereDoneThat said...

A side note from a regular:

I wish anyone well who decides to take the plunge and enter this type of work. Since your pay is mostly cash, it is pretty tempting to not report any of it to the IRS. Yes, you will get away with it to a point but it might catch up to you if you aren't careful.

Also, please make sure you deposit some of that daily cash in a savings account and save for a rainy day and retirement. One of the problems that people who make most of their money in cash, be in a masseuse / dancer / waiter is that they spend it like it's burning a hole in their pocket. Your shelf life as a masseuse (or dancer) does limit your earning potential when you get older. Once you get used to making $1000 over a weekend of handjobs, you'll be screwed when you can't get that anymore and you are used to making that much bank. Really.

One last side note - Dancers generally have the worst money sense on the planet. They spend every penny they get, have the worst credit and will have a car repo'd 95% of the time when they finance it.

Thorn said...

Just popping in to let you know I haven't fallen off the face of the planet. Wishing you well as always and reading on.