Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The New Girl

Sorry I haven't been around lately, but my fucking laptop got a virus and now it's shot. It's not completely dead, but it has been coughing up blood. I've been reduced to using my old computer at home. Ugh - it took me forever to get it up and running. So if there are any particularly generous gentlemen out there who would like to ensure I can update regularly, please feel free to send me a new laptop (did you honestly think I paid for the old one?).

Anyway, enough bitching and moaning about my problems. I want to tell you about the new girl. Things have been picking up around here so Audrey hired Carla to cover some of the problem shifts where we never seemed to have enough help. The problem though is that these shifts were a mess because it was summer and no one wanted to work them. Now that summer is over, we don't need the help.

So I guess we're stuck with Carla. I'm afraid that Audrey is going to put her only on shifts where she won't cut into HER clients. Already I'm expecting the worse. But oh well - watcha gonna do?

Carla is nice enough I guess. Not much of a talker, but not uncomfortable to be around either. She came from a Business much closer to the city, but has recently moved out here to the country. She's Italian and looks it. Very pretty face. She's also very curvy, and by that I mean her top half is balanced out by her bottom half. She has a 2 year old girl and is attending the local community college. So when she tells a customer she's a poor, struggling student - she ain't kidding (that reminds me that I need to get off my ass one of these days and go back to school).

She's working out OK so far, but during our first shift together, she gave a customer a topless hand release for $30. When she told me I nearly flipped out. Turns out that Audrey gave her almost NO direction when she started. I recalibrated her so now she knows the proper prices and to NEVER cut them - OR ELSE.

Now I know for a fact that the place she comes from is full service. But, she claims she only did hand jobs there. It might be true since I used to be in that same situation, plus she doesn't seem to give off that full-service vibe. But if she does do something stupid, I'm sure I'll find out eventually. And the last thing we need is a girl doing full service behind everyone else's back.

Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to throw this old antique computer out the window. This thing must have frozen about 12 times since I started typing this evening and I'm about to blow a fuse. So if I disappear for a couple of weeks - it's because I went postal on this piece of crap. I know I could go to the public library and use their computers, but I think I'd feel slightly self conscious trying to describe my latest freak in diapers and high heels, while sitting next to an old lady buying quilts on e-bay.



Soul Powers said...

LOL! Yeah, posting from the library would be a bit awkward.

I know the $30 guy was happy as a pig in shit! Hahahahaha... Good thing you corrected her. Could have gone on for months.

Hope you get back online soon.

Lata lady.

Anonymous said...

download and run malwarebytes on your computer. Should help you delete a bunch of the crap.

Sam Sneed said...

Hey CJ,

Well I hate to turn your blog into a geek show, but regarding your messed up computer(s):

If you have the install cd for them, you can usually reinstall windows and the thing will run just like new again. I promise. Viruses don't hurt the computer itself, just the programs.

I just want to get you up and running as soon as possible 'cause WE NEED YOU CJ!

Anonymous said...

A handy option if you have a CD burner handy is the Avira Rescue CD - Google it, download it, run it to burn it to a CD, then boot the PC from that CD.

Starts up in German, but hit the UK flag button to switch to English. Go to the Configuration (Options?) area and change it to Repair or Rename, then go back to Scan and tell it to scan your computer.

May not get everything, but frequently will clean things up well enough to get you back into the system where you can run another antivirus package.

em jay peeeee said...

Or you could just mail me the laptop. I'll fix it free of charge and mail it back to you.

(let's see...searching for folder labeled "titty fight pictures")

Or better yet, set up a paypal donations link on your page. We'll all kick in a couple bucks each and you can get one of those cute little sony netbooks that fit in your purse.

cj said...


Eric has already yelled at me for what I did to the computer and not listening to him earlier. You see, I am like totally addicted to downloading music and I spend my computer time (when I'm not recounting handjobs gone wrong) surfing kazaa and limewire and such. And that's probably where I got the virus.

Eric said he's sending a disk that's supposed to help clean up my computer, or at the very least help me save my pictures and music files.

Now I like that idea of the sexy little computers that fit in a bag. I saw one in red online and I think it's totally hot. Now if one of you gentlemen out there would like to get me one, I think maybe I could give up a little anonymity in return for some generosity! LOL


Anonymous said...

What a surprise.

Tex said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tex said...

I have a computer I can send you. 15 inch Dell.

Tweed said...

What are your usual prices?

Don said...

I can get you a computer. If it is a net book you want lets talk