Thursday, September 10, 2009

Freak of the Week - The Millionaire

I know I'm supposed to be answering questions, but I just had to tell you this story from Labor Day weekend.

I've had this one Regular for maybe about a year or so. He comes in every 2 or 3 months. Normally we just chit chat during session, but last weekend I asked him what his story was. He explained to me that he's now comfortably retired at the ripe old age of 43.

Now we get a lot of guys in here claiming to be rich. Sometimes you can tell and sometimes you can't. I mean, anyone can drive up here in a Hummer - but that doesn't prove that you're rich, it only proves you have poor taste in cars. My personal technique is to see what the guys wearing - in particular his shoes and watch.

Anyway, "Frank" is a millionaire. His story is when he was 20, his parents won the lottery. Now instead of just giving a chunk of change to their sons Frank and Ernest, they turned it into a challenge. The parents put away a million bucks each into 2 trust funds for the sons. But here's the catch - the money would be turned over in 20 years ONLY if they had 1 million bucks CASH in the bank.

So at the tender young age of 20, Frank became a financial planning expert. He worked hard, socked away as much as he could in savings and investments, and basically led a rather disciplined life until he could cash in at the age of 40. He said it wasn't that bad when you think about it - he just had to add $50k to his assets every year.

So when the trust fund became available 3 years ago, he just cashed in all his stocks, bonds, real estate, etc (and with the booming economy back then he had more than enough to qualify for the money). It didn't hurt either that the million had been collecting interest for 20 years. And as part of the plan, Frank quit his job and retired at the age of 40.

Frank is not my Freak of the Week. Now I bet you weren't planning on me saying that in this story, did you? LOL

Ernest also got his money.

Franks brother was 18 when the game began, and just like Frank, Ernest worked hard and socked away every penny into savings. But unlike Frank, he relied more on savings than investing, so virtually every penny he earned went into the bank.

And apparently that was the problem.

Ernest became slowly obsessed with earning money and socking it away. His social life vanished because he was too cheap to go anywhere. He moved out of his apartment for a boarding house because it was cheaper. And he started taking advantage of everyone if it could save him a buck.

Then about 5 years before the deadline, something in him just snapped. It became almost impossible for Ernest to spend any money. He started living in his car. He would rummage through garbage cans for food. For all intents and purposes, he started living like a homeless guy, which is odd because he still had a good job as an equipment operator at the local plant.

Frank said his brother was pretty much normal in every other way, except he lived this homeless lifestyle. So when he became eligible for the trust fund at the age of 38, he took the money. BUT NOTHING CHANGED. Even today - you might see this guy downtown going through a dumpster for food - AND HE'S A MILLIONAIRE. Go figure.

I was like totally shocked when I heard this story. In my opinion, this would be the definition of Hell. A million bucks in the bank, but mentally incapable of spending it. I joked with Frank that he should send him here and maybe we could get him to lighten up a bit. He said we would regret it because Ernest stopped showering a long time ago... Ewwwwww.

Now for those of you who are only interested in stories with happy endings, don't worry. I'm still working on those answers for next week, so please feel free to keep asking questions in that post. Have a good weekend!



Anonymous said...

You're story doesn't say if their parents are still living or not. But, I got to wondering what they'd think about their little "contest" now, if they knew what it did to Ernest.

Anonymous said...

This guy was the local eccentric in my town when I grew up:

(Well, he was one of two or three can collectors at least)

RIV said...

I can see that happening.

If you push for that goal, you're going to do anything you can to achieve it (in this case, the money), but once that goal is reached, he just couldn't do it because he didn't know how to break out of that habit.

Pretty sad, actually.

There is world record holder as "The Most miserly" of a multi millionairess, look it up. It's almost depressing.

Anonymous said...

i was on a ride-along in bethesda maryland with some police officers. there was a shambolic, shaggy, homeless guy walking in a multi-million dollar neighborhood, with a lawn mower, so the officer stopped him. he was barefoot, and it was close to 40 degrees that day.

the people came out of their houses to say "Billy"
lives near by. His family had been very successful international diplomats, they had left him a trust fund and an apartment, but he liked sleeping in the woods near the highway and he made money mowing lawns. while he was pulling out his ID, he pulled this giant wad of 20's out.

damnedest story i ever saw.

Anonymous said...



Mike said...

The cruelest prison is the one we build in our mind..

RIV said...

Well said and quite true!

Anonymous said...

That was an interesting post. Thanks. A few stories like these thrown into the mix would be nice. You meet alot of interesting people from all walks of life. So please feel free to toss in a few now and then. HE are nice but I have other interests and what happened to HNT? :(

Oh well maybe next week. Have a nice weekend CJ


cj said...

What the Hell is HNT?

Mike said...

HNT.. "Honey..Not Tonight"...

Anonymous said...

HNT - Half-Nekkid Thursdays!

Most people think, "Nekkid", or its variations, somehow insinuates sex, or its variations. WRONG!! The purpose of "Half-Nekkid Thursday" is not to see sex acts. It is the celebration of exposure. Of your shoulders, tatoos, breasts, nipples, uvula, legs, whatever. Of course, sex acts can qualify, so if you want to post those.....

"Nekkid" is not the same as nude! Again, nude qualifies, but it is not a requirement!

Pictures should be taken of you or by you. Don't be going to some internet site and downloading "Half-Nekkid" pics. And don't use Uncle Bob's pictures from Spring Break '67, either. Let's try to keep this fairly "real".

I hope this helps. :]

Anonymous said...

previous post

PJ :]

Anonymous said...

Why is your spa so freaking expensive? You flipped out over a $30 topless? Here in Toronto standard tipping is $20 topless, $30-40 nude, $50-$60 nude reverse, $70-$80 bodyslide. Are the prices at your place the norm where you are? Must be a lack of competition

Anonymous said...

Please explain 'nude reverse' and 'bodyslide'

Anonymous said...

In a nude reverse, the customer gets to massage the attendant's body (in addition to the attendant massaging the customer) A body slide means that the attendant slides her body over the customer (laying face-up on his back), generally simulating fucking but with no actual penetration.

wait2cme said...

We had a guy in my hometown that rode a red bike around town. Looked like that guy on “Friday the thirteenth” the one that would always pop up and scream leave camp Crystal Lake or your doomed! Well this guy looked just as crazy. Years later we find out he was worth over 12 million dollars with no wife or kids when he died. We used to call him crazy Otto. You really can’t tell who has money and who is heavy in dept. Just because a guy has nice cloths and an expensive watch does not mean he is rich either. My cousin and I make almost the same money but he spends it as soon as he gets it me on the other hand have more money in the bank and investments

cj said...

Dear Anon,
Why are you guys so freakin cheap in Toronto???!! Holy crap... at prices like that we'd go outta business!

Anyway, I think the difference is that parlors in Toronto probably outnumber us 10 to 1. AND you guys don't have to hide in the shadows like we do.

Other Anon,
What you call a "reverse" we call a "Mutual." It's kind of a 4th option, but I usually don't bring it up unless I'm comfortable with the customer. The "bodyslide" thing is new to me. Must be a Toronto thing. LOL


Anonymous said...

No, the body slide is done elsewhere... like in Japan and Thailand's "soaplands". Oh, and they fuck the hell out of you there, too, are you kidding? That's just too sexy.
Gotta get out more, CJ. And the Business' prices ARE nuts.