Thursday, November 5, 2009
The Search For CJ
I get about half a dozen e-mails each week from guys claiming they've "found" me - or at least asking if I was the masseuse they had 3 years ago ("Remember me - I was the tall thin guy wearing a Yankee's ball cap?"). As you all know by now, I need my privacy in order to write anything interesting so I can't afford to see anyone who reads this. It's a catch 22.
Which is a shame because I would absolutely LOVE the business right now. Plus we'd have plenty to talk about!
Anyway, before I started sharing lurid stories online, I would periodically surf the internet for any references to myself and the Business. It's always interesting to see things from the customers perspective. So for all you "hobbyists" out there - don't think that we don't know what you guys are saying about us.
Mostly I'm talking about those adult review websites. Both Audrey and I are members of several of them, just so we can catch up on all the latest gossip about us and our competitors. Yes - we use the internet to spy on other Businesses and each other (I don't know how many times I've read a bad review about a "skank" named Audrey). We need to work for customers just like any other business, so we keep an eye on our competition.
But what's really fun is when you find something on a local business forum posted by a very unhappy housewife who just discovered her husbands credit card statements. Guess which of the following reviews was written by a woman?
A) "I got a blowjob from the blonde slut and ended up with a rash"
B) "They're all a bunch of dick sucking whores."
C) "Those skanks stole my wallet!"
The correct answer is "D" - all of the above. It's kinda obvious when it's not a customer because the stuff they say is just way off in left field. Well, if they're talking about Audrey, then the rash thing might be true.
Anyway, guys tend to share different info. Like some of these gems:
"Gave a less than enthusiastic hand release"
"No FS. HJ only. Clothing options"
"Will let you finger her"
Needless to say, I've never had a customer who said he came in because we had good "reviews." Guys don't tend to share their secrets with us, which is a shame because I could probably give more accurate reviews of the local girls than most of that crap they post on the websites. Honestly - if a customer wanted to know where to get a decent BJ, I could recommend girls I know at other Businesses.
Now recently I've been following the internet chat on "CJ." Personally I think it's funny and flattering to see how much some of you guys have to say about me. To be safe, I will neither confirm nor deny how accurate any of your info is, but let me just say that I'm not too worried about being discovered any time soon.
And remember - this isn't a contest. So whoever does their homework and actually finds me - I've decided that you're not getting a freebie! LOL. Actually, I don't know what I'd do if a customer ever said "you're CJ, aren't you!" I think I'd totally freak out.
To be honest, the idea really does make me nervous. I mean, if that were to ever happen, then our real address and names could be posted all over the internet, and that scares the shit out of me. Most of you guys who have written to me seem normal and nice, but I have had more than my share of assholes and stalkers.
So those of you who still insist on finding me, good luck and just be cool about it. I wonder how many masseuses out here have been asked if they know a "CJ?"