Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Search For CJ

I get about half a dozen e-mails each week from guys claiming they've "found" me - or at least asking if I was the masseuse they had 3 years ago ("Remember me - I was the tall thin guy wearing a Yankee's ball cap?"). As you all know by now, I need my privacy in order to write anything interesting so I can't afford to see anyone who reads this. It's a catch 22.

Which is a shame because I would absolutely LOVE the business right now. Plus we'd have plenty to talk about!

Anyway, before I started sharing lurid stories online, I would periodically surf the internet for any references to myself and the Business. It's always interesting to see things from the customers perspective. So for all you "hobbyists" out there - don't think that we don't know what you guys are saying about us.

Mostly I'm talking about those adult review websites. Both Audrey and I are members of several of them, just so we can catch up on all the latest gossip about us and our competitors. Yes - we use the internet to spy on other Businesses and each other (I don't know how many times I've read a bad review about a "skank" named Audrey). We need to work for customers just like any other business, so we keep an eye on our competition.

But what's really fun is when you find something on a local business forum posted by a very unhappy housewife who just discovered her husbands credit card statements. Guess which of the following reviews was written by a woman?

A) "I got a blowjob from the blonde slut and ended up with a rash"
B) "They're all a bunch of dick sucking whores."
C) "Those skanks stole my wallet!"

The correct answer is "D" - all of the above. It's kinda obvious when it's not a customer because the stuff they say is just way off in left field. Well, if they're talking about Audrey, then the rash thing might be true.

Anyway, guys tend to share different info. Like some of these gems:

"Gave a less than enthusiastic hand release"
"Awesome tits"
"No FS. HJ only. Clothing options"
"Will let you finger her"

Needless to say, I've never had a customer who said he came in because we had good "reviews." Guys don't tend to share their secrets with us, which is a shame because I could probably give more accurate reviews of the local girls than most of that crap they post on the websites. Honestly - if a customer wanted to know where to get a decent BJ, I could recommend girls I know at other Businesses.

Now recently I've been following the internet chat on "CJ." Personally I think it's funny and flattering to see how much some of you guys have to say about me. To be safe, I will neither confirm nor deny how accurate any of your info is, but let me just say that I'm not too worried about being discovered any time soon.

And remember - this isn't a contest. So whoever does their homework and actually finds me - I've decided that you're not getting a freebie! LOL. Actually, I don't know what I'd do if a customer ever said "you're CJ, aren't you!" I think I'd totally freak out.

To be honest, the idea really does make me nervous. I mean, if that were to ever happen, then our real address and names could be posted all over the internet, and that scares the shit out of me. Most of you guys who have written to me seem normal and nice, but I have had more than my share of assholes and stalkers.

So those of you who still insist on finding me, good luck and just be cool about it. I wonder how many masseuses out here have been asked if they know a "CJ?"



Soul Powers said...

Yeah, that is a little bit spooky. LOL. You're stories are so interesting that I wish I could be a customer, too. :)

Stalkers suck ass, though. And women stalkers are the fuckin' worst. I feel your pain. I've had a stalker since 2000. Crazy fuckin' nutcase. Grrr.

If I ever find a place like yours in my city, I'm gonna fuck with the masseuse and say, "You're CJ aren't you?" in your honor. LOL

Joker_SATX said...

Well, I admire your sense of Modesty. You have to admit that this blog is popular. Not only that, you are a good writer about the business and keep the stories and goings on, very interesting.

Not trying to suck up here, but I think it could go two ways for you. It could either end in doom as you say, or you could have a line waiting for your services that stretch all the way to Arkham here.....

Things that make you go Hmmmmm.....


You better hope I'll never find you cus I'm a fucking psychopath.

em jaye peeeeee said...

"Word Verifiction" has provided the perfect example of why CJ has to try to hide her identity and refrain from offering her services to her male internet fans.

Thanks a lot creepo. You've really added a lot to the discussion. I hope you catch ebola.

Wack said...

I vauguely remember you talking on this subject in a much earlier post. Wasn't the reward at that time a added double for free? Not that I'm anywhere close to PA, haha

Anonymous said...

I've had a stalker ever since Soul Powers saw my cock fall out of the bottom of my swimming trunks.

Reflex said...

If I were in the area, and somehow stumbled upon you, I'd probably get a massage just to say hey and provide feedback, plus its been ages since I've had a real massage. Not interested in happy endings or extras, but I'd tip you all the same just for my enjoyment of your blog, however.

Anonymous said...

Every now and then I read a post that makes me think this is all fiction.

Mariano Rivera said...

Most reviewers/ hobbyist aren't "creepy" and very respectful to the massage/service providers. Although, there are always a couple of those cheap bastard who always try to get more for less and never satisfied.
I'm in a couple of review board and we're all pretty well behaved.

Btw, you do know that you can get an NRP (No Review Policy) if you ask your clients nicely, right?

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing no one that reads the blog
is anywhere near you... How many Businesses were under construction for a few days, with guys, tools, and materials going in and out. Seems like an easy thing to spot. Or even a construction permit filed, that's a public record isn't it?

cj said...

Or option #3 - men in uniform knocking on my door who want to question me about all this "evidence" I've dumped on the internet.

No thanks!

Thanks for proving my point!!!!

Yes - you remembered! In fact, that's one of the reasons I wanted to make it clear that I was just joking earlier. At the time I never thought anyone would actually find me. Now I'm actually starting to worry.

Why do I doubt you wouldn't say no to a happy ending? Especially after paying for one.

Let met get this straight... A girl on the internet talks about being talked about on the internet, and you think I'm making it up?

Dude, are you serious? I mean really.

At least wait until I talk about one of the wackier customers, then you can accuse me of making shit up.

Please tell me more about this NRP thing. I think that would come in handy.

Are you actually suggesting to the potential stalkers out there that they find me through public records on building permits? Yes, I'm sure that Audrey's "friend" who brought in those 7 guys who didn't speak english filed all the appropriate and necessary paperwork...


Reflex said...

CJ -

Because you do not know me very well. The day I pay for it is the day I will seriously consider shooting myself. I will, however, pay for a quality massage, which you actually are capable of giving according to your credentials, and a nice tip for all the great stories and insights is certainly reasonable.

Paying for sex in any form is counter to my *personal* ethics(non religious, and personal not a believer in forcing it on society), and quite frankly stupid since I've never had a problem getting it for free(well, so long as relationships are considered 'free').

This isn't a judgement on anyone else, I understand that my ethics are personal. And at times absurd. I won't use the club cards stores give away and willingly pay higher prices for groceries as a result of my ethics. I refuse to pay to see any movie with a Scientologist in a lead role due to my ethical concerns about that 'church'. I tip 20% at every restaurant, even if I wasn't happy with the food and service(I vote by not returning if unhappy).

Its just my ethical system. And yes, it does mean I can be in a room with a very attractive female perfectly willing to give me a happy ending and say "That won't be required" even if I am mildly curious at what the hell a two handed criss cross technique is.

And no judgement to anyone else who accepted that offer, I don't pretend my system is a system that everyone should follow, or even that its a good system. Its just my system.

I understand why you would not believe me though, working your field I am sure you hear this BS all the time, only to see it fall by the wayside when oppurtunity knocks.

Mariano Rivera said...

Well, you've been in the business for quite sometime, so I'm pretty sure there are a lot of reviews about you in the escort/mp(usually they're together in a review board, but have different sections) review board.
If you give mostly good clients, ppl usually give u good reviews as well (hobbyist are mostly honest and look out for each other), they'll then write stuff about what you offer (options, extras, position you did), then they might also rate your face,body,service in a scale of 1-10. Then they'll write whether they would repeat their experience or not.
If you give bad services, then you'll get bad reviews.

The NRP is mostly for new SPs, because it's kinda not fair to review them the first time around "learning" how to deal with stuff. Remember when u first got into the business? Horrifying, wasn't it? So some agencies/parlour would then tell their clients to not review that particular SP for at least until she's comfortable w/ the job. Then it's up to the SP whether to lift the NRP or not. If she choose to keep the NRP, most reviewers are quite respectful and won't review you.

Like I wrote earlier, since you're in the business for a while, then you probably have a lot of review already. You still could ask your clients when they walk in to not review you. Just ask them if they're in a review board or not and whether he reviewed you before. If you decide to put an NRP, then tell them all nicely. You can't just ask someone not to review you because you just gave a bad service to him, that's not fair. So if you choose to have an NRP, it has to be to all your clients.
Hope this helps.

Sorry about your Phillies,


cjiv said...

The important thing, whether or not anyone ever finds you, is that we here in the intertubes wish you a very happy birthday. Yes, I'm that good. Then again, we have the same birthday and the same initials, so I kinda get to cheat.

Anyway, I hope someone special is using their hands on you tonight. I think you've earned it.

Keep up the great posts.

- Your internet twin.

Tom Moran said...

I'm quite content with you being an anonymous blogger writing insightful and very funny posts about what you do. They make me smile.

But should I ever win the lottery, I think we can come to some arrangement that will allow me to visit your place of business without risking your anonymity.

And then I'll *really* smile. :)

Mike said...

It's your birthday?

Well! Happy Birthday...

I mean.. Really!

Anonymous said...

CJ, I realize that the "happy ending" is intended to result in a manual release. However, do the exotic masseuses prefer to just blow the guy? The reason for this question is that some women just love to blow men and receive tremendous satisfaction from it. Also, do they fear repetitive stress injuries in their wrists and forearms? That could result in an end to their tradework.